Nobody answered, not like I expected anyone to xD 2.3k reads isn't that impressive! Anyhoe, the whole meaning of that song was letting go and breaking the rules, like Alexxa did. She chose to not care about Gabriel for a few hours and get stoned with her friends, sneaking out of the institution.

Sounds so exhilarating.. The picture is of Jodie, only without the tattoo.

The song is Automatic Stop by The Strokes (A legendary indie band, in my opinion). Check the song out, it's on the sidee --->

Thanks for the votes I got on the last chapter, it motivated me to update (:

xxx

----

There was a knock at the door. Jodie sighed, not even bothering to sit up. "They probably came to kick me out again," He muttered, playing with a strand of my considerably longer hair. Lillian was in the showers, and I would be next. For now, Jodie had been hanging out with me to keep my mind off something that had been bothering me lately.

My urges.

Every time I glanced at a faint scar on my wrist, so unnoticeable unless you really, truly stared, you would be able to make out tiny white lines scattered up the inside of my left arm. I hadn't had them in a while, but I guess not seeing Gabriel added onto being in here brought the urges back.

They would creep into my mind when I least expected them to, bringing me from whatever half pleasant thought I would be dreaming up. They would come at the oddest of times, making my eyes run down to where my arm, which was once used as a canvas, lied.

"Hey," his voice was soft- he caught me glancing again. "You're going to be fine, I promise."

I nodded, but it was so obvious I didn't believe him.

I started to cut the day after my family died. It became an addiction, a way of being freed from this place. Eventually, after a suicide attempt, the institution noticed and put a stop to it. I had a plastic spork for eating, and someone took all the seemingly sharp objects from my room. Scratching didn't do anything for me, so I stopped, despite how difficult it was.

I would go on crazed streaks where I would bite myself, or do anything at all to cause harm. It was all for that high, although it only lasted a few seconds. It made me forget and focus on the physical pain, not the emotional one.

Since we ignored the person at the door, they barged themselves in just as I tore my gaze unwillingly from my arm. "Miss Ward?" A soft-featured face asked. I swallowed, running my eyes down her. She couldn't have been older than twenty five, and was only a few inches taller than me.

She could easily be crushed in this place. "That's me." I rose an eyebrow in recognition, laying my head back down on Jodie. It became common for me to use him as a pillow, as his chest was wicked comfortable. Lillian didn't mind- It was clear they both were in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and someone like me couldn't tear them apart.

Especially someone like me.

"You have two visitors downstairs," she informed me.

"Do they have names?" I asked, not caring much anymore.

She nodded, looking down at her clipboard. "Luna Hendricks and Gabriel Hawthorne."

My breath caught in my throat at the mention of his name. "Oh," I managed, taking a shaky breath.

"I'll. . . I'll be right down."

She squeezed my shoulder sympathetically, seeing the expression on my face, and gave us both a smile. "Next time, Mr. Winters, you're in here with a girl-"

"Allison, I'm in a relationsh-"

"-it doesn't matter what they are to you, I will not hesitate to write you up." She pressed on, ignoring his comment.

Scoffing, He tightened his grip on me. "Fine," he grumbled.

She left then, closing the door behind her. I swallowed the lump in my throat, looking towards him. "Can I borrow a sweatshirt?" I asked quietly.

His face flickered with guilty recognition. "Shit, why didn't I think of that?" He smacked his forehead, sitting up and taking me with him. "Go see Luna and that asshole, i'll bring you down a sweatshirt."

I nodded, standing and pulling on shoes. In the light, the scars looked so much more bright and visible. "Okay," I muttered.

Pulling me into a half hug, I pecked his cheek. "Hang in there. Don't even make eye contact with him until I get there."

I bobbed my head again, only this time it was fainter. So faint, exactly, that he took it for turning away from him. Squeezing me one last time to him, he pushed me slightly to the doorway. "I'll be right there."

I sent him a forced smile and crossed my arms over my small chest, refusing to look at them any longer. God knows what I would do if I saw them one more time where nobody was there to stop me.

The hallways were surprisingly empty as I walked through them, biting my tongue as not to tear up. When I saw the two sitting on the couch where Georgia and Kira had been only eight days ago, I nearly burst into tears and went running back to Jodie.

Instead, I held my chin high, adjusting the collar on my yellow shirt and sitting down in front of the two on the leather love seat. "Hi," I muttered, avoiding Gabriel's gaze. Luna reached over, pecking my cheek and handing me iced coffee.

I smiled my thanks, leaning back in my seat. "How are you?" She asked, voice low. "I know the nurses aren't that great here. . ."

I shrugged. "I'm okay," I said quietly. "I'll be out of here in three more weeks, anyways."

She nodded, patting my kneecap. "And I'll be right here to pick you up," She assured, starting to babble about work and how lonely it was without me singing songs. Which, by the way, was only once, and after that I had a horrible hallucination.

Gabriel was trying profusely to meet my eye. I refused, though, not wanting to show him the bags resting under my reddened blue orbs.The emotions running through my mind at seeing his painstakingly perfect features confused me - I didn't know whether to cry, scream, or hug him.

Before I could decide, an arm swung around my shoulders and a sweatshirt was plopped into my lap. "Hey," a low voice said in my ear. I breathed in the familiar smell of Axe, leaning into Jodie slightly and gratefully wrapping the plain black sweatshirt around my shoulders. He briefly let go to let me put it on.

"Who the hell is this?" Gabriel growled.

I snapped my eyes up, meeting his angry ones. "Why do you care so much? It's not like you're even in authority to ask." I hissed.

Jodie muttered something softly, making me calm down more than I thought I would. Gabriel's eyes softened and he sighed, reaching out as if to touch me. "Luna. . . Kid," He settled for, swallowing. "Can I talk to Alexxa alone for a few minutes?"

Without consulting me, the stoner pecked my cheek, standing and taking Luna by the waist. "I'll show you where the fun's at, eh?" He winked at her, and I couldn't suppress the chuckle that escaped my lips.

"Um," was all she responded with, giving me a helpless look before being dragged away by Jodie.

"Care to explain?" He asked sharply once we were in the gardens.

I immediately stopped walking, narrowing my eyes at him. For once he wasn't the cute, annoying boy I met on the street, but an enemy. Someone who wasn't there for me when I needed them most. I almost cut again because of him, and he was more worried about who I was hanging out with then how I was mentally.

"Why don't you?" I snapped, doing everything in my power not to become cliched and poke his chest. "You weren't even there for me, Gabriel! I've been in here for eight days, and not once have you even poked your head in to say hello!

"Have you even realized how much i've opened up to you? You. . .You bastard, you made me trust you! I never even wanted to, but you and your stupid, fucking good looks and- why do you have to be so damn nice to me all the time? If you were an asshole, maybe I wouldn't care, but here you are, you arrogant fucking-"

I was cut off as tight arms enveloped me. At first, I resisted, but when he didn't let go, I gave in and looped my arms around his back. And then I was crying, tears pooling down my cheeks like helpless waterfalls.

Soft circles were rubbed into my back, his familiar grip making me slump into him as if I was dead. For a brief moment, his lips pressed against my forehead, but he pulled away to rest his head on my shoulder. He was shaking, as much as I.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, holding me to him. His cinnamon- vanilla scent managed to fight its way into my nostrils, a pathetic reminder that I, Alexxa Ward, was crying in front of a boy I'd grown to like.

Like?

No, I don't like him. . . We're just friends. Close friends.

A close friend that gave you a hickey.

"I can explain everything," he assured, voice sincere. "C'mon, I'll take you for coffee."

I nodded, too numb to care right now. All I wanted to do was tackle him and kiss him until we couldn't breathe any longer. I wanted to kiss him past that point, really, but I held back, letting him take me lightly by my wrist and lead me to the front desk.

----

After two seconds of Gabriel's charm, the receptionist gave in and let us go for the hour. I had to wear a metal tracking bracelet on my wrist, with my name written and taped on to the bracelet. It had the address of the institution on it, in case I tried to escape and someone found me or something.

Needless to say, I felt like an animal.

We went to Al's, sitting down in the same booth as we always did. He was out sick today, though, so his son took our orders and left us be. I didn't say anything, staring across the table at him. Over the past six days, his usual perfect appearance wasn't so put-together any longer. There were heavy bags underneath his eyes and his hair was ruffled, blue eyes losing that spark he usually had.

I was worried.

"Lex," he started, voice somewhat quiet. "Do you remember when I told you about my dad?" I nodded, my breath catching in my throat. His hand started to shake slightly, but he gripped it onto the coffee mug to stiffen it. "He, um, he's getting called for a retrial."

I felt myself swallow hard. "How?" I thought aloud. His mother was murdered in the first degree by that man, and there was proof and a witness to stick by it. How the hell could he have a retrial?

He forced out a dry, humorless chuckle. I almost flinched , but remembered that this was just Gabriel- not any one I should be frightened of. Right?

"The judge was found to be in league with my lawyer." He said, sounding completely and utterly defeated. "Apparently, he paid the judge to get his way."

I could hear the sadness in his tone. He was only eighteen; he shouldn't have to go to trial again, face the monstrosity of a father he had. All of this should have either been forgotten or simply never happened- but here he was, breathing proof of a broken man.

So I did something I never thought i'd do. I reached over the table, picked up his hand in mine, and laced our fingers together. "It's going to be okay," I managed, almost feeling how destroyed he was. "I know it."

He shook his head. "Don't pity me," he muttered, but didn't pull away.

I bit my lower lip, playing with the stud. "You're talking to the girl who's entire family-"

My eyes widened as I realized what I was just about to say. Oh, my god. I was just about to tell him.

"What?"

"Nothing!" I stammered, too quickly. "I-I. . . I'm not pitying you."

Thank god that at that moment, the waitor came and asked us for more coffee. But there was no mistaking the questioning look in Gabriel's eyes the entire time the waitor chatted with him about the weather.

"When's the retrial?" I asked, keeping my voice gentle as I pried my hand from his to shove a piece of blueberry waffle in my mouth.

His face grew even grimmer, if possible. After swallowing half his egg, he glanced out the window. "It's on the 30th."

I did the math in my head. "That's only twenty days from now, Gabriel. . . " I pointed out. "And it's New Year's eve. Why would they schedule it for then?"

He shrugged, shoulders slumping.

"I don't know, but. . ." His eyes left the window to lock onto mine. "I was wondering if you would come stand by me when it happens."

-----

2.3k reads..

Can we make that 4.3k reads? Pretty please?

I'm in a really good mood right now, so I updated for you ^-^ Who else liked Alexxa's rant about how godly he is?? x3

She ALMOST CONFESSED!

Author Confession?

I accidentally wrote out them having a conversation about who should pity each other. As in, I let it slip that her family killed themselves without even realizing it myself. I'd confuse so many of you if that got posted xDD

So there's half the chapter I had to delete, and didn't wanna re write it differently.