WEEKS: 33-38

I was staring at my bedroom ceiling. He scared me. He was... pushy, big, bulky, stubborn... and sexy as hell. Not only that, I was also intellectually attracted to him, and that was the worst - especially being pregnant with his baby! God, how did I end up in this mess?! I still couldn't believe it. My very careful workout, meal plan, meditation, and all that load of crap haven't helped at all.

I followed my best friend's advice and took two weeks off work. I could use the rest and the time to myself. Usually, on my holidays I would travel somewhere nice, go to a spa, lovely restaurants, and fancy shopping. Well, Eva decided I needed some shopping, but all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and cry.

My phone pinged with a text. Shit. Mr. Too Big & Sexy.

I winced. Shit... Maybe I should tell him I was going to the Ob/Gyn today? He was the dad after all... I rubbed my eyes, moaning - this was a bad idea, but I really didn't want to get on the bad side of Mr. Hot & Scary - I really had to control my hormones...

I actually snorted in laughter at that. I had to give it to him, he was cheeky.

He replied with a crying emoji and I put my phone away, chuckling. Right, long day today. I had to tell dad... He wasn't going to be happy. Actually, I had absolutely no idea what he was going to say and feel. He'd never mentioned wanting grandkids... He didn't look like the warming grandad that would play with you during the summer holidays, or the one to sneak you treats when your parents weren't looking. He was a stern businessman, too busy to pay attention to his own kids, I couldn't imagine he would pay attention to a grandchild.

With that sad thought, I slipped into my shower and decided to wash the hormones away - I scrubbed hard, but I was sure they would be there for at least eight more months.

I heard a banging on my door as I brushed my hair. Eva shrieked a big 'Good morning!', as she sashayed into my flat. She took her shades off and set a bag of goods from some vegan shop.

"Ok, I'm not turning vegan." I frowned, my hands up "I'm just bringing a baby into this fucked up world. I still want my steak."

"Relax." Eva rolled her eyes "This is just a few organic items I read are good for you."

"Thanks, mom!" I winked "Have you brought breakfast?"

"Here you go!" She smiled, handing me some foul smell drink.

"What the hell is this?!" I gagged, setting the paper cup on my dark marble counter.

Eva rolled her eyes again. She unpacked the groceries and put them away on my white cabinets.

"It's black tea. It's better than your old cup'a Joe" She explained, handing me the cup, to which I scowled.

"I can have a small cup. I think" I frowned; I actually wasn't sure.

"We're going to see the doctor today, right? Great. She'll let you know exactly what are the do's and don't's. We'll make a list, and we'll buy all the books."

"Yeah..." I nodded, taking a seat in one of my breakfast bar stools.

Eva kept putting the groceries away, as she announced.

"Speaking of the doctor..." I cleared my throat as I stared into my vegan bagel "I... spoke to Jordan."

My friend stopped putting the groceries away to frown at me.

"He's picking me up later" I finished quickly, immediately taking a bite off my bagel to keep my mouth busy.

"What?!" My friend shrieked "Vi! Nooooo! I wanted to take you! It's your first appointment, c'mon!"

"You were the one to tell me I should get him involved!" I defended myself "And he is the father. I have to be fair and give include him in the process as well."

"Please just tell me he is not coming with us shopping afterwards!" She begged, turning my coffee machine on and making me mown at the bitter smell of coffee.

"I can't promise that." I shrugged "Would it help if I told you that I wished he didn't come along? I just can't do that, Eva. He is the father and he wants to be there. There's nothing I can do about that."

"This is gonna suck!" She moaned, and I smiled at her; yep... it definitely was.

***

It was a scene out of a very awkward movie. Me, my best friend, and the guy that had knocked me up sitting at the doctor's office, waiting to be called. Her name was Dr. Celia Madrugo, and she was one of the top five Ob/Gyn in Miami - Eva had found her. It wasn't easy to get a spot with the top woman in Miami, and I could only imagine how many strings my bestie had had to pull to get us there.

Eva was pouting, not happy at all that Jordan had come along to the very first appointment. Well, tough! She had been the one to advise me to get him involved in the whole process! She couldn't exactly choose what parts he was allowed in or not. It was a full-time, rest-of-your-life kind of deal here - my stomach clenched at that.

When the receptionist took us into the office, I was shaking and sweating. I don't know why, but I felt like I was going to jump off a tall building into a black abyss, not knowing what could be at the bottom, or how bumpy the fall would be. A massive warm hand grabbed mine, squeezing it tight. I looked at Jordan and he smiled, nodding. I nodded back, not exactly knowing what we had both agreed on... and we got in.

Dr. Celia was sitting on her mahogany desk, with her dark auburn hair elegantly combed and framed glasses on the tip of her nose. Her smile was polite and warm, and I felt myself relax a little bit.

"Good afternoon, everyone." She greeted, getting up and shaking each of our hands "This is quite the entourage, but believe me when I say I've seen bigger. C'mon, take a seat."

