Sitting down at the restaurant with Evan makes me smile. He holds the small of my back before slipping my chair out and pushing me under the table. He sits in front of me before unbuttoning his suit jacket and asking for wine. I've never been to a place this fancy and I'm not sure how to act.

Especially not when we're seated at the nicest table in the restaurant. The waiters are all wearing tuxedos and I'm so glad I dressed up because I know my normal attire of a tank top and mom jeans would not fit in here.

"Thank you." I whisper to him as he adjusts the cuffs around his wrists.

"Not a problem." He whispers back looking around the restaurant. "I see these men find you attractive." He tells me as I look over my shoulder and laugh at the older men looking at me. Evan waves to a few of the casually as they look away making me laugh.

"Business partners." He whispers as I nod. I watch Evan pick up the menu and scan it before looking back at me and catching my eye.

"What is it?" He asks as I look back to the females in the restaurant. They're looking at him too.

"I've never been somewhere like this," I tell him as he smiles. "Well, I'm glad I'm your first. Do you need me to interpret the menu?" He asks as I smile.

"Probably," I tell him honestly as he nods. I already have no clue what the fuck this menu says and I'm hoping they have chicken tenders so that I can get something that won't make me sick to my stomach from how nervous I am.

"Well, I happen to know the chef, so if you want chicken strips I'm sure they have them." He tells me at the end reading my mind as I smile.

"You know the way to my heart then." I tell him as he smiles. The waiter comes over and I order the chicken strips while Evan orders a filet mignon.

"Okay. So tell me more about you RJ." He starts while taking a sip of wine and adjusting his watch.

"Okay. I'm twenty nine, and I love my job and kids. That's me." I tell him bluntly as he laughs. "I'm gonna to need a little more than that for me to take you on another date." He tells me as I laugh.

"Another one?" I ask as he nods instantly. "With you? Absolutely" he tells me as I laugh.

"I was born and raised in Florida near the beach. I moved to Georgia for college and I loved it here so I didn't want to leave. I moved to Atlanta with my ex boyfriend from years ago because I thought I was going to marry him after I graduated. Turns out I met Jax soon after that and my life kind of fell into loving him instead of my cheating boyfriend. So Jax and I started seeing each other and moved in together before Maddie happened surprising both of us. We loved each other, and I can fully say that we did. We were just so young I don't think we knew what we were doing at the time. Then accident number two named Lance, and accident number three named Kurt happened, but to be honest we weren't exactly preventing it. I will always love Jax, he's the father to my kids, but he broke my heart in half when he left." I tell Evan my whole story as he listens. I try my hardest not to cry when I look down at my bare hand and then back up at Evan.

"Your turn." I whisper looking into his eyes. I don't feel guilty for being here, but I love his ex wife, she's amazing. Isabelle and I have been for coffee many times to get our minds off of things and we really do get along making the girls really happy.

"Honestly?" He asks as I nod. "I grew up dirt poor and I knew I wanted more out of my life than that. I took out loans to go to college, and then got me a big boy job, three of them, that way I could pay it back, afford rent, and start building my investments. After five years of kicking my own ass it worked and I started my own investment tree. I married Isabelle that same year and she got pregnant with Izzy soon after. We just didn't work." He tells me clearing his throat as I stare into his face.

"Why didn't y'all work? I love Isabelle, I think she's amazing." I tell him as he nods. "I do as well. I think she's an amazing mom and I'll always love her. But she thought I spent too much time at work and I thought she spent too much time with the lawn maintenance crew." He tells me as my face pales.

She didn't. "Oh my god, Evan." I whisper as he nods. "Came home, found her in a compromising position with two of them. Don't think any different of her though because we don't discuss what happened, not for Izzy's sake. We were on the rocks already and that pushed me over. So I went to the strip club that night and slept with a woman to get back at her. It ended up hurting us both more and we knew our marriage was over." He tells me as I reach out and rub his hand.

"Thank you for telling me. Really, I'm sorry to hear that." I whisper as he nods. "It's the past, I'm not worried about it anymore. I'm looking at the future." He tells me winking as I blush.

"We'll see about that." I tell him back as he rubs my hand in his. I'm so glad I decided to get my nails done that look amazing, because him holding my hand feels so good. It's like I finally have someone again and I really love that I do.

So for the next two hours we're eating in the restaurant and we don't even realize how long it is until we're some of the only ones left. And I don't mind, I enjoy my night.

____

When Evan walks me to the door of my house I expect something different. But nothing different happens. He holds the small of my back as I open my front door and he stops at the doorway and doesn't come in as I walk through.

I turn back when he stares at me and smiles. "I had a really great time with you tonight." I whisper to him as he smiles. "I'm glad." He tells me reaching for my hand as he kisses the back of it. I blush when he pulls it away and I shock myself when I get closer to him and place my hands on his shoulders.

I grab his vest and adjust it before I lean closer onto my tippy toes to his face. I'm about to kiss him when my phone starts ringing loudly from my clutch. "Ignore it." He whispers making me laugh as he reaches out to hold my hips in his hands. He pulls me closer to his body as I grab his face and rub his jaw.

The ringing stops as we lean closer to each other, so much that I feel his lips softly breathing the same air as me. He smiles into my lips as he leans down and kisses me. And that fucks it all up, right there.

He's so good at kissing, almost too good and that throws me off. I kiss him back when he holds my hair in his hand deepening our kiss. But it feels so wrong, and I instantly pull away when his tongue slips into my mouth. I just don't feel like I thought I would, it's nice, so nice to be kissed, but it doesn't feel like it used to with Jax. With Jax just touching his lips set me on fire, but with Evan it just feels wrong.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Sorry." I whisper hearing my phone go off again as I pull away and look over at it. I'm using it as a cover so it works well. It's Jax, and I look back at Evan as he nods.

"It's okay." He tells me stepping to me as he kisses my cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow maybe? Lunch?" He asks as I nod. "Okay." I whisper back as he leans down and kisses me again. He rubs my back in his palm as I rub his chest in unison.

"Have a good night RJ." He whispers as I smile and rub his neck. "You too." I whisper back to him as he steps off leaving. I close my door when he gets into his car and drives out of the gate.

My phone won't stop ringing so I lean down grabbing it as I quickly answer. "What?" I ask Jax immediately. He's not even here and he's still fucking up my life.

"Ry, Where the fuck are you? You had me worried" He spits into the phone. "I'm home now why does it matter?" I ask immediately as he sighs.

"Look at the news. You better answer your damn phone next time you give me a heart attack." He spits out hanging up as I pull away. Not giving a fuck to call him back I immediately walk into the living room and cut on the local news.

And when I do my heart aches. A woman was found, in a red dress, that drives the same car as I do, dead. She ran into a tree after swerving not to hit a deer and it killed her. I see a body bag and I hurt when I think about it.

Jax thought it was me. I hold my chest as I dial his number trying to call him back. He answers on the third ring when I hear the boys in the background. "Jax I'm fine. I had no idea." I tell him as he sighs.

"Now do you understand why I wanted to know where you went? Ry I can't lose you, the kids can't lose you." He whispers to me as I sigh. He's right.

"I'm sorry okay? I went on a date." I answer him. "Ry we're still married." He tells me back as I shake my head no. This is the most civil conversation we've had in years.

"Legally yes, any other way no. We aren't. Please just sign the divorce papers." I whisper as I calmly remove my heels.

"I don't want to and deep down you don't want to either. We need to talk before that happens." He tells me as I sigh.

"I don't need to talk to you. I know what I want to do." I spit out sitting down on the couch after taking Maddie's stuffed dog into my lap so that I could sit.

"Just talk. That's it, and if you still want to legally start the process we'll do it. After we talk." He tells me as I feel tears whelp in my eyes. Why couldn't he have been this calm about our marriage years ago? He's so bipolar that I can't keep him straight.

"Fine. When?" I ask taking out my earrings.

"Tomorrow. Lunch." He tells me as I sigh. "No, I can't do that. I have plans." I respond back as he cuts me off. "What's more important? Us or that?" He asks referring to Evan.

"Fine. Meet me here when the kids are at school." I sit out hanging the phone up without saying anything else.

Fuck my life.