The frigid air stung as I pulled up near a familiar house, the yard and symmetrical foliage that lined the front were frosted white. Apparently after tonight, the snow would really start falling but for now, the roads were dry despite the icy air that froze in my lungs. I stopped several houses down and checked the time. The digital clock on my dashboard signaled it was a few minutes past midnight. Perfect. A single window shone in the otherwise dark house, a bulletin board advertising the high I was fiending for. A jolt of electricity shot through me as I killed the engine, pulled my beanie further down over my ears as I slipped out into the wintery night.

The front door opened before I even made it to the porch and a figure slipped out, silently shutting the door behind him. He was dressed in a heavy black canvas jacket, dark jeans, and a matching knit hat. His Everglade eyes were evident even in the inky night.

"Change of plans." He was giving me a devilish smile as he pulled me to him by the hem of my coat and planted a feverish kiss on my lips, making my knees go weak.

"Oh? You tired of sneaking me into your bedroom?" I gave him a suggestive smirk as we broke apart. I was mildly disappointed we weren't spending the evening in his room; I'd even shaved for the occasion.

"Never," he flashed me another a toothy grin and a wink as he glanced around before fishing out his car keys. "Where are you parked?"

"Yeah Judd, I know it's still a secret," I rolled my eyes at the question. I'd been parking four houses down for almost three weeks. He didn't want to tell his family about us, not that we were an official thing anyway, but it bothered me to keep it from Leah. It wasn't easy to crawl into Judd's bed the night before and then face Leah the next day at school, even for me. I knew it was based solely on the fact he was afraid I would change my mind again but that didn't stop the sting of feeling like I was just a secret.

He gave me a skeptical glance, a frown pulling his mouth down at the edges as we walked towards his car.

"I don't want my parents to see your Jeep here and mine gone numb-nuts. My parents will be up in a few hours to go Black Friday shopping." He grimaced as if the idea left a bad taste in his mouth. "Do you mind driving? I just need to grab something." He crawled into the backseat and grabbed something from under the seat as I watched him with a curious look. He emerged with a beat-up baseball bat and slung it lazily over his shoulders and looked me up and down with that same smirk from earlier.

"Ooh are we busting somebody's kneecaps?" I suggested as we made our way to my own vehicle, the frozen grass crunching beneath our shoes as we crossed the neighboring yards. Judd tossed the metal slugger into the back and it landed somewhere on the floor with a metallic clang.

"I want you to meet some friends of mine. But who knows, the night is still young," He chuckled as he fiddled with the radio, settling on some rock n roll station. He wanted me to meet his friends. Surely that meant something right? A small part of me whined about avoiding human contact but I drowned it out. This was a good thing. We weren't together but I knew he wanted to be. I was constantly going back and forth due to my own insecurities, but he was willing to give me all the space I wanted as long as I was still willing to stay and cuddle for awhile after our midnight escapades.

He gave me directions and relaxed into the seat, his left hand slipping to my denim-clad thigh, squeezing it experimentally before settling along the material, content to run the length of my Rectus muscle.

"How was your Thanksgiving?" I began as we drove into the night, ignoring the fluttering in my chest at the friction his actions were causing on my skin.

"Stupid. My mom always goes all out and family we never talk to shows up and everyone acts all buddy buddy for a few hours as they stuff themselves like pigs and then everyone goes back to ignoring each other for another year. How was yours?"

"Sounds about right," I laugh nervously. He noticed the off pitch in my voice immediately. My father and I ordered take out and watched the Godfather trilogy. This was the first year we weren't with Mom.

"What's wrong?" He could see through my bullshit every time. It was fascinating how he could pick up on the tiniest changes in the atmosphere but simultaneously it made it very difficult to hide anything from him.

"Nothing. This was our first year without Mom is all. It was awkward... and lowkey kind of sad," I joked with a laugh. It was funny saying it out loud, especially given the circumstances. Last year was terrible.

"Why?"

"Um, well my mom usually did the cooking and festivities but now she's gone. So, my dad and I just ordered Chinese and watched movies which really isn't that bad considering what happened last year." I didn't have to look at him to know he was watching me. The hand against my leg switched tactics and smoothed over my jeans in almost a soothing manner. He seemed to be mulling something over in his head.

