On the day I can finally go back to school, its the last day before the Holiday break. Even though I wanted to come this morning, I regret the decision now. Its hard rolling through the halls in a wheelchair, my hands tiring easily.

The halls are busy with students roaming before classes, loud laughing and banging of lockers. Teachers are more enthusiastic and friendly but that's probably because the Holidays are right around the corner.

But it isn't the same.

It's different because Austin doesn't greet me with the usual kiss on the cheek and smart aleck remark like he does every morning. He's not walking to class or leaning by my locker, waiting to sneak me off school grounds to go to the Diner.

And I don't like it.

"Hey, are you even listening to me?" Andrea, who is walking beside me hisses, she pinches my arm. I pull away from her and rub my arm. "You know it's not nice to ignore your best friend right?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm just not feeling nice today, sorry," I say, a bit harsh.

Andrea says something but I'm caught off guard when I see Austin round the corner and begin to walk toward us. He's dressed in a black long sleeved shirt with blue jeans on, carrying a book. I expect him to stop me and beg for forgiveness.

Instead he barely acknowledges me as he walks by.

I drop my head.

"Do you want to go Christmas shopping this weekend? We can take Cassie and Whitney too," Andrea offer. "It'll get your mind off some things."

After thinking about it for a minute, I agree to go.

It's only a week until Christmas anyway, which is exciting. It's my favourite part of the year, and I usually have all my shopping done by now. It will be different without Tyler, but I know he will be everywhere I look anyway .

The bell rings for class and Andrea and I separate ways. It's my final class of the day, Chemistry. Thankfully, my mom is picking me up half way through to go to the hospital for a checkup. When I roll into the classroom, Austin is already there but isn't sitting in his usual seat.

He's sitting up front, tapping his pencil against the desk.

For a second, his green eyes meet mine and soften but then he glances away. My heart sinks, and although I want to say something, anything, I continue to wheel past Austin and sit in my regular seat.

I don't focus on what Ms. Kinney is saying, until she snaps her fingers in my face and gives me some papers.

"Emma, here is the worksheets from the past week and the quiz I sent home with Ben," she says, her eyes piercing into mine. "I really hope you're able to catch up, or you might fail my class." I mumble thanks and realize it's a quiz I had taken a few days ago. A big, fat F sits at the right hand corner of the page is red ink.

"Hey, would you care if I sit here?" someone asks, an English voices evident. I look up and see Tucker standing next to the seat Austin usually sits in.

I shrug a shoulder. "You can sit," I say. He slides into the seat, dropping his bag to the floor. "Are you any good at Chemistry?"

Tucker laughs. "No, I'm a horrible science person," he says, smiling. "I'm better at art and history."

"Oh really, do you have any pictures of your artwork?" I ask, interested. Tucker reaches into his back pack, taking out a black spiraled sketchpad. He opens it up and my mouth drops in awe.

"Wow," I say, staring at the beautiful collage of animals drawn in pencil. "This is amazing."

"Thank you," Tucker says, bowing his head. "Perhaps I can draw you?"

There is the abrupt scraping of a chair and I flinch at the loud noise, looking over. Austin stands, gathering his bag and books. He leaves the classroom, not offering any explanation to Mr. Kinney, who is watches the door shut as we're left wondering where he's going.

Tucker turns his attention back to me. "So, what do you say?"

I shake my head, offering a small smile. "No, maybe some other time. You're a fantastic artist though."

There is a ache in the pit of my stomach and I am more than ready to leave when my mom picks me up.

"Did you have a good 'first' day back, honey?" my dad asks, hugging me tight as he walks into my room, knocking.

I accept his hug. "No," I say, mumbling into his shoulder. "It was rather shitty and I have this essay I have to write for english."

I've been trying to write it since I got home from school, but there's arguing in upstairs that seems to echo down. I don't have the energy to go and find my ear buds, which I left in the kitchen. Now I have no way to block out my brothers and they are really irritating.

"Shut up!" I hear through the wall, followed by a loud crash and a bang on the wall.

"Fuck you Logan, you think you know everything? Well you don't!" Quinn's familiar screech echoes to my room and I finally have enough of the noise. There is more yelling and crashing around, thumping on the stairs as two of my brother continue their fight. My dad runs out of my room, going out to investigate. I follow him, struggling to keep up because of the damn crutches. The only time I'm allowed to use them are at home.

"What's going on?" I ask, standing beside my dad, taking in the scene before me as Logan and Quinn square off.

"We're about to find out," he mumbles, taking in the scene in front of him.

Quinn is struggling to get loose and is pushing back against Logan.

I widen my eyes, unsure of what to do and I cover my mouth.

My dad jumps into action though, ripping Quinn from Logan's grip and shoving my two brothers apart. "What the hell is going on?" He asks, folding his arms against his chest. By the tone, I know he means business.

Quinn looks desperately at Logan.

My dad clears his throat, and I see he is tapping his foot, showing how impatient he's getting.

Logan sighs. "Quinn's been drinking," he says, looking over at Quinn.

Quinn narrows his eyes but rubs his face.

"I caught him last night. He was drunk, so helped him to bed. I came up this morning to tell him either he had to tell you or mom, or I would."

"Quinn, is this true?" my dad asks, turning to Quinn.

Quinn looks down at his feet, nodding his head. My dad is silent as he stares at him. Everyone is silent as they take this news in. Unsurprisingly, I know Quinn has been drinking with friends and partying. It surprised me that he let it get this far that Logan noticed and talked to him about it, giving the ultimate choice to choose between him telling mom and dad or Logan telling them.

Quinn didn't want anyone to find out hence is why he attacked Logan.

"Quinn, don't leave this room. Your mother and I will talk to you later," my dad says sternly, then nods to Logan and I. "Logan, Emma, let's talk outside."

