ew Years was spent with the Umis, a bottle of champaign, homemade potstickers, and the Super Bowl. Killua and Zushi fell asleep on the couch shortly after the New Years' ball dropped and when Killua woke up in the middle of the night, Zushi's mom had strewn a blanket over him and propped up the foot rest for him. Killua nestled in with a smile, warm and cozy, and oh-so relieved.

Zushi drove Killua to the Greyhound stop that next morning. They weren't hungover, by any means, but they both knew that at this hour of the morning, the entirity of Sigma was probably a shitshow. The guys were due to arrive in Yorknew before the ball drop, which meant that a New Years party was bound to happen to the wee hours of the morning.

Zushi yawned as he parked the car outside of the station and turned to Killua. "I can't believe Gon agreed to an arrival time before noon."

"You and I both know he's going to wake the fuck up and down three shots of espresso," Killua said as he propped open the door. He dragged his duffle out of the back with a huff and a sigh, swinging it over his shoulder. He leant back in to look at Zushi, who had his head tipped back against the headrest, smiling at Killua. "What?"

"Nothing. You're just my entertainment for the year, is all," he said.

Killua rolled. "Glad I could stir up some drama for you."

"It was worth it," Zushi said. "Now I know how to torment Gon to get him to do what I want."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Killua laughed.

Zushi leant over with a maniacal grin and said, "Tell you to cockblock him."

Killua shoved his hand in Zushi's face and pushed him away. They were both laughing, though, and Killua's cheeks hurt from smiling so wide—and also, maybe, from the sunburn. "Bye, Zushi. And thanks for letting me stick around for so long."

"Hey, you should come for Spring Break! My parents love you," he said. Killua agreed to it before shutting the door and stepping back. He waved as Zushi pulled away from the curb and down the road.

On the three hour trip north, Killua stuck his earbuds in and slept. When he awoke in Yorknew, he felt momentarily groggy and disoriented, but that promptly vanished when he recognized the campus in the far distance stretched along one of the river channels. Killua straightened in his seat as the bus pulled into the Yorknew facility and, excitement buzzing like electricity in his chest, looked for Gon around the facility.

The bus came to a stop and Killua was one of the first to emerge. The air was colder and lighter here, latent with moisture from the fog that rolled in from the ocean. Killua let out a shuddering breath as he looked down the stretch of bus stops before crossing the street to the building.

The Yorknew station was connected to the city's entire public transit system. The gallery hall branched off to the light rail and busses as well as the subway. Killua's footsteps echoed down the marble flooring, his heart thrumming in his throat as he searched for Gon Freecss' head of fluffy black hair among the few heads in the room.

And then, he saw someone stand across the atrium.

"Gon?" Killua said. Even if he said it quietly, it echoed.

Sure enough, it was Gon-fucking-Freecss, the freshmen running back on the winning Top Ten team, and he was vaulting over chairs and sprinting to where Killua didn't even bother moving. He dropped his duffle so that when Gon came skidding up, there was nothing holding him back from throwing his arms around Gon's torso and sweeping with the momentum that sent them spinning around. Gon's feet left the ground and skidded for purchase as their circle came to a quick stop.

Gon's hair tickled Killua's cheek. He squeezed Gon tightly around the waist, his eyes shut to the smell of Gon's cologne so close to him. Neither of them said anything, and the strangeness of it—of Gon's sudden muteness and Killua's inability to speak—had Killua's grip tightening further. Likewise, Gon held on tight and fast, his face tucked against Killua's neck and the arms he wrapped around it.

A few moments passed before Killua slackened his grip. He dropped his hands to Gon's waist, but when Gon didn't move, Killua stayed still. He breathed in Gon's smell and opened his eyes, saying, "Hey, I'm back."

"H-Hey," Gon said, and Killua's breath caught in his throat at the hitch on Gon's voice.

Killua pulled back, forcing Gon's arms to loosen as he said, "Are you—? Are you crying?"

Gon dropped his head and rubbed his arm over his eyes. "No," he sniffed. "I just really missed you. Cut me some slack."

