Note: The title of this chapter is from Taylor Swift's poem, "Why She Disappeared".

He couldn't fucking wait to see her. He'd never craved a person like this before. It had been over a week since they had been able to see each other. She had been traveling to different gigs, and he hadn't been able to get away from work long enough to come along for any of them. The distance had been workable thus far, but as they got more serious, it became more challenging. He wanted her there all the time.

The things I'm going to do to her , he thought with a shudder.

His family was taking a holiday together, and his mother had suggested that MC come along. A meaningful gesture on her part. They had rented out a beach house for 4 days. MC was thrilled to be included, so carved out some time, which resulted in a packed schedule both before and after the trip. Noah couldn't wait to get 4 uninterrupted days with her. He wouldn't have normally chosen a trip with his mom and siblings for their first holiday together, but he'd take any opportunity he got.

His heart quickened when he saw her text that she was pulling up. He came outside to greet her. His breath hitched when he saw her pull up. Her music was blaring, her hair pulled up wildly on top of her head, sunglasses obscuring her face. He couldn't help but smile goofily at her, giddy with anticipation. He wrapped her in his arms and squeezed her tight before she could even close the car door.

"I missed you so much," she said, her voice a little thick. She sniffled.

" So much" he agreed. "Everything okay?"

"Yes! I'm such a melt. I'm just so excited to see you! I guess I feel a little overwhelmed."

He pulled her close again, and gave her a flurry of little kisses all over her face, trying to make her smile, but feeling similarly overwhelmed by the need to drink her in. She snorted with laughter, and they stood there holding each other for a little while longer, sighing happily.

"We've got 4 whole days to enjoy each other!" he beamed.

"So needed! Should we head inside? Is your family here already?"

They went inside and MC greeted Karen, Anna, and Simon with enthusiastic hugs. They chatted a bit before Karen said, "Noah, help MC with her bags. You can put them in the same room with Anna. And you'll be staying with Simon."

Noah stared, open-mouthed at her. "Er, what?"

"You and Simon will be sharing a room. Anna and MC will be sharing a room."

"I thought...I mean, really? I'm 26 years old."

"Noah," she said decisively, "I've seen the show and I know what kind of shenanigans you get up to unsupervised. And I'm not ready to be a nan yet." She gave Noah a pointed look. Blessedly, she did not look at MC, who was blushing furiously. "Now, if you were engaged, then that would be another story."

"MUM!" Anna and Simon shouted in unison, horrified.

"I'm just making my policies clear!" Karen said, smiling, throwing up her hands. "Now, go! Help MC!"

Noah shook his head as he grabbed her bags and walked away. When they got to Anna's room, MC turned to him. "I'm going to go crawl in a hole and die now, ok?"

"I'm so sorry that was so awkward. I hadn't realized she would make us sleep in separate rooms, although, knowing her, I should have seen it coming. You're the only girl I've ever had come along with me for a family holiday."

"Oh well that's sweet," she said, looking up at Noah through her eyelashes and stepping closer. She hooked her fingers through the front two belt loops on his pants and tugged him closer.

He threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck and pulled lightly, angling her face towards his. He leaned down and gave her a slow, hot kiss. As their tongues found each other, she tucked her fingers under his waistband and ran her thumbs along his rigid abdomen. Every touch felt electric after so much time apart. He wanted to rip her clothes off.

"Oh no," he said, awareness dawning on him. "Four days. Sleeping in different rooms. How are we going to...." he looked at her with fire in his eyes.

"We'll have to figure something out. A girl's got needs." She slid a hand under his shirt, up his stomach and over his chest. She badly wanted to feel his skin. She leaned into his chest, breathing in the scent of his cologne. It felt melodramatic, as really only a few days had passed, but it was so nice to be close to him again. Her body was blooming in response.

"We're not going to have any trouble out of you two, are we?" Anna's voice startled them and they jumped apart.

"Get out of here, Anna!" Noah groaned.

"This is my room! You get out!"

"We'll both get out," MC interjected. "Babe, you want to go walk down to the beach?"

"Ooh, I wanna come!" Anna chirped.

"No" Noah snapped.

"Noah!" MC said disapprovingly, "Of course, you can come, Anna. Let's go!"

The beach was beautiful, and Anna and MC were entertaining to watch together, playing off one another's enthusiasm. Plus it gave Noah the opportunity to scope out potential places he could sneak off to with MC. Mostly it was just open stretches of sand dotted with houses. Was there an outdoor shower at the house? He flashed back to the villa and the complete lack of privacy. He felt almost pouty.

That evening, they all watched a movie together and MC made things worse by resting her hand too high on his thigh under the blanket. At bedtime, he said a frustrated goodnight and headed to his shared room with Simon.

The next morning, Noah found MC rummaging through the kitchen. She was wearing a tank top and yoga pants. Those damn yoga pants , he thought as he stared at her ass. She turned around to greet him with a big smile. Her hair was wavy and wild. He could see her nipples poking against the thin material of her shirt. He swallowed hard.

"You okay?" she asked, noticing the odd look on his face.

"Yeah, it's just..." he gestured at her, looking her up and down. "all of this." He shook his head, as though trying to clear it.

"Yeah I'm looking a little unpolished this morning." She frowned, putting her hand to head and running her fingers through her hair. "Actually, I was wondering if you would braid my hair for me? I'd like it up for when we go to the beach." This was only partly true. MC could braid her own hair, but she wanted to be touched by him. Wanted the closeness.

They moved to the living room and he sat on the couch. She sat between his legs on the floor in front of him. She closed her eyes while he worked. His touch was so gentle, as he gathered small strands of hair from the nape of her neck. At one point, she shuddered under his touch, her arms erupting in goosebumps. She placed her hands on his bare shins, grazing her fingers along his skin, feeling the muscles underneath tense.

"Okay, you're done, " he said as he finished, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing them. She leaned back into him, pressing into the space between his thighs. He leaned forward over her, his lips close to her ear, moving his hands further down her chest, but stopping just above the hem of her tank top, and running them back up to her shoulders and down her arms.

"Can we, please, find some time to be alone today?" he whispered in her ear.

Her lips curled into a smile. She knew he wanted her badly, and she loved it. She stood up, facing him, her cleavage on magnificent display as she leaned down and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Thanks for braiding my hair." She winked at him, and walked out of the room.

They spent the day on the beach, enjoying a lazy day. Simon spent most of his time out in the water swimming, while Karen, Anna, and MC chatted on the beach. Noah was stretched out on his stomach, reading a book.

Karen announced that she was going to head back to the house for a bit to get lunch. Anna joined her.

"I think I'm going to go get in the water for a bit. Want to come with me, babe?" MC asked Noah.

"Sure, let me finish this page and I'll head down."

MC trotted down the beach towards the water. Noah watched her walk away. She was wearing a green string bikini that rested high on her hips, and barely covered her otherwise. Perfect for sunbathing, and perfect for eliciting inappropriate thoughts in the presence of his family. He began following her down to the water, and he noticed Simon walking back up from his swim. MC gave him a little wave and he smiled at her. After he walked past her, he looked back over his shoulder, watching her bounce down the slope.

"Oi!" Noah shouted at him. "Don't gawk."

"Sorry, brother. I'll try." He smiled slyly.

"Perv." Noah clapped him on the shoulder as he passed him. He bristled as he waded into the water. It was silly, but wanting her so badly, not being able to have her, exhausted by the time apart, he felt territorial over her. He wanted her to himself, and he wanted Simon to keep his damn looks to himself.

"Hey there," she smiled at Noah, bobbing up and down in the shoulder-deep water. The waves lapped gently against them. Noah looked back up at the shore. Simon was a small dot from this distance. There was no sight of his mother or Anna. He pushed through the water, and pulled her toward him. She draped her arms over his shoulders, and a wave bumped them together, their hips crashing together. She lifted her legs and hooked them around him. He groaned at the contact, and felt himself harden. He teased at the tie on the back of her bikini. "This is a nice little spot."

She squeezed her legs around him, pulling him closer to her, and pulled him down to kiss her. As it was their first chance that day to kiss in earnest, with the cover of the water, things heated up quickly. Noah slipped his hand under bikini, grabbing her breast, squeezing it hard. She reached her hand down between their bodies, and put her hand down his swim trunks. The water allowed her to slide easily over his cock. She quickened her pace. He reached his hand between her legs, pulling the fabric of her bikini to the side. She moved to pull him inside her, when a large wave hit them, knocking them apart.

"Fuck!" Noah shouted.

She was panting, her eyes toward the shore. "Your mom and sister are back."

"Fuck!" he cried out again. "This is torture."

"Don't worry, babe. We'll figure something out. And if not, well, we can just stay in bed for a week straight after we get home."

"Whose home? I don't even know when we're going to see each other next after this trip." There was an edge to his voice. Their current circumstances weren't enough for him anymore. He wanted more.

"I know," she said, sadly. "I've missed you. The distance only seems to get harder and harder."

He drifted back over to her, pulling her close again. "I may have to propose to you on this trip, just so I can fuck you."

"Aww, hun! What a romantic story to tell our kids!" she teased. "But, it's not the worst plan. I would definitely think about letting you see me naked if you proposed."

He bit his lip, looking her over. "I'll consider it, then."

She laughed, throwing her head back. "Should we go back in?"

He looked down. "I, uh, think I need another minute...before I can be presentable."

The rest of the vacation carried on similarly. A lovely, frustrating holiday, with not enough sex. Not any sex. His mood was souring more and more as the days progressed. MC had left him to take a nap, and he decided to distract himself from the fact that he couldn't join her by making a cuppa. Karen joined him in the kitchen, sitting at the table, noticing the surly expression on his face.

"Noah," she said cautiously, as he roughly slammed the kettle down on the burner. "I can't help but notice that you've been a bit...unpleasant as of late."

He looked up at her in surprise. "Huh? Oh, sorry, Mum." He shook his head distractedly. "You want a cuppa?"

"That would be nice, thanks." She smiled internally at her sweet boy. Still thinking of his mum, even in his foul mood. He had always been like that. "Are you and MC having a nice time?"

"Oh yeah, Mum. This has been great. Thank you so much for planning this trip, and for inviting MC." His tone was chipper, but Karen could tell it was forced.

"But?"

He frowned. "I guess the distance is getting to me. I don't know when I'm going to see MC again after this trip. I'm dreading more time apart."

She looked at her son softly, allowing the silence to continue, knowing that's what he needed. He was clearly working something out in his mind.

He placed her tea in front of her, and sat down, cupping his own in his hands, brow furrowed. There was a thought nagging him.

"Mum...I know you were just joking about the engagement thing, but..." he risked a nervous look up at her. "How soon do you think..." He looked back down at his tea. "How soon is too soon? I mean, how do I know if it's the right time..."

Karen's heart ached. She had watched him grow into a wonderful person, and she knew one day he'd meet someone he wanted to dedicate his life to. He was the dedicated type. And here he was, confiding in her about it. "What about asking her to move in with you?"

Noah spoke quietly. "I've thought about that. But it doesn't feel like enough. I want something stronger. I want to be tied to her."

Karen reached out to him and squeezed his hand. "Noah, I don't have the best track record on these things, so I'm not sure if I'm the best to say. Only you can know what will make you happy." He smiled and squeezed her hand back. "Let me ask you, did you ever feel this way with Hope?"

"Never."

"Well, that's something to consider," she said, shrugging.

Noah smiled appreciatively at his mother. "Thanks for the chat, Mum."

On their last night, they sat around the tv, watching some mindless rom-com with Anna, Simon, and Karen.

"Why are we watching this crap?" Noah grumbled.

"Be quiet! You have been in such a mood this whole trip. Can we just enjoy ourselves?" Anna snapped at him.

Noah rolled his eyes, but didn't reply. MC stifled a laugh, knowing exactly what had Noah so bent out of shape.

The movie they were watching had culminated in a flash mob engagement scene, complete with a peppy pop song, dancers, and tears of happiness.

"God that is #goals, I am swooning! That is definitely how I want to be proposed to some day." Anna squealed.

"Really?" MC responded.

"Yes! Wouldn't you?" Anna asked.

"Oh no, not me. I think the romance of marriage is two people looking at each other and saying, 'I want to choose you, over and over, every time' and making the decision together to get married. All that fanfare is just distracting."

Noah felt weakened by MC's words. His mind racing to fill in all the lines of this scenario, drawing those next steps with MC as a permanent fixture in his life. No more weeks apart, no more long car rides, just every morning waking up together, choosing each other.

Karen's eyes darted over to Noah's for a brief, but meaningful moment. She could read the emotion on his face, the way only a mother can. When Noah was just a baby, she would rock him to sleep, emotionally bent over with the fresh wound of his father leaving. She would soothe his tears when she couldn't soothe her own. And she would dream of the better life he would have. And here she was, looking at it.

"Plus, I think I'd be so embarrassed by that, everyone waiting for you to react in the exact right way," she shuddered at the thought.

"So you don't even want a down-on-one-knee kind of thing? Just, like, go ring shopping one day?"

"Sure," MC shrugs.

"Nah, that doesn't sound romantic to me at all."

"Different people need different things from love, Anna." Karen chimed in. "I think I'm going to turn in."

"Me too, actually. We've got to leave so early tomorrow." Anna sighed.

Simon just stood up silently, and said a quiet "goodnight" as he walked to the stairs to go to bed.

MC and Noah finally found themselves alone. They sat next to each other on the couch, the movie still playing, though neither were really paying attention to, since, once again, MC's hand kept drifting further up his thigh.

As soon as the creaking of footsteps had quieted down upstairs, Noah made his move. He leaned toward her urgently, but she pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him away. She raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"What-" she pushed him back, "are you doing?" she said, emphasizing each word, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"I'm trying to kiss you."

"Okay, go ahead and try." She challenged him. He leaned toward her again, but she dodged him. She knew he had never wanted her as bad as this, may never again want her this bad. She was going to take advantage of it.

One side of his mouth curled up, realizing her game. He grabbed her roughly by the hips, and pulled him on top of him. "I want to fuck you so bad right now."

"Excuse me?!" she scoffed in mock surprise. "I am a lady. You heard your mum. You don't get a taste of this until you propose."

He felt a surge of longing pulse through him at the thought of her being his fiancee; a surge that traveled down his body to a very specific point. "Don't tempt me. And please don't mention my mum at a time like this." He said looking down at the stiff bulge pushing painfully against his zipper.

"Oh you poor thing, that looks like it hurts."

"It does. Maybe you should kiss it better."

She slapped him. His eyes widened in excited surprise. He hadn't even known that was something he would like, but he did.

"Cheeky!" she rebuked him.

"Okay, maybe just apply pressure."

She rocked her hips against him and he sighed gratefully. She reached down and unzipped his pants. It was then that he realized she was not wearing anything under her nightgown. Every drop of blood in his body rushed to his cock.

She slid against him so he could feel her wetness. but she wouldn't let him penetrate her. He ached to feel her velvety core tighten around him, pull him in deeper. But every time he angled to slide inside her, she would pull away.

"'You're killing me."

"Say 'please.'"

He rolls his eyes. "Please." he says begrudgingly.

She tuts and shakes her head, moving to get off his lap. "I deserve better than that. You need to ask nicely ."

He clutches at her, pulling her back down on him. "Please! Please! I'm begging you."

She raised her eyebrows and shifted her hips forward, shocking Noah when he felt himself slide effortlessly into her.

"Ah!" he yelled in surprise.

She clapped a hand over his mouth. "Quiet!" she scolded him. "Someone will hear."

"I'm the librarian. I'm the one who should be shushing you."

"I'm not going to lie. I've been dying for you to shush me." She rocked her hips side to side a little as she said this.

He grabbed her ass, digging his fingers into the soft, plump flesh. "I'd rather make you scream." He kissed her roughly, biting her lip and pulling, grabbing a nipple and twisting. He thrust into her urgently, afraid she would tease him some more, or someone would wake up, and he'd have to stop.