《Rozmowy przy kawusi z...》2.Dumbledore
Advertisement
{Lumen} *w czarnym płaszczu, tępym wzrokiem patrzy przed siebie i z podkówką na twarzy śpiewa* Hello darkness, my old friends
I've come to talk with you again.
Because a vision softly creeping
Left it's seeds while...
{Dumbledore} Lumen wszystko dobrze? *patrzy się na mnie jak na pojeba*
{Lumen} Co?! A ta ta... *zdejmuje płaszcz i się ogarnia* Już spoko. Po prostu usłyszałam coś miłego od kogoś i to mną wstrząsnęło.
{Dumbledore} Uczniowie z Hogwart'u jak i jego grono nauczycielskie bardzo cię lubią i mówią miłe rzeczy. Tak samo jest z Avengers'ami, bandą Gandalf'a, Creepypasty oraz twoimi innymi przyjaciółmi.
{Lumen} Tak, ale chodzi o to, że powiedział mi to prawdziwy człowiek.
{Dumbledore}Nie rozumiem. My też jesteśmy prawdziwi, nie?
{Lumen} Wiesz w sumie to wy wszyscy jesteście wyimaginowanymi postaciami z fandom'ów, stworzonych przez niebywale kreatywnych ludzi, albo tak samo jak ja niebywale szurniętych. W sumie jakby się tak nad tym zastanowić to my tak naprawdę nie jesteśmy w Hogwarcie, ani nawet ze sobą nie rozmawiamy. To wszystko odgrywa się w mojej głowie, a może to być efektem tego, że jestem zamkniętym w sobie nerdem, mam jakąś trójkę, może czwórkę ludzi z którymi lubię rozmawiać i którzy również żyją w fandom'ie. Reasumując ty nie istniejesz, a ja jestem #foreveralone
{Dumbledore} WAIT WHAT?!
{Lumen} Co?
{Dumbledore} No ja się pytam co?
{Lumen} Ale co, co?
{Dumbledore} No się pytam co?!
{Lumen} Ale, że co?
{Dumbledore} CO?!
{Lumen} NIE COCUJ TU NA MNIE TY COCU NIE DO COCONY BO JAK CIĘ COCNĘ TO CIĘ COCE Z COCWARTU BĘDĄ MUSIAŁY TACHAĆ DO SKRZYDŁA COCNIĘTEGO, ŻEBY CIĘ PANI COMFREY RATOWAŁA!!!
{Dumbledore}WAIT WHAT?!
{Lumen} Co?
{Dumbledore} To ja się pytam co?
{Lumen} Ale co, co?
{Dumbledore} No się pytam co?!
{Lumen} Ale, że co?
{Dumbledore} CO?!
{Lumen} NIE COCUJ TU NA MNIE TY COCU NIE DO COCONY BO JAK CIĘ COCNĘ TO CIĘ COCE Z COCWARTU BĘDĄ MUSIAŁY TACHAĆ DO SKRZYDŁA COCNIĘTEGO, ŻEBY CIĘ PANI COMFREY RATOWAŁA!!!
Advertisement
{Dumbledore} So creative.
{Lumen} No wiem. *siedzą w gabinecie Dropsa i patrzą na wszystko znudzonym wzrokiem*
{Dumbledore}Tak w ogóle to co cię do mnie sprowadza?
{Lumen} Myśl myśl myśl *przyjmuję pozę Kubusia Puchatka stukając się w czoło* Mój Boże! Zapomniałam!
{Dumbledore}Co się stało? Co zapomniałaś? Proszę nie mów, że zapomniałaś nakarmić swojego smoka i znowu pożera sąsiednią wioskę!
{Lumen} Nie to było tydzień temu.
{Dumbledore} A spoks
{Lumen} Dumby!
{Dumbledore} Lumen!
{Lumen} DUMBYYYYYYYY!!!
{Dumbledore} LUMEEEEEEEN!!!
{Kira} Czego japy drzecie?!
{Lumen} Sorry sis już będziemy cicho.
{Kira} To dobrze, bo ten debil już chcia...
{Jeff} Lumen! *Jeff the Debil wbija do gabinetu Dropsa i uwiesza się na mojej szyi*
{Lumen} O ja psy w dole!
{Kira} O to mi chodziło.
