《Dear Insanity》xSkinny Lovex

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Gabriel woke me hours later by brushing hair out of my forehead. I cursed myself for being a light sleeper, but then remembered Elise was probably awake by now and hungry. "Merry Christmas, he whispered.

I gave him a tired smile, repeating his words and climbing out of bed. “C’mere,” I mumbled. “I’ve got you something.”

He shook his head. “You didn’t have to get me anything,” he protested.

I let out a sigh. “Please?”

With a defeated nod, he took my hand. I felt my heart beat speed up at the thought of them meeting, finally, after so long. It would be amazing for them to connect, something that they could never do before due to their father. Maybe he would open up to her, since he almost never opened up to me.

He’d be happy.

I could tell he wasn’t, even though he was so good at pretending. The weight over his shoulder’s at his mother’s death was always pushing him down, and now that the retrial had been called, there is even more baggage. I wanted to do nothing but hug him and tell him it was going to be alright, but it wouldn’t be the same coming from me. Before I allowed myself to comfort him, he’d have to know everything.

I don’t know if I could ever tell him. I’d thought about it thousands of times, the scenarios that might end up happening. He’d be terrified of me, and never talk to me again. I don’t think I could bear that happening to me, as cliché as it sounds.

He’d grown on me the past two months, and I couldn’t let him go now. It felt as if I would be losing Chris again. Gabriel didn’t know how thin my mentality had become lately, with the hallucinations coming back and my first Christmas without my family. In all honesty, it was my second, but last Christmas I was locked in my ward the entire day and didn’t realize the holiday.

When I knocked on the bedroom door, a soft, Irish tone answered with a murmur. “Are you dressed?” I asked quietly.

“I never stripped,” she retorted with a yawn. I opened the door, pulling a confused Gabriel inside with me and staring down at the bed. She had taken off her boots and fallen asleep, her hair now in loose ruffles that made her look younger.

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Gabriel let out a breath, going rigid.

“. . . Eli?”

I stood on my tiptoes, ignoring the alarms going off in my mind not to touch him, and pressed my lips to his cheek for a moment. “Merry Christmas,” I murmured, squeezing his shoulder and entering the living room. Kira and Georgia sat slumped on the couch I was just sleeping on, eyes half closed as they held stockings in their hands.

Luna was cross legged on the floor, eyes bright and cheery as she went through hers. Surprisingly, Sam was next to her, looking like he was about to pass out.

 His hair, which was usually gelled back, had come undone and was standing everywhere. I almost laughed at the sight, but then remembered that my counselor and my mother’s best friend had probably hooked up last night. There was a burst of muffled laughter coming from the room down the hall, and I grinned. At least they weren’t crying. . .

“Alexxa,” Luna started gently. “Who’s in my bedroom with Gabriel? He didn’t bring home a hooker, did he?”

I let out a soft laugh, for once feeling like everything was working out. “I found his sister,” I said quietly.

 Her eyes widened for a second. “What do you mean? He has a sister?”

I realized she knew nothing about his past. Making up an excuse was easy- I always lied about my emotions, so how could this be much different? “His sister lives back in Ireland. I got her here for the holidays.”

It was the truth, but there was no story behind it as to why he was so excited to see her. They hadn’t seen each other in four years, since she was twelve and he was fourteen. They had just lost their mother and their father was in prison, leaving Gabriel to support her.

I’d known that she had a music scholarship at an all girl’s boarding school in Dublin somewhere, one that she desperately wanted to go to. Gabriel had left her there, only because he couldn’t support her.

I wasn’t lying when I told her he loved her. The spark in his eyes was enough to make me believe that she was more than just a sibling to him, but someone he really cared for.

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It was the same look Chris gave me when I was bullied by the popular kids for hanging out with Goths and the Emo crowd. And although Chris didn’t do much to stop it, because of his reputation that I understood would be ruined, I still loved him.

I looked inside my own stocking, settling on the floor next to the presents. “’I’m playing Santa,” I declared proudly, not ashamed of my inner child. Luna laughed, nodding, and leaned into Sam. Trying not to stare, I picked through the candy and little things, popping a peanut butter egg in my mouth.

“You do realize it’s eight in the morning, right?” Elise said, sliding down and sitting next to me.

 I shot her a half hearted glare. “So?”

She gave me a look. “Good point.” Picking up one from inside my stocking, she put it in her mouth and chewed slowly.

Gabriel came in, then, his face much more awake and bright. “Hey,” he greeted everyone, sitting down on my other side. I was faintly reminded of Lillian and Jodie, how they would always put me in between them- like I would break. “Can I talk to you?” His voice was quiet.

I nodded standing and crossing my arms over my chest. Luna glanced at me questioningly, but I just shrugged, as clueless as she. He closed the door behind me, the same expression never leaving his face. I couldn’t read it, which scared me. Was he angry, or happy? What if he didn’t want to see his sister, after all, and I read him wrong?

 Thoughts swirled around my mind, but before they could even comprehend, I was pulled into his embrace. I went stiff, arms at my sides, not even knowing what was going on, but welcomed the warmth. My arms awkwardly reached up to circle his back, finally accepting that he had initiated the hug.

“Thank you,” he muttered, voice muffled from the fabric of my shirt. “You don’t know how I felt, knowing she had no one to spend the holidays with.” I nodded, tugging away to look at him. “How did you find her?”

I shrugged. “There’s only two Hawthorne’s at the music school in Dublin.”

He grinned, circling me again. I was pressed up against the counter, staring up at him as he whispered things I didn’t hear. A hand went to my face and caressed my cheek, tracing my jaw and running over my lower lip. My stomach flipped, nerves sensitizing as I let my hands run down the arm that wasn’t moving.

I closed my eyes, feeling his head dip down and kiss my collarbone. This felt like the night at Nick’s party, where I was so powerless to him, but didn’t mind at all. His voice drifted up softly to my ears, husky and full of what I thought might have been appreciation. “I want to kiss you so badly right now,” he whispered.

I held back a shiver at his tone, letting my head fall. My hand went to grip his waist tightly, feeling his lips meet my cheek, right on the corner of my lip. I put my free hand through his hair, always wondering what it would feel like but never really knowing.

Just like that, it was over. Georgia stood in the doorway, a smirk on her face that made me jerk away from him. He sighed, looking over at her sadly but saying nothing. “C’mon, Santa, we’re opening presents.”

I suddenly regretted playing Santa.

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This chapter is insanely short, I know, but I am waaay too lazy to write this over longer. Forgive me, because this might be the last chapter for a couple weeks. Im going to a beach house! :DD

The songg is Skinny Love, but the Bon Iver cover <3 In my opinion.. its beautiful.

This was a filler, and there will be a longer chapter next time (the retrial). 

Elise is on the side. . . She is so beautifulllll, gah. Give me your face /.

xxx.

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