TEN

Dear Asshole,

I think I should stop writing to you, Xavier.

Maybe, this will be the last.

I don't fucking know anymore. I'm going crazy.

So, yeah, I guess, I should start now.

After the kiss thing, in some weird way we ended up being together. You know, the official girlfriend. You rarely get official girlfriends, Xavier. I felt so happy that time. You were in love with me just as much as I'm in love with you. The days that followed were pure bliss.

It didn't stay that way.

And I wished it never started if this is the end result.

But before that, let start with something I gave to you that no one else could ever have. It starts with a “V” and rhymes with “serendipity.”

You must be laughing right now because I sound like a little girl who had just been taught the word: sex. But, fine, it's virginity.

I gave mine to you, remember?

That night we were only there to watch a movie in my room and we ended up doing more – a whole lot more.

You asked me if I trust you and I said of course.

One thing lead to another.

Clothes were ripped off.

Moans and screams happened.

You were better than expected and it was painful but wonderful at the same time.

We lay there naked as the day we were born.

You told me you love me so much.

And I just---

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE XAVIER.

Robyn,