A/N: Why do I have this crazy habit? Why do I always want my Ziam to suffer pain?

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Liam's P.O.V

"Let's break up Zayn!" I've never forgot that day, seriously I've never ever. That was the craziest decision I've ever made, it has hurted both me and Zayn a lot.

We just didn't work out. Us together, they would call gay. I don't want to hurt my family, my friends, the management when I tell them this, and I know Zayn will be hurted easily by the others' words. We're not like everybody else. We can't just ignore people, we live for them after all, we can't be selfish, we can't... But once again, I have to state, I regret breaking up with Zayn.

Zayn's P.O.V

I don't know what to do, seeing Liam standing there talking to his girlfriend, Danielle. It hurts me a lot, the time he said he wanted to break up with me, I thought I still had a chance of winning him back, until a week after that, he said that he and Danielle had officially got back to each other...

I always tell myself that Liam wasn't a jerk who would dump someone for someone new, but my head keeps on saying Liam picked Danielle over me because she's a girl, and as my head does that, my heart keeps on beating louder, encouraging me to fight for this love. But still, how could I? I have no right. And I'm not even sure if Liam likes me or it's just him playing with my silly feeling.

I still remember that day, the day I first met the love of my life, Liam Payne. We became great friends after that, but I know in my heart, Liam was a really special person and he was more than a brother to me. And that moment in life when I had enough courage to tell Liam how I feel about him, that brown eyes of his looking at me, that hands of his holding my face, and that kiss we first exchanged. It's flavor, it's sweetness, I just couldn't resist him, and the last thing I know, I fell in deep love with him.

It hurts me to think back on the day we broke up. I didn't know he was serious, yes he has always been a serious person, but I thought this love we shared was unbreakable. And then he just left me and before I knew it, he had moved on... If only I had held him tighter. If only I had told him how much he is loved. If only I could turned back time...

I want to kill myself, literally. I want Liam to know how much he had affected me, how much I hurt. What he had done to me, I want him to live in pain. I want him to look at my picture and apologize me. But deep down inside I know that apology is not accepted, will never be accepted. He hurted me, and that's the price he must pay...

"Are you ok, Zayn?" Danielle shakes my shoulders, pulling me back to reality.

I look up and notice Liam is eyeing on me, looking quite worried. I sadly stare into his brown eyes, they are so gorgeous. "I'm fine, at least I think I'm fine."

We stare at each other for a period of time when Liam looks away. "Ok then mate, take care. I'll take Danielle back to her apartment now. Let's go Danielle!"

Why is it always be Danielle? Why can't it be me? At that moment he walked out of my life, out of my sight, I know that I can never do anything to hurt him.

Liam's P.O.V

Zayn got a new tattoo. I heard about it right after I returned from Danielle's flat. Zayn always gets a new tattoo when something very happy or sad happens. This time I think it is more of a disappointment. I know I had let him down, I know he is still in love with me. But that's for the best. The longer our relationship lasts, the more painful Zayn will get. I don't want it to happen. I want Zayn to be... who he is. I know Zayn is not a bad boy, and for sure... not - couldn't - be a gay. He's caring and sensitive and loving. I love him, and I know what's best, at least I think I know.

...

"Hey Liam. I want to ask about Zayn." Niall hesitates. He's never been like this. Has something happened?

"What is it mate?" I ask, trying not to sound so worried.

"Last night I saw Zayn brought a drunk man home. He looks quite... y'know, unreliable... So I was wondering if Zayn-"

"No Niall. He's not. And don't ask those sily questions!" I cut him. I can't stand it when someone doubt Zayn was gay, even if it was my best friend.

I think about what Niall said earlier. Did Zayn really do it? He couldn't have, but what if he did? No I must have faith. What if...?

...

"Hey Zayn!" I put my hand on Zayn's shoulders. I feel so stupid. I should have asked Harry or Louis to help me out with this... but I didn't want them to find out and ask bad things about Zayn, just like Niall did. "I think Niall had seen you-!"

Zayn pushes my hands away as he pisses off. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" He looks at me with angry eyes. He is lack of sleep, isn't he?

