A/N: Hi! This song is amazeballs and so is Lizzo, wbk!

Only like 3 or 4 chapters left btw :')

Enjoy! x

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I made it to the BB&T Center, and it was packed. I shouldn't be surprised, he deserved this.

Sarah and Mitch had arranged for me to get in around the back so no one would recognize me, and I was very grateful for it. I don't think I could deal with people calling me a whore for breaking up with Harry. Mainly because it wasn't true but also because I got enough of that from social media.

Once the driver parked, unfortunately not Barney, I hopped out and walked to where Sarah said she'd be waiting for me. I really hoped they told Harry I'd be coming because this would be super awkward. It'd probably be awkward either way, to be honest. And that made me frown.

I caught sight of her and hurried over, giving her a hug.

She smiles at me, "Hey, the opener is on right now but we're going on soon, come on!" She drags me further backstage and shows me where I'm going to be standing. It's a little pit area on the side where I can see the stage, but the crowd can't see me. It's perfect.

"Awesome, thank you. Hey, you did tell Harry I'd be com-"

"Right, gotta go, love you!" And she ran off.

Okay then.

After a few minutes, the lights went out and the crowd went wild. They were screaming and excited and it was beautiful to see the effect they had on people.

The band came out first and Sarah sent a wink my way, making me smile. The smile faltered when he came out, though.

He was beautiful, obviously, his hair had grown out a lot and his suit was gold with flowers of different shades of pink on it, a black dress shirt underneath. Beautiful.

It was bright and pretty, just like him.

He walked in the room with such confidence and I'd never heard people scream so loud. I understood their reaction.

My admiration didn't last long, though. I saw the smile on his face, and it made me think about how I wasn't the one who got to put it there anymore. No, someone else had that privilege now. And that was fine. It was his decision to end us and that was fine. Just fine.

He was still smiling as he scanned the crowd, waving at them as they cheered. He stayed smiling the entire time.

Until his eyes landed on me.

I watched his eyes widen quickly before regaining his composure and clearing his throat. So, Sarah and Mitch hadn't told him I was coming.

He introduced himself to the crowd and his velvety voice rang through the entire arena.

Hearing his voice after this long felt like finding water after searching the desert for days.

He opened with Golden and I had to distract myself by looking at the crowd so I wouldn't start crying.

He performed every single song wonderfully, casually sending unnerving glances my way. I couldn't tell if he was uncomfortable with me being here or just confused. I sent random thumbs up to Mitch and Sarah, and the rest of the band whenever they made eye contact. They truly knew how to put on a show.

But now the lights were on again, and the arena was clearing out. I blew out a nervous breath, knowing I had to see them all again. See him again.

As I got closer, I could make out everyone's shape. I couldn't see Harry, though. I pushed my ridiculous longing to see him aside and congratulated all of them on a great show. Adam was just telling me about his daughter when I heard a familiar voice clearing his throat behind me, everyone stopping their conversation, making the room eerily quiet.

I turned around slowly and held my breath when I saw him up close. Damn, I really did miss him.

I hate that.

He had a nervous expression and I watched him visibly pale once I turned all the way. Well, that's not a good reaction.

"It's really you." He whispered before clearing his throat and shaking his head. "What are you doing here?"

I feel sick. "Um, Sarah invited me. Sarah and Mitch. I was in Miami anyway, so..." I trailed off.

"Yeah, I saw."

He saw? What did that mean?

He doesn't speak for a minute before looking behind me. "Could we have some privacy, guys?" They all disperse way too quickly to be considered normal and it was only once they'd left that I felt the thick tension in the air.

He spoke first. "Hi."

"Hi back." It felt weirdly nostalgic saying that and he smiled at my response.

"You look good, Delilah." My name sounded foreign on his lips, I hadn't heard it in so long.

"Thanks." I state simply. "Good show." And, really, Delilah? That's what you choose to say?

He nods curtly. "Thanks."

We stand in uncomfortable silence for a while before he speaks again. "I've heard you've been selling your songs to a lot of people. And that you've been recording your own?"

I nod once.

"That's awesome, hon- Delilah." He shakes his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I only scoff, "Because you didn't deserve to know." I cringe at my harsh tone. I was never good at biting my tongue, especially if I was angry. And right now, I was. He had no right to act like he deserved to know anything about me.

He nods. "You're right. Well, I'm happy for you. You deserve all of it."

I agreed with him and nodded back, "Yeah, I do." And I see his lips quirk up at my confidence.

This was so awkward. We were never awkward. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this-

"Well, I should get going." He moves to pick up a bag and I don't hide my shock. He hasn't seen me in months and he's ready to leave after a two-minute conversation? Could you even call this a conversation?

But that's when I remembered. Of course he wanted to leave. Why hang around an awkward ex-girlfriend when he had a shiny new one at home?

I didn't let my bothersome feelings show. I'd gotten over comparing myself to people. I was amazing all on my own. But it was the fact that he was so nonchalant about it that sucked.

But I let him leave. No need to cry over spilled milk. "Right. Bye." And I turned to go outside.

"Wait, Delilah." I stopped in my tracks and face him again. He shrugs, "Could I...could I text you sometime?"

What the fuck? I shake my head at him and feel my chest hurt. "I- I don't think that's such a good idea, Harry."

And I leave, catching a glimpse of his face falling.

†

But he did it anyway. It was a week after the concert, New Year's Eve, and I planned on getting piss drunk at a club. My Abuela and Abuelo were going to a party that their friends were hosting, and I didn't want to be alone.

I had just finished washing my hair when my phone chimed, I almost dropped it when I saw who it was from.

I'd been sitting in bed for an hour now, just staring at it. We were always together when we were dating that we had rarely ever felt the need to text. Did he always sign his texts like that, or did he just assume I had deleted his number?

I didn't respond to it. I pushed the text and him out of my mind. I was wearing a dress that made me feel sexy and confident and I wasn't going to let anything take away from that. Tonight, I was going to have fun.

†

I made it to the club, and everyone seemed to be having fun. It was past 11 o'clock and I wanted to start drinking immediately. I planted myself on a stool at the bar and ordered shots, shots, and more shots. I tossed them back quickly and swayed in my seat to the music. No one seemed to recognize me, and I was grateful for the lack of lights in here.

After a while, a song I liked came on, so I hopped off my stool, wobbling a bit, before walking to the dancefloor. It was full of sweaty bodies and people pressed up against each other. I made my way to the middle of it and it wasn't long before I felt a pair of hands on my waist.

I turned around and saw a woman, a stunning woman with black hair and piercing blue eyes, staring at me like I was a wet dream come true. And to be honest, I felt like one.

I let her pull my front closer to hers and we danced to the music, smiling at each other, passing flirting glances, not speaking a word.

Soon, the music was lowered, and people started counting down. She was only a couple of inches taller than me, but she still bent her neck and her eyes seemed to be asking permission. I didn't think, I only nodded at her.

Her lips were hovering over mine and I felt her breath mix with mine as she whispered, "3...2...1..." And she pressed her lips to mine as I heard, "Happy New Year!" ring out several times around us.

Well, at least I had a New Year's kiss.

We pulled back smiling at each other and continued dancing for a bit until she bent towards my ear, "Do you want to get out of here?"

And why the hell not?

†

I woke up in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room, and with an unfamiliar person wrapped around me.

I wasn't so drunk last night that I didn't remember what happened, but some things were still a bit fuzzy. I slowly removed her arm that was wrapped around me and the sound of her light breathing calmed me as I got out of the bed and tried putting on my clothes quietly. I'm the clumsiest person though, so I fell the second I tried to put on my dress.

She woke up quickly. Lexi, was it? She rubbed her eyes and smiled widely at me, "Good morning."

"Um, hi." I straighten up, pulling my dress all the way up and zipping it.

"Do you want breakfast?" She asked me.

I quirked my eyebrow. I'd never had a one-night stand before, but I was pretty sure breakfast wasn't part of the protocol. But she seemed nice enough.

She was quite considerate. I'd learned that last night.

"Oh. Sure. Thank you." I smiled at her.

She smiled back and stood up completely naked before slipping on clothes. My cheeks were hot, and I averted my eyes.

"Oh, it's nothing you haven't seen before." She teases. And it was then that I decided I liked her.

We make our way to her kitchen and I sit at one of the stools while she starts grabbing pots and pans. It's an awkward silence before she speaks.

"You're Delilah Quinn, right?"

I raise my eyebrows. "Uh, yeah. That's me." She nodded.

"Cool. I feel like I should tell you, though. There were a lot of cameras taking pictures of us when we left the club. I tried to cover us as much as I could and they didn't follow us back here but I didn't know if you remembered so I thought I should tell you."

Shit. I wasn't in the closet, but I also wasn't exactly out yet. I pondered it for a moment before realizing I didn't care. I shrugged at her. "Oh, well."

She smiles at that. "I like you, Delilah. I think we're going to get along great."

My face heats again. "Um, I think I should probably tell you that last night-"

"Was a one-time thing?" She interrupts, her tone calm.

I slowly nod at her and she smiles. "Cool. That's all I wanted. I just think you're a dope chick."

And yeah, I really liked Lexi. She was nice and she made kick-ass waffles.

†

I was back at my grandparents' house and I tried really hard not to check social media. But I wanted to see how bad the pictures were.

So, I checked. They weren't too bad, honestly, but it definitely looked like I was going home with her for more than a nightcap. We looked good though, so I didn't let it bother me. Men left clubs with different women on their arms all the time. So what if I did?

My phone chimed and my heart hammered in my chest. It was another text from Harry.

He had to have seen the pictures. There's no way he didn't. My name was trending with his, for God's sake.

I decided to respond this time.

thank you. same to you, harry.

There. Simple, but effective. I didn't want him to text me, though. I wanted him to say it to my face.

I was sitting on my bed and decided to grab my journal and start writing as different lyrics came to me.

"Why are men great 'til they gotta be great? Don't text me, tell it straight to my face."