We all did me in the middle and Jordan and Eva each grabbing one of my hands. I felt like a child at the Principal's office, with mommy and daddy watching out for me. I hated it.

"Ok, I'm going to assume you are the pregnant lady." She smiled at me, as she opened a file with my name on it "Violet. Ok, Violet. Let's just go through the basics, ok?"

She asked me loads of questions like when did I realized I was pregnant, what test did I take, how late my period was, and things like that. She took my blood pressure and my temperature, checked all my nodules on my face and neck, checked my eyes, my ears... I was exhausted after that and we haven't even gotten to the scan.

"You look fine. Good blood pressure, maybe a bit on the skinny side but we will change your diet a bit" Dr. Celia said, as she took notes on my file.

"Told you, you should eat a bit more" Eva whispered, in a patronizing tone.

"Not more." Dr. Celia chuckled "Just smarter, and better. We'll go through a meal plan and what your options are. Now, I must know: you're the father" She tossed at an unusual quiet Jordan "and... you are...?"

"The other mom." Eva declared, with a deeper voice; and in any other time and place I would've laughed "We decided to go for a nice tall and muscly donor."

I heard Jordan snort into laughter.

"Ok." Dr. Celia shrugged and started to take notes again.

"She's my friend." I stopped her with a tight smile "She's here for support. Although whatever she thinks she's doing, it's not working."

"I'm the auntie." Eva grinned "And godmother, of course."

"Guess it's decided who's the godmother" Jordan whispered back to me.

"Alright, ready to go to the scan?" She asked me; she had been obviously ignoring my entourage, for which I was grateful.

I laid down on the cold chair/table, pulling my shirt up a bit. She squirted some gel into my stomach and started the checking. It didn't take long until she found a small blot in my uterus. That was it? A tiny little blot on my tummy? That was what all the fuss was about? Even so, I felt my heart clench and my throat catch my breath. That blot was my baby; my tiny little baby boy or girl was in there, and I was making it!

"It's so tiny!" Eva muttered tears in her eyes.

Jordan just nodded, his eyes unblinking as he stared at the screen; his hand never left mine, and I couldn't believe how grateful I was for that.

"Ok, the baby is definitely there." Dr. Celia smiled, cleaning my tummy "And it looks fine. Let's go sit at my desk again and talk."

The three of us sat down on the chairs once more, as Dr. Celia took some more notes. She took her glasses and intercrossed her fingers, staring sternly back at the three of us. I swallowed hard; something was wrong!

"I know you're here to support Violet in this crucial moment, but I'm going to need a few minutes alone with her," Dr. Celia asked, and I tensed; both Eva and Jordan grasped my hands tight and I winced.

"Why can't I stay?! I'm her best friend!" Eva whined.

"I'm the dad!" Jordan put in, scowling at my friend.

"Like that's more important..." I heard Eva mutter under her breath.

"It's up to you." The Doctor said, not taking her eyes off of mine "If you're comfortable with them being here, it's fine, but I always like to have a few last words with my patients. Usually, I have it with the mom only, or with the couple. It's... a time for questions, what to expect, ups and downs... I advise you to stay, alone... or with the dad."

"Hey!" Eva pouted.

I winced at her, and my friend scowled at me.

"Fine. I'll wait outside..." She muttered, leaving with a big pout.

Jordan waited. I nodded at him and squeezed his hand. I nodded at the Doctor.

"Very well. Violet-"

"I'm going to lose it, ain't I?" I interrupted straight away.

"Don't be silly" Jordan tensed.

You're fine." She chuckled "You're healthy, you're not in a dangerous age either, and your baby is fine. I always like to have a few words and give you time for any questions you have. Now, your meal plan" She handed me over a neat table with the do's and dont's of food for pregnant women "I suggest you take it easy with work, with exercise and any heavy-duty stuff like move furniture and things like that - that's pretty clear, yes?"

Jordan and I nodded.

"Now, the dad" She smiled at a terrified Jordan "whatever you may think, I only need to see her once a month until the thirtieth week - then we will see each other every fortnight, but until then, she will be fine ok?"

"Wow, you're good" I had to admit.

"Every dad is the same, trust me. They call me more often than moms." She smiled "Now, I also like to advise the moms a few pregnancy books to read. Your whole life will change in a matter of months, and you should prepare for that. Financially, in your family life, your job. You will need to make a lot of preparations and decisions. The good thing is, you have plenty of time" He smile intensified as I whined.

"Doctor, I know the biggest risk is before week 12" Jordan, and surprisingly not me, put in.

"Although yes, the risk of miscarriage is higher in the first trimester" She explained, and I gasped "that risk actually decreases week by week. If you wish to wait to tell your family and friends before that, that is fine and understandable. But, in my opinion, you should share your news when you feel it's right."

"You said for Violet to take it easy with a bunch of heavy things." Jordan continued; why couldn't I ask the questions, since when did my brain stop working?! "But she does work out regularly and she is active at work, and a very uptight and stressed businesswoman."

I frowned at that and Dr. Celia chuckled.

