the 1, Taylor Swift

Ron hadn't told anyone about the encounter with Hermione in the twins' kitchen. He figured that it was better that way – if no one knew, it wouldn't get back to Cassiah, and well... what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Except the guilt was eating him alive.

He couldn't help but think back to everything that had ever gone wrong in their relationship. Sure, at the time he had told himself that the breakup wasn't his fault, that he was taking care of his mental health, that he was doing the right thing by both of them by allowing them to grow as individuals before graduating. But was that really the truth?

He stared at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth the first morning back at Hogwarts after winter break. Was that really why he broke up with Cassie? Or was he lying to himself?

Cassiah was entirely emotionally and mentally capable of helping Ron take care of himself. He'd seen her nurse him back to health from that terrible flu he had last year that landed him in the infirmary and had rubbed his back as he puked over multiple toilets.

Deep down, he realized, he knew all along that Cassiah would care for him and his mental health with the same compassion and duty that she did for his physical health, and she wouldn't have minded. All she ever wanted to do was help him, whether it be with editing his papers or with pushing to the front of the line to buy butterbeer at a Chudley Cannons game. He had refused to let her.

While Cassie told him about her problems and her worries, he pushed his deep, deep down – probably a result of his stupid Gryffindor pride. He hadn't realized at the time that it was his own fault that he was so emotionally drained, that he was always giving her support and not receiving any in return. She had tried to be there for him time and time again, holding his hand and telling him that she was there to listen, but he had lied and said he didn't need to talk. That was on him, not her.

That was why he had really broken up with her, not all the vague bullshit he'd been telling her, himself, and everyone else for the last six months. He had let his falsely-attributed resentment towards her fester so much so that he had thrown away a relationship with a girl whom he, until a month before, saw everything with – a future, a family, a life. It was all his bloody fault for not communicating his needs with her, and he'd let her think that it was something she did, had offered her no explanation. Fuck, she deserved so much better.

But he still wanted her. Cassiah deserved a million times better, and yet a selfish part of him couldn't stand to release her. He knew that without his word, she wouldn't leave. Never completely. She would keep her promise to never leave, even if he'd shattered his own.

His mouth tasted metallic.

Ron glanced down and spat his toothpaste out into the sink, spitting red splotches onto toe porcelain. He'd taken his frustration out on his gums apparently.

He didn't care. He was too mad at himself for being so bloody stubborn and blind. He always knew he was self-destructive, but he had always promised himself that he wouldn't let those tendencies touch his relationship with Cassiah – the love and light of his life, the girl who he had known and told Harry was the one after just one date.

But those were the mistakes of the past. They didn't need to be the mistakes of his future.

If he was going to cling on to that selfish hope between him and Cassie that kept her hanging, he needed to do right by her to make it worth it.

He had to tell her the truth. Not just "not lie," but be forthcoming and outright with the truth. Sending her that letter about his true feelings was a good start, but it wasn't enough.

He had to tell her about what happened with Hermione. If she found out any other way, like from Hermione herself, it would be devastating to any chance they had at fixing things.

He had to tell her, and then everything would be okay.

____

Cassiah was just finishing tieing her tie when she heard a gentle knock at the door.

"Come in!" she called as she fixed her perfect Windsor, frowning in concentration as she sat in front of her vanity.

She heard his footsteps before he appeared in the mirror, and then she felt his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging her muscles.

Cassiah smiled sweetly at him in their reflection.

"Good morning," he grumbled in her ear as he continued softly rubbing at her shoulders.

"Good morning," Cassiah chirped in reply, quickly throwing her hair into a low bun and jumping out of her seat. "I don't need an escort to class, you know. I know my way around pretty well being a prefect and all," she teased.

"Is it a crime for me to want to talk a pretty girl to class?"

"No..." she blushed, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I have a prefect meeting during my first class this morning, but we can meet up before I have Potions if you insist on caring my books or whatever it is that your ego desires."

"Perfect," he said, flashing her a dazzling smile that admittedly made her heart skip a beat. He ran his eyes over her body and she grew flustered under the weight of his gaze. She liked being flustered like that.

"Like what you see?" she questioned, raising a challenging eyebrow.

He chuckled quietly, reaching out to tug lightly on the end of her tie. "How bad is it if you're ten minutes late to your meeting?"

Cassiah glanced at the clock on the wall. She was sure Draco would fill her in on what she missed. Merlin knows she'd saved his arse about a thousand times.

"Make it five and you have a deal."

____

Trust Ron to be late to class on the day when he desperately needed to be there earlier if he wanted to have time to talk to Cassiah. He had to stop smoking again after breakfast because he always ended up having to sprint.

When he finally got to the classroom, the door was closed and there was no one in the hallway.

"Dammit!" he shouted, kicking his foot into the door with all his force.

Who knew when he'd have another chance to run into her, especially since she'd spend the week before break explicitly avoiding him?

He leaned against the cool stone of the wall for a minute, catching his breath.

Then he heard footsteps coming down the hall, the clicking of heels indicated that it was a girl.

He whirled around and found Cassiah marching towards the door, her face set in stone upon seeing him.

"Cassie!" he shouted, stepping towards her, but she just stuck her chin up and kept her steady pace right past him and towards the door. So, she was still mad even after reading Ron's letter. That answered that question.

"Cassie, wait," he tried again, his tone desperate, "Please. I need to talk to you."

She whirled around with such an explosion of energy and abruptness that Ron startled.

"What could you possibly have to say to me?" Cassiah demanded, refusing to meet his gaze. Ron knew that was what she did when she was actually feeling like she might cry, but wanted to come across as angry and cold.