I knew his question before he asked.

"So, my dad never argued with my mom, right? That was part of the reason she couldn't stand him. She would get in his face and try to get a reaction out of him, but he would always either ignore her or go into another room. So last year she was ranting and raving about something and it got bad. She had just served him with divorce papers a few days previously but was trying to act like a family one last time for my sake, I guess. I was sitting in the living room and Dad just walks outside and Mom follows him out there screaming and goes ballistic and ended up throwing a dinner plate at him and the neighbors called the cops."

"Damn," Judd barked out a laugh before continuing. "Seriously though, that sucks. I've gathered your mom is quite the nutcase."

"Where do you think I get it from?" I bit my lip and turned into a rundown apartment complex at his behest. It was three rows of brick square buildings and the word 'trap house' came to mind as we pulled into the parking lot and parked. A skinny black cat scurried across the blacktop away from us.

As we exited my Jeep, Judd grabbed the baseball bat and led the way toward a line of cars away from the apartments, linking my arm in his and pulling me close.

"So, do I get to know what we're doing now?" I asked, trying to keep up with his brisk walking.

"I already told you," he grinned and stopped in front of a dilapidated van that was covered in rust and graffiti. The chipping Carolina paint was a memoir to the vehicle's prime which judging by the make and model, was about 30 years ago. It reminded me of something out of a stoner movie. He made a grand gesture at the vehicle as if showing off some sort of amazing surprise. "I want you to meet some friends."

No sooner had he spoken, the door to the raggedy car opened with a loud bang, a cloud of white smoke and the sounds of coughing and heavy metal spilling out into the air. My heart leapt to my throat and I had to resist the urge to hide behind Judd as someone stepped out.

"Judd you made it!" The stranger exchanged fist bumps with him before turning to me. "Is this the little thing you've been pining over?" His heavily lidded eyes swept over me quickly and returned to Judd.

"Shut the fuck up Mav," Judd ducked his head quickly and I glanced up at him. Was he blushing? "I don't pine."

A female voice giggled from somewhere inside the van. "Introduce us to your inamorata Judd!"

Judd looked at me with a sheepish smile and held his hand toward the Ford Econoline, motioning for me to enter. Adrenaline rushed through my veins and I had to resist the sudden urge to hide behind him.

Breathing through my nose, I crawled in, his hand resting against my back as I ended up face to face with a couple older teenagers, sitting in a cramped circle on the faded orange shag carpet. It smelled like weed and grease and there were beer cans littering the floor. There were no seats other than the driver and passenger side.

I was hit with several greetings as Judd and the Mav dude who had jumped out joined us in the tight space.

"Alright everyone this is Devi," Judd introduced me with a wave of his hand as he snatched a blunt out of mid air as it was being passed to a girl with dark eyes and a green mohawk. She gave him a frown and stuck her pierced tongue out at him.

"Devi this is PJ, Dee, and Maverick," he pointed to each person individually. PJ was a short blonde guy with a buzzcut who didn't look much older than me and had a Circle-A tattoo under his right eye. Dee was the green mohawk girl and she stuck her hand out to shake mine.

"Nice to meet you guys," I managed, amazingly not tripping over my words. My cheeks were aflame, and I was trying to relax when Judd got my attention, passing me the blunt. It was interesting to see what kind of company Judd kept but I couldn't say I was surprised.

"So, have you ever been mailbox smashing before or do we need to show you the ropes?" Mav was watching me as I inhaled the thick smoke and exhaled a moment later. I wondered momentarily if this is where Judd got his weed.

" is what we're doing?" I turned to Judd with a raised eyebrow.

"You're not scared are you princess?" He challenged, staring me down and leaning in. Even sitting down, he was taller than me and he was so close I could smell him. I wanted to crawl inside his coat and stay there.

"I'm not fucking scared. Just didn't know that's what you New Yorkers did for fun." I met his gaze with steel eyes. I'd never gone mailbox smashing. I'd done plenty of other illegal activities, but vandalism wasn't particularly high on my fun list.

