ey, this is Gon."

Killua slumped onto the bed. He stared at the wall across from him. That momentary existential crisis had knocked the breath out of him—he couldn't recover that quickly. He put a hand to his forehead as he heard Gon's voice in his ear again, hesitant and quiet, "Killua?"

Killua cleared his throat and rasped out, "Yeah. Yeah, it's me."

"Killua!" Gon screamed so loud he had to tug the phone away with a wince. "Killua, I—! I'm so sorry—I'm so fucking sorry, please don't be mad at me anymore. I don't like it when you're mad at me—"

"Gon, shut up," Killua said, voice shaking. The silence that ensued reminded him that he could barely talk as it was. He folded over his knees, his elbow on his leg, heart pounding in his chest. "When you—When you didn't p-pick up right away I thought—Never mind."

"No, tell me."

Killua plucked together his resolve from where it had shattered at his feet. He cleared his throat and said, "I thought you gave up waiting for me to call."

"You could've called months from now and I'd still be waiting for it," he said. Killua opened his mouth to say something, but it wavered with his quivering lips. He put his closed fist to his mouth as Gon said, "But I mean, by then you'd be back on campus. I'd hunt you down."

Killua laughed. He smiled against his fingers and said, "Oh," because he felt like the pieces of his resolve were haphazardly strewn together with Scotch tape, teetering on the edge of combustion.

"Killua," Gon said, and fuck it if Killua wasn't already tearing up, "I really like you. Like like you. I'd say the word but I don't know if either of us are ready for that."

"Y-Yeah," Killua whispered.

"I don't want us to end just 'cause I'm an idiot. But I know you deserve someone smarter than me and more—more—"

"Don't tell me what I deserve," Killua said.

"Right, sorry—"

"Stop apologizing, idiot," Killua huffed. He rubbed his hand up the side of his face and to his forehead. "I- I already forgive you."

"Then will you come back to Sigma?"

Killua bit his lip. If he comeback now, Gon would be gone anyway. Bowl Week started tomorrow. Gon probably had his bags packed and his tickets printed. But... he'd get to work. He'd work for the long shifts and build his savings through January.

But if he stayed here, in San Diego, Killua could have a real vacation. He'd get to hang out with Zushi, and the two of them could start apartment hunting and scheduling tours.

"I-I don't know," he confessed. "I'll look at ticket prices—"

"I'll pay for your bus," Gon promised. "If you leave now I could see you before I have to go—"

"I'll look at tickets for after New Years," Killua said. "I dropped fifty bucks on the tickets here. I might as well enjoy it."

"Right, sorry. Yeah, you should hang with Zushi Roll and I'll just—I'll wait for you to come back," Gon said.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"I'll still pay for your ticket back," Gon said, and Killua had a feeling it was so that Gon would know the exact time Killua's bus would come in.

Killua laughed and sighed, saying, "Fine, whatever. I won't argue with that. I'll let you know what day and time I'm thinking."

Gon agreed with an eager, "Yay! Okay, okay. Text me and—fucking download Snapchat again because I miss your face. I want to see you."

Killua flopped back on the bed and huffed, "I'm—I'm not downloading Snapchat again."

"Why not?! I miss your cute little bitmoji on my best friends list."

"I—I was on your best friends list?" Killua said.

"Of course! Please, Killua?" Gon begged.

"I'll think about it," he said.

A moment of silence passed. Killua ran a hand through his hair as he listened to Gon's breath in his ear. His heart fluttered in his chest when Gon said, "You deleted your Snapchat."

"Yeah."

"Because of me?" he whispered.

Killua frowned and sat up. "Y-Yeah, I guess." He really only used Snapchat to talk to Gon, Knuckle, and Zushi. Sure, he had people from high school on it and (reluctantly) Illumi. He left Milluki on pending over a year ago. He and Alluka were too paranoid to even add each other.

"I won't put you through that again," Gon whispered, and the promise made Killua's throat tighten.

Killua thought he might sob if he spoke, but instead, his voice came out tight, clipped, and deadly. "Good. You better not."

He heard Gon take a sharp breath. "Yes, sir," he said, borderline purring it.

"Don't make it weird," Killua said.

"It's not weird if it's sexual."

"Freecss."

Gon groaned and said, "Say my name again."

Killua pushed to his feet. Amusement dissolved the tightness behind his eyes as he rubbed at his collarbone and said, "I'm not saying anything without a 'please'."

"Please say my name again, Killua. I'm going through withdrawals over here."

"Fine," Killua laughed. He brought the mic closed to his lips as he whispered, "Freecss."

Gon groaned again and Killua snickered to himself. At last, Gon breathed, "I missed your voice. I want my hands in your hair again—I want to lick the salt off of your neck. I want you so badly, Killua."

