Asr usually finished faster than usual prayers but today he stayed in prostration longer than Fajr. His tense heart found ease being close to Allah. His eyelids were rolled shut and his heart paced hard.

What was he thinking?

His chest was flooded with bitterness and it was difficult to breathe without falling short of air. He acknowledged the sensitivity of the situation. Zoya Malik didn't know much about him. They hadn't talked much neither had they had enough encounters.

All those facts were crystal clear but those short meetings were enough to draw him to her and he had presumed she'd at least think about the idea of him as her future husband.

What went so wrong for her to outright decline the proposal and break his heart?

He heaved a sigh and made his duaa.

"Oh Allah, my fate was decided even before I was given birth. I've asked you for the woman I believe is my partner for this journey—all the way to my afterlife. I've fallen in love and it's painful so please either take me out of this situation or give her to me as a reward."

Abdullah studied his son with a crease of concern on his forehead. He fiddled with his beard as he thought about how to handle the situation. It had been the first time ever had Zaib asked them for something. And it wasn't even him who had spoken for his needs but Zain. His frown grew deep as he sighed in sadness.

Zaib was the perfect son. Abdullah sternly believed that his reward for the patience throughout his life struggling for money had paid off with Zaib's presence.

Why couldn't he do anything for his son when he finally asked for someone precious?

Abdullah stood from the prayer mat and walked off outside the mosque.

Zaib didn't notice as he prayed for her.

-:-

The mass of children chattered among themselves as they sipped their mango juices. Unease settling in his chest brought him to the only place he considered peaceful: Masjid Al-Hadith. But instead of entering the holy place, he remained under the wide sky watching from afar.

The brightness of the day seemed to mock his gloomy eyes as he shifted uncomfortably, biting his bottom lip. In a matter of silent minutes, his phone began to ring.

He pulled it out from the pocket of his jeans only to read the callers ID, 'Ehsan'. He accepted the call.

"Where are you right now?" The greetings weren't necessary as Ehsan already knew everything. His father must've told him.

"Somewhere peaceful."

"I'm coming—" and the phone switched off even before Zaib could persist his offer. Zaib sighed. He didn't want anyone to spill comforting words at him. He just wanted to be left alone until his heart finally found the will to stop hurting.

Zaib's gaze sprawled to the masjid again and this time with addition to the group of kids having the time of their lives, he noticed a little girl walking up to him speedily. He stared.

Blustering of the wind caused his eyes to narrow as the girl finally approached him. It was the little brown haired cranky pants, Maya who had approached him with her sealed mango juice in her right hand's grip.

She smiled adorably before extending her bottle towards him. Zaib stared amusedly. This brunette who had little sweetness and truckloads of sass had finally treated him respectfully? He almost chuckled but decided against it fearing she'd withdraw the respect.

"I apologize for my behavior towards you Mr. Zain-" he scoffed unimpressed.

"It's Zaib," he corrected peculiarly. The brown-eyed girl stared at him narrowly. "I'm trying to be nice don't ruin this," she declared with that usual tone of sass. Zaib chuckled, patting her hair.

"I'm glad you tried. Why the sudden realization?" He questioned curiously.

She smiled, twisting her lid off, answered. "Mushu told me about you and I decided to give you a chance." Zaib's smile fell as he straightened up immediately.

He didn't want to hear more of her.

The silence prolonged as Maya galloped her juice in long sips of refreshment.

But his heart was already staggering inside his chest.

"W—what did she say?"

Lowering the bottle, she told him, "Mushu tells me about how you help the masjid and also says that it is my duty to be thankful. She states that you aren't a bad guy. You're still somewhat an idiot though and that's not changing."

He looked up at the sky. The brightness now made him smile.

"Also, she told me you're an architect! That's really cool." Zaib chuckled, his chest aching.

"Yes, I am. A really good one too."

"Can I see some of your designs one day?" Her eyes twinkled as the smile widened on her lips.

"Of course."

:-:

"Should I speak to Naimat?"