Ron stepped into her line of vision again, standing between her and the door.

"To... confess something. In this name of honesty."

"Ah, yes. Honesty," Cassiah retorted, pursing her lips, "I've gotten quite a bit of lovely honesty from you lately, so I think I'm quite satisfied. Or have you forgotten?"

Ron hadn't forgotten what she'd ordered that night in the bathroom. She didn't want to be his friend or his fuckbuddy or his girlfriend. But he didn't realize at the time that she didn't even want to speak.

Although he admitted, his words had been harsh with her that night. His honesty, in the past, had only hurt her. And now it might hurt her again. But, better for her to hear it from him than from anyone else.

"Hermione tried to kiss me," Ron blurted, running a nervous hand through his hair.

He could see all the things Cassiah wanted to say about Hermione swirl around in her head, but she said none of them. Instead, she stood there staring at him, arms crossed.

"I– It was at the twins' New Years' party and I was taking care of her cause she was drunk. I made us pizza and then at midnight she tried, and I mean, I almost let her but– but I didn't. That's what matters, is that I didn't kiss her and I'm relieved I didn't. I don't want to. Kiss her, I mean," he stuttered.

Cassiah nodded slowly as if taking in the information, and then raised her eyebrow at him.

"Why should I care?" she asked, and Ron was taken aback. He was expecting her full wrath.

"I'm not your girlfriend," Cassiah seethed through clenched teeth, "In fact, we're not even fucking. And even if we were, we wouldn't be exclusive."

The words hit Ron like a truck. She had never been so frank with him.

But didn't miss the way her eyes shined just slightly with tears. No one else would've noticed. They would've assumed that she was heartless and angry at that moment. But not Ron. He saw right through it. She was emotional.

"Okay," he said quietly, nodding his silent understanding of their terms. He would respect her boundaries. That was the only way to fix things between them.

Then he heard another set of footsteps coming around the corner and saw blonde-brown hair and a lanky build coming up behind Cassiah.

____

She felt his arms wrap around her from behind and spoon her as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

Except she didn't feel giddy anymore the way she had this morning or at the party or at the following days at Malfoy Manor. All she felt was the embarrassment that Ron was seeing her this way.

She blushed furiously, wriggling slightly under his grasp, but he didn't pick up on her anxiety. She felt Ron's eyes observing them, could feel the shock coming off of him in waves.

"Ron," she said, tempering her tone in front of the other boy, "This is... Teddy."

"I know who he is, Cassiah."

She cringed, suddenly wanting to crawl out of her skin. She hadn't planned on going public with Theodore for a while. It felt good to show Ron that she had other options, but she wasn't ready for the following discussion. Plus, she was pretty sure if the two boys stayed in proximity to each other, they'd start swinging fists. She had no doubt Ron would, given his hatred for most Slytherins.

"Teddy," she said sweetly, glancing over her shoulder as she finally left his grasp, "I just realized that I left my Potions textbook back in my room. Would you mind going to grab it for me?" She flashed him a dazzling smile, hoping that he wouldn't see through it.

He didn't.

"Of course," Theodore replied. Cassiah noted the way that he caught Ron's gaze for a moment, a silent conversation between the two of them, before sauntering away.

She and Ron were both silent until Theodore was out of earshot.

"You're dating some else," Ron stated matter-of-factly.

Cassiah could do nothing but stare straight ahead of her.

"You're dating Theodore Nott. Not like that stupid date you went on with Ernie."

Was she dating Theodore Nott? They were really just getting to know each other. They'd been in Slytherin together for years, but he was shy and mostly kept to himself, aside from a couple of close friends he had in Ravenclaw. Cassiah wasn't exactly sure if they were dating, or if she even wanted to have a boyfriend, but she also didn't want to tell him that she and Theodore were just fuckbuddies.

"Yes," she said decidedly. It was easier to say yes than to explain that she had traded one half-relationship based on sex for another. Plus, she got to win. Ron had broken up with her and she had been devastated and humiliated, but now she finally had the upper hand.

"Why?" he asked.

Why? Was he bloody kidding her asking why?

"Because I had to move on, Ron," she roared. "Because I couldn't sit around waiting for you to realize you fucked up. Because I couldn't let you hurt me again." She shook her head, adrenaline and rage pumping hard through her veins.

She took a deep breath. "There has to be life after us, Ron. After you. Because you made it so."

She didn't wait to hear his response before gathering smoothing over her skirt and her robes, beginning to walk away, unhurried and confident.

"Tell Snape that mine and Draco's prefect meeting ran late," she stopped to say over her shoulder. Then she turned back to him fully and caught his eye. "And Ron... I'm not sorry. But I do hope that you understand. Maybe someday we can be friends."

She gave him that same offer that he had granted her that fateful day six months ago and she meant it. If Ron could give her and her boundaries that respect that she deserved, she would be his friend. But she would no longer be a girl at the mercy of a boy who wouldn't give her what she needed.

She watched Ron gulp and nod and knew at that moment that he truly did understand and that he wasn't wanting an apology. She had nothing to apologize for. He had released her from him months ago, and now she was simply releasing herself. Now it was he who would have to miss her.

__________________

heartbreak, how are ya? vv proud of Cass for finally standing up for herself, though. we love communicating.

Please don't be too mad at me. Things will get better for them. As a terrible person who I used to be friends with says: when we have bad and sad days, it just means that the ones coming can only be better! haha

thank you so much for almost 14k reads, and #7 on ron weasley x reader, #1 ron x oc . holy shit!

thank you for all the love and fun comments and support,

xx

jenna