Killua's entire face flushed as his brain short-circuited. He didn't expect any of that, and now, thoroughly flustered, all he could manage was a weak, "Don't say things like that."

"When you didn't show up on Saturday—and then when you disappeared from my contacts—I lost my shit. I ran the mile to Hatsu in four and a half minutes."

"Jesus," Killua breathed. He'd never ran a mile faster than eight minutes. "Isn't the fastest record three-forty-five?"

"Something like that, yeah. I bet I'd beat it if you were at the finish line," Gon said.

Killua snorted. "We should test it. Do you have access to the track field?"

"I can get access. When do you wanna do it?"

They organized a time and date to time Gon's mile run. In the process, they volunteered the efforts of Knuckle to help clock the run. Killua couldn't stop laughing the more Gon volunteered his teammates. It sounded like they'd make an entire event out of it, and Killua couldn't wait.

Eventually, though, an hour went by and Killua knew the Umis would be back soon. Before leaving the call, Gon demanded that Killua look at tickets so he could know just how soon he could see Killua again. The instant they hung up, Killua flipped open his laptop and brought up the Greyhound website.

Since Killua had no intentions of celebrating Christmas, he went out for the day and let the Umis do their thing. He posted himself at the beach pavilion where he could sit in the shade and rifle through his emails from his next semester professors. In the midst of ordering textbooks, he recalled Gon's request to re-upload Snapchat.

He held up his phone with a frown. Snapchat had been on his main dock and now, the dock looked scarce without it. He reinstalled it then and, upon creating a new account, first re-added Zushi and Leorio.

A recommended account appeared in relation to both of them.

"Kurapika?" Killua said, raising his eyebrow at Leorio's username affiliated with them.

Killua added Kurapika.

🤙⛓ accepted your friend request!

12:51 🔪 is typing...

12:52 How do you know Leorio??

12:55🤙⛓is typing...

12:56 O we dated last year

12:57 Excuse me wHAT

12:57 Yeah we're in the same year, same major

12:58 He's your RA right?

12:58 UH YEAH

12:58 I can't picture you two dating

12:59 Yeah he was really loud even when nothing was wrong

12:59 Lowkey not good for my anxiety

13:00 Yeah I feel that

13:00 I hear he's a good RA tho

13:00 Yeah he is

13:01 So did you know about his live laugh love collection?

13:01 Yeah

13:01 And you still dated him?

13:02 I don't judge people based on their paraphernalia preferences

13:02🤙⛓is typing...

13:03 Also you should know that Lush asked if I knew about you and Freecss

13:03 ??? Lush ???

13:04 Zushi

13:04 Imma kick autocorrect's ass one of these days

13:05 Yeah I was curious as to why a soap company cared about my relationship status

13:05 And yeah Zushi did me a huge solid I owe him, like, a lifetime supply of boba now

13:06 So Zushi knows now?

13:06 Yeah I still have to have The Talk with him

13:06 About boundaries and shit

13:07 You make it sound like y'all are a thrupple

13:07 Excuse me a WHAT???

13:08 You know like a threesome relationship

13:08 A thrupple

13:09 I regret even questioning it

13:09 I just want that word GONE from my mental dictionary

13:10 Are you three not a thrupple then?

13:10 NO Zushi's STRAIGHT

13:10 Huh.

13:10 I mean I thought I was straight

13:11 How does that even work when you have no gender

13:11 Right that's what I'm thinking

13:13 I thought about it and I really don't have an answer for you. I guess my sexuality is most accurately defined by my partiality towards non-aggressive men?

13:14 So not Leorio

13:15 Or the entire female population

13:15 Yeah that just about does it

13:16 Do you think about that a lot?

13:18 What, my sexuality?

13:18 Yeah

13:18 Recently I have

13:19 I only think about it when it becomes relevant

13:19 God that sounds like the dream

13:19 It's constantly on my mind

13:20 That's because you're a hormonal teenager

13:20 Guilty 😝

___

🏈🤼‍♂️ accepted your friend request!

13:25 🏈🤼‍♂️ is typing...

13:25 Send me a pic of your face 😘🙏

13:26 Open snap

13:26 🏈🤼‍♂️ screenshot your snap!

13:27 😩👌

13:27 You're so fuckin extra dude

13:28 Open snap

13:28 🏈🤼‍♂️ screenshot your snap!

13:29 Fuck me daddy 😍

13:30 🔪 is typing...

13:30 I'm

13:30 Repulsed

13:31 O right daddy issues

13:31 🤮

13:31 😀

13:32 O shit

13:32 Fuck

13:32 What

13:32 gtg

13:32 What??? What happened??

13:43 Killua???

Killua snapped his laptop shut and pocketed his phone. If he moved fast, he could vanish off the side of the pavilion and they'd never see him, but it didn't change the fact that they were here and they were heading in this direction. The odds made it so glaringly obvious that Killua wanted to chuck his phone into the ocean and not look back.

