Zoya lay on her bed facing the ceiling as she lazily scrolled through her Instagram feed. It was currently three twenty-eight AM and she was wrestling her mind in order for her to achieve sweet, blissful sleep.

After that unfortunate visit from Zaib and his family, she hadn't been able to get him off her mind. She got what she wanted: she could stay at university but there was something missing. It was like there was a gaping hole in her heart; something that she couldn't quite grasp.

It felt like emptiness.

Why was there emptiness when she had gotten what she wanted? Shouldn't she be overjoyed and content? Zoya had everything she could ask for yet there was this feeling she didn't understand. Her heart fluttered anxiously whenever she thought of Zaib's defeated frown. That solemn look on his face when she rejected him in front of everyone, his family and hers.

Was that really the right decision?

Zaib was one in a million for her. She'd never put that much thought into one guy. No man had unsettled her in the way Zaib had. He took over her thoughts and heart and she pushed him away. She refused the new life she was offered—a new life with Zaib.

Maybe it was for the best. Now Zaib would meet another girl: one much prettier and smarter than her; someone worthy of him.

Just the thought of some other girl marrying Zaib and spending her life with him made her heart feel like there was a rock weighing in on it. She had just met him a month ago, why was she acting this way?

Growing up Zoya had learnt to never give her heart to anyone but her husband. While all her friends got boyfriends in high school, Zoya watched and waited patiently. But like any normal teenager, she'd wanted to fit in with her friends: if they could do something she would be perfectly capable of it too. That's what led Zoya to her first encounter.

It was a middle school party and everyone was super hyped for it, including her friends. Her best friend at the time, Sabrina Adams, had begged Zoya to come along as it would be their last year of middle school and everyone was going to have fun.

After two weeks of endless pestering, Zoya budged and agreed to go under the promise that it would be for an hour only and her friends and her wouldn't mingle with any boys. Her mother had agreed after being reassured from Sabrina's mom that Zoya would be safe.

As a young Muslimah, she was obliged to dress modestly and she did. It was an eloquent maxi dress, beige in colour and a scarf to match. Even at the age of fourteen, she had a modest sense of fashion and enjoyed practicing Hijab.

No matter how much protesting her friends did for her to remove her scarf for this one event, she firmly declined as she had already given in to the idea of going and there was no way she would give up her hijab in any case.

Sabrina's mother picked her up and drove her group of friends to the dance where upon entering, she instantly regretted it. There was deafeningly loud music blasting from every corner of the house. The EDM beats pounded in her eardrums and made her heartbeat fasten.

There was no alcohol as it was a middle school party, but people were passing around candies with bits of intoxication in them. Both genders were dancing and too disgustingly close for comfort. This was all too much to handle for Zoya as it went against every wall she had built up for herself.

She turned around to leave but at that moment, one of her friends managed to bump into someone holding a glass and had gotten injured due to it. The group panicked and took her to the nearest room. Zoya's instincts kicked in as she asked around for a first aid kit and took care of her friend's wound.

As she was leaving the room, Sabrina grabbed her wrist and stopped her. "We just got here, why are you leaving?"

"I don't like this atmosphere. I'm sorry I'll make it up to you another day." Zoya shrugged and started to leave once more but Sabrina held on.

"There's someone who wants to meet you first though; you can leave after meeting the person."

"Wh—" Zoya was interrupted abruptly. "They personally wanted to see you here." Sabrina pulled Zoya across the living room—turned dance floor—and led her to the kitchen.

In the midst of all the chaos, the kitchen had only three young men there: Jeremy, Francis and Tanner, all her classmates.

Zoya was overcome with confusion as she had assumed it was a girl who had wanted to meet her since she never talked to any guy unless it was for work purposes.

Jeremy, the blonde male with blue eyes, who was sitting on the counter pushed himself off and extended his hand towards Zoya. "Hello Zoya, I'm Jeremy, we're in the same class." He had a clean British accent which made her twitch in inferiority.

At this age, Zoya didn't know how to politely refuse handshakes so Jeremy just shook her hand anyway as Zoya mentally cursed her disability to reject handshakes from Non-Mehrams.

"Uh—yeah I'm Zoya. Why did you want to see me?" She reluctantly muttered, her eyes fell onto the boys behind Jeremy: they were busy smoking.

Sabrina then went over and whispered something in Jeremy's ear, and he stepped forward. "Well.. yeah. I've had a crush on you for this whole year now and I wasn't able to tell you about it, but Sabrina helped me muster up my courage for this."

Zoya stared at him baffled as his friends snickered at the confession. This was the first time anyone had confessed to her. She'd always just kept to herself or her tiny circle of friends, so this was very unexpected. She was aware that she shouldn't mingle with boys and date one before marriage especially at this age, but she didn't know what to do in this situation.

"Come on Zoe, we all have boyfriends. You're the only one in our group without one. If Jeremy is so willing to be with you, why don't you give him a chance? We can all go into high school with boyfriends." Sabrina huffed at Zoya's disturbed expression as she tried to push her to date Jeremy.

