Gabriel never left my side that night, gripping my hand loosely in his. I was way past drunk, pretty much hammered, really, and wouldn't remember anything in the morning. As of right now, the world was spinning, music a dull drone in my ears while colors flashed around me. The pain in my stomach was gone completely. a slight irritation where the wound was but nothing more.

Jack Daniels does wonders to stab wounds. I should put in a good review.

After hours of wandering around, lost and so clearly not fitting in with the crowd, I finally found someone to dance with. She was a girl with teal hair and a septum piercing, who looked the most casual out of everyone. We compared piercings as we got drunk and danced, talking about bands and music and life.

She was named Gabrielle, which made me laugh hysterically. She was so exactly like Gabriel in every possible way it made me want to cry and laugh some more, so of course, I introduced her to him, giggling madly when they shook hands and took the drinks from me. 

Gabriel gave me a worried look. "Alexxa," he said carefully, "Are you alright?"

Gabrielle left, spotting her boyfriend and waving me off. I waved happily after her, staring towards Gabriel once again to answer his question.

"I'm just fine." I nodded, giving him a lazy smile. "Where's Kayden, I wanna dance with him." I slurred, looking around for the younger version of Gabriel.

"Oh, no. He'll get the wrong idea." He protested.

Grinning, I ran a hand through his silky hair. I've been dying to do that for so long. . . "You're just jealous," I said with determination, pouting out my lower lip. "You wanna dance with me."

He put his hands on my hips as I teetered. Damn these bumpy floors. Nick should really check this out. "Lexxa, you are so drunk. You shouldn't have any more. . ." 

I ignored him, moving closer and putting my hands around his neck. "I like it, though," I mumbled, feeling drowsy all of a sudden. My head on his shoulder, he lifted me up, carrying me out of the party and into the backyard.

"What are you doing?" I asked, laying down in the grass next to him.

"Sobering you up," he said, leaning over and taking my hand. I felt a fluttery feeling fill inside me, the warmth creating sparks in my hands. I smiled drunkenly, laying my head on the ground and closing my eyes. 

"Goodnight, Gabriel," I muttered.

He chuckled. "Nope." I was suddenly straddled, his legs on either side of my waist . I was too exhausted to fight, though, and just opened my eyes lazily to stare at him. In the darkness, his face was shadowed, but those blue eyes were unmistakable. 

Once again, I was lost in those eyes, feeling a soft pull towards them. He cupped my cheek with one of his hands, breath fanning my face. "Sober yet?" I nodded, unable to break his gaze.

"Good." He leaned down just as a soft song started to play, the lyrics quiet and matching the mood of the summer night.

"I can feel a hot one, taking me down, for a moment I could feel the force..." 

I bit my lip, blood rushing to my cheeks slowly. His did, too, and his hand fell from my cheek to rest next to my head. 

"Fainted to the point of tears. . . And you were holding on to make a point," 

His face was so close to mine, our noses touching. I felt his weight leave me as he settled in the grass next to where I lay. Arms around my waist, he tugged me closer.

"What's the point?"

"Alexxa," He murmured. I said nothing, placing my hands on his chest to feel his beating heart. It was fast, but right now, everything was fast. My hands were shaking, breathing slightly ragged as I stared at him.

"I'm but a clean man, stable and alone man, make it so I won't have to try."

I don't know who moved closer first, but by now our noses were touching. "Alexxa," he repeated, but the hesitation in his eyes was almost completely gone. "Are you. . .okay?"

"The faces always stay the same, So I face the fact that I'm just fine."

The music was softer, more distant. His hands gripped my hips in a light but firm hold, telling me he wasn't about to let go. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out, instead, I sang softly. 

"I said that I'm just fine," I murmured.

"I remember head down, head down, After you had found out, Manna is a hell of a drug. . ."

He swallowed hard, a new look in his eyes. I clutched onto his shirt, the alcohol from my breath clouded around us as I scooted closer, putting my legs between his and breathing in his scent. It was comforting and warm, making me never want to let go.

I felt his lips on my forehead, and then on my neck. I held his hair, opening my mouth at the shocks he sent to my body. He was taunting me, for sure, avoiding my lips. I felt him everywhere- my cheeks, neck, shoulder blades. And then he was whispering, how he couldn't kiss me for real yet, how this wasn't the right time and he wanted this to be special for me- For us.

All I wanted to do was press his lips to mine. But I respected him for that, for wanting to make our first kiss special. And so I let him leave a mark on my neck, and I let him hold me like wanted to. I let him kiss my nose, tug on my earlobe gently and make me shiver. I allowed myself to gasp at the feeling, although I felt so dirty upon doing so.

"Gabriel. . ." I muttered, seeing people start to come outside. "Gabriel, you have to stop." My voice was pleading, although it was so obvious the last thing I wanted him to do was just that.

"I knew you'd get her sometime, dickwad!" Kayden set himself down between us, the smell of whiskey heavy on his breath.

I was flustered, the damp feeling of his lips on my face lingering. He sat up, clearing his throat. "I think we should, um, go." He said, standing and brushing himself off.

He definitely sobered me up. The pain in my stomach was obvious and clear now, and I swore it might've been bleeding again. I slowly rose to my feet, holding on to Kayden's shoulder and trying not to wince with the pain. But it was obvious, and the lust that had once covered Gabriel's face turned to worry.

"What happened?" He asked, pulling me to the truck and taking my arms in his hands. I shook my head, looking down and trying to get out of his grip. He stood his ground, though, pressing his forehead to mind. "I need to know what hurts, Alexxa." His voice was gentle.

