"Where is it...?"

I wasn't snooping around her stuff, I was only curious. The letters ended up falling into my hands, it wasn't like I fished them out of her desk drawer myself. I just found it strange how she always retires to her quarters early in the night and became curious as to what she could possibly be doing.

"Ugh, what the hell..."

At the moment, I was currently flipping through the pages of [Y/N]'s letters to her family. After sending my secretary out on a wild goose chase to find me some electro crystals (knowing that there's none for miles and that she'll give up eventually), I entered her room and began looking through her things. I'm sure she wouldn't mind unless she was hiding something from me.

"Am I seriously not in any of these...?!"

Honestly, I had no intention of going through [Y/N]'s personal stuff, but just had a feeling that she wasn't being truthful to me. The mere thought of it pisses me off, so that's why I decided to take this into my own hands. There was always something in the back of my mind, ever since I recruited her, I've always wanted to know one thing.

"Does she not talk about me at all?!"

Angry, I slammed an open palm onto the table, resisting the urge to crumple up old letters. I've always wanted to know how she feels about me. I don't think I'm being selfish since I want to know so badly. If [Y/N] was a book, she would be half open and written in a different language. I wish we could just get along and get closer to one another.

I was just about to give up, I guess that my subordinate doesn't think of me other than 'being her boss'. I hated to admit that I wasn't able to find any of her juicy secrets.

Until finally I saw an unsent letter...

Dear mother and brother,

How is everyone and how are things back at home? I have been eating very well, so no need to ask for the hundredth time, mother. I haven't gotten father's letter back yet, is he working overtime at the Embassy? And finally, I would like to remind big brother Nikolai to take his medication and go out on long walks.

I have exciting news to tell you: I have been promoted to the sixth Fatui Harbinger's secretary-assistant! I'm grateful, however, he is notorious for the way he treats the other agents. But then again, I got a new Major Insignia and the higher-ups are surely recognizing me now!

Harbinger Scaramouche is a very complex man and has a stranger sense of humour than I do. Maybe it's because he is originally from Inazuma and the culture is different? I don't know.

I think he's okay. If I treat him with respect, he doesn't lash out at me.

Anyway, they're doing roll-calls now. I have to finish this letter early!

With love, [Y/N]

The handwriting in the letter looked rushed as [Y/N] signed her name at the end.

"That's all." I felt offended. Are you kidding me? All these weeks spent together and she just thinks that I'm okay? Okay, how? 'Okay, he's my boss' or 'okay, I like him'? I had too many questions flying around in my head, this was probably going to drive me insane for the next month and a half.

I can't believe I'm going to say something so lame and cliche but, I can't help but notice that my heart sank knowing that [Y/N] doesn't think anything special about me. I have a feeling we aren't going to get along that well, or at least, I'm going to have trouble with the relationship we have right now.

I don't want to admit it. This feeling that I have towards this girl is something new to me. Never in my life have I felt this crazy or obsessed or foolish about anyone ever. I can't believe that someone like me is getting all flustered. Someone like me is getting all mushy and soft about some girl.

I am a Fatui Harbinger. People fear me. I'm capable of taking down men twice my size. But why? Why? When I see or even think about [Y/N], I'm weak to my knees. I just don't understand. It's so confusing. There are no words to describe my feelings about her. And I don't want to know why I'm acting this way... because I'm worried that I might be - Argh, forget it!

After my epiphany, I returned all her letters, including the unsent draft, back to where they once were. Raising my hand to elevate my hat, I looked around the room one last time before leaving. I needed to go outside and clear my head right away, I was starting to feel sick from how my stomach was turning over with anxiety.

Soldiers automatically saluted when they saw me storming down the hallway, I simply walked by without saying anything. They weren't going to say anything, they never say anything. I can hear the echoing of my rushed footsteps as I finally made it to the door. With a forceful hand, I pushed it open.

Through the light falling snow, I saw her across the camp, holding a bag of purple glowing electro crystals. I knew it was my secretary, I knew it was [Y/N]. Unconsciously, I felt my breath get taken away from the mere sight of her, she came back from the errand I sent her on... Successfully?

[Y/N] was talking to the other Cryogunners, Pyroslingers, and the Cicin Mages as she walked by them but, not me. Her superior. She's not running over to me right away. Why does she speak to everyone except me? Voluntarily, that is. Then again, why does it bother me so much?

Whatever. I decided to start walking towards her and meet her in the middle. I wanted to take her far away from the group of Cicin Mages, but I was beaten by someone ahead of me.

"Hello, ladies," Childe, the flirtatious dumbass of the Fatui, casually walked up to the group with his signature smile plastered on his face. It seems like he returned after whatever expedition he went on.

"Welcome back, master~" The Cicin Mages buzzed around Childe like he was some sort of beehive.