Killua would have laughed if Gon didn't look so pathetic wiping tears from his eyes. Killua leant over and pressed his lips to Gon's forehead before reeling him over to the bathroom. He picked up his duffle on the way, only to drop it against the wall next to the restroom sinks. He yanked a few towels from the dispenser and handed them to Gon, who blew his nose. His breath was still irregular and he still looked so pathetic that Killua couldn't help it.

He reeled Gon in for another hug. He put his arms around Gon's neck as Gon clutched at the front of his sweater, his breath shuddering out of him as he tried desperately to stop crying. Killua frowned as he pushed his cheek to Gon's hair and rubbed his hands through it, lacing his fingers between the soft, black strands framing Gon's ears.

"C-Can I ask you something?" Gon asked. "It's important."

"Yeah, sure."

Killua's chest tightened as Gon took a moment to breathe and gather his voice back. Eventually, Gon whispered, "Please don't threaten to break up with me again unless you mean it. I-It was fine before, b-but I don't think I could take it lightly after this even if you are kidding."

Well fuck, there goes my heart, Killua thought.

"I won't joke about it anymore," he promised, shaking his head. He thought about the Sigma get together in the quad all those weeks ago and wondered if Gon took him seriously back then when Killua would joke around. He thought about the frat party when Killua used their relationship as leverage for Gon's intervention. He had meant it then, and he had meant it now, but he never even thought about how much he risked Gon's trust in him because of it.

He couldn't keep dragging Gon around like that, and the guilt festered in his chest even as he kissed Gon's hair again and again for forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry," Killua whispered, voice breaking. "I won't do it again. I won't break up with you again."

"But what if—?"

"No," Killua said. He pulled away so he could meet Gon's eyes. Gon's eyes were still watery, dusted pink around the edges. His lips were red from worrying them between his teeth. Killua gave his shoulders a shake and said, "I'm not breaking up with you again. I want you to trust me on this. If we're breaking up, it's on your terms."

"K-Killua, don't say that—" Gon started, breath hitching. He shook his head as Killua repeated it again. "Y-You deserve better—"

"You are better," Killua said. "You fucking deleted Tinder for me."

Gon let out a startled laugh. He sniffed, covering his hand over his nose and mouth as Killua shook him again. "I shouldn't have abused your trust in me like that. If anything, you deserve better than me, so I'm leaving that up to you. Got it?"

Gon's eyes widened. After a moment, he nodded. Killua dropped his hands then with a shaky sigh. He put his hands on his hips and nodded firmly. "Okay. Glad we got that cleared up. Fuck. Okay, I have to stop running away from shit. This is fucked."

Gon nudged him in the shoulder, still looking pathetic and teary-eyed. "Yeah, well, maybe I should be getting you a leash and collar."

Killua blinked at him. Gon ducked down to pick up Killua's duffle as Killua processed what Gon had said. He lunged for Gon then, cussing and dragging him into a side-hug. Gon giggled as Killua smashed his mouth against Gon's temple and sent them both staggering across the bathroom tiles. He released Gon with an audible smack before continuing on the track out of the restroom and back to Yorknew University.

Gon shouldered Killua's duffle and used his free hand to grasp Killua's hand. Killua held onto it with a squeeze, feeling both sick to his stomach with guilt and relieved that Gon was still with him.

I don't deserve him, he thought as they waited for the bus in the salty, ocean breeze. He turned to look at Gon, who was staring at his profile and holding onto his hand so tight, Killua figured Gon was worried he'd run off again. Killua crossed his arm across Gon's front so that, with an arch of his elbow, he dropped his arm around Gon's shoulders and neither of them had to let go.

They were quiet for the majority of the drive back to campus. Killua kept his arm around Gon and somewhere along the way, Gon put his head to Killua's shoulder and closed his eyes. Killua didn't mind the proximity or the PDA—in fact, he relished in it. He recalled what Gon had said about wanting to have his hands in Killua's hair. He understood that now as he laced his fingers through Gon's soft black hair and spiked it up, flattened it, smoothed it over, and did it all over again through the entire ride back.

