A/N: Hiiii! Virtual hugs n kisses to all of you!

If it seems like it goes by quick, its intentional. I hate stuff that isn't happy lolz

Also, here's a question everyone hates but must be asked. What's your least favorite song of Harry's?

Mine is Cherry sorry, not sorry. Meet Me In The Hallway is a very close second. Maybe they're tied.

Not that I hate them, but they're just my least favorites lol don't come for meeee

Hope you enjoy!

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golden boy

I let it ring for a while, just staring at it.

Finally, I answer it, shakily bringing the phone to my face, "Hello?"

"Hi," He breathes out and my chest contracts.

"Hi back." I had to.

He breathes out again, "Delilah, I know you have no reason to listen to me and no reason to do anything for me. But, I- I miss you." Pause. "So much, baby. Seeing you has made it so hard to keep my distance. I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you." Pause. "Please just meet with me so I can explain things. So I can explain everything. Please, honeybee."

The nickname makes my heart crack a little. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it until he'd said it. I shake my head even though he can't see me, "There's nothing to explain, Harry." I try to keep my voice steady.

"There is. There's a lot. Please, Delilah. Please just meet with me," He begs.

I think about it. I wasn't in the wrong in any way. This would just be two exes having a cordial talk. I can be mature enough to do that.

"Fine." I tell him.

He lets out a deep breath, "Thank you. Do you want to meet me at my house?"

"Um, no. No, I don't think that would be such a good idea, Harry."

"Oh, right. Sorry." He pauses. "Beachwood Café, then? 12:30?"

My heart cracked a second time. The last time I'd been there was with him. At the beginning. "Sure." But my voice cracks.

"Okay, great. Great, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow." He promises.

"Tomorrow."

†

I was running fashionably late. I didn't want to be early and seem eager and I didn't want to be on time and seem like I cared too much. Or maybe I spent too much time making sure I looked perfect.

I was pathetic.

As I was driving, my eyes felt heavy. I hadn't slept last night. I hadn't slept the past few months, to be honest. The nightmares had come back the first night I was alone, and I was angry.

I was angry that I was losing sleep over the person who woke me up.

I was 15 minutes late and had just parked, photographers already flashing their cameras inside my car.

I ducked my head and hurried inside, looking around until my eyes landed on Harry. And he was sitting at the same table we had sat at when we first came here.

I walked up slowly, timidly, "Hi."

He smiled, seemingly just as nervous, "Hi back."

I sit down across from him and it's awkwardly silent. He's playing with his rings when I speak, "So," I start. "What did you want to talk about?"

He sits back and clears his throat. "I- Um, I feel like I should explain why I did what I did." He says slowly.

"Break up with me?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

He shakes his head. "I already told you why I did that."

"Doesn't mean it made any sense."

He lets out a breath. "Then, I'll say it again." He sits up, leaning his arms on the table, green eyes looking in mine. "I genuinely thought it was best. I thought having someone tying you down, someone you were always going to be away from, was going to make you feel like you had to stay. Or you weren't going to take every opportunity. And you deserve to take every opportunity, Delilah."

I shake my head, looking down, "I can understand that to a certain degree, Harry. If what we had was just some fling, something casual, I would've understood breaking up. But you told me you loved me, you told me how well I fit in with your family, you met my family, you told me how good I looked with kids." My voice cracked and I looked back up at him. "That's not something casual. I meant what I had told you. Our relationship was strong enough to handle the distance. But you just gave up. And that was what sucked the most."

His eyes are sad and dim, begging. "It's not that I didn't think we were strong enough. I know we were. I just think I needed to leave you be for a bit so you could be able to accomplish everything you wanted. Alone. And then maybe after some time had passed, we could've-"

"We could've what? Found our way back to each other?" I scoff. "For that to be possible, I think fucking your ex-girlfriend, who you supposedly hated, probably wasn't a smart step towards that."

I hear him mumble, "You slept with someone, too,"

And I lose it.

"Yeah, 5 months after we broke up, you asshole. For one night. Not that it's any of your business but the second you broke up with me, I was free to do whatever I wanted. At least I had the fucking decency to give it some time before sticking my-"

"Alright!" He raises his voice, looking around. "Alright." He speaks lower now, eyes frantic. "You're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Ilanna wasn't...isn't anything. At first, she was just someone to distract me." He shrugs, "And as time passed, we had to get along for the sake of-"

"Harry, I seriously don't need to hear this. I really, really don't." Was he mental? Did he really think I wanted to hear about how his relationship went from fuck buddies to friends with benefits?

"I'm just trying to say that she isn't- wasn't anything serious."

I scoff again. "You've been with her almost as long as you and I were together. Longer actually, if you count your past."

He shakes his head, "Ilanna and I aren't dating. We never were. There was just one night when I needed a distraction." I wanted to vomit. "But after that, my dad set it up for us to stay together so my tour could get more attention and so her modeling could take off further. It's been nothing but business. But it's over."

I squint my eyes at him, "You're not an idiot, Harry. You had to have known how this would look. Do you know how fucking stupid I felt when I would walk out of my own home and have people yelling at me that you two were together and that I had cheated on you? It was horrible." My eyes started watering. No. No fucking way I'm going to cry. "You broke my heart. You left me sobbing on my fucking floor and didn't look back. But I was the one who had to hear and read about how much of a whore I was and how Delilah Quinn had to be absolutely heartless to break up with the Harry Styles. I had to deal with that, a lot of the time, alone. And for what? Because you wanted a quick fuck to distract you from the decision you made?"

He was silent, staring at me. Finally, he let out a shaky exhale, "You're right. You're right. Absolutely right." He doesn't waver his gaze from mine. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He reaches for my hand and I let him hold it. It's not like it means anything. "Sleeping with her was a mistake. If it had happened once or a million times, it was a mistake. I regret it every single day, but I can't take it back. I just want us to get back to how we were."

"We can't, Harry. We can't get back to how we were. At least not right now." I shake my head at him and I feel him squeeze my hand.

"Then when?" His eyes are searching for an answer in mine. "Honeybee, I swear to you, every single day that has passed has been filled with nothing but regret. But I saw you succeeding and doing all the things you'd told me you wanted to do, and I didn't think it would've been fair for me to come running back to you. Not when you were doing so well on your own. But I want you back in my life. I need you back in my life. I miss you." Pause. "You're everything."

And I wanted to scream. I wasn't his everything.

But I stayed quiet. I thought about it all. I hated to admit it but I wanted to be in his life, and I wanted him to be in mine. I never hid the fact that I missed him.

I was a sucker for second chances and I always hated that about myself.

"I miss you, too." I whisper, knowing I shouldn't. He pulls me closer to him, but I stop him before he can pull me against his chest. I give him a hard stare, "It's not going to be easy, Harry. You're going to have to grovel and beg and work really hard towards rebuilding a friendship."

He nods. "I know. I plan to."

†

And apparently, he really did plan to. It's been two weeks of us working towards being friends and every single day, I received a letter from him. Some were his favorite Oscar Wilde quotes, some were telling me what the words that he'd chosen for his days were, and some were just to tell me that he missed me.

I responded to each letter with a text, knowing it would take way too long to mail it back. I don't even know how he got them to me so fast. I kept every single letter, though. He'd remembered how much I liked handwritten things.

He would call me randomly and we'd talk for hours. And sometimes I texted him for random things, the letters aside.

your word for today is revamp? I had asked him.

I had to google it and I smiled softly once it had loaded.

giving new and improved structure to? i quite like that.

I didn't bother to correct him when he said relationship.

I thought about it and smiled as I typed it, hoping he remembers.

yellow.

Three bubbles pop up again.

And I was left smiling like an idiot. I hadn't seen him in person, thinking that texting and calling was a good start. I still held some anger over how Harry had handled the situation, but I was getting over it a lot quicker than I thought.

And I wasn't going to dwell on it. Because I was happy. And being happy didn't mean that everything was perfect. It just meant that you cared enough to look beyond the imperfections. And that's what we were trying to do.

But I missed him. So when he asked me if I wanted to go shopping with him, I said yes. I knew what Harry meant by shopping. He meant walking into a Gucci store and coming out 3 hours later with 15 bags full of unnecessarily expensive clothing. I've seen it happen, but it was fun to watch.

Right now, we were at a Gucci store, naturally, and we were putting on a fashion show for each other. I picked out the ugliest hat and coat I could find and put them on, both of us laughing at how ridiculous we looked.

"Delilah?" A familiar voice cut my laughter short. I took the hat off and put it down, hesitantly turning to face the person the voice belonged to.

"Madison?"

"Oh my God, it is you!" She smiled widely, coming forward to hug me while I let my arms hang awkwardly at my sides.

She pulled back and looked behind me to Harry. She had the same look in her eyes that Layla had. I wasn't surprised, he's beautiful and people know who he is.

But, hell no.

She walked forward and jut her hand out for him to shake it, "Oh my god, you're Harry Styles!"

I rolled my eyes as she pushed her chest forward but when I looked at Harry, his disdain couldn't be more obvious. I can tell he remembered when I told him about her.

He squinted his eyes but still smiled, "Hello." He shook her hand quickly and let it go.

I watched as Madison gave him a small smirk before turning back to me. "It's been so long, Delilah! You look really good." She looked me up and down and gave me a wink.

I refrained from scoffing at her, "Thanks. Well, we should get going. Have a good one." I go to pull Harry's arm and she stops me.

"Wait. We should get lunch or something, Delilah. So we can catch up." She brings her hand to rest on my arm, her fake nails scraping against my skin. I look down at it and look back at her with my eyebrows raised.

Funny, I dated the biggest star in the world and got a number 1 song and now I'm good enough for her.

"Oh, I don't know, I'm super busy." I tell her and give a fake apologetic smile.