I shook my head. "It's nothing, please just let me go. . ."

He lifted me up, making me cry out in pain. I watched guilt pass over his features as he put me in the car so my back was against the passenger's side window and my legs hung over the driver's seat. "Oh, my god, you're bleeding."

I looked down in panic to see that blood was in fact dripping through my shirt. He was breathing heavily now, piling Kayden into the backseat and shutting the door. My legs rested on his lap, grazing the steering wheel as he drove.

"Don't take me home. . . Please," I pleaded quietly, pressing my hands to my stomach to stop the bleeding.

He looked at me, worried out of his mind. "Are you kidding? I'm taking you to the hospital, Alexxa."

I shook my head furiously. "No! Gabriel, don't, i'm so sorry. . ."

He met my eyes. "For what? You have nothing to be sorry for."

I reached over, as much as it hurt, and touched his hand with my fingertips. It immediately calmed him down a bit, face relaxing slightly. "For everything," I managed. "Please, Gabriel, just don't take me to the hospital."

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I'm so sorry."

- - - - - -

Lying in the hospital bed, I could feel the stitches on my stomach. There was an inflamed red mark on my neck, a hateful reminder of the passion that came out of Gabriel only three hours before. He sat next to my bed with Kayden, an ashen expression on his features. Luna and Sam were discussing release papers at the desk in the corner, tears rushing down her face.

"You have an hour to get your stuff, sweetheart," Sam squeezed my leg, trying to reassure me.

I glared hatefully at him. "I'm not going." I said with determination laced through every word.

He sighed. "Why is that?"

"Because!" I had a defense ready, it was all planned out in my mind. "I'm eighteen now- You can't force me into it. I'm a legal adult, and unless I go willingly, you can't make me." 

He sat down on the edge of the bed. "It is legal action that if you are threat to yourself, others, or the community that you can be restrained and taken by authorites to a safe place."

I was quiet for a moment. "Sam, please. . . "I was begging, now. "It didn't help me there, not at all. Sam. . . It made me worse. Don't do this."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry," He ran a hand through his hair. "Luna, will you get her things? Bring only toiletries and books."

She nodded, kissing my forehead. "I'll be right back," she murmured. "Kayden, I'll take you home."

He nodded, saying a grim goodbye and pecking my cheek. I nodded, in a haze, and waited until they left to lash out at Sam again.

"Why do you hate me?" I asked hoarsely, voice cracking. My hands were restrained, so I couldn't wipe the tears running down my face.

"Oh, Alexxa," he sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I don't hate you. You just need help, and the institution can give you the help you need."

I shook my head. "I was there for two years, Sam! Two, and I was only let out because I turned 18. What makes you think they would let me out again? I can't help them, Sam! They're a part of me! They always will be, so why try and take them away?" My voice got softer each line I spoke, as the amount of tears rushing down my face increased. "Sam. . . You don't have to do this. I don't need this."

He just shook his head. "I'm sorry, Alexxa." He stood. "I'll drive you in a few minutes."

With that, he left, leaving me and Gabriel alone. He rushed over to me, burying his face in the crook of my neck and wrapping me in a delicate hug. "I'm so sorry," He mumbled, voice laced with guilt and pain. "I was just trying to help, I didn't know they would put you back. . . I'm so sorry, Alexxa."

I shook my head, cursing these damn restraints. "It's okay," I whispered, and for once, it wasn't a lie. He was only trying to help, as deranged as it ended up. His shoulders shook as he laid in the hospital bed beside me, trying to hide the guilt he so clearly felt. "Shh. It's okay." I mumbled.

He shook his head. "No. . . It isn't. I'll make it better, I promise." I felt his hands slip into mine as I rested my head on his chest, letting the tears fall once more with the thought that this time I knew I wouldn't ever escape. In a soft tone, his lips started to move, finishing the song we had heard so loudly but was so faded in our minds from before. The memory seemed so far away, yet it was only hours before.

"And I need a little more, I think

Because enough is never quite enough. . ." I stopped him, moving my lips to his jaw and keeping them there as he never even skipped a beat, letting me listen as his quiet voice filled me with both despair and happiness.

"What's enough?

I took it like a grown man crying on the pavement,

Hoping you would show your face

But I haven't heard a thing you've said

In at least a couple hundred days

What'd you say?

I was in the front seat, shaking it out

And I was asking if you felt alright

I never want to hear the truth

I want to hear your voice, it sounded fine

My voice, it sounded fine

I could feel my heartbeat taking me down

And for the moment, I would sleep alright

Invading with a selfish fear

To keep me up another restless night

Another restless night

The blood was dry, it was sober

The feeling of audible cracks

And I could tell it was over

From the curtains that hung from your neck

And I realized that then you were perfect

And my teeth ripping out of my head

And it looked like a painting I once knew

Back when my thoughts weren't entirely intact

To pray for what I thought were angels.

Ended up being ambulances...

And the Lord showed me dreams of my daughter,

She was crying inside your stomach,

And I felt love again."

---

Awh. That was sad. :C She's going back to the institution... and Gabriel kinda kissed her

Too bad.

The song is I Can Feel A Hot One by Manchester Orchestra <3 The lyrics tell it all, my friends. 

Author confession #3: 

The latest i've ever written this is, well, now. It's four thirty in the morning, and my best friend is next to me, complaining about the lack of sleep she's getting. Honestly? I don't care! This chapter made me cry!

vvvRandom imput from her vvv

"Give me A U! Give me a T! Give me a A! Give Me A H! What does that spell? ABORTION CLINIC!"

xxxx.