I suddenly realise. Niall was right. Zayn had somebody with him... and it is not me.... He's not normal himself. I didn't turn him into this. But it's still killing me to see my best friend like that, and the main point is, to me, he's not just a buddy. I know I do love him too, and if this love comes from both of us why can't I just accept it? It is because of me that Zayn is like this. He is living a miserable life that even himself can't control it, or he wants it that way.

Zayn's P.O.V

Liam touched me and that was something I couldn't bear. I'm trying to forget him, I'm trying to have my old life back, the life I used to live when I wasn't with him, the slutty one. It really reminds me of the time when Liam stepped into my life and turned them up side down. I was no longer hang out with my bad friend, I hardly ever thought of smoking, since the boy doesn't like it, and all the tattoos on my body were significant for our love. Now, all I do is for pleasure, for pain, for letting him know my life is incomplete without him.

"Zayn... I'm sorry." Liam is standing in front of me and that thought just keeps on tearing my heart apart. He might not see how badly it bleeds and he might not hear how badly it screams out for him to hold, but he has to feel it dying for that 3 little words. And that 3 little words are not I am sorry. "Zayn, I truly am. I don't know if I had done this to you but please, I never want you to suffer like this."

"Don't use that tone with me Liam," I snap plainly. "it's not your fault that I'm like this. You got your decision to make and I got mine. Out of sight, out of mind. Don't blame yourself for something you don't do or something you're not sure. You not that.." I feel tears are streaming down my face at about any minute, why is it so hard to say 'important'? I lied. It's all his fault, I want to blame him for everything, I want to say he's not important, but it would be a lie.

"I'm not what?" Liam frowns, he knows I can't do it. He's so sure about it, but he keeps on asking. I feel weak in my voice. I can barely stand on my on feet.

"You're not... important." I say nonchalantly, without looking at him. I know if I do, all I'm going to be is ended up vulnerable.

Liam's P.O.V

Zayn said it. He said that I wasn't important. Every word, every breath is so clearly, and I thought my heart just drop, it stops beating. Zayn is so cruel... I can't stand this anymore. This has to stop. One of us has to stop this. It's now or never.

"Zayn." I take a deep breath. I hold his head, moving closer. Zayn didn't even notice until his head is locked up in my two arms. "Look at me." I gaze at his dark brown eyes as he does the same to mine. "Say it again."

Zayn is still gazing at me with his eyes begin to water. NO Zayn, don't cry, you know what it will do to me. "Say it Zayn, just say that I'm of no importance or I'm not worth loving or anything you come up with." It's not a dare, I want him to get over me...

"I can't..." The room fills with silence. This doesn't meet my expectation. "Liam I can't..." Zayn begins to sob. "No matter what I do, what I'm trying to do, I can't-can't get you out of my mind, don't you get it?..."

"You're much more than that." I have to hold back. I want to kiss him... I want to hold him in my hand. I want to spend the night snogging him and saying how apologetic I am and how much meaningful he is to me, but all I can do is to hold back. It is not feeling right, it just got out of control... This relationship...

"Liam, I know what you are doing," Zayn pauses and swallows his tears back inside, "and it's not gonna work. It even makes matter worse, makes me realise how much I love you and how much I need you in my life. I know-"

Zayn covers his face, he can't bear it any longer, all burst out. I have to leave. NOW

"Zayn I think you're-"

"NO Liam, if you leave now, I'll come after you another time. You can't avoid seeing me for the rest of your life. You love me too don't you? Do you really want to leave now?" Zayn presses every single word.

"..." I remain silent. I can't think of anything besides holding him and kissing him.

Zayn walks past me and heads towards the door. He clicks it open. "Go on. I'm not going to give up even if you leave. You can decide to go and I can decide to chase after you, can't I?" Then he reaches me. "You saved me once, don't you wanna save me this time?"

I touch his hand and pull it out. "I'm sorry." Then I walk out of the house with Zayn looking at me leaving.

I walk to the car without looking back. But i have the feeling like I've heard the wind, or Zayn, whisper: "I'll never let you go!"

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A/N: This is the first opening ending I've ever written. And yup, it's quite enjoyable torturing them ♥. So vote comment fan?