"If she stops that, it will probably make her stress worse." He assured, "Can she work out and carry on with her work?"

"Absolutely. When I say to take it easy is not to go and run the marathon." She smiled at us "What it means is, walks and runs are fine, they are great to keep your weight at a healthy range as well - and this will make you and your baby healthier as well. Keep your runs and your walks, but don't get on the treadmill and run 5k at high speed. It's all about moderation."

"I do like my morning run before work." I explained, "At the beach?"

"That's perfect. Keep doing it. If you feel anything differently like headaches, dizziness or abnormally tired, do schedule an appointment; it might only be dehydration or you're not eating properly."

I nodded, doing another quick look at all the rules and do's and don't's. No drinking, no partying, no sushi, some soft cheeses, pâté, not too much coffee, too much tuna... God, I had to make a shopping list! What about all these cleaning products I couldn't use either?! I had no idea where most of these chemicals came from! Right, needed to have a serious talk with my cleaner, she would know what to do.

I heard Dr. Celia's and Jordan's voices in the background as I kept checking the six pages long list. Fuck, I'm not ready for this! Sleep deprivation, teething, diapers, no contact with grown-ups, post-partum blues...

Cracked nipples?!

Oh, God! Oh, fuck me sideways!

"Miss Conrad, are you ok?"

"Sorry, what?" I muttered, blinking as my brain came back to the room "I'm sorry, I was just reading the... info..."

Dr. Celia smiled in a maternal way.

"Look, I know it looks like too much. You are bringing a new life into the world." Her hands were closed over each other as she eyed me with compassion "I know you will be tired, hormonal, hungry and moody. It's just the way it is. I also know you will be fine. Don't overthink this. Let's do this week by week. Create small milestones for yourself - and for your relationship as parents. Don't try to build Rome in a day."

With that last piece of valuable advice, we left Dr. Celia's office. Eva was expecting us in the waiting room, and it was obvious she was not happy about being left out. Obviously, she would poke me until I would tell her everything that had been discussed inside the office. I wasn't in the mood at the moment, to be honest.

"Shall we go for lunch?" My friend asked.

"I honestly just want to go home" I admitted.

"Ok." Eva nodded, and I saw she exchanged a worried look with Jordan "Sure, we can do that. Now?"

"Please" I added.

She nodded and went to reception to schedule my next appointment. Jordan's massive hand patted my shoulder and I looked up.

"Step by step, ok?" He asked, but I could see the worry in his eyes.

"Yes, sure" I nodded, quickly.

"Hey." He sighed, grabbing my hand and caressing my shoulders, as if making me stand my ground and not leave - which for him was easy, with all the muscles he had! "It's obvious you're terrified, but remember I'm here for you. You're not alone. And Eva" He chuckled, pointing at Eva, who was pressuring the receptionist to get me the exact day she thought best to see Dr. Celia "has my full trust in looking after you when I'm not around."

"Hey, look, I don't need someone to look after me" I grunted, pulling back.

"Ok, you're right. My bad." Jordan yield, his hands up "What I meant was, she is a great friend, and she loves you. Let her help you. Let me help you too."

I was frowning merely because I hated how reasonable he was.

"Fine." I sighed "The next appointment should be in a month's time. We'll talk then, ok?"

"Wait, what?" He snorted.

"Done." Eva interrupted us, all proud of herself "You'll be here exactly in a month's time. You're good to go?"

"Could you just give us a few minutes, Eva?" Jordan asked my best friend, and she quickly walked away, leaving me to scowl at her "Have dinner with me tonight."

"No, thanks. I'm really tired, and I want to enjoy these two weeks I'll have off" I explained him, grabbing my bag and jacket.

"Then... come with us Saturday. We're going to my mom's for a barbecue. She would love to meet you."

"Your mom?" I moaned "I don't think that's a good idea..."

"I haven't told anyone yet." He admitted, rubbing his short hair "I... wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Do you want to wait for the twelve weeks? It's cool with me, really. I want you to be comfortable."

"Yeah... Would you mind waiting?" I winced.

"Not at all." He winked "Ok, not my mom's, let's leave that for the second trimester then. What about dinner at my place with the gang this Friday?"

"Jordan, it would be hard to explain why I was there. Besides, I prefer to keep it low key until the twelfth week. I just prefer to stay in."

"That's cool. I understand that. I'll make you dinner then" He winked, and went to the door to open it for me.

"No, I did not agree to that!"

It was too late, as he chuckled his way out of the office and went to his gorgeous and muscled motorcycle. He put on shades and his helmet, and I bit my lower lip at how sexy he looked in the leather jacket and aviator shades. My hormones... dear Lord, my hormones would be the death of me.

"I'm doing this for the baby, Trouble." He grinned, and Eva was laughing beside me "I'll see you Friday, at seven. I'll pick you up!"

And he drove off. I was left on the pavement with Eva, mouth wide open in rage.

"Well, you can't say he lacks effort." My friend chuckled, putting her shades on and trotting to her car "C'mon, Trouble, let's get you home so you and Biker Baby can eat."