The sight of those men-of-war frightened me. I'd heard many rumors about the Royal Navy before that day and I didn't want to find out if they were real. The British kept attacking us, making me wish I'd never left Tortuga in the first place. Although I couldn't see Dirk well, I had a feeling he was also afraid. Regardless of the success I'd achieved as a pirate captain in only two months, I was no match for the Navy and neither was Bosch. Of course, we intended to give our bests to avoid defeat, but only God knew what would happen. My heartbeat accelerated as I saw them approaching. Even though I was no naval war strategy genius, I knew what they intended to do: sink Ocean Storm and White Shark. At that moment, I was even more convinced that someone from the inside had been working with the British. I couldn't tell whether the person worked for Bosch or me yet, but I had this weird feeling that I was being betrayed... Could such a terrible thing be true? I hoped not. Perhaps it was just a crazy coincidence that the Navy had been finding me more easily. I didn't know... It was bizarre that they knew exactly where I was in Tortuga and had discovered my vessel so quickly that morning.

I went downstairs to the gun deck fast. I felt so dizzy that I tripped twice. Sven was talking to Trevor. Francis kept looking at me while walking as if he tried to understand what was happening. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead, so I pulled my cocked hat slightly downward to hide it.

"Sven, prepare all the cannons!" I frowned as I remembered the danger we were about to face. "Fire them when you see a little less than half of the man-of-war. Do the same if an enemy vessel approaches on the other side."

He nodded, "Aye, Captain!"

When Sven left and started talking to the other gunners and powder monkeys, I returned to the main deck. My hands were sweaty, so I cleaned them on my dark purple coat before anyone noticed. I observed Laurens for a moment and pressed my lips together.

Could Laurens be the traitor? What about Sven and Maartje? God, I can't stop thinking about this...

"Maartje, adjust the sails. We must escape from our enemies as fast as possible," I sighed and raised my brows. "Let's continue that conversation later."

What could I do? Of course, I didn't want to ignore that Maartje and I were arguing, but everyone would die if I focused on our quarrel instead of the crew's safety. My chest ached as I thought of the stupid thing I'd done. I should've never told her that uncle Ruben was a murderer. God, I couldn't believe how I'd messed everything up...

Maartje followed my orders while shooting me a mysterious gaze. She glanced downward and pursed her lips. I wasn't sure if she was angry or sad, maybe even both. What if she was faking everything, didn't really want to help, and was the one who had led the Navy to me on the previous night? I almost freaked out just by wondering about it.

"I believe these British want to sink Ocean Storm so badly just because the commanders are a woman and a black man," Laurens crossed his arms. "Why don't they chase some other buccaneers instead?"

I gulped after hearing that. How could Laurens know the British knew that? Was it because we'd been chased lately... or something else? Call me crazy, but that was oddly specific. Even though the British knew my gender, I wasn't sure if they were aware that Laurens was black.

I lifted an eyebrow, "How can you be so sure they know we're nontraditional high-ranking pirates?"

He shrugged, "I'm not certain. It's a guess. I just believe the Navy would be more eager to defeat us if they knew who we are."

That makes sense. Maybe I'm too paranoid after all... I hope.

I turned to the forty people on the main deck, "I want twenty of you on port and the other twenty on starboard. Prepare your blunderbusses and wait for my signal to fire."

Kenneth loaded his gun and smiled, "I can't wait to send these guys home, Captain Storm!"

I raised my brows and nodded,"That makes two of us, mate."

I swallowed hard once the enemy vessels got closer. Although I couldn't see the British men's faces, I imagined them laughing at me. They thought they were better than everybody else and I hoped to show that wasn't true. My life would be over if Ocean Storm sank. Being a shipwreck victim once was bad enough. My eyes bulged as I remembered the water slicing my lungs like a knife after The Revenger went down. I was determined not to let the Navy be like the seamount and that damn thunderstorm.

"Turn port, Ashton, but don't take us too far from the approaching man-of-war," I rubbed my chin as I observed our enemies. "We must be out of danger and still have a good aim at them."

Francis whined, appearing to be afraid. I caressed his head and a lopsided grin formed on my lips.

"We're going to make it, buddy," I pressed my lips together. "Perhaps I'll even find a cat for you to chase if Ocean Storm isn't damaged."

My dog barked and walked away.

If it's true that dogs can feel people's fear, Francis must be overwhelmed. Everybody's terrified of the British.

I took a deep breath once the man-of-war was close enough. I felt nauseous while observing the enemy ship. They could fire at any second, but I couldn't wait. If the Navy was there to sink our vessel, I wouldn't go down without a fight... Correction, I wouldn't go down at all! I hadn't asked my crew to prepare their muskets and cannons to lose.

"Everyone on starboard must now shoot," sweat ran down my neck. "Fire!"

At that same instant, my crew members started shooting the British. The ones on port remained still since the other ship hadn't approached yet. I ran to the gun deck quickly, rubbing my eyebrows. I breathed faster as Sven supervised the other gunners firing the cannons.