"[Y/N], congrats! I heard you were promoted to Major! Scaramouche's personal secretary-assistant!" The ginger clasped his hands together out of joy.

"Thank you, sir." She replied with a shallow nod. "That reminds me, I have to get going now."

"Ah, I have to warn you," Childe stopped her from walking away. "He gets pretty strict when things don't go his way. So, you better know what you're getting into unless you want to get shocked."

Stomping my way there, already, people were turning their heads and becoming tense the moment they saw me walking. Childe wasted no time and quickly walked away from the group of lieutenants nonchalantly, the Cicin Mages whining a little.

"I don't see people training! Get back to work!" I shouted angrily and the soldiers straightened up. There was a look of displeasure on their faces but they didn't dare talk back. I knew it was their break time, I just didn't care. I wanted everyone gone.

"Yessir!" Everybody hopped into action, leaving the secretary all by herself for me.

"[Y/N], get over here," I commanded and she followed.

She bowed in front of me and then presented the bag of crystals from behind her, "I have what you requested, my Lord. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any electro crystals in the wild so I bought them at a nearby marketplace."

"I specifically told you to get them from the wild," I reprimanded, crossing my arms and watching her shrink on the spot. "Whose Mora did you spend?"

[Y/N] kept her head down, looking guilty as hell. I could practically see the tips of her ears glowing red out of embarrassment. It kind of makes me want to tease her more.

"Well, tell me. You don't carry any Mora with you."

She muttered, "I told the owner to put the payment on Mr. Childe's tab..."

I covered my mouth when I almost let out a snort. [Y/N]'s words definitely threw me off guard, that's what made it so funny. Honestly, what a cute answer from someone like her. You know what, I'm going to forgive her for this one. I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit.

"You're not angry with me, sir?" [Y/N] looked at me with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Not really, you did the mission I ordered you to do. Good job."

When I reached over to pat her on the head, she swooned a little into my touch. I immediately drew my hand away because her reaction suddenly made me nervous, for some reason. I suppose giving her head pats is a form of endearment, but I was only telling her she did a good job.

We awkwardly stared at each other and I saw [Y/N] do that thing that she does whenever she's flustered: her eyes slowly broke off of mine to look elsewhere and her lips pursed together in thought. Even after a few weeks of working together as boss and secretary, she's still not used to our new relationship.

With a mischievous grin playing along my mouth, I turned on my heel and moved the back-drapes of my hat to the side out of my way. Then, I began walking. I had another mission to get done, this time I wanted my secretary and I to go together.

"[Y/N], let's go." I motioned my hand to make her follow me. "We're leaving the Fatui base and returning at nighttime."

"Why?"

"Why, what? Are you tired from going to the marketplace?" I asked sarcastically, glancing back at the girl with narrowed eyes.

"No, I still have energy!" She replied earnestly.

"Then stop complaining," I scoffed, returning my gaze to what was ahead of me.

"Where are we going, my Lord?" She asked.

"We are going to investigate a business that has not paid their debts on the due dates," I answered.

"Debt collection... Again?" [Y/N] sighed.

"Are you questioning my orders?"

"No sir." She replied quickly.

"Good, I won't tolerate any refusal."

So, we set out on our journey. It was quite a long walk to get to the nearby village, but we pulled through. Though, [Y/N] doesn't seem like the type to make small talk. It was a little annoying that we just travelled in silence, she didn't even speak a word to me.

•••

I walked into a humble shop as if I owned the place, not forgetting to hold the door open to let [Y/N] enter as well. Customers seemed to understand who we were because they decided to drop everything they were holding, placing them back on the shelves, and quickly exiting the building.

After making my way to the back where the employees were, I forcefully pulled back the curtains and watched the young men scurry to their feet like the rats they were. It seemed like they were in the middle of their breaks, they immediately put out their cigarettes and stood up fearfully.

"Where is your boss?" I demanded and the men became smaller as I placed a hand on my hip.

One of the employees pointed a shaky finger behind me. Daringly, I turned around and had to tilt my head upwards to look at the person, to my surprise it wasn't my secretary, she seemed to have disappeared also.

A tall Snezhnayan man, whose button-up shirt seemed to be on the verge of popping open, flashed his bulky rings as he clenched his fists in an opposing manner. He had a shiny, excluding the three strands of hair going across his scalp, bald head - it looked kind of squishy. I wanted to laugh, it's always fellows that look like this who are always late with their payments.

"You mean me?" A deep voice rumbled, the man furrowed his almost nonexistent eyebrows.

I stared back coldly, "You have unpaid debts."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." The businessman's shoulders went up and down as he lost himself in his own laughter. His employees only watched cautiously.

"I will arrest you for not paying your debts." I threatened and I seemed to have gotten a negative reaction from him.