"It's the great American pastime," PJ smirked impishly, fiddling with the bat Judd had brought with him as I passed him the blunt and relaxed into my beau who had wound his arm around my waist.

"We have to get one last time in before the snow hits. It's not easy to outrun the pigs when the roads are covered with a foot of snow," Dee explained with a smile as she lightly smacked PJ and winked at me. "Not impossible though."

We continued to talk, and they all made jokes at each other's expense until the blunt dwindled and burned out. Apparently, Dee, Maverick, and Judd had all been childhood friends. PJ had moved here two years ago with his mother and he's who lived in the brick apartments. I was right about my earlier assumption. He was the same age as me and his real name was Jackson. The older teens had taken him under their collective wings, and he had earned the affectionate nickname "Pyro Jack" or PJ when word got around he'd been the one setting fires in the bathrooms at school to get out of exams.

My head felt buoyant and I could barely see for all the hazy smoke we were hot boxing. It made my heart melt to see Judd interacting with his friends, laughing and being foolish and happy. The longer I sat there, the more at home I felt, and the more mailbox smashing sounded like an incredible idea despite it being a felony.

"It's so weird to see you with a girl J," Dee commented to Judd amidst some joke I'd missed before turning to me. "Ya know it's been so long since he's brought anyone around, we were beginning to think he was gay."

"No that's you, doughnut bumper," Judd tossed an empty beer can at her in retaliation.

"Keep it up Juddy and I'll have your girlfriend with my breakfast," she wagged her tongue at us and made obscene gestures with her fingers.

Vermillion flushed across my face and I was about to speak up for myself when Maverick stood and announced it was time to get going, interrupting Dee and Judd's banter and immediately changing the conversation.

Various whoops and hollers of approval rose from everyone around me as he climbed into the front seat and brought the ancient metal beast to life, the engine screeching as we pulled out onto the road.

**

Twenty minutes later we were outside the city completely, driving down roads with very few streetlights and even fewer houses.

"Alrighty ladies and gents choose your players and let's get ready to play ball!" Maverick used his best announcers voice as we picked up speed.

The air was electric charged as we all scrambled and argued. Naturally, it was Judd and I versus PJ and Dee. The opposing team won the coin toss, so they were going first, and Dee was already in the passenger side, half hanging out of the window and swinging the bat experimentally and ready to begin. The cold winter air swirled around the interior of the van and despite the frigid temperature, I was only shaking from the thrill vibrating through my body.

"Alright so it's just like regular baseball. Three strikes you're out got it? Hit it and it's a point. Knock the mailbox off completely and it's a homerun. Most points by the ninth inning wins." Judd's juniper eyes were lit with excitement, his smile contagious as he gripped my shoulders tightly as we rocked with the aged van that roared down the dark country road. I had no idea what I was doing, all I knew in that moment was I wanted to win this stupid fucking game and make him proud.

"Batter up!" Maverick said aloud as we approached an especially rusty looking mail receptacle. Dee was ready, the metal slugger at attention and ready. It took only mere seconds for us to rush past, the teen swinging with all her might and knocking the copper brown cylinder right off the post it was bolted to, sending papers flying behind us. I watched through the windows with a grin as the papers soared and floated away into the black night and Dee let out a victorious wolf howl as she climbed back into the car, gasping breathlessly and cheeks bright red from the harsh wind. She handed the bat to PJ who slapped her ass as she traded him places.

"Thatta girl Dee!" He praised and positioned himself in the same way, taking a moment to spit his gum out along the road and banged the bat along the bottom of the passenger door before bringing it up to his shoulder, ready for the 'ball'.

PJ wasn't as lucky as his partner and missed the first one we came up on but did manage to hit the next mailbox, leaving it swinging back and forth on its post as we rushed by.

"Fucking bitch!"

Judd chuckled and leaned into me. "He's not very good."

"But it still counts don't get cocky," I corrected him, stealing a kiss as the boy hissed a long line of curses out of frustration and all but threw the bat at us as he took his place next to Dee.