So, Killua stood and shouldered his backpack and went to stand on the edge of the pavilion steps as his father and brother walked up the stone walkway from the curb where a rented Maserati sat, parked and glistening in the sun.

"How did you find me," Killua said, though he already knew the answer.

His father raised his own cellphone up and gave it a little shake. His father had the physique of a goddamn rugby player and the hair of a Greek god—in other words, he looked like Zeus incarnate. His intimidatingly stoic expression wasn't nearly as threatening as Illumi's ghostly impassivity, but it still put Killua on edge. The both of them combined, standing mere feet from Killua, made him sick to his stomach.

Killua narrowed his eyes at Illumi, who tipped his head to the side as an ocean breeze tugged at his long, black hair. "We stopped by your dorm the other day," he said.

"Yeah, I wasn't there," Killua said.

"We still have to talk about registration," his father said. Killua shivered at his father's gruff, deep voice. His father pocketed his phone and took the last few steps up to tower over Killua, who took to staring at his father's chest rather than those eerie, crystalline eyes. Killua swallowed hard, every muscle in his body tight as his father put his hand on Killua's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Take a seat, son."

"I have nothing to say to you," Killua said, shrugging his father's hand off. He took a step back, fully aware of Illumi in the corner of his eye, watching with those wide, unblinking eyes.

He watched his father turn to Illumi and dismiss him to the car. Illumi stared Killua down for a moment before turning and walking away.

Killua swallowed hard at the tense way his father watched him. "I've made my decision. I'm sticking with it."

"Your brother was accepted into YU Law," his father said. Killua's jaw could have creaked with how tightly he clenched his teeth. "Do you really not care about his ambitions?"

"Alluka does just as well as me in school," Killua ground out. "She can manage to run the firm better than me."

"Alluka is not inheriting the firm," his father stressed.

"Neither am I," Killua snapped. He met his father's eyes, fists clenched at his sides. "I'm eighteen. I'm not your son anymore."

His father took a step towards him. Killua backed into the pavilion railing, eyes wide as his father pegged him with a furious sneer and said, "As long as you are on my insurance, hold my family name, you will do as I say."

"I-I'll go on the student insurance plan. I'll pay for it myself. I'll cut you off—"

"You will always be my son."

Killua froze at the tension in his father's voice. It wasn't anger—he'd felt his father's rage before. It was nothing he heard from his father before that moment.

His father's eyes flitted between Killua's as he laid a hand on Killua's shoulder, over his heavy backpack strap. He lowered himself to Killua's eye level and stressed, each word piercing itself into Killua's heart. "You will always be a Zoldyck, Killua. I just want what's best for you."

"Th-This is what's best for me," Killua whispered. His father had never used this tactic on him. What was that shit he learned in English class? Pathos? His father was more of an ethos-logos type of guy. Killua didn't know what to make of the sadness in his father's otherwise unchanging voice.

"You're just a child, you don't know—"

"I'm not a child and I do know," he insisted.

They stared into each others' eyes until Killua felt his eyes glaze over. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and brushed his father's hand off of his shoulder. "You can't convince me, Dad. And I know I can't convince you. I'm not—I don't like the person you want me to be at law school. Don't my ambitions mean anything to you?"

His father knelt down in front of Killua. It made Killua feel like a child again, holding his quivering lip between his teeth as his father looked him in the eye and said, "Of course I care about your ambitions, Killua, but I also care about your future. I want your future to be with your family."

"My future will be fine without you."

His father turned to look out past the pavilion steps, opposite where Illumi sat in the car, and adjacent to where Killua stood, frozen, against the railing. Killua dug his nails into the railing and watched his father's heavy brow furrow over his light eyes. Like Killua, his father depended on sunglasses. Their light, blue eyes made it hard to tolerate the glare of the sun on the ocean waves, or the bright white sand along the San Diego beach.

In some small ways, Killua was a lot like his father.

His father turned back with a sigh and said, "I can see I won't be able to convince you. I suppose that's my fault for keeping my distance this semester. I wish I would have let your mother convince me to move to Yorknew."

"The firm is in Kukuroo and Seattle. Why would you move to Yorknew?" Killua said, frowning.

"We wanted to be near you, in case you needed anything at YU," he said. Killua nearly spoke again, but his father was already rising to his feet. "I'll be leaving a deposit in your checking account later this week. It should be in time for your tuition payment."

With that, his father slipped his sunglasses back on and stepped down to the pavement. Killua stared at the spot his father once knelt in. It felt like someone had their fist around his heart and lungs, holding his breath in until he heard the Maserati's driver door slam shut. He turned to look back at the curb where his father pulled away and out of view.

It was as if Killua had hallucinated the entire interaction. Like his father and brother had not, in fact, traveled to San Diego just for a chat.