a/n: Drug usage in this chapter

illua didn't see Gon the next morning. He assumed Gon died and that he'd find, "Man Dies After Orgasm, Body Found Wrapped in Hammock in the York River," printed in the newspapers. However, an hour after his shift started, Gon messaged him the following: "Deceased and trapped with the team this morning. See you at Kappa when we get back?" to which he replied, "RIP your pants dude."

Killua snickered at Gon's reply to his snarky comment. He pocketed his phone as he set back to work at the cash register. It was Friday and he was due to work through the morning before OChem, but with the game, he'd be missing the first half of the Hunters' game against Eugene, Oregon. It was a short, three hour bus ride which meant Gon was likely on a coach bus through North California to get there and back.

Their exam results were in and, at the end of their Friday lecture, Zushi followed Killua up to the front table where all of the tests were safeguarded by their respective TAs. Kurapika had a stack of test packets in their hand and, when Killua stepped up, they offered an encouraging smile as they presented the packet. For Zushi, Kurapika gave him a wink and said, "You guys are sticking around after, right?"

"Yeah. We have to finish the prep for lab on Monday," Zushi said. When he hurried over to where Killua had his packet pressed flat to his chest, Zushi let out a deep breath and said, "Shit—makes you feel like you did terrible and Pika's gotta smack some sense into us."

"I doubt their brains would be passed on with one smack," Killua sighed. He was convinced that any TA for OChem had secretly sold their souls to the devil.

They raced up the steps back to their lecture seats. The hall was clearing out all except for students inquiring about their test results with the professor and the TAs. After dropping down into their designated seats, Zushi turned to face Killua and said, "Ready?"

Killua sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "Ready. One—two—three."

They flipped their test packets over and plucked off the post-it note over their scores.

Killua's sinking heart soared in an instant. Flying colors, he thought to himself at the sight of a low 90 on his paper.

"Eight-five, not bad, not bad at all," Zushi hummed, pleased. "How about you?"

"Good. I passed," Killua said with a firm nod. He flipped through the packet so the score turned to the back. He searched for the questions he got wrong and together they compared their answers. They made notes, correcting their wrong answers, and aiming for a perfect score next time around.

After that was said and done and they turned over to their lab assignment, Kurapika was back from handing out test scores. They slapped their hands on Killua and Zushi's shoulders, causing them both to leap in their seats.

"Way to go, guys," they said. "After the last lab, you two are in the top half of the class."

"Well, I guess this is evidence that my deal with Satan was worth it," Killua said.

Zushi slapped him on the arm and laughed. "When did you do that and why didn't you refer Satan to me?" he said.

"Just before I emerged from the womb Satan came up to me and said: 'Now is the time for you to decide whether or not you'll pass organic chemistry,'" he said, his lab papers to his heart and his eyes facing forward. He glanced back at Zushi, who was just barely containing his laughter. "So to answer you: I was -2 minutes old."

Kurapika had their things packed up and stood with an amazed, "Wow, this explains so much about you. On that lovely note, I'll be off."

"Oh—hold on," Killua said. He went to his phone where he opened up the invite Machi sent him. He held it out to Kurapika and Zushi, who leant over to squint at it. "There's a party going on tonight at Kappa. You guys should come."

"How'd you get invited to Kappa?" Zushi said.

"Machi," Killua said, but in the back of his mind, Knuckle and Gon were there, too. "It'd be more fun if I went with people I actually know, though."

"I'm not allowed to party with students," Kurapika sighed. "I pretty much relinquished frat parties when I took this position."

"Then our first goal after the OChem final is to take you out to Sigma Alpha," Zushi said. He gestured to Killua as he added, "Since, I mean, after spring semester, we'll probably never see Gon again. We gotta milk his Sigma privileges."

"Please never use the verb 'milk' in correlation with Freecss," Killua sighed, rubbing his temple.