We step outside, my dad giving Quinn another stern look before he ushers us into the hall. Logan stands next to me with his arms crossed, his eye brows furrowed. My dad leans on the wall, glancing between us.

"Logan, what did you say? You didn't go all therapist on him, did you?"

I struggle not to laugh, covering it up with a cough. As everyone already knew, Logan liked to go therapist on someone in a tough situation, usually driving them insane.

"I only wanted to help him," Logan says, sighing, confirming he went shrink on Quinn.

"No wonder he attacked you then," I say, and Logan shoves me away from him. Dad's lips start to go upward but he quickly frowns again.

"Logan, have you ever thought maybe Quinn doesn't need a therapist," my dad says. "Maybe he needs a brother."

Logan nods before heading downstairs, leaving Dad and I.

"You alright? You look a little tired," my dad says.

I shrug. "Just a little."

"Better get some rest before tonight," he says, grinning. "You know your brothers suck at picking out Christmas trees."

"Let's go, your mom wants us back by supper time!" my dad calls, his voice carrying up the stairs to summon my brothers.

I leap off the sofa, zipping up the jacket I already have on and pull on my black winter boots.

Joey tears down the stairs, huffing and out of breath. "Don't leave without me, don't leave without me!"

My dad catches him, picking him up and spinning him around in a circle. I smile.

"Of course we wouldn't leave without you buddy," my dad says, laughing. He sets Joey back down on the ground so he can get his jacket and boots on. I squat down on the floor, helping Joey with his boots and glance up when I hear loud stomps on the stairs.

Jude, Aidan, and Ben sound like elephants as the come down the stairs, shoving each other playfully to be the first to reach the bottom. I roll my eyes at their immaturity.

"Are you sure Emma should be outside in this weather?" Jude asks, eyeing me as he puts his jacket on. My mom, who is in the kitchen, wipes her hands on a towel and laughs.

I groan. "Not this again Jude," I say.

"Yes, Jude. The doctor said a little bit of fresh air will do some good," my mom says, rolling her eyes at me, then helps Joey with his jacket. Jude and Aidan stand beside me, dressed in their winter gear.

Jude turns to me and offers a hat and mittens.

"I'm fine, I'll put them on later when we get to the Christmas tree lot," I say, refusing to put them on.

"Well, I wasn't really offering them to you, it was more like a subtle 'put them on now' gesture," he says, shrugging. I look at him incredulously.

On my other side, Aidan shoves a scarf into my hands. "Put this on too," he says.

I stare at them before taking them and putting the mittens and hat on, then wrapping the scarf around my neck.

My mom stifles a laugh, earning a glare from me.

"Happy now?" I ask my brothers. They nod and shrug nonchalantly.

Once everyone is ready, we begin the journey across town to a tree lot. We take Dad's truck, which is crowded because all the seats are used. Joey ends up in the middle, beside dad and continues to change the radio station from radio station, most of them playing Christmas songs.

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose," Joey sings, basically screaming out the lyrics. My brothers have their hands to their ears, wincing at the loudness. "And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows"

I grin, deciding rather than being in misery, thanks to Joey's wonderful singing, I might as well join in. "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." I belt out, making Aidan and Ben wince beside me.

Joey turns and grins before following along with the next verse. By the time we arrive at the lot, everyone is singing and we end up laughing so hard, tears escape from too much laughter. I laugh so much, I have to force myself to calm down because my chest hurts so much.

"Everyone out! Remember, tall and round," my dad begins.

"Not short and fat," we chant, getting out of the truck. Tall and round is the kind of tree mom likes, since it's easier to put up in the living room.

"So, little sister," Jude says, and wraps his arm around me. "My favourite sister, might I add, what are you getting me for Christmas?"

"First of all, I'm your only sister," I say, shoving off Jude's arm from my shoulders. "And second of all, I haven't bought anyone anything yet. However, just in case I do, what are you getting me?"

Jude laughs. "Well, I can't tell you that."

We move around people as they analyze trees, our boots crunching snow.

"Well, whatever it is, I hope it's better than last years," I say, glaring. I remember that he got me last year; a pair of socks.

"They were colourful though," he says, rolling his eyes as if that makes everything better.

I sigh and catch up to my dad and Joey. We must have looked over at least thirty trees before finding the perfect one.

By the time it's paid for and in the truck, I'm ready to go back to bed. My feet are frozen (well I can hardly feel one), and I'm shivering so bad I can hear my teeth chattering. When we get home, mom has the heat turned up so I'm roasting by the time I enter the kitchen and supper is set out. My brothers sit down at the table, their voices rising over one another.

"Have any luck finding a tree?" she asks, kissing my dad on the cheek. Joey crawls up onto his chair at the table and begins to tell her all about the adventure, right up until we came in the door.

"Where's Daniel? And Quinn? I haven't seen them all day," Owen says, coming from the living room. Both my parents look at each other, and I wonder if they will tell us what happened with Quinn.

My mom and dad look at each other.

"Quinn is going to be going to therapy on Fridays," she says, "and if anyone wants to join him-"

Owen shakes his head. "No thanks," he says, stepping away. My mom looks to me.

"No, I already had my stint with a shrink, I don't need another," I say, ignoring the looks my parents are giving each other. "Oh, and by the way, Andrea and I are going to the mall tomorrow. Beatrice already said she'd drive and Cassie is coming too." I look across the table at Logan, my lips twitching.

"Logan, if you like, you can come too," I say, hinting at the fact Cassie will be there. He narrows his eyes as Quinn comes down the stairs.

"Fuck off Em," he hisses, his voice low so our parents don't hear. Quinn does, hitting the back of his head as he walks by to his seat. At least I'm not the subject of Quinn's brutality anymore, which is fine by me.