I bite the tip of my pen. That's a good start for a chorus. I decide to write the chorus as it comes to me.

"I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that bitch. Even when I'm crying crazy. Yeah, I got boy problems, that's the human in me. Bling bling, then I solve 'em, that's the goddess in me. You could've had a bad bitch, non-committal. Help you with your career just a little. You're 'posed to hold me down, but you're holding me back. And that's the sound of me not calling you back."

Yeah, I really liked that. I repeated the chorus and continued adding more and more to it. I recorded a voice memo and sent it to Jeff to see what he thought.

I was just about to put my phone down, when it started ringing, showing Seb was calling me. "Hello?"

"Check Twitter right now." And then he hung up.

I furrowed my eyebrows and logged onto Twitter on my laptop. My eyes widened.

There were three different trends right now. One about me leaving the club with Lexi, something called Baby Honey, and finally, Harry Styles leaves girlfriend, Ilanna Crowe's, house looking angry, but handsome as ever.

I didn't care about the first one, I didn't understand the second one, and the third one made my eyebrows furrow. I clicked on an article and read that Harry had walked out of her house really angry and ignored Ilanna's shouts for him to stay. Why did Seb need for me to read this?

I called him to ask and it's like he already knew. He sighed, "Keep reading, Delilah!" And then he hung up again.

Styles' ex-girlfriend's name, singer and songwriter, Delilah Quinn, could be heard being shouted from inside the house.

Um, what the fuck? I called Seb again and he answered with another sigh. "Seb, what the hell does any of this mean?"

"Well, I don't know, Delilah. Maybe the fact that you left a club with a girl on your arm and obviously went home with her. And maybe that made your idiot of an ex-boyfriend realize what he lost, and he dumped his current girlfriend."

I couldn't help but let out a loud laugh at his words. "Yeah, okay. Sure, Seb. Even if that were true, which it isn't, I wouldn't care. I'm nobody's second choice. He wanted her, not me. That's on him."

Seb doesn't speak for a moment. "Yeah, you're right. God, I'm so proud of you. But at least look up what Baby Honey is. It's a song of his and the lyrics got leaked."

"Uh, okay. Thank you. Love you."

He returns it and before I can even hang up, I get an incoming call from Sarah.

What the hell is going on today?

"Hello?"

"Delilah! Have you checked Twitter today?" She asks hurriedly.

"Yeah, I did. Why?"

She squeals. "Well?"

I pause in confusion. "Well, what?"

She squeals again. "He broke up with her! What if he wants to-"

"Sarah, stop. I don't care if he broke up with her." I soften my tone. "If he broke up with her then my condolences to them, I guess. It's none of my business."

She sighs. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. It's just that when I heard your name I got so happy...It doesn't matter. You're happy and that's all that matters. I saw those pictures of you leaving a club with some girl." She giggles, "You guys looked so good, I didn't know who I was more jealous of." And I can just imagine her wiggling her eyebrows.

I laugh, "Thanks, Sarah. It was just a one-time thing. She was nice and she was fun. I needed nice and I needed fun."

"Well, I'm glad. Sorry again about before. Do me a favor, though, and look up Baby Honey."

"It's fine, S. And Seb told me to look at that, too." I start typing it on my laptop. "What's so important about it?"

"Just read whatever lyrics you find."

The page fully loads, and I read the lyrics that came up.

"Went down to California, burned my skin inside and out. Trying to imagine the right form of cutting loose, the one you'd talked about."

I furrow my eyebrows.

"I could've seen the way you got when I started to get close. The most painful type of lover, baby honey where'd you go? Baby honey, was it me? Baby honey, not sick not sweet. Baby honey, let me know. Baby honey, left me alone."

"Did you read them?" Sarah asks.

"Um, yeah. I still don't get it."

"Ugh!" She groans. "Delilah, what were the only two nicknames he ever called you?"

"Honeybee and baby, I guess?"

"Hm, and how strange that he wrote a song called Baby Honey, almost like a mix of the two, that talks about trying to get over someone they loved and wondering why they aren't together anymore." She teased.

"Then it can't be about me, S. Because he knows why we aren't together anymore. He's the reason why." I remind her. And it's true. He broke up with me for a dumb reason. I didn't do anything wrong.

"I know that. But he probably saw it differently, D. He saw it as doing you a favor and letting you go so you could make all your dreams come true." She tells me excitedly.

"He was my only dream, Sarah. And when he left, I woke up. He wasn't doing anyone any favors. I told him that six months ago and I still mean it now. I don't care that he broke up with his girlfriend. The second he got with her, he proved our relationship was nothing. Just another experience. 'Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes', you know?" I hadn't quoted Wilde since Harry broke up with me. It felt weird saying it to someone other than him.

"Uh, no. I don't know. But, D, I get that. Trust me when I say I get that. But you weren't just an experience for him. Anyone with functioning eyes could see that. He just let his insecurities cloud his judgement and I genuinely think he thought he was doing what was best for you." She tells me.

"Well, let's say that's true. Why'd he get with someone else? And why'd he do it less than a month after he ended us? That's not something you do, Sarah."