Should I accept? Is it worth it? My friends will treat me more like them, and I won't be left out anymore. Wouldn't that be great?

This horrific thought crossed Zoya's mind and the second it did, she was disgusted with herself for even thinking about it. Why should she do something she's clearly not comfortable with and something against her Islamic values just for peer approval?

"Jeremy, I don't know you personally but even if I did I can't accept this confession. I'm sorry. I'm just not on-board with this whole idea of dating. You'll find someone else."

Jeremy just rolled his eyes and muttered an, "I told you so," to Sabrina who had her arms crossed and a disappointed frown on her face.

Francis, the boy with brown hair and glasses burst into laughter, and Tanner, the guy way too tall for his own good, looked visibly angry.

"Is it cause you think you're better than us?" Tanner taunted her as he walked up to her slowly. "What are you even hiding under there? Is that why you're rejecting him? You can't show him what's under this thing?"

With that he tugged on her scarf lightly, panic settling into Zoya as she snatched the tip of her hijab from his hands. "Zoya stop being so difficult for God's sake," Sabrina added salt to the wound. Zoya was speechless, her throat tightening as if she was deep underwater choking. Her cheeks fired red in obvious embarrassment.

"Don't you dare come near me. I'm not going to waste my time trying to explain myself to people who clearly don't and won't understand me." With that she glared at Sabrina one last time before storming out of the chaos.

Zoya wasn't one to get angry easily as she usually had a cool mindset but when she did, it would be a big reason. At that moment, rage surged through her veins as she harshly opened the front door and left the house.

She was furious. Furious at her friends for making her come. Furious at Jeremy for liking her. Furious at Tanner for attacking her rights. Furious at Sabrina for putting her into the spotlight. Furious at herself for being so blinded with toxic friendship.

None of her friends had actually cared about her. They used her for their own entertainment; they probably even had their inside jokes referring to her. They didn't like her for herself. They all wanted to implement changes as if she were an old software needing new updates. How dare they try to change her?

Simultaneously, she felt so betrayed and hurt. All those times—for instance, she had caught her friends giggling at her randomly but they insisted it was 'nothing'. And when they met up without her and threw in silly excuses. Those times where they had asked her for help academically and 'forgot' to thank her.

She was used. It hurt that even after all that, she put them first and had still cared. As a new student, she was lost in her first few days of middle school, but Sabrina had always guided her and helped her. Once their group started becoming bigger, she had changed and Zoya should have known not to trust her anymore.

Hot tears of frustration streamed down Zoya's face as she walked down the street, not knowing where she was going. She couldn't depend on Sabrina's mother for transport anymore because the thought of depending on Sabrina for anything from now made her want to throw up.

Just at that moment, she heard a shriek from the neighbouring house. "Can y'all shut up! Turn down the music! Ya Allah, these lunatics are at it again. A girl can't even stare at the wall in peace anymore."

At the mention of Allah, Zoya's eyes strayed to the open window of the house where a girl around her age wearing a large prayer scarf and Spongebob pajamas was hanging out shaking her fist at the house where the party was taking place. The sight of it was so comical that in between her tears, Zoya found herself overcome with laughter. She let out peals of laughter and the more she thought about it, the funnier it got.

"Hey you! What are you laughing at?" The girl was pointing at her now. "You," Zoya replied between fits of helpless giggles.

"Oh yeah, well let me come down and teach you a lesson for laughing at me." Ten minutes later Zoya and the Spongebob girl were sitting on the front porch talking about life.

"So that's why you look like you just cried." The girl nodded in understanding, "I thought you just had a really bad cold."

"Thanks for listening to me and even making me laugh. I have to figure out a way to get home now." Zoya stood up and dusted her dress off. "Oh you don't have to worry about that. My mom is gonna leave for her Qur'an lessons that are in Masjid Al-Hadith in a while, she can drop you on the way."

"Wait, my mom goes to Qur'an classes there at this time too!" Zoya felt relieved by the mention of that Masjid as her whole family went there frequently.

"Wow they must be in the same Qur'an class then. How about I go too and you just come with us to the Qur'an class. Then you can go home with your mom from there?" The girl's eyes sparkled in excitement as she adjusted her prayer scarf over her spongebob pajamas.

"I have to change though. Can't have the masjid ladies giving me weird looks." At that they both giggled.

"Sounds like a plan. By the way, we never introduced ourselves, my name is Zoya Hayaat," she extended her hand towards the smiling girl. "Guess we connected well, I'm Naimat."

It was three-fourty five AM, and Zaib hadn't left her mind. When she had rejected his proposal, she hadn't known it would bother her to such an extent. She'd thought that getting back into University was the only thing she needed for her happiness; she could have never estimated the effect Zaib would have on her.

Just the way he was personality-wise attracted her: he was always modest and humble. He was nothing but a true gentleman and managed a perfect combo between Islam and modern-living. Those times where her heart would endlessly beat around him and she would feel the butterflies erupt in her stomach were now over. They were over because she'd made it that way. It was her fault.

Just then, her thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell.