《Playing Poker》"What Happened This Morning?"
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"You haven't eaten all day. Do you at least want a bagel?"
Rayland lay in bed with her head facing the wall, Liam's words echoing in her head. She didn't know what was wrong. She was supposed to be happy and yet here she was wallowing in sorrow.
Liam watched for a second more before turning out of the room. This made her feel even worse because she knew all these people cared about her but she couldn't give them the time of day. Not because she didn't want to but because she couldn't.
She couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, and sometimes she couldn't even breathe. She couldn't even bring herself to get her inhaler from the other side of the room, she just wheezed from her bed until the feeling passed.
Everyone had come to see her, even Blake. It's been almost two weeks since everything happened and they are civil but not friends. She was pushing everyone away and she didn't even know why.
-
"Hello?" Rayland felt a hand wave in front of her face and out of instinct, it was slapped away. Jaylen held his hand close to his chest and pouted.
"You didn't have to hit me, I was just about to tell you it's time to go."
"I'm walking." She replied laconically.
"You do know it's like a fifty minute walk right? School starts in twenty minutes." Jaxon reminded her yet she didn't mind.
"It's not like you care. You probably hope I get hit by a car." She said with such nonchalance that everybody stared in disbelief. She doesn't know what possessed her to say something like that and now of all times.
"Pumpkin, why would you say something like that?" Liam asks, shocked at her words.
"Oh, don't act like you're such a saint." She rolled her eyes and tossed her backpack over her shoulder, "See ya." She says as she walks out of the door, leaving the rest of her family to process her words.
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"What did you guys do now?" Hayden groggily graces everyone with his presence. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes before glaring everyone down.
"I don't know what happened- it was out of nowhere. I've never seen her like that."
Liam could only wonder what happened to Ray. It was unlike anything he's seen from her. He would know if she had a valid reason to be mad with him but all he's done was take care of her these past few days. Even after everything she's been through, she's never been one to take out her anger on others.
Another thing he didn't know was that anger wasn't driving her actions, it was sadness.
Spending hours in her bed gave her a lot of time to think about everything. As she reflected, she was mad at herself. How could she be so weak to forgive everyone so quickly? They knew her situation and yet still sabotaged her chances of having a family. She never got to have that luxury and here they were trying to rip it away from her.
"Care to explain what happened this morning?"
Rayland remained silent.
"If you don't want to, it's fine, I just want you to know you can talk to me." Paul didn't let Ray walk back home. He insisted that he give her a ride home for her own safety and for some possible answers.
But she couldn't. Her step-father was partially to blame. Paul's absence was more of a problem than let on. If he was more involved in his sons' lives, they wouldn't have felt as threatened by her presence. He couldn't have predicted something like this would happen but it shouldn't be an excuse.
He also didn't pick up on his wife's behavior. There's no way he thought it was normal for an aunt to constantly insult and pick on her niece. Was he that uninvolved with his family or did he just choose to ignore it? This question alone made Ray hold a grudge.
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As soon as Paul pulled up to the house, Ray hopped out of the car and up to her room, giving no room for discussion.
Now, Rayland was lost in her own thoughts, the most dangerous place to be. She couldn't help but wonder where all these feelings were coming from. Even after everything that happened with Blake, she didn't feel this much resentment. It was like all their actions were hitting her in the face so she could finally notice it and it hurt.
"Sombra!"
Rayland almost didn't notice her bestfriend staring her in the face. The first genuine smile graced her face in a few days as she hugged him.
"What are you doing here? How'd you get past the firing squad downstairs?"
"Because I know you and I know when something's wrong. And the triplets practically begged me to come here to find out what's going on." Weston said with a slight playfulness in voice. Rayland couldn't believe what she was hearing.
Did they really put the grudge past them to help her? Did they care about her that much?
Are you really going to forget everything they did to you?
The voices.
She hadn't heard them in a while. She had a hopeful feeling they got tired of bothering her but clearly not tired enough. They gradually stopped after she started medication. After she moved, she hadn't bothered to find a new therapist. Once she ran out, she figured she could handle it herself.
"Rayland!"
"What?" She asked confusedly while her bestfriend looked at her in concern.
"What do you mean 'what'? I've been calling for you like- the past thirty seconds. What's going on?" A look of disbelief crossed his face.
"I'm sorry, I was distracted." She shrugged, "I don't see what the big deal is, everything is fine."
Fine; what a funny word. It's never used for its real purpose, it always has a way of disguising true feelings. Rayland would disagree with this statement. If she said she was fine, it meant she was fine. But maybe her definition of this silly word was different than everyone else's.
"Then why did you not get out of bed for three days straight, snap at Liam this morning, and refuse your favorite food?" He argued while Rayland looked shocked. How the hell did he know all of that? And how the hell was she supposed to convince him nothing was wrong?
"I was tired, I already texted him to apologize, and I just wasn't in the mood. Anything else you wanna interrogate me on or are we done?" She plopped down on her bed with her arms crossed, hoping he would get the hint.
Completely ignoring the hint, he plops down next to her.
"Who are you trying to fool? I've known you since we were children." She desperately wanted him to leave so she ignored him. After a few more attempts, he eventually gave up.
"Okay fine, have it your way but just so you know, I'll be back." She didn't care about that last part, she just wanted him off her case.
"Whatever, loser. I already told you nothing's wrong."
Weston rolled his eyes but walked out the door.
All of a sudden, Rayland started to cry. The weight of everything that she's been through came crashing down. Two important people in her life left, she was abused, hated by her old and new found family, and was shot.
Holding all of that in, feeling like you can't talk to anybody about it can break a person. Not to mention her depression makes the pain feel unbearable. It seemed out of nowhere but the pressure eventually had to boil over.
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baby hotline | yandere dsmp
"love me and me only"|started: june 9, 2022 at 12:32 am|ended: n/a|finished editing: n/a
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