We're working on it. It's not easy but we are, and the fights, we're slowly learning how to avoid them and how to work on our shit together. I know we both have made mistakes, and I'm really trying to make this work for us, I want too.

I'm sitting at the dinner table with Maddie doing her homework and Jax isn't here. He was supposed to be back around five, but he had to stay late at work with one of his clients, and I'm not upset. I'm learning to trust Jax, and if he told me it's an overweight man with goals of weight loss, I believe him.

"I don't get this!" Maddie exclaims just like Jax when he's frustrated. She slaps her pencil down and rubs her hands through her hair as I stop here from pulling out her brown locks.

It's math, and I love Maddie but math is going to kill her in high school. She's stuck on long division right now, and she's only in third grade. Math was never my best, but I managed to get through it, and I know she will too. If not Jax can help her because he's better at math than anyone else I know, he's got the mind for it. I was surprised to learn that he was the only one in his high school that passed AP calculus when he was a senior, he's a smart guy but didn't want people to know it.

"Baby what do you not get? You take the bigger number, so for the problem it asks how many times five goes into thirty. So thirty goes under the house and five goes outside of it. Go off to the side and do your multiplication tables of five. Five times what gives you thirty?" I ask her.

"Mama I don't know!" She tells me as I sigh. Yes you do. What's five plus five?" I ask as she starts, "Ten" she tells me.

"Good. So you have five twice right? So that would be five times two" I tell her as she sighs looking at the paper. "So you need five how many times to get thirty?" She asks as I smile.

"Yes baby. Five times three means five three times. So fifteen, then five four times gives you twenty, then five five times gives you twenty five, so five six times would give you thirty." I tell her as she sighs.

"Mama I don't get how that has anything to do with this division." She tells me as I take the pencil from her. "Because you multiply the five and six to get thirty, so thirty divided by six would be five, and thirty divided by five would be six." I tell her as she instantly starts bawling tears.

"I don't know!" She tells me storming off to her bedroom leaving her homework on the table. She always gets herself frustrated when she doesn't understand something. She's a little perfectionist and I know she only wants to do her best. But lately she's been upset about something more, I know it.

I sigh and close her notebook before looking over at the boys playing video games. Of course it's baseball but what can I do, I'm just happy they're not being too rough with each other and rolling in the mud. That way I don't have more clothes to wash this week, that makes me a great mom, worried about laundry, I laugh to myself.

"Boys I'll be right back. Dad should be here in a few minutes." I tell them as they nod paying me absolutely no attention.

I sigh at my thoughts before moving to the stairs and taking the hike up them. I find Maddie's room and tap on the door for a few seconds before I open it and see her sitting in her window seat bawling her little eyes out.

"Baby what's really wrong?" I ask her as I close the door and lock it. "Look the doors locked, the boys are downstairs and it's just me. You know you can tell me anything that's going on Mad." I tell her as I walk over. She looks up and I see her little wet eyes before she stands up and comes to me. I wrap my arms around her and sit down on the bed before I kiss her head.

"What's going on?" I ask as I rub her back.

"I hate school." She tells me as I hold her. "Why?" I ask.

"Because everyone looks at me funny. I'm bigger than all the boys and I feel like a boy because of how tall I am. I'm a foot taller than everyone mama." She tells me as I rub her back. I didn't have this issue and I don't know how to fix it. But I know her confidence is probably gone since she's so tall and all the girls in her grade aren't.

Jax could help with this, not me. Maddie's a mini version of me, she is, but I've never been tall like her. She's a foot taller than every girl in her class and she's so skinny that people worry about her. But it's because she grows like crazy, and I have no doubt she'll be five foot ten or taller when she's full grown.

"Baby, you're beautiful." I whisper into her hair.

"I'm not! I look like dad! I look like a man! Everyone tells me I look like him! I look like a gigantic giant!" She exclaims balling her little eyes out.

"Maddie you do but you don't look like him in that aspect. Just your face and your eyes baby, not the parts of you that make you a girl. You know how Lance looks like me a lot? That doesn't make him a girl, it just means he looks like me. And so what? It doesn't matter what people think of you, only what you think of yourself. Maddie you're beautiful." I tell her trying to calm her down but it doesn't work.

"But you don't get it." She tells me flipping around to hug her knees instead of me. I'm so thankful when small taps on the other side of her door start.

"Mad's it's daddy, can I come in?" He asks as she looks up at me. "Talk to him about it. You know how big daddy is, he's huge. You think he's always had big shoulders and a huge chest? He hasn't. He used to be smaller, and he learned how to make himself feel better by learning to embrace who he is." I tell her rubbing her face and tears in my hands.

"Okay" she whispers as I kiss her cheek. "I'll be downstairs when you need me. I love you, and I will always love you, no matter what." I whisper to her before standing up and walking to the door. I unlock it and open it to see a very concerned Jax on the other side.

"Hey baby, the boys said she stormed off." He tells me as I nod. "Let her tell you." I whisper to him as he nods without Maddie noticing. He leans down and kisses my lips softly before I realize what he's doing. We haven't kissed in front of our kids in years, and he just does it without being phased.

He pulls away and rubs my back before walking into the room as I walk out and shut her door. I just hope he'll know what to do.

"Alright what's going on?" I ask pulling her knees from covering her face. I pull her to me and sit her on my thigh before rubbing her back and making her look at me. I knew something wasn't right when I came home and the boys were sitting quietly playing video games. I knew that something was either up with Rylee or Maddie.

"Nothing." She whispers in my neck as I pull her little jaw in my hand delicately. I pull up my sleeve and wipe her snotty nose as she continues crying.

"What's going on?" I ask again sternly. And she tells me, everything about school, math, and how she feels about herself.

"You know I'll help you with math Maddie. It's really not that bad once you get it." I tell her as she sighs.

"But what about me? Why do I look like you?" She asks as I sigh. "Because daddy's hot." I tell her as she laughs.

"I think you're beautiful Maddie. Just like you should, because being tall isn't a curse or something. It's what makes you different. In a really good way, because people look at me and immediately are intimidated. Even your mom was when we first met, but once they get to know me I prove them wrong. Think about it like this, when you see a tall girl, do you think she looks like a man or odd?" I ask as she shakes her head no.

"Then why would people see that in you?" I ask.

"Because I look like you. You're a boy." She tells me as I sigh. "People don't know that. To me you look like your mom, you just have my hair color baby." I tell her rubbing her back.

"I don't know." She whispers as I kiss her head.

"You know I'm right. You're beautiful, which is why daddy's having this talk with you right now, the boys will get taller than you one day. And when they realize how pretty you are, they'll start wanting to be your friend. But immediately say no, don't let them. Boys are bad, no boyfriends." I tell her making her laugh.

"I already have a boyfriend named Paxton." She tells me as my heart hits my ass. "What?!" I ask as she nods.

"He's in fourth grade daddy! And he plays baseball we're the same height!" She tells me as I sigh. What the fuck?

"And when was I supposed to find out? Does your mom know?" I ask as she shakes her head no. "It's a secret" she tells me as I palm my forehead.

"Nope. You don't have a boyfriend. He's your friend that's a boy. That's it. No boyfriends until you're eighteen." I tell her as she pales.

"But that's in ten years!!" She exclaims. "Well look don't you know your subtraction rules well so division shouldn't be too bad. Come on, let's go do that homework." I tell her standing up and pulling her into my arms.

"You know I love you." I tell her as she nods. "Love you too daddy" she tells me as I pull her downstairs with me. When I walk back into the kitchen Rylee's got both the boys helping her cook which makes me smile and that's when I realize I've got my family back.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.