"Watch it fuck nuts!" Judd growled, whipping his head toward the shorter male who flipped him off before turning back to me and rolling his eyes. "Alright Devi don't make me regret this. I'm reining champ don't tarnish my reputation."

He placed the bat in my hands and smacked my ass as I stood, wobbling as the entire van shook and chugged.

The icy wind roared in my ears and made my eyes water heavily as I peered out of the window, suddenly not feeling as confident as I had when I was wrapped in my lover's arms.

"Come on fresh meat we don't have all night!" Mav warned, reaching over to push my back, forcing my upper body out into the open. My heart raced and pounded against my ribcage as I positioned myself just like I'd seen everyone else do, the bat catching in the air as I slipped it over my shoulder and steadied myself.

No backing out now.

My target came into view, the yellow headlights catching on the reflectors. It was aluminum and shaped like a chicken, the green and white 'plummage' a stark contrast to black night. My heartbeat was drumming in my ears as I tightened my grip on the handle and shifted, adrenaline and anxiety coursing through me.

It was only a few feet away when I shut my eyes and swung for everything I was worth.

I'd never hit anything with a bat, metal or otherwise. So, I wasn't ready for the deafening reverberating whack that sounded nor the deep vibration that shot up my arm from the force of hitting a metal mailbox while moving fifty miles an hour. I almost dropped the bat but thankfully I was able to grab onto it before it was too late. The only thing I could register was the wind blowing in my face and the ringing in my ears. I couldn't even open my eyes.

It was like I was under water and everything was muffled and moving in slow motion. Something pulled me in by the back of my coat and it was like a switch had flipped and sound returned. Imprimatur roars and applause met me as I blinked in confusion and turned to take in their reactions.

Mav was giving me a toothy grin and holding his hand up to high five me, Dee and PJ were applauding and Judd... Judd was looking at me like he wanted to either ravage me or fall down at my feet and worship me, likely a combination of the two.

I gave them all a shaky smile and reciprocated Maverick's high five as I climbed into the back with everyone else. JP clapped me on the back as I sat down cross legged between him and Judd.

"That was amazing!" Dee complimented and we traded fist bumps. I was still trying to catch my breath and every synapse in my body was firing, leaving my entire being tingling and twitching. I felt on top of the world.

Judd's hand found its way around my neck and he pulled me in for a passionate kiss, only pulling away to whisper in my ear. "That was the fucking hottest thing I've ever seen you do."

"Alright lovebirds come on we're just getting started!" JP shoved my shoulder and handed the bat to Judd who took it in a steady hand and grinned deviously at me, confidence dripping off him.

"Watch how it's done," he planted a quick kiss on my lips and started towards the front, eager to get his turn. This was going to be an awesome fucking night.

**

"I can't believe we won!" I cried in disbelief as we pulled up to Judd's house hours later, the first rays of sunlight peaking over the horizon. It reminded me of the night on Halloween, minus the sexual tension and headache. The norepinephrine high was still flooding my brain, but my body was slowing down from exhaustion and my teeth were chattering despite the heat being on full blast.

"I never doubted you for a second," Judd had purple bags under his eyes, but the emerald green there shone just as brightly as it had when our night began. "I'm proud of you. You really held your own tonight you crazy bitch."

My chest fluttered at his praise as we came to a stop. I never wanted this night to end. I dropped my gaze to avoid showing him my reddening cheeks. I hoped he chalked it up to the wintery atmosphere.

"Hey, look at me." His fingertips were cold against my chin as he gently pulled my face up to meet his.

"I don't want you to see my stupid blush," I admitted, trying to move but he had me stuck in place as he reached over, his face mere inches from my own as he searched my eyes for something.

"I happen to like your stupid blush." He gave me a lopsided smile and kissed me, and I swear I forgot how to breathe.

"Judd...? W- what? Devi?" A shocked voice coming from my side of the car broke through my resolve and shattered the beautiful moment. If I weren't so suddenly afraid, I'd be livid. The oh so familiar tone sent slivers of fear puncturing through my chest cavity and my eyes shot open in time to see the color draining from Judd's face as his eyes flickered from mine to the driver side window.