He caught it.

It was supposed to be me.

None of it will happen if it wasn't for me intruding their life. The three of them was always the light, and I was one of the moths who come along and break their bond. And here I am, crying my guts as I ask myself. What have I done wrong? All I did was to love him.

All I did was to love him

Weeks flew by and soon weeks turn into months and I was afraid, no terrified was the more suitable word that I am feeling everyday. I didn't want it to be years, no more waiting.

I want him to wake up.

He was shot near his head although the doctor said it graze him a bit, but the wound is still on his head. They said that he's just recovering himself through coma and he will soon wake up, but what if he didn't? What if he simply think that life is too much and he wants to let go?

If he did wake up, what if he has some brain injuries and make him paralyzed or become a vegetable? Have an amnesia? Those are questions that's been bugging me ever since he got hospitalized. His family hired the best professional doctors and even give him the best treatments in the hospital. I was ashamed myself to look into his family's eyes. I didn't cherish him well, didn't protect him and now he ended up like this.

His family didn't have any I'll intent on me and even hug me so tight I almost burst into another round of tears. His mother and father pat me in the back telling me it's going to be okay. Then his siblings came rushing in, telling me to not give up and also asking me to take care of him and myself. Tears gushing out of me and we all soon burst into tears, the men's shake their heads and hug us.

His friends also came and gave me some flowers and talk to me for a bit. I learned a lot of information about him with his friend and I was like a sponge, soaking up all those information's about him.

Learning about his life when he was working besides his lazy and carefree attitude makes me more intrigued. He was a cold hearted man in the outside but have a big heart in the inside they say. He was cruel to someone who is cruel to him and strict towards his staff. He doesn't like people neglecting theri jobs and people who have bad intentions towards the company and mostly towards him.

He is a professional business man but he's not greedy, he donated a lot of money on charities and churches as well as public schools. His friends leave me for about a 3 hour talking and let us be.

I gaze upon him in a different light. I always know that he's an impressive guy and a kind man but I didn't know this to an extent. Holding his face between my hands, I kiss him in his forehead and let my eyes look at him. I could still feel his body heat and it takes more considerations and mental arguments with my conscience to stop climbing on his body and stay to sleep with him.

I finished saying all of the things I knew I couldn't say even if he want me to. I'm an emotional person but I do get embarrassed when saying things like that but if it's for Sebastian, I wouldn't waste a time and say it over and over again.

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Love can change a person whether in a good or bad way, it's up to you.

Love has many versions of meaning it just varies to one person. It could be magical to them, a happy and warm feeling that makes them see the world into a different light but it could also be a bad thing. An obsession that taken root into an innocent infatuation to an obsession.

Being in love was a scary feeling to, the green monster or as we called "The Jealousy" makes a person do things without thinking of the consequences. Lives of innocent persons get ruined for even looking at him/her and then your love was no longer called love and in the eyes of other people, it was crazyness, you having a mental problem in their eyes as they judge you but what did you do? You just love someone right?

You see, love can be a double edge sword.

It could be a blessing and a curse, hidden in that four word that spelled L-O-V-E. It doesn't make any sense is it? Sacrificing yourself for the one you love? Getting everything and anything for her even if it's hard. Love can make a sane person a fool. It is truly mysterious for me. Lust, infatuation and obsession chaine up with the word love.

Many scientist attempt to discover love and tells you about information on how your brain makes you think you're in love with someone. But there is one thing I'm exactly sure of. When you love a person, you give him a part of your soul and even though times passed, it won't diminish the thought, the feelings and also the memories from him/her.

You will never know the force that makes you inlove or foolishly in love with someone. Yes it'll be sacry yet exciting, like a rollercoaster, but it is worth it.

Love conquers all.

I was waken up with a voice I dearly know.

She has dark heavy bags under her eyes and a pale face (I'm afraid she covered up with foundations) as I saw her lips lose it's vibrant pinkish red color before. She also lost some weight as I could see her face was shallow and her slender hourglass self becomes thin, I feel like she would be thrown away with just a gush of wind.