It felt different without their usual banter filling the silence. It wasn't a bad different—just different. Killua let the sensation dissolve some of the acid in his chest where his guilt burned away. It was both heavy and warm—so different from the light, airy heat he had felt with Gon before that moment in the transit atrium. So he let it soak in and dissipate through his entire being as Gon napped against him until they were back on campus and pulling up to the stop nearest Frat Row.

Killua carried his duffle and held onto Gon's hand with his free hand. He hadn't exactly been working out in San Diego, but the weight of the duffle didn't matter. He'd done what he could on his own—abs and pecs, mostly, since the San Diego heat felt like death in a gaseous state of matter.

When they arrived at the Sigma Alpha stoop, Gon took Killua's duffle from him and pushed through the front door. He tugged Killua over the threshold, their fingers laced together. Killua held his breath as they passed in front of the living room. There were three guys there, half asleep playing a video game on the flatscreen television.

As expected, the place looked like a mess. There was, quite clearly, a New Year's party the night before, so Killua wasn't surprised to find the majority of the house dead asleep. All of the doors were shut and locked, and the lights were all off. They climbed up to the top floor where Gon used Knuckle's key ring and unlocked the door.

He pushed it open and lowered Killua's duffle from his shoulder. The window was open but with the overcast, the room felt still and solemn. Killua put his backpack on Knuckle's desk chair as Gon shut the door and turned back to him.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Not really," Killua confessed. He stepped forward as Gon sat on the edge of the bed, staring intently at him. Gon reached for his hand, and Killua took it and let Gon reel him in for a hug.

Killua slotted between Gon's legs as he leant up against the bed and folded his arms over Gon's shoulders. Knuckle's bed was tall, all things considered, which put Gon's head just below his chin. Gon shifted back on the bed, pulling Killua with him until they were lying together on the mattress—Killua, flat against Gon's stomach, and Gon, with his legs wrapped around Killua's waist.

They fell asleep like that as if Killua wasn't already disoriented from his nap on the bus. When he woke up close to five in the evening, his stomach was cramping from hunger, his brain felt fuzzy, and there were lines on his face from the wrinkles in Gon's shirt. He rubbed at his cheek as he pushed himself up onto one hand, groaning.

He looked towards the window. The sun was still up and the sky had cleared, so it felt more like morning than evening. He groaned as he stretched his arms up and flopped onto his side, rolling over Gon's leg. He nestled himself against Gon's pelvis, his arm over Gon's torso, and his nose to Gon's shoulder.

Gon was on his phone until then. He set his phone aside as Killua looked up at him. Gon reached over and ran his finger over the burning skin on Killua's nose. His thumb felt frozen in comparison to the sunburn and it made Killua shiver.

Killua held Gon's hand close. He laid a kiss on Gon's knuckles, drawing a line with his thumb down the side of Gon's hand. Killua pushed himself up a little, following the line with his lips until they passed over the veins on Gon's inner wrist.

"Your skin is hot," Gon commented, and Killua could hear the dip in his voice like a chord being struck in his chest.

"That's what happens when you don't put SPF on," Killua said, lips grazing Gon's index finger.

"Damn, that's sexy," Gon breathed.

Killua laughed as he put his hand on the mattress beside Gon's hip and leant over. He pushed his knee up between Gon's legs. Killua licked a trail on the underside of Gon's finger before sucking it down. He grazed his teeth along the digit as he popped off to look up at Gon again through lidded eyes.

"You know it's almost impossible for a human to bite off a finger," Killua said.

Gon stared at him and bent forward laughing. Gon reached for Killua's face and Killua could feel the dampness from his saliva on Gon's hand as he said, "What the Hell? What made you think about that? Were you thinking about biting my finger off?"

"Yeah. I mean, if we're using something like a hundred-fifty newtons when we're just chewing regularly, a carrot's gotta be over two-hundred, but it takes fourteen-hundred to fracture a finger and the human bite is only capable of twelve-hundred newtons so in theory—"

Gon pulled Killua forward. Their lips touched and the jumble of words in his head vanished. Killua moved forward, his knee pressing up to Gon's crotch as Gon groaned in his mouth, moaning, "You're amazing."

Killua breathed a curse into Gon's mouth before pushing in with his tongue, faster, more heated than before. The heaviness from before dissolved with each lick and kiss against Gon's lips and soon, Killua was filled with that light, static energy that pushed him to the brink in the hammock, or those oh-so sweet moments in the locker room.

He leant over Gon and pushed him back against the headboard, his hand reaching up to clasp against the edge of it beside Gon's head. Gon's mouth was hot and wet against his own and Killua lost it when Gon dragged his tongue across the side of Killua's and slipped into his mouth. A breathy moan left him and with it, heat flushed through his body.

Gon scrambled with the hem of Killua's shirt. Killua raised his arms up and flicked the shirt away into one of the darker corners of the unlit room. In the evening sunlight, though, Killua could see Gon's bright, golden eyes watching him as he reached for Gon's shirt next. When it was gone, they stared at one another—Killua, with his hand on the headboard, and Gon, with his cold hands flat against the skin of Killua's abdomen. His skin was feathered with pinpricks of a sunburn—it looked as though patches of him was blushing under Gon's attentive fingers.

Killua's lips fell open, his heart fluttering in his chest. He wanted to ask, but the words just wouldn't come out.

Gon got the gist of it. "Are we doing this?" he asked, voice husky and fucked up.

Killua shivered and nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, we're doing this."

And then, at the same time, they both said, "We can use my—" Killua stopped and, likewise, Gon snapped his mouth shut before bursting into the cutest fucking giggle Killua had ever witnessed in his eighteen years of existence. Killua shoved him in the chest and went to his duffle to get the clear bottle stashed in the side pocket.

When he returned, Gon was completely naked.

Killua had never seen Gon in all his naked-ass glory. Gon didn't give a shit, either—legs sprawled, hands on his thighs, eyes on Killua like he knew he looked like a damn snacc. Killua let out a shuddered breath as his eyes followed the shape of Gon's hips like it had ages before, only now, the 'V' was now a target for the only thing on Killua's mind.

"Fuck," Killua breathed.

Gon held out his hand for the lube. Killua tossed it to him so he could unbutton his jeans. When Killua climbed on the bed again, Gon laid a long, slow kiss on Killua's lips before pulling away with a hum.

Gon licked his lips and said, "I want your fingers in my ass."

Killua snorted and said, "Oh, so you don't want to bite them off? Are you sure you don't want to—? Eat them?"

Gon laughed, slapping the lube into Killua's outstretched hand. As he did, Gon started babbling about shit like, "God, I've been thinking about this ever since you said you'd top. I'm so fucking ready. Holy shit, you're so hot when you're all serious like that—"

Gon sucked in his next words when Killua pressed his lathered fingers between Gon's legs and pushed. "I swear to God if you talk about my fingers up your ass one more time..." Killua hissed before taking Gon's lip between his teeth as Gon released a shuddering breath. Killua kissed him once more before putting his entire focus to his fingers as he raised Gon's leg up with a hand under his thigh.

Their eyes met and held. Killua had never once been in this predicament before—Gon knew that—and before Killua could panic at the severity of the situation, Gon put a hand on Killua's arm and said, "Keep going. I'll tell you if it hurts."

Killua nodded. As he continued, Gon's gentle encouragements, breathy moans, and his intoxicating smell had Killua's head spinning. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears, swirling his thoughts into an incomprehensible jumble of nerves when Gon used his shaky hands to tear open a condom package.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Killua asked.

Gon nodded, smiling wide as ever. "Yeah. I'll be even better when you're—"

Killua cut him off with a kiss. When they parted, Killua huffed, "Shut up. Don't you ever get embarrassed saying stuff like that?"

"Shut me up, then," Gon said, as if he wasn't already embarrassing enough for Killua to deal with.