jordyn dolan

The next morning I was up early. I made Ethan some breakfast before he had to leave for work. I felt incredibly bad that he was going through such a hard time at work.

I mixed the creamer in the coffee I just finished making. I placed a plate of pancakes and bacon on the dining room table as well as the cup of coffee.

I walked over to the coffee machine and made myself a cup of coffee too.

"Good morning." Ethan walked down the stairs all dressed for work. He wore a white dress shirt as well as a pair of black dress pants and a black belt. Still the best looking.

"Morning." I smiled as he kissed my forehead and reached for a coffee cup. "I made you some breakfast." I pointed to the dining table.

"You're too sweet to me." He smiled and sat down in front of the plate of food. He began to cut a piece out of the pancakes.

"I know you've had a hard time at work and I wanted to try and put you into a good mood." I smiled and he smiled back.

"I love you." He took a sip of the coffee. "And I really want to apologize for last night, I really didn't mean to bring up the baby again." He put down the fork and grabbed my hand lightly.

"It's not your fault, don't worry about it. I'm okay, I promise." I tried to reassure him.

He nodded while smiling still, glad that I was okay.

The rest of the meal was peace and quiet between us, it was nice. The only sounds we heard was Ethan's fork lightly hitting the glass plate and the birds chirping through the cracked open window.

These were the moments I'll always remember, the peaceful moments between us.

Ethan pushed the plate away from him as he continued to drink his coffee. I stood up and grabbed the plate to wash it in the sink.

"Thank you for breakfast." He walked over to me and pulled me in for a light hug after I turned the water off.

"Of course. Try to have a good time at work and don't overwork yourself, alright?" I placed my hand on his arm and he smiled lightly.

"You're always taking care of me." He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead.

He placed his coffee cup in the wash after cleaning it off a little bit and began to walk towards the front door to pick up his keys.

"Alright, I should get going." He put his keys in his pocket and slid his suit jacket on.

"Have a good day." I smoothed down the wrinkles on his sleeves. "Love you." I kissed his lips lightly.

"I'll see you tonight, babe." He kissed the top of my hand and walked towards the garage.

The garage door closed and I turned back around the the small table that held our car keys and a few picture frames.

A picture of our wedding was by the keys while a picture of our five year anniversary was on the end. In the middle of the two was the most heartwarming picture for the both of us: our baby's first ultrasound. It was our baby's first ultrasound, the only ultrasound we have. A terrible memory came screaming back in my mind.

five years earlier

When Ethan found my pregnancy test, I thought he was going to be pissed at me, but his tears flooded down his eyes. He was SO excited to start a family with me, which gave me a sense of relief.

Ethan and I were waiting in the dark room in the doctor's office, waiting to get our second ultrasound of the pregnancy. I was only three months so far, so I didn't have the biggest belly, it wasn't that noticeable.

"Good afternoon." The doctor came into the room with a clipboard in her hand. "How's mommy feeling right now?" She looked to me and smiled.

"Really good actually." I smiled and raised my shirt up to reveal my stomach.

"No signs of butterflies in your stomach or anything?" She asked as she began to set up the ultrasound.

"Nope, I've been feeling good." I smiled and looked at Ethan who was holding my hand.

"Good." She nodded. "Ready to find out the gender of your baby?" She smiled and I looked to Ethan.

"We've been waiting for weeks." Ethan said for the both of us.

The doctor smiled and put the cool gel on my stomach. She sat on the stool on wheels and began to feel my belly.

"Alright, let's see what we've got here." She looked through the screen to find the baby.

Ethan squeezed my hand as the anticipation was racing through us. The doctor didn't say anything for a couple of moments, which wasn't normal. Usually she was able to tell us what was going on in my belly right away.

"Everything okay, doctor?" Ethan asked.

"Um, let me grab another doctor. I'll be back really quick." She stood up off of the stool and closed the door as she left the room.

I turned to Ethan and was getting anxious, we had no idea what was happening.

"Everything's gonna be okay." He placed his hand on my head and the door opened again to a male doctor and our original female doctor.

"Hi, mom and dad." He said to the both of us and we greeted him too. "I'm one of the head doctor's here in the pregnancy department. Let's see what's going on in your belly." He smiled and and looked through the screen as well as our original doctor.

"See, right there." Our original doctor pointed at the screen and I was getting really nervous.

"Yeah, yeah, I see." The male doctor nodded. "Okay." He pushed the ultrasound machine away and wiped the gel off of my belly.

"Is everything okay with the baby?" I asked.

"Jordyn and Ethan, right?" He looked at both of us and we nodded. "Something wrong happened with the baby--"

"Wrong? Is it okay?" I put my shirt back and sat up slightly.

"Um--" He looked to both of us and the other doctor. "It's always so hard to say this to future parents, but the baby is no longer growing."

"W-what does that mean?" Ethan asked.

"I'm so sorry to you both, but Jordyn you've had a miscarriage."

My heart was racing and I felt my eyes welding with tears.

"I know this is really hard to hear. If you do have any questions please let us know."

"A miscarriage?" My voice was shaky.

"I'm so sorry." He said again.

"Do you mind if we have a moment alone?" Ethan asked both of the doctors and they nodded. They both walked out of the door leaving us both in emotional pain.

"W-we lost our baby?" I looked up to him as tears started to stream down my face.

Ethan pulled me in for a hug, which made me want to cry even more. Ethan held me tight as I was soaking up his sweatshirt with my salty tears. I heard him breathe heavily against my neck, he was in tears as well.

I pulled away and wiped my tears with my own fingers. "How did this happen to us?"

"I don't know." He shook his head and a tear fell on my bare skin. "This wasn't suppose to happen." He looked at my belly.

We lost our baby...

- - -

I wiped a tear from my cheek as I sat on the couch while holding the ultrasound in the picture frame.

It's been five years since I was pregnant and it's been five years since we lost the baby. I've tried everything to take it off of my mind, but it always comes crawling back to me.

The doorbell rang, shoving me back into my reality. I wiped my tears quickly and placed the picture back on the table. I took a deep breathe before opening the front door.

I was shocked. I haven't seen these two in years...

"Matt? Riley?" I was stood right in front of my two best friends that I haven't seen in years.