"What the hell is going on, Sven? Did you drink too much this morning? I said every cannon should be fired once the enemy got close enough!" I scowled while crossing my arms. "Find someone to fire them! Now!"

Sven itched his head and glanced away for an instant, "We don't have enough gunpowder."

I gawked. That couldn't be happening. Why had my master gunner decided to tell me that at the worst possible moment? Our lives depended on those cannons! God, it was hard to stop myself from panicking.

"That can't be true! I checked our storage two days ago and we have more than enough," Laurens raised a brow while taking a step forward. "I'll go take a second look."

Sven's eyes widened, "Why? Are you calling me a liar?"

My oldest friend surprised me once he showed up. I hadn't noticed he'd followed me to the gun deck. I believed Laurens was right since he'd told me he had bought more gunpowder from our supplier the previous week. Had Sven tried to sabotage us, or had Laurens lied about buying extra supplies? I felt as if my head would explode while thinking about the possibilities.

"No. I just want to double-check..." Laurens crossed his arms. "Unless you're afraid of what I'll find."

"Do you have any idea of what you're insinuating?" Sven bared his teeth and took a step closer to my quartermaster. "I would never do something like that to us!"

"Stop! We don't have time for a fight!" I separated Sven and Laurens while glaring at both. "Find me more people, prepare the swivel cannons, and ask them to fire, Laurens."

Laurens swallowed hard while still gazing at Sven, "Aye, Captain."

We both went to the main deck. Luckily, Sven and his gunners managed to do some significant damage to the man-of-war's hull. Ocean Storm rolled as the British fired back. At that same moment, the third Navy vessel got between my ship and Dirk's. Their cannons fired even more quickly.

I increased my tone of voice, "Everyone on port may now open fire! Fast!"

I don't want to die today...

My people quickly shot as many British as possible on port. They efficiently took down a large part of the enemy crew. My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I felt another cannonball hitting Ocean Storm. If I weren't the captain, I would've hidden in my room while my crew fought the Navy. I forced my eyes shut briefly, remembering the day I almost drowned. Once I opened them again, I smiled. Dirk and I had succeeded in taking down the ship on port together. Laurens was right: having an ally was indeed worth it.

I sighed while looking at Bosch through the spyglass, "I hope he can sink the third vessel since I can't reach it from here..."

The remaining ship kept firing, but luckily it didn't hit us. I suddenly felt nauseous and put both hands on my face, wondering if we'd actually survive. Francis barked, appearing to be scared.

"Ashton, turn starboard!" I gulped as I observed the man-of-war going down quickly. "I don't want the sinking ship's masts to crash against ours."

I frowned as I saw a familiar man through my spyglass. It was the same officer who had led the men to catch Dirk and me in Tortuga. Whoever had leaked information to the Navy was probably talking to him. The British walked from one side to another, seemingly worried.

Laurens rubbed his chin, "Let's hope our cannons are enough..."

When the enemy vessel approached us, I ordered my people on starboard to fire again. Our cannons destroyed a significant part of the man-of-war's hull, leading it to bend towards us.

My eyes bulged as the British masts got closer, "Turn port!"

Ashton turned the helm while biting his lower lip, "I'm trying!"

I grabbed Francis and stepped away with Laurens, Maartje, and other crew members as the enemy ship sank faster. Unfortunately, one of the masts hit Ocean Storm, crashing a large chunk of wood near the bowsprit. It wasn't enough to make us sink, but definitely concerning. At that same instant, Dirk finally destroyed the vessel. We both quickly sailed away from the three sinking ships. White Shark appeared to be more damaged than Ocean Storm, which made me feel sorry for Bosch.

"You see, we can accomplish so much more as a team! No one could've defeated those men-of-war alone today," Maartje sobbed as she pointed at an enemy ship. "Besides, I already lost my father, Storm. I don't want to lose you too!"

I bit my lower lip. After almost being killed by the British, I'd forgotten my argument with Maartje. I couldn't help but gulp once I remembered I'd told her the truth about her father. My cousin walked to the forecastle deck. I followed her, wondering if I'd ruined our friendship.

Could my own cousin have sabotaged our gunpowder supply? What if she's the informant?

"Also, was my dad really your father's killer?" my cousin wiped away her tears while shaking her head in denial. "You made that up, didn't you?"

"I wish I did, but no. Uncle Ruben confessed that he'd been planning the assassination for years. Besides, I heard him talking to Dr. Bakker about it," I nodded while gazing downward for a moment. "I'm so sorry."

"Was that how you felt when you found out your dad took you from your mother? Lost, destroyed and broken-hearted?" Maartje rubbed her bandana and cried even more. "Because that's how I'm feeling right now."

Although I'd never say it out loud, I was relieved when I discovered Hendrika was my stepmother. In Curaçao, I'd heard from more than a child that their moms loved them unconditionally and I'd always wondered why my own mother didn't feel the same. The fact that my real mom had stayed in Amsterdam answered my question: I simply didn't know what a mother's love truly felt like. I would probably never know. Perhaps if I had a baby, I'd find out.