"That'd be fun, though. I'd be down for that," Kurapika said. "I'll be swamped with grading until the twentieth of December. Are you two going home for winter break?"

"Hell no," Killua said.

"We're supposed to be out of the dorms until after New Years," Zushi said. "I'll be going home to SoCal."

Killua hadn't bothered to think about Winter Break because he knew that crushing anxiety would come with it. So when Kurapika left them and Zushi directed their attention back to OChem, Killua was trying desperately to ignore the nagging sensation in the back of his head that told him he couldn't afford an AirBnb for all of Winter Break.

I have another three weeks to worry about it, he told himself. Save it for after finals. Who knows—I might be able to work something out with Leorio. It was unlikely, but the university might exempt him from the rules of the room checks over Winter Break.

It was on his mind even as a janitor came into the lecture hall and told them he was closing up the room for the night. Killua thought about it as he and Zushi left the building together, considering his chances with Leorio. If he could convince Leorio, then he could just stay out of the dorms all break for cleaning and room checks. Leorio would let him into the building at night and in the morning, he'd be off. He'd have to pay for all of his meals, but it would be better than going back home for break.

Illumi probably knows I'm plotting something, he realized. Illumi had lived in the dorms one year and therefore knew the regulations. He wondered if Winter Break would begin and Illumi, knowing that Killua was panicking, would be out front with the car trunk open for his luggage to drag him home.

He wouldn't let that happen.

So when he and Zushi arrived at Hatsu Hall, Killua dropped Zushi off in his room before heading down the hall to talk with Leorio. He only needed to knock once before Leorio was swinging the door open.

"My liege," Leorio said with a low bow.

"I need your help," Killua said. "Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Leorio sat him in the bean bag across from the Live Laugh Love wall. There was a new addition, which Killua knew given the fact that it wasn't even on the wall yet. He picked it up from the stool in front of him and read it off. "'Laugh. Live, laugh, love, well, often, much.' What the hell is this?"

"Oh, some kids down the hall found it at an antique store. I think it was printed wrong, but it counts," Leorio said with a grunt as he collapsed into his desk chair and said, "Tell me: What is on your mind, my dear Zoldyck."

"I can't go home for break," Killua said. "I was wondering if I could stay in my dorm. I know the dining hall won't be open and y'all are doing room checks but—"

"Whoa, slow down there, partner," Leorio said, waving his hands. "I can't—I'm sorry, dude, but I can't let you stay in the dorms. Ya know we cut the electricity to save energy over break. I'm not even staying at Hatsu—we've all got training at some resort in Yorknew."

Killua tried not to slump in defeat, but he felt it in his bones. His backup plan was to ask Zushi, but he didn't want to depend on Zushi any more than he already was. Zushi was the one to recommend that they room together over next year—what if Killua stayed at his parents house and Zushi's parents wound up hating him? Would they let Zushi sign a lease with Killua?

"Oh, okay," Killua said in the calmest voice he could manage. "I'll figure something out."

"I can ask the head RA if there's anything we can do. It sounds like students who can't go home for break are given discounted rates at nearby hotels. I know it's not ideal, but..."

"I understand," Killua said with a firm nod. "I'll be fine. Thanks, though."

Killua stood up then to leave. Leorio jumped up after him and, before he could leave, Leorio tugged him back by the hand. Killua faced him and the pitying look on Leorio's face that said, "If I could break the rules for you, I would."

Killua gave him a pat on the arm and said, "I got this, dude. Don't worry about me."

"Okay," Leorio agreed with a nod. "I'll message you once I know anything more."

With that, Killua left and began to formulate what he'd say to Zushi. It took him the entire walk from OChem to decide on what to say to Leorio, so he expected nothing less for Zushi. When he returned to his room, he pushed it to the back of his mind and threw his arms up, saying, "Ready for Kappa?"

***

Zushi had never had weed in any state of matter—edibles, smoking, or otherwise. Based on experience, Killua kept Zushi to his side after they forked over thirty bucks for two Strong As Hell brownies. A full brownie for Killua and half of one for Zushi.

The lights were dim and the air was clearer and less hazy. The smoking section was on the top floor of the building. Killua and Zushi left the vendor room on the second floor where a line of people stood in the hallway chatting and mingling.

"Since this is your first time," Killua started as they stepped down the narrow corridor to the balcony, "you're probably just gonna get sleepy. It'll take forty-five minutes for you to even feel anything, got it?"

"Geez, you know a lot about weed. I don't know why I'm surprised," Zushi said as he accepted the half-brownie from Killua.

They leant up against the brick siding of the house with their feet pushed to the base of the iron railing. Killua unwrapped his brownie—it was still warm from the oven and soft and moist against his fingertips. Zushi and Killua tipped their brownies together like they were cheering the New Year before taking their first bites.

Knuckle wasn't wrong—it did taste like ass. Killua preferred edibles over smoking any day, though, so he downed it fast and gagged a little at the taste. He brushed his hands off on his jeans and looked to Zushi, who looked entirely too disgusted to finish the last half of his brownie piece.

Zushi stuck his tongue out and held it out to Killua. "Don't like that," he rasped out, coughing.

Killua laughed and said, "What, so you want me to take it?" Zushi nodded. Killua took it and popped it in his mouth. "Whatever, dude," he said, mouth full.

They stood on the balcony for a while longer overlooking Frat Row. There was music playing from the first floor, and they could hear people shouting excitedly upstairs. It sounded like some karaoke was going on, and Killua and Zushi laughed at the tone-deaf singers that were out of view.

Eventually, Killua turned to Zushi and said, "Hey, I wanted to ask you something."

Zushi folded his arms and said, "Sure, what's up?"

Killua opened his mouth but his voice was drowned out by a bright-haired girl popping out of the balcony door. Zushi startled with a curse, turning to where Machi leaned out with a hand on the doorframe and a serious frown on her face. Killua was almost certain she was incapable of smiling without looking like a psychopath anyway.

She narrowed her eyes at them and said, "How come you two didn't come find me when you got here."

Killua held up his empty brownie wrapper and said, "Got distracted."

Machi snapped her fingers at him and said, "How long ago did you take that."

"Like, fifteen minutes?"

"Good. We've got thirty for you to show off in the basement. I brought some girls from the club, and there's a pole downstairs. I wanna see what you can do."

"A pole? As in pole dancing?" Zushi said, amazed. Machi was already marching off, fully expecting them to follow. Zushi put a hand to his forehead and staggered into the hallway. He turned back to Killua to whisper, "This is crazy! First weed and now pole dancing."

"Parties aren't usually like this," Killua said, but then again, he had a weird-ass high school experience, what with Illumi as his older brother.

They followed after Machi's pink hair as went down the stairs and down a black lit hallway. Her hair turned a vibrant magenta in the light, glowing brilliantly in the bluish dark. Killua's hair and Zushi's t-shirt under his flannel glowed bright white. Zushi hurried alongside Killua, a giddy smile on his face. Killua elbowed him in the side with a laugh as they turned down the stairwell heading to the basement.

Kappa kept their dance floor to the basement. There were bedrooms on the far side of the basement, separated by a corridor that ended with the stairwell on one side and a door to the backyard at the other. They broke away through an archway to the dance floor where the music consolidated into a constant, drumming pulse in Killua's chest.

True to Machi's word, there was indeed a pole up near the DJ and there was a girl already tearing it up. It was obvious that she knew what she was doing, as Killua knew the amount of core strength required to be able to flip around the pole like that. He had never been able to do it and never attempted after his first failure as a pole dancer several years prior when Illumi took him to a gay strip club with a fake ID. Killua had went mostly against his will, but had tried out the poles fully on his own voluntary will.

Killua crossed his arms as they lingered at the outskirts of the people dancing. It was tamer at Kappa, but no less exciting. Killua could see actual space between the people, and it looked as though a crowd and formed around a select few taking turns as the star of the dance floor.

Machi emerged from the crowd with a select few girls from her dancing club. Killua was startled by the intrusion and barely managed to grasp the things that were said or the things he agreed to. Before he knew it, they were dragging him by both hands to the center of the circle and expecting him to dance to a song he'd never heard in his life.

Killua staggered out amidst the chaos of people chanting and cheering encouragingly. He smiled weakly to all of them before at last circling around to where Machi stood with him.

And then, the bass dropped.

I can get down to this, he thought, stretching his arms up over his head.

Killua spread his feet apart and dropped his arms back. He rocked his shoulders to the motion of his ankles rolling, his feet shifting fluidly in place with all the elements of the moonwalk. He rotated around before tipping to the side when the chorus picked up with the motion of his hands over his head. When he looked at Machi, she was nodded in approval and sidling in to join him.

They swapped dance moves and, likewise, Machi and the girls taught him entirely new shit he'd never attempted before. Zushi joined in and the dance floor commenced as it had before the circle formed. They all laughed and giggled over their failed attempts before ever realizing that it was because they were giddy from the high.

Killua didn't fully realize he was being affected until it hit him like a brick to the face. One moment he was dancing with one of the girls and the next he couldn't stop smiling. If he didn't look like such a crazed maniac when he smiled like that, it might have been sweet, but then again, holding Zushi's head to his and giggling made him look more or less deranged. He felt so light and fluffy inside, like his brain was made of cotton.

He and Zushi swayed together on the dance floor during some hardcore rap song. Killua had his arms around Zushi's neck while Zushi hugged his torso. They rocked back and forth as the lights flashed around them and spiraled in colors of blue and yellow, red and green. Zushi put his head to Killua's shoulder and it felt like they were one slow song away from melting and dribbling into the cracks in the concrete under their feet.

"Oh, hey Gon," Zushi hummed near Killua's ear.

Killua pulled away a little, eyes bleary. He glanced over at where Gon Freecss was standing, staring at them with wide, energetic eyes. Gon beamed at him and Killua's wide smile spread wider.

"Hey guys, what're you two up to?" Gon said.

In that moment, Killua wanted to hug the shit out of Gon. He wanted to put his arms around Gon's neck and his legs around Gon's waist and hold on as tightly as his poor, sore arms and legs could manage.

But for now, Killua was hugging Zushi.

"I had a quarter of a brownie and Killua had one and a quarter," Zushi explained.

Gon's eyes widened and he leant forward saying, "Wait, are you serious? Dude, I heard they put the wrong ratio in."

"What do you mean?" Zushi asked.

"Someone put the whole stash into the brownies. There's, like, three hundred dollars worth of weed in the first batch," he explained.

"Holy shit, who fucked that up?" Zushi said. He tried backing away from Killua, but Killua would have none of it. The fear of losing Zushi in the crowd was compounded by the spike in his anxiety that had been numbed by the comfort of Zushi's arms around him. He felt it tingling up his spine like nails on a chalkboard, urging him to hold on and never let go.

Zushi whined for him to stop, but Killua's smile was gone and replaced with a teary-eyed frown. His throat felt tight as he clutch onto Zushi's arm and said, "Don't leave me—Zushi, I don't want you to disappear—"

"Is—Is he okay?" Gon said, brow furrowed with concern.

"I'm not going anywhere," Zushi said, giving Killua a pat on the hand and a discrete nudge to get his hands off.

Heat put pressure on Killua's eyes. He could feel the moving bodies around him, crushing in now that the smoking period was over and done with. There were so many people tightening his lungs and wringing his nerves into knots. If Zushi walked away, he'd disappear and Killua would never see him again.

Before he could stop it, tears started to drip from his eyelashes.