{Jeff} Co to ma być? Nie dość, że mnie zdradzasz to jeszcze ze świętym mikołajem. *wskazuje na Dumbledore'a*
{Kira} *szepcze* To Dumbledore
{Jeff} *szepcze* Kto?
{Kira} *szepcze* Wiesz wielki czarodziej, dyrektor Hogwart'u, nemezis Voldemort'a.
{Jeff} Nie ważne kim jest! Lumen mnie z nim zdradza.
{Lumen} Uno! Nie mogę cię zdradzić w ten sposób, bo nigdy nie byliśmy razem. Dos! Dumby to mój ziom. Tres! Kiedy mówiłam, że lubię starszych nie miałam na myśli mężczyzn w wieku mojego pradziadka!
{Jeff} Rzeczywiście.
{Lumen} A tak z innej beczki...*chrząka* JEFFIE THE DEBILU CO TY TU ROBISZ, TO NIE TWÓJ FANDOM?! * Jeff tak się wystraszył, że zatonął cały w swoim kapturze* Siostra weź opanuj swojego ojca, bo ja już nie mogę.
{Kira} Dobra tatko idziemy do domu, zjeść kanapki z dżemem.
{Jeff} Jeeeej *Jeff piszczy jak mała dziewczynka i podskakując jak krasnoludek wychodzi z gabinetu, a Kira wychodzi patrząc na niego z politowaniem*
{Dumbledore} To było dziwne.
{Lumen} Ja już przywykłam. ALE... Miałam ci powiedzieć o czym zapomniałam. Więc zapomnieliśmy się przywitać z czytelnikami!
*Applause*
{Dumby&Lu}Czeeeeeść!
{Lumen} Więc, zacznijmy naszą dyskusje przy kawusi.
{Dumbledore} Nie mamy kawusi.
Advertisement
{Lumen} SHUT THE FUCK UP! * Drops milczy* Więc, Albus'ie powiedz mi czy...
{Statysta} Lumen jest taka sprawa.
{Lumen} Co chcesz Tommy? Nie widzisz, że jestem zajęta?
{Statysta} Ja wie, ale Lu czas nam się skończył.
{Lumen} Jak to czas nam się skończył? Nie zdążyłam się jeszcze spytać Dumbledore'a czy jest gejem?! Wiesz jakby oglądalność wzrosła?!
{Statysta} Domyślam się, ale teraz puszczają Trudne Sprawy. Nic na to nie poradzę szefowo. *Przeżywam załamkę*
{Dumbledore} Lumen wszystko dobrze?
{Lumen} Nie... *Zakładam pelerynę żałobnika i wychodzę z gabinetu robiąc dziwne ruchy, które nazywam tańcem drąc przy tym jape jak Lupin do księżyca* Fuck my life! ułoło! FUCK MY LIFE! UŁOOOOOOOOOOO!
{Lumen} *Tańczę dalej dopóki nie zamykam się w swoim grobowcu*
Advertisement
- In Serial12 Chapters
Henchman
Ignored. Written-off. Underestimated. Until a serendipitous accident shows Gus the secret of how supers get their powers. Will it be enough to help this inexperienced henchman survive? Marooned on a desert island with a malevolent force trying to thwart him at every turn, Gus must conquer each challenge he faces Can he prove to himself, along with everyone else, that he's more than anyone thought he could be? If he succeeds, history will be rewritten. If he fails... [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
8 112 - In Serial85 Chapters
Humanity's End
Given a year to prepare by the mysterious ‘system’ for contact with the wider galaxy, humanity must work to ensure the Earth’s defense is ready to meet any challenge. Sadly, most of the world seems dedicated to tearing itself apart as the year-end deadline gets closer. The west is in barely contained Chaos, while the east descends into internal conflict and war. The Pillar Forts, one of the few successful projects of the United Nations headed by the United States, stand ready to defend humanity against any invasion that may come through the strange Connection Pillars that appeared on each continent. Massive steel and stone walls that surround the Connection Pillars. They are filled with deadly men and women trained in all manner of warfare, each trained in the newly acquired System with skills and magical abilities that they put to deadly purpose. Beside these brave warriors, tanks, helicopters, artillery and more stand ready to defend humanity at each of these powerful installations. But, can they overcome the disparity in levels and experience between themselves and the forces that threaten them and the rest of humanity? Main Characters Jessica Brown- A young African American girl. Her 18th birthday in Detroit was the same day the systems message appeared. She discovered she was Level 7, much higher than most of the rest of the world. Why she is blessed, or cursed, with the power she doesn’t know. But what she does know is that she rather likes the feeling that comes with manipulating magic. The week after her birthday, government workers started testing every person in the US in a massive census effort of skills and abilities. Jessica Brown found herself conscripted into the US Magical Corp, a new branch of the US Military, and shipped off to a Pillar Fort. Somewhere hot and muggy in her ancestors’ home of Africa. As she grows stronger, she finds she has some connection to the pillars. While everyone else sees beauty or danger when they look at the pillars, after connection is made all Jessica can see is a Tree. A tree the size of the entire universe. Isaka Smith - is a third generation American and farmer who just wants to be left alone. But she is dragged into the situation by events beyond her control. When people in her small town had to deal with rioters and looters after the system announcement, she rallied them to defend themselves, earning her a trait that the government found extraordinarily useful. After a visit to a local reservation, she finds herself conscripted to lead one of the many small support towns erected around the great pillar forts. Not near her old home, but in far-flung Africa. John McIntire, the “Fighting Bull” -The commander of the African Fort, but because of circumstances beyond his ability to contend with shortly after taking command after being re-activated from retirement, he finds communication with his chain of command increasingly difficult. The US government, hell, even the United Nations, seems to have fallen into complete and utter chaos. The African Union is embroiled in a bitter civil war just outside his door, and supposedly, most of the world governments are in similar situations. Meanwhile, John must do his best to be ready to facilitate diplomacy, or to match the hostile argument of whatever force might come through the pillar of light when the year timer finishes counting down. Can our heros defend Earth from outside threats, while it tares itself apart? Or will they need to rebuild from the ground up? DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to my father who passed away recently. Jim Holloway, you’ll be missed you old silverback gorilla. Love you dad. Always have, always will.
8 301 - In Serial62 Chapters
Reincarnated Nobility
There is a kingdom in a world of magic where children with the best scores in subjects from agriculture, to politics, to magic are selected to join the prestigious school, Nobility, to be trained as the country’s next generation of leaders. I am one of those children, and I have my eyes set on the position of Queen… but people keep misunderstanding everything! The Queen and the King are never married, by law. They are just coworkers who happen to live in a giant castle. Why do I want to be Queen? Well, I used to be a person from some lame place called Earth, and here the Queen governs magic! This was an otome game? So? (Warning, this story is a definite first draft and my current focus right now is finishing it. Editing will come later) This story can also be found at https://jlynnbattleworthystories.wordpress.com
8 366 - In Serial65 Chapters
Tartarus- A Prison Odyssey
Tartarus. The world's first and only prison country, created in 2020 to hold all the unnecessary and undesirable elements of the world. Out of sight, out of mind. Aaron Hassan is an adventurous lock picker in the year 2075 who wishes to someday stand atop the walls of Tartarus, to do so, he is willing to enter Tartarus, and then try to break out, which has never succeeded...Lucky for him, he's being framed for murder, which is enough of a no-no to get sent to Tartarus... but once inside, he finds that the world of criminals isn't as simple as it first seems. Inside the only Sanctioned Lawless Zone in the world, Aaron finds that there are little to no rules for the strong... and while he isn't strong, he can do amazing things... especially with locks. Khul ja Shem-Shamayim. Be opened, doors to heaven. Amazon Links: https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B07HNXX88D https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B084FDWL63 Smashword Links: Book 1: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1008205 Book 2: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1011667
8 79 - In Serial18 Chapters
Stress Relief (Grizz x Nom Nom)
As soon as Nom Nom returns from vacation he is bombarded with his fans left waiting. With the risks of his stress getting out of hand he no choice but to stay with Grizz off the grid in the forrest. While there he comes to realize things not only about himself but about others who he might come to care about.
8 59 - In Serial10 Chapters
I'll Love You
The story of the Magic Animal Club, from the day it was started, through the ups and downs of their lives.Will opposites attract?Will old friends find each other?Will love succeed?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Super cheesy, I know, shut up...It all is mine.No stealy stealy, okie?It copyrighted, so all the ideas are mine.No copying, please!Yeah I'm a nutter, ignore me...Heeheehee
8 148