She starts rubbing her hand up and down my arm, "Oh, come on. You can make time for an old friend, right?"

I go to speak but Harry interrupts me, "Old friends? That's weird, Delilah never mentioned you before." He shrugs and I try to hide my smile.

"Oh." Her confidence falters for a second before smiling again, "You never told him about us? We were pretty close, weren't we?" And she gives a flirty smile as I try not to punch her in the neck.

"Nah, I wouldn't consider kissing me and pretending you liked me for a bet as close." I shrug at her, still smiling, and watch as her face pales.

"O- oh, come on, Delilah. We were just kids. It was just some stupid fun, you know? I actually did really like you." She trails her hand down my arm to squeeze my hand and I try not to gag as I pull it away from her.

"No, you didn't. And that was fine. But tormenting me for having a stupid crush just because you thought it gave you some sort of ridiculous power wasn't. We're adults now and I've moved past it. I've moved past you. You should do the same. Have a good one, Madison." I grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him to the back of the store to get away from her.

He slotted his fingers through mine and didn't say a word until she was out of sight.

I let out a breath and started looking through the shoes without speaking. I saw Harry staring at me from my side and I looked at him. He was smiling.

"What?" I asked him.

"I'm proud of you. I wanted to scream at her for what she did to you but you handled it very maturely. I'm proud of you." He repeats and steps closer to me.

"Thank you. I mean it's in the past. I wasn't hung up on it or anything but I wasn't going to let her act like nothing happened. But hey, I got a number one song out of what she did to me, didn't I, sunshine?" I shrugged with a teasing smile on my face.

He only smiles at me and squeezes my hand as we continue looking around. I ended up finding one dress that was absurdly priced, but it was pretty and I deserved to treat myself, and Harry walked out with 10 bags this time.

That's progress, I guess.

Another two weeks passed and they were filled with the same things. Us going shopping, us going to lunch, us going shopping and going to lunch with Mitch and Sarah. I loved every second. We were good friends again, he was in my life and that was all I could ask for.

So, that's how the month passed. It was nearing February now, and I had to figure out how to give Harry a good birthday. He made mine the best day of my life so I had to try to do the same, even if we were just friends. But I had time for that later.

Right now, I was at Harry's house.

He had asked me to come over just to hang out and I was nervous. I hadn't been here in a while.

We were sitting on his living room floor, eating pizza and laughing like the past 5 months hadn't happened. But they did happen. And naturally my brain had to bring it up.

"I forgive you, you know." Harry's laughter dies down slowly, and he furrows his eyebrows.

"Really?"

I nod at him. "Yeah. I realized that there's no use being angry over it anymore. It sucked, but you apologized, and you explained it to me and that's all I could ever ask for. So, I forgive you." I finish with another nod.

"But why? I thought I was going to have to grovel a lot longer." Why is he complaining?

But I answer anyway, "Because I think we've learned from our past. These past months being alone helped us grow and I can't be mad at that." I pause. "Life is like an arrow, you know? It can only be shot forward by being pulled backwards. So whatever difficulties are or were dragging us back, that just means we're going to be launched towards something better. I hope."

He only stares with a soft smile before lifting his hand and brushing some of my hair behind my ears. "You really are wise beyond your years, honeybee."

His hand stays on my face, resting on my jaw, and we don't look away from each other, only small smiles on our faces. I can feel the atmosphere in the room shift and it's hot all of a sudden.

He starts leaning forward and my heart pounds against my ribcage when I feel his breath mix with mine. It's been too long. His soft lips press against mine and I intake a sharp breath. Home, home, home. Golden, golden, golden.

I move my hand to grip his forearm softly as our lips mold together, tongues tasting each other, and it's a lot hotter than before.

I break apart from the kiss, out of breath, "Take your clothes off."

"What?" He laughs loudly while his eyebrows raise.

"You heard me. Take your clothes off. Unless you'd like me to do it for you, I don't mind." And I brush my finger down his chest, hearing a sharp catch of his breath as I venture lower. I don't care how eager I sound. I missed him and I wanted him.

His cheeks are red and his green eyes are darkened. Like Christmas.

He scrambles and grabs the ends of his t-shirt, and it may be dark outside, but the fire of dawn lights a path as Harry strips his shirt off.

My eyes zero in on something unfamiliar on his shoulder. Two things next to each other. When I see what they are, I gasp. My eyes water and I look into his eyes. He looks nervous.

I run my fingers over it. "When did you get them?" I ask softly. I don't stop staring at the newly inked designs.

"Um, a week after I...after I-"

"Broke up with me." I finish for him and he nods once. "Harry, you can say it. It happened and it's in the past. All we can do is move on from it." I pause. "To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's own life. It is no less than a denial of the soul." And he smiles.

"Wilde." He whispers. I lean over to kiss him quickly before pulling away and running my fingers over the tattoos again.

"Why is the candle melting?" I ask. The honeybee is obvious and it was beautiful. I was curious about the candle.