Hi guys, I'm travelling this Christmas, so here's an early Christmas oneshot to make up for it. Hope you like it! Sorry I haven't been updating that often, hopefully it will go back to weekly updates.

I am Dazai Osamu. I have brown hair and slightly red - tinged eyes.I have defected from the Port Mafia and joined the Armed Detective Agency for my friend Odasaku. And I left Chuuya, blowing up his car as a parting gift.

Perhaps it wasn't the best idea, but I certainly went off whith a bang.

I shouldn't have left Chuuya though, even if I left a parting gift.

He started hating me.

He started ignoring me.

He started despising me.

He wouldn't give me as much time as he used to. He wouldn't even look at me. Even when we were alone, unless I started the conversation, he wouldn't talk to me. When he did, Chuuya would say only few words, not tolerating my mischievous jabs or simply ignoring them.

Why do I feel so empty?

Why do I feel so alone?

Why can't things ever be the same again?

I call him Chibi, Shorty, Hatrack, Munchkin.

I call him My Darling, sweetheart, mad hatter and pumpkin.

He just responds.

He doesn't even get angry at me anymore.

What is wrong with me?

What have I done and messed up so badly?

I wish for a day when we are together again. And my hopes were lifted when we finally made eye contact . But, sank as he went back to his usual, empty treatment.

I tried everything I could. Suprised him with gifts, sang his favourite tunes, baked him a cake... What can I do?

Did I finally go too far?

Did we just grow apart?

Chuuya talks to the others in a manner he used to talk to me. Why won't he talk to me like that again?

Did I ramble on too much about another person?

Or made him feel that my words about love was all lies?

Whatever it was, I hope that this Christmas, we'll learn to smile at each other again.

I just wish for Chuuya to look at me. To talk to me more, and go back to what we were.

I'm so sorry Chuuya. Please, forgive me and let's be together again.

Sorry that it was quite angsty if you were expecting a fluffy chapter for Christmas. Spoiler alert, they do make up. Anyway, Merry Christmas!