The two men were in the coffee shop under the fairy lights, the door chiming every time another member joined. Coffee and Ehsan were two combinations which always came together; the two had a special relationship.

"Zaib, can you speak to me?" Zaib rolled his eyes, gritting his teeth together in boredom.

"What do you want me to say?" Ehsan sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in exhaustion.

"Speak to me. Are you mad, upset, annoyed? Anything?" Zaib listened uninterested. Whatever he was feeling it was between him and Allah. The intensity of his feelings for Zoya was a secret between him and Allah.

"When are you getting engaged?" Zaib questioned, dodging the bullet.

Ehsan decided to drop it and went along with his little tricks. "Naimat wants to finish her last semester before the wedding so there's no rush but I spoke to her parents and they've agreed to hold the engagement the coming week on a Friday In Sha Allah," he informed.

Zaib smiled, his eyes wandering to the window where the moonlight hung low and the stars had seemed to retract for the night not wanting to see his depressed soul.

"I'm happy for you."

:-:

Night came through when he went back home. His father and Zain were watching a football match while his mother laid in her bedroom, reading some cooking book. He dashed past them and entered his room where Zayna laid awake reading 'The Fairytales Of Dragon World'.

Wordlessly, he walked in and sat onto the sheets near Zayna's tiny feet. She immediately sat up rushing into his arms.

"Where were you? Zain was worried," she whispered as if she'd be punished if someone heard her.

Zaib smiled softly. "I was working Zayna. Zain is an idiot; you don't have to worry about it," Zaib told her cheekily. Zayna smiled back, a child's brain was too naive to look beyond words.

"Alright, goodnight."

"Goodnight." She kissed his cheek and pulled the floral covers on.

The door creaked open and Zain hobbled inside. Zaib shushed him with his finger to his lips and stood up, leaving the room for Zayna to sleep comfortably.

Outside, his father and mother were now together, eyeing him discreetly. He stayed put, tight-lipped.

"Where were you?"

"I was with Ehsan. What's the problem?"

Zaib's mother heaved a sigh. "The problem? You're asking what the problem is? After everything that happened—"

"Mama, I'm really not in the mood for this." But she continued. "The girl you like outright rejected you and you're telling me everything's alright? She didn't even ask for time or consider our feelings. Just trampled over them like we were ants!"

Abdullah intertwined. "Don't speak so harshly. She must've had her reasons."

Zaib agreed. But he was desperate to hear one.

"What reasons! She didn't want to continue her university either so what does she want to do?"

"Mama, stop insulting her. We don't know anything," Zaib argued, his jaw clenched in frustration. He didn't want anyone to point any fingers at her. Even after the whole rejection, he couldn't bear to see her blamed.

"Zaib, stop defending her!" Zain suddenly roared, his eyes venomous. His hands were clenched into fists as he breathed hard. Zaib flinched at his tone.

"Can everyone stay out of my business for once? So what if she declined? It's her damn choice and everyone needs to accept it," Zaib rasped and everyone disagreed.

"See, you should just accept Mariah, that beautiful girl. She's reasonable and—"

Before anyone could spill more insult and unwanted opinions, he dashed towards the main gate and hurried out, leaving all the disputes behind him. He needed to leave before his anger got the best of him and he ended up saying or doing things he would regret.

His head felt heavy and his body was hot, ripples of anger and frustration seething his body. He pulled his jacket off and ran all the way to the local park. He ran his fingers through the strands of dark hair in frustration. The cool wind hollered against him, cooling him down. The thudding of his heart let him forget everything for a minute.

Why? Did I come off as unattractive?

Unwelcoming? Unkind?

His brain wrestled as thought after thought bombarded his mind. At this rate, he'd lose his mind. He had to know a reason. There was a heavy feeling settling his chest, making him choke up almost. He had to hear the reason from her so he could be at ease... and let her go.

Time was ticking. He searched through the pockets of his jeans for his phone but his fingers slid against some hundred dollar bills and credit cards. He sighed pathetically.

He didn't want to go back home.

He wanted to go to her.

So he did.

💘