All in all, she was not in a good state and her eyes loses its carefree and cheerful self. Pitying her, I hold my hand and she hugs me. Startled, I put my hands towards her shoulders and pat her back, the only way I knew to comfort someone.

still crying as she said sorry over and over to me. It feels like a deja Vu for me, seeing her apologizing as her tears continued to flow, it remind me of myself months ago before Sebastian got into a coma. Her parents was shocked at me when I drop on to my knees and apologise to then over and over about how sorry I was for Sebastian.

With eyes full of determination along with my firm tone, she already relaxed and stop her tears. Relieved, I hold her hand and lead her to Sebastian's room. She sees him there and fought back the tears that threatened to fall on her face.

she smiled at me and gave me a squeeze with her hand on mine.

She gave me a wide eyes look while she was still shock, I flick her forehead and she grunts at me.

She eyed me warily and I could feel that she wanted to ask some questions at me but she's afraid I might get scared or maybe got some traumas about him.

Finished with a smile, her hunch back turned rigid straight and I fought back a smile.

True to what she said, she's not the only one who got burdens on her shoulders lifted, mine as well. I could feel my steps were light and the pain and hurt as well as the fear with him evaporated into thin air. I could sense that I'm more carefree and relaxed in some days after I forgive him.

Forgiveness might be hard to summon especially if the one person you feared and hurt you wants to apologise. It's not easy and it takes courage to face them. Leonard was like a shadow that always hang off my shoulders every day, whether it's in the past or in the present. He hovered over me all my life and now, now I'm truly free.

Days without him waking up and without no complications flew by. It's been half a year yet he showed no signs of waking up. His family is starting to get worried and i always panic when a sound or even the tiniest bit if change was seen in his room. I was practically living in the hospital, I got my leave from Tim and got my other job as an editor inside the hospital. I was here almost 24/7 yet he still won't wake up.

I wonder, if he didn't resent Liliana, then he won't resent me right? I was accustomed to such thoughts flowing on my head as I rub my neck to stop the stiffness that's been crawling up on my neck.

I stopped on my tracks as I felt a little force clutching my index finger (which I think was a finger itself). I found Sebastian looking at me with his usual gentle and warm eyes, the sun gazing at him making his eyes shine more with it's usual golden brown eyes. He smiled at me and I rub my eyes and slap my cheeks a bit.

Oh God, it's not a dream. He's real, he's real and awake now. My tears flowed like an endless stream, I didn't care if snots were seen on my nose or if my makeup got smudge. All I care is that he's awake now.

He's awake.

After calling his parents they swarmed in, his friends, Liliana and my family too, making me the room so packed. They were telling him stories, positive things and some occasions that happened at them. His friends leave after some time and he's parents tagged along too, they must know that I'm itching to be inside and talk to him. His mother, giving me a squezze in the hand I smiled at her consideration.

Silence emerged on us, only the machine running on him was the sound that resonates around the room. He holds his hands and I done through him, careful enough not to injured him yet he hoist me up in my waist and let me sit on his lap.

He kissed my tears, wait tears? I didn't know that I'm crying until he kissed me in the eyes while stroking my cheek, his hands so gentle making me feel like a fragile glass that will break by just a touch. He kissed me in my forehead, to eyes,nose lips and even my ears getting me tickled a bit.

sincerity filled my tone as gratitude was seen evident on my eyes. He just chuckled as if the words I said was nonsense. I hit him lightly in his chest.

my heart thumped at his last words as a warm feeling crawled up on my cheeks and he chuckled, amused by my embarrassed state, he kissed me by my lips and I couldn't help but deepen it.

Longing, love pain and a mix of sweetness, emotions that are tangled up as we kissed together. Our emotions spilled and we craved for it, savor the feeling that's been stored for so long.

Hands on each other, mouths tingling and numbling from the kiss, but the love was clearly seen. We stopped for a bit to catch our breaths, staring towards each other's eyes I could see his adoration and love from him. Smiling warmly at him, I pecked his cheeks and hug him, burrowing my head from his neck as I smell his usual scent that I've been craving for months.

We held each other like that and no words were said but I know, we are fated, even in the past and present.

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