this is the 4th book. READ THE OTHERS BEFORE THIS ONE!!

ethan dolan

five years later

"Give me another." I asked the bartender at a downtown bar. I was seated on a stool by the bar all by myself.

"Hey, man," One of the guys from my work walked in the door and sat next to me. "You doing all right?"

"Yeah, just stressed." I ran my hand through my hair. I grabbed the drink and took a large sip.

"Everything okay with you and Jordyn?"

"Yeah, we're fine, it's just a lot going on right now."

"I'm sorry man. I'll just leave you, good luck." He gave me a reassurance pat on the back and began to walk out of the bar. I nodded his direction before he left.

There was almost no one in the bar anymore, since it was a Wednesday night. It was getting late and I really did have to get back home.

I was taking my alcohol very responsibly and knew I wasn't drunk, I was taking sips, and eating food along with it.

I looked at my phone and saw a single message from my wife.

hey, you coming home soon?

want to make sure you're safe.

I smiled at her sweet text and responded.

yeah, I'm own my way home

right now. love you!

I grabbed my wallet and put down a twenty dollar bill as well as a ten dollar bill, ringing up a total of thirty dollars.

"Keep the change man." I waved to the bartender as I grabbed my things and walked out of the building.

I stepped into my Jeep and pulled out of the parking spot. Jordyn and I had a beautiful home right outside of Los Angeles. It was a quick twenty minute commute to my work, a big corporation. I worked close with the CEOs, I worked my way up the bracket quite quickly.

I parked in the garage and opened the door that led into the house. I placed my keys down on the table that was by the front door as long as a picture of Jordyn and I's wedding four years ago. I remember every second of it.

She began to walk down the aisle with Grayson by her side. She looked breathtaking in his all white dress that flowed perfectly in the beach wind. Her hair was pinned back as he hair was blowing behind her in the wind, gorgeous.

Grayson kissed her cheek and helped her up on the altar. I grabbed her hands lightly and felt butterflies in my stomach.

"You look beautiful." I whispered as everyone sat down in their white chairs. I blushed lightly as the minister began to speak behalf of us.

"We're gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Jordyn Mills and Ethan Dolan. Their story is absolutely wonderful and I'm honored to be here talking on behalf of them."

I just looked her in the eyes and focused on her, the minister's words didn't even make it thorough my ears. Jordyn was glowing, she was beautiful.

The minister asked me to read my vows and I was so ready. I had everything written down and asked for Matt to hold in for me.

He tapped my back and held out the piece of paper, but I waved him off, I didn't need it.

"You know I love you so, so much. You know how much I care for you. You know all of these things. I better hope you know that I'm never going to leave your side, I'm never going to disrespect you, I'm never going to let you be alone. I'm always going to protect you, I'm always going to be there, I'm always going to love you, I'm always going to be in love with you. I promise you'll never be scared, I promise you'll be safe, I promise we'll get our dream home, I promise we'll have all the wonderful kids we want, I promise to be there every second of the way until I'm not here anymore." I squeezed her hands and a tear fell down her cheek. I wiped it away with my finger and she smiled.

I slipped the beautiful ring on her left ring finger and smiled.

Riley held out a piece of paper and she took it. Jordyn unfolded the piece of paper and looked at it for a couple of seconds before folding it back up and smiling at me in the eyes.

"I never had a good life, I never felt safe, but you and your family took me in and forced me to feel safe." She chuckled lightly. "I'm forever grateful for you, Ethan. I'm so thankful that you're giving me the life I never had a chance of having. I want to give you everything I can to make you feel loved and appreciated. The amount of things you've given to me is unbelievable. Now I feel like it's my chance to make you feel the way you made me feel throughout these years. I'm never going to leave your side, you're stuck with me." She smiled. "We're going to have amazing kids and I know you're going to be the best father. I'm going to be by you no matter what happens to either of us. I'm always going to be thinking about you, I'm always going to take care of you, I'm always going to make you feel loved because you are the love of my life and nothing's ever going to change that." Another tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it with her fingers.

I love her.

She slipped the ring on my finger as well. I absolutely loved this ring, it suited me well. It was just a basic black band with small, little black diamonds that ran along the middle of it.

"Ethan, do you take the Jordyn Mills to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish from this day forward?"

"I do." I nodded and smiled.

"Jordyn, do you take the Ethan Dolan to be your husband to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish from this day forward?"

"I do." She smiled as well.

"I know pronounce you husband and wife. Ethan, you may kiss your bride." I smiled at those words.

I pulled her closer to me as my hand was placed on her back. Our lips touched and it felt like the very first time. Our memories flashes through my closed eyes like the speed of light.

Everyone clapped their hands as we pulled away from each other. I smiled to her and she squeezed my hands.

"I love you so much." I whispered in her ear as I could now call her my wife.

- - -

I set the picture back down and lightly smiled at us both. I kicked my shoes off and walked up the stairs.

"Hey, baby." I sighed to Jordyn as she was scrolling through her phone. I walked into the walk in closet and grabbed some sweats.

"How was work?" She put her phone on the nightstand and smiled to me lightly.

"Awful." I slid my shirt off and threw it in our laundry hamper.

"I'm sorry." She puttered out her bottom lip.

"I just need a break." I slid my grey sweats on after taking off my black dress pants and belt. I immediately got into bed next to her.

"I know, baby." She lightly rubbed her hand over my bare chest, making me feel relaxed. "It'll get better soon, it always does."

"I know. It's just frustrating." I ran my hand over my face. "It just feels like what happened with the baby-the frustration is the same."

Jordyn didn't say anything. I knew I shouldn't of said that, it's a rough subject for the both of us.

"I'm sorry." I said and sat up to face her. "You know I didn't mean that."

"No, I know. It's not your fault." Her voice was shaky.

"I'm sorry." I grabbed her waist. "I know it's hard, I don't want you to feel this way."

"Ethan, it's not your fault. Yeah, it's rough for us to deal with, but it's not your fault." She put her hand on my cheek.

She continued, "It's not our fault that we lost the baby."