petit biscuit, sunