JEANIE

Dear Travis,

I wasn't ready for what happens next.

Jeanie.

I tuck the small envelope inside my bag that is sitting on my lap as I shut the car door beside me. I set the bag down on the seat next to me.

Today'is the day. I am going to give Travis the letter that I have written for him. I know somehow he will be at work today, so leaving it on his doorstep would be easy.

Well, easier. With him not there to catch me.

Easier for me to just walk away, knowing he will not read it for a while.

I told myself I should give it to him the day heis leaves, but I have no idea when that is. He never told me the exact date.

So I figure I'd better do it before he actually leaves.

I hold back my tears as I start to drive. I make it to his house in a few short minutes, then put the car in park.

I don't move. His car is right there, in front of me.

Darn it. He's still there.

Unless he somehow got to work without his car, which is not likely.

It doesn't matter. I have to do this. Maybe I can ask him when he's actually leaving so that I can secretly watch him leave.

I chuckle. Yeah, and hurt myself even more.

I leave my car. And walk slowly over to the front door, digging into my bag, pulling out the envelope. It feels like a million pounds in my hand as I clutch it tightly.

I can do this. I can do this.

I repeat it in my head like a mantra.

The front door is right in front of me. I reach my hand to it and knock softly. Not loud at all. And when I don't hear an answer, I know I will have to knock louder.

So I do. I practically pound on the door, then feel embarrassed once I do so, stepping away from the door.

I glance down at the letter in my hands. The name of my ex-husband written in my hand sprinkled across the front. I want nothing more than to be rid of it. Right now.

Travis, answer.

"Who's there?" I hear his voice on the other side of the door and I jump.

"Me. Um, Jeanie."

Silence on the other side.

"Travis?"

"You can't be here, Jeanie. You have to leave."

I frown, placing my hand on the door, as if I am really touching him. "I just have to give you something. Real quick," I reason. I have to see his face now that I am here.

"You don't understand. You cannot be here. I can't see you. I can't talk to you."

I feel tears clog my vision. Now he is really taking this thing seriously to the point where I can't even say goodbye.

"It's a letter," I whisper, "for you. To say goodbye. I-I'll leave it on your doorstep," I say softly, placing it on the ground, glancing at it once more before turning around.

"Jeanie," I hear him whisper, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I smile. "I know. But, don't read the letter until you've already left. Please."

"I won't. I promise."

"Thank you," I whisper again.

Then I walk away from his house. And get in the car, to drive away.

TRAVIS

I clutch the envelope in my hand.

Jeanie had just left when I decided to open the door and get what she left me. Across the front of the page is my name in her hand.

Out of all the things I missed, I didn't think seeing her handwriting would be one of them. But it is, and I tighten my grip on the paper, not wanting to let it go.

I want to read it so bad, but I remember the promise I made to Jeanie. Not until I leave.

So I stuff it into my backpack, hidden in one of the zipper pockets. I stare at it for a while before I have the strength to leave it alone.

After last night, I basically packed all my clothes, appliances, and kitchen. All I have left is the large furniture which is going to be packed today since I ordered a moving van. I have planned to get everything settled with the house and sell it later tonight.

But for now, I have planned on calling Jared to come over and help me move the furniture when it got here.

"Hello?" He asks when he picks up.

"Jared?"

Silence. I expected this since the last time we talked he punched me a few times and let me know what he thought about my divorce.

I tried to explain. Tried to make it right.

But I knew he still disliked me.

Knew he wanted nothing to do with me.

Not only have I lost my wife, I am losing my best friend as well.

"Hey, Travis," he greets, and there is no anger in his voice, unlike what it was a few nights ago.

"Hi," I say.

"What's up?"

"Are you busy right now?"

"Um... not really. Just helping Fran prepare dinner. Why?"

I cringe. I don't want to take him from Fran, who I know would probably reject the idea of me having him over to help since I know she is on Jeanie's side.

"I'm moving. Tomorrow. And I'm having a moving van come here like any second now. And I need your help."

More silence. I can hear him talking with Fran, and I can feel the rejection coming.

When he speaks again, I hold my breath.

"Would you mind if Fran comes too? To help?"

I feel my jaw open slowly. I blink and stutter, "Uh-uh sur-sure. Thanks."

"Okay. We'll bring lunch. Be over in a few.." he hangs up.

I pull the phone away from my ear and grin. So maybe I haven't lost my best friend.

Then I see the moving van come up my driveway from outside my window. I move outside quickly and greet the driver. He shakes my hand and then opens the back of the truck, and I glance at the space and know I definitely won't fill up this thing with my furniture. But it is the smallest one they had, so this is what I got.

A few minutes later, another car pulls up and Jared and Fran come out and walk over to me. I give Jared a hug and smile at Fran. But then she comes to give me a hug, so I let her.

Somehow I thought she might have hated me ever more than Jared.

But from her smile, I knew she had forgiven me.

I can't help but smile back.

"So? Where are we at with moving? Have you got started yet?"

I shake my headead, hands on hips.. "Nope. Van just got here a few minutes ago."

"Where can I put this?" Fran asks suddenly, and then I realize she has a large bag in her hand, and I see pots and pans inside.

Oh boy.

"Inside," I say, pointing to the house. "Just put it on the counter."

She moves past me, muttering a thank you, her red hair disappearing inside the house. I turn to Jared.

"Let's get started. Living room first?" He asks, and I nod. We move toward the house and go to the living room. There isn't much furniture in here, so it only took us a little while to move it outside and into the van.

About a half hour later, I go to the kitchen and find that Fran has prepared a meal for lunch, and is currently packing stuff into boxes that I hadn't gotten to yet. There are a few already done and are marked as well in sharpie.

"Thanks, Fran," I say to her. Her head snaps up and she smiles.

"Don't thank me. I'm doing this for Jeanie," She says. It's said kindly, but I can see behind her smile that it is meant to be taken as a warning.

Ever the fighter for Jeanie.

It's what we have in common.

Jared comes inside, plants a kiss on his wife's head, and then starts to take the boxes she has already packed up and I do the same. It only took us one trip.

Then we come back inside and see that Fran has served three plates of pasta. She has a few veggies on it, along with garlic bread.

"Thanks, darling," Jared whispers to Fran as he kisses her soundly on the mouth. She chuckles in response, sitting down at the table, him following suit.

I do the same, across from them. I smile at them as we all dig into the food.

Being here with these two makes me want to stay even more. Already more so than when I think about Jeanie.

But then I think of her again and remember all the reasons I have to.