"What was that? I don't think you have the right to arrest me, Inazuman boy." He stomped his way towards me, his face slowly turning red with anger and it was clear that he was fuming. I continued to stand there smugly, even a smirk was rising on my face.

His knuckles cracked loudly, clenching his teeth as he tried to square up. This was prime entertainment for me, honestly, there was an attempt. Seeing such a big man trying to threaten someone like me, had got to be the lamest thing a guy would do.

There was the sound of a loud click and the man's furious expression was wiped away. [Y/N] had a killer look in her eyes as she pressed one of her spray guns against the back of his head, poking him without a care in the world. Her finger was on the trigger, grazing it as she waited for my command.

The man's Adam's apple went up and down as he swallowed nervously, I can see fear dawning over his features as if he knew that he messed up for sure. This was just child's play. There was no point in trying to talk out of this, why resist arrest when you can just go unharmed?

The employees dashed away to escape from the scene, I didn't care since I knew they weren't going to be a threat to us. We didn't need the workers, we needed the boss. The one cowering and trembling in his blingy attire and lack of hair.

"Fatui?" He hesitated.

"Yes." [Y/N] answered calmly.

She kept one gun on the back of his head, almost pressing it deeper and twisting it against the folds of his scalp. Even if he tried to attack me or reach behind himself to get to my secretary, may the Gods have mercy on his soul because if she didn't pull the trigger first, I would have already killed him.

Sweating profusely and raising his trembling hands in surrender, he muttered something in Snezhnayan to which [Y/N] responded in the same tongue. I saw the way his aggressive persona diminished and he shut his eyes in anguish.

"What is it?" I taunted, completely relishing in how lame he looked.

[Y/N] sighed, "He's asking for more time."

I almost laughed, "No."

The businessman clutched his hands together as if he was praying, shaking them in front of me, pleading, begging. What a surprising turn of events! Do it! Ask for forgiveness like the trash you are! I should just use his face to wipe my dirty sandals clean.

[Y/N] peered past the businessman's arm to look at me sorrily, "He also didn't take you seriously because he saw that you were Inazuman, my Lord."

"Figures." I flicked my chin up and immediately, [Y/N] pistol-whipped the man, his heavy body fell limp to the floor. She shook her hand a little before returning the gun back into the holster on her hip.

Stepping over to stand beside me, we both looked down at the unconscious client quietly. At this moment, I felt like we really had a connection - like it really was us against the world (as horridly cliche as it sounds). It's nice to know I have someone who listens and carries out my orders, I'm really starting to appreciate her more.

"Soldiers!" I called out and they arrived at an instance, bowing respectfully with their hand on their chests. "Arrest him, he will answer to the Embassy."

"Yessir." They replied and went to work right away, lifting up the poor guy and dragging him out of the shop.

Finally, it was just me and [Y/N] alone again, as usual. I've always enjoyed her company. She stood before me as if she was expecting some sort of reward. Her head was tilted and slightly angled downwards, like waiting to be praised.

I wanted to tell her well done, but I didn't feel like she needed to be told that I was proud of her.

Folding my arms together and leaning back, I finally decided to speak up, "I don't regret choosing you as my secretary. You know that, right?"

Her eyes beamed a little bit after hearing what I said. Sometimes I never really understood her: one moment she could be smiling to herself and then back to being emotionless - stoic even. But when I see her with that look of pride on her face, it makes my thoughts wander a bit.

Maybe I am... No, I shouldn't have these feelings in the first place.

Another job finished. Let's head back to base.

•••

That night, [Y/N] wrote another letter to her family. While she went to the bathhouse for her regular nightly routine, I snuck into her room again. I didn't really care if anyone saw me entering, it wasn't like they were going to tell me off, the most harm that would be done would be a scandalous rumour that I can easily shoot down.

When I walked up to my secretary's desk, I saw an open envelope with her newest letter inside. I carefully pulled it out and unfolded the paper. Once more, I took a peek at it.

Dear mother and brother,

How's father? I still haven't heard back from him. Also, mother, keep reminding big brother Nikolai to take his medication even if he refuses! Force him if you have to!

Anyway, I have more news to tell you about my boss.

Harbinger Scaramouche is different from the rumours heard around the camp. He and I get along easily, honestly, it's a little bit of a surprise. I enjoy his company and it seems like he enjoys mine as well (since he does laugh at me from time to time).

We continue to arrest those who are evading taxes and who are not paying any debts.

I sincerely enjoy my new position and my comrades are respecting me more than ever! I look up to Lord Scaramouche because I admire the way he takes control of any situation.

I just wish that he praised me more for my good work.

Roll-call again! I really need to make a schedule for writing my letters!

Take care, mother and big brother Nikolai! And father!

With love, [Y/N]