"I should've never told you the truth about my uncle," I gazed away, ashamed of my horrible mistake. "I hope you can forgive me someday."

"There's nothing to forgive. You did what you had to," Maartje frowned and had fewer tears in her eyes. "Besides, you'd tell me eventually, wouldn't you?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't. I wanted to protect you," I sighed and looked upward. "You didn't deserve to carry this sadness for the rest of your life! I know how hard it is to find out your dad is a monster..."

My cousin nodded while pressing her lips together. She appeared to reflect on the subject for a moment. I couldn't tell whether she was getting calmer or angrier. What if she was planning her next attempt on sinking us? God, I couldn't stop my paranoia!

"I'm upset you hid that from me, but I understand your reasons. I'd probably have done the same in your position," Maartje took a deep breath as if she tried to swallow her tears. "You're forgiven. Just promise me that you'll be careful around Bosch and that we're no longer keeping secrets from each other!"

What if you're keeping me a secret, Maartje? I don't know who to trust anymore!

My cousin hugged me tightly. I closed my eyes, enjoying every second of the embrace. We hadn't hugged each other like that in decades, so I almost cried tears of joy. Don't judge me, I love demonstrations of affection! Just because I'm a pirate, it doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

"Of course. I promise!" I grinned, relieved that the argument was over. "Since we're not hiding anything anymore, there's something I need to tell you."

Maartje got closer while cocking her head. Francis did the same and I controlled myself not to laugh. Despite not being sure whether I could trust her or anyone on my ship, I needed to tell my little secret. It wasn't anything horrible, so Maartje couldn't use it against me. Besides, there was no way to prove it. Yes, I considered everything before telling her.

"I thought I was pregnant with Miguel's baby," I sighed while recalling that crazy situation. "I bled for three days last week, so I was wrong."

My cousin gawked for an instant. She shook her head in denial and walked from one side to another, seemingly absorbing the information. What was on her mind? I hadn't seen her nervous like that in a while.

"Maybe you weren't wrong," Maartje bit her lower lip. "What if you indeed got pregnant?"

I frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"Dad told me my mother had some bleeding, just like you, three years before I was born. She thought it was just her period and went to a physician after he insisted," Maartje approached me and decreased her tone of voice. "The physician said she was actually pregnant and had lost the baby."

I gaped while staring at the floor for an instant. Not even in my craziest dreams, I'd imagined I was indeed pregnant. I'd never show weakness in front of Maartje, but deep down, I felt like crying. Although a baby could've threatened my position as captain, I wanted to be a mother one day... It would be so amazing! Besides, being masculine to earn respect bothered me significantly, so carrying a child could've helped me feel less like a man.

"That's terrible... I didn't know you almost had an older sibling," I took a deep breath and raised a brow. "Do you really think I suffered a miscarriage?"

"It's possible," my cousin downturned her head. "I'm so sorry, Eva..."

I thought about what my cousin had said for a few moments. Gazing at my belly, I tried to imagine what kind of mom I would've been. I felt my eyes getting wet, so I quickly held the tears. Although I loved being a pirate, I would've liked to be a mother as well. I could've been both things if not for that stupid bleeding... Had my kid really been taken from me like what happened to my mom when dad hijacked me in Amsterdam? Well, actually, my situation was even worse because my child didn't even have the chance to live.

"It's all right. I'd be a terrible mom anyway," I sighed and glanced away. "I'd probably teach my kid to fight and steal much earlier than I should."

"Don't say that! You'd be a wonderful mother," Maartje caressed my back and raised her brows. "Besides, living with Hendrika probably taught you everything a mother shouldn't do."

We both laughed. Having escaped from my evil stepmother was one of the few things I didn't regret at all. I still had to deal with problems such as the Navy, but my life got significantly better after running away from home.

I chuckled, "You're absolutely right."

"I would've spoiled your child a lot, but let's not dwell on it," Maartje pressed her lips together as if she'd noticed my sadness. "Thank you for trusting me with this."

I forced a smile, "Don't mention it. I'd trust you with my life."

As long as you don't give me a reason not to, I'll always trust you, Maartje.

Since Maartje and I needed to go back to our duties, we left the forecastle deck after a few minutes. I scowled as I remembered the problems that would have to be fixed once we docked. Even though Ocean Storm didn't need to be abandoned, the British cannons had caused some severe damage. I worried about how many more times the Navy would ambush my crew and me. What if there was actually someone from my own people betraying me? Perhaps even more than a person? I took a deep breath, wondering if those thoughts would make me go crazy. In addition, I was devastated since there was a chance I'd lost my child. Although I wasn't sure if I'd gotten pregnant, my possible loss had broken my heart. Despite the fact I didn't know what a mother's love felt like, I wanted to find out after having my own baby. I wondered why my chance, perhaps my only one, to be a mom had been taken away from me.

****