《I wanna be yours... -ALEX TURNER-》37. Going back to 505

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Okay I lied, the last chapter wasn't the end

(I truly owe you guys an apology oops, sorry, I am aware of the fact that it's been half a year since the last chapter came out)

4 months later...

I knocked on a dark wooden door. It had a number plate on it, saying: "505"

This was his apartment.

The door swung open.

"Hey Bel, great to see you again!"

I smiled as Alex welcomed me into his new apartment in Sheffield.

"Yeah, it's been a while hasn't it? Apart from all the phone calls of course." I said while taking of my coat. "Lovely apartment you have here."

Alex smiled. "Here let me hang that up for you." He grabbed my coat.

"Oh, thanks." I smiled. "How was the uh.. the Tranquility base hotel and casino tour?"

He chuckled. "Well, it was great! I am really proud of the whole thing, really."

"As you should be." I looked him in the eyes. "I am glad you're back."

He looked to the ground. "You have no idea how much I wanted to see you again." He smiled. "The last time was back in London right?."

I touched his arm, which made him look me into the eyes. "That was such a fun hangout."

Alex tilted his head. "It was, wasn't it? Too bad about the previous evening."

"That's okay, I was just shocked to see you again I guess." I said.

"No, you weren't."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

Alex shrugged his shoulders. "You weren't just shocked to see me, you fucking hated me."

I chuckled. "Well, yeah, but I forgive you."

Alex got a little closer. "I don't deserve that."

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"Alex, you're a good person. I know you are."

"But you don't trust me." He said.

I looked down. "I want to trust you, but in order to do that... I need to know what happened."

Alex looked away. "I don't know what to say."

"Did you love me?" I asked.

"Always have." Alex looked me in my eyes.

"Then why did you do it?" I whispered.

"I-.. I wasn't myself, literally." He said.

"What do you mean?"

Alex grabbed my hand. "Remember the night after the Alexa thing, you found me in my apartment with.. you know, the cuts on my arm?"

My eyes started watering. "Alex did you-..."

"No, I-.. I wanted to." He sighs. "I missed you the moment I left for LA, and so when I spent weeks in a house without you, I started having really bad thoughts. People noticed, and... LA being LA, they gave me acces to substances."

"Substances? As in.. drugs?" I asked.

"Yes, unfortunately." Alex said. "And one night, we had this party, but I was only thinking of you so I couldn't have fun. So I went for the drugs, but, I took it too far and blacked out. The next morning, I woke up on the couch with the girl you saw."

"Alex that's horrible. I am so sorry." I gave him a hug. "I didn't know that was going on."

"Don't be sorry, you couldn't know." He stroked my hair while hugging me back. "I didn't want you to know that I was doing bad, I didn't want to make you worried."

"Fuck..." I closed my eyes.

"I am sorry for not telling you the truth."

"It's okay, I am glad you did now." I pulled away from the hug. "I forgive you."

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"Thank you for forgiving me Bella."

"I always will." I said. "I swear to god, we could've prevented all these fights and sadness if you just told me the truth.. you dumbass"

Alex laughed. "I couldn't tell you the truth, you already hated me, and even blocked me on everything."

I sighed. "Okay maybe I was being a bit dramatic, but you were an ass in my opinion back then."

Alex gave me a kiss on my cheek. "I know, I'm sorry."

I smiled as my cheeks turned red.

Alex smiled a bit. "So, do you want a cup of tea?"

.....

We walked into, what seemed to be, his living room. It was grand but cozy. In the corner of my eye, I spotted his vinyl record collection.

He noticed that, obviously.

"You can check it out if you want to, you know that right?" He smiled

"I mean, if you insist." I joked.

Alex laughed and walked behind me.

I looked trough every record and smiled.

"Bel?" Alex said.

I looked behind me, seeing Alex standing there.

"Yes?" I asked.

Alex took a deep breath. "Do you think we could make it work again?"

"Make what work Al?" I asked.

Alex looked down and then stared deeply in my eyes. "You know... make us work again?"

I stepped away from the vinyl record and took Alex' hand. "I think there is only one way to find that out." I smiled.

"So you're ready to try it again?" Alex smiled really widely.

I smiled too. "Yeah, to be honest, I've never stopped loving you." I looked down. "I just had to push those feelings away because you had hurt me that badly, but you were so patient and now I know that I can trust you again."

"You have no idea how much I've wanted you back." Alex laid his fingers on my chin and lifted my head to look right into his eyes.

I smiled softly.

"I love you."

"And I love you."

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