Walking into the yard I noticed a sign that read 'Maze garden', which I followed. Confused at the many turns that the maze lead me through a well on frustration rose in me.

"Tom!" I yelled, walking through the maze. Slowly I could feel myself getting deeper and deeper into the maze turning through every corner, calling for Tom's name.

Finally reaching a dead end I felt the tears in which I was holding fall quietly down my cheek. Taking a deep breath I wiped it away refusing to be caught dead crying. An arm wrapped around my hand pulling me into a hug and before I could look up I already knew it was him. His scent, in a way it calmed me down and I melted into the hug and so did he. Releasing from the hug Tom frowned at my red eyes.

"what happened", he whispered palming my face.

"oh um...its nothing, Im allergic to grapes". I lied, giving him an exhausted smile.

"you're such a bad lier" he smiled.

We walked around the Vineyard for sometime before it got late and we decided to head home. The date felt good...and every time I made short glances to him, I fell harder for him.

Driving into the Dorm parking lot. Tom parked by the gates looking at me.

"I need to say something" , he said holding his breath. Sitting up by the seriousness in his voice the little hope in me thought he was about to profess his love for me.

"I don't think we should be doing this Eva...don't get me wrong you're a beautiful girl, and your'e smart and kind, but your'e young and I know that because you couldn't even drink the wi-"

My heart sank and before he could finish his sentence my hand went flying across his face. I slapped him. Tom's eyes widened to my eyes that welled with tears, unruffled by the fact that I had just hit him with all the strength in me.

"Please Eva, don't cry- he said reaching for me.

"Don't touch me", Pulling away from him, i swung the door open getting out of his car. He chased after me attempting to grab my hand before I yanked him away.

"If you touch me I'll scream bloody murder !" I say scurrying to the gates of the dorm building.

"Eva please".

I slammed the gates behind me ignoring Tom calling out for me. In that moment I didn't feel betrayed I felt stupid. Stupid for getting my hopes up, stupid for thinking he would love me like I had so quickly learnt to "love" him. I didn't feel betrayed because I am honestly used to being let down by the men around me. I just needed someone to latch unto and hid the sob story that my life truly is, an empty void of a girl who so badly needs a man to make her feel whole. A hopeless, and truly helpless romantic.

***

Walking into the dorm I throw my purse on the floor. Climbing into my bed I hear Maddie call for me.

"Omg how was the date", she screams from the bathroom brushing her teeth. The well in my throat overflows allowing the tears in my eyes to fall down my cheek straining my pillows with my black eyeliner. Maddie walks out of the bathroom seeing my hysterical state.

"What happened, what did he do...Eva i'll literally shoot him I swear to you." I cry into my pillow as Maddie pets my hair telling me it's okay.

"Eva talk to Eva please ".

"He said it wasn't gonna work, cuz I was young", I sniffle

"Then why did the bastard ask you out", Maddie yells

"No its cuz i was offered alcohol and I-

"its okay don't explain" Maddie cuts me off, hugging me. I get up from my bed grabbing my book bag.

"Are you sure you don't wanna just rest", Maddie asks anxiously, confused on why I could be working after just having a break down. I reassure her saying its for a project as she kisses my forehead.

"Im gonna order pizza okay",

"okay thanks"

Getting my laptop out I begin to write the rough draft for the project that I procrastinated on, because I was too being in love.

rough draft #1

you learn to put pieces together yourself.

Backstage of your own performance and everyone's waiting to see what a mess you turned out to be.

Maybe it'll change, give it some time will you. Don't give up on them, not after what they put you through.

And soon you start seeing the same things you hated them for to appear in you.

The mirage of what you wanted becomes a small obsession and it reminds you of all the things you couldn't get.

It smells like what you wanted, it tastes like what you wanted, it acts like what you wanted.

And so quickly it can disappear, like your mothers support when you wanted it.

Or a fathers love, while he slipped into another family that wanted him.

You realize nobody cares about your wants, when all you did was spend your life catering to theirs.

Your anger festers into a deep greed for everything you cannot get.

And then it leaves behind the pieces of a needy child, who seemed to have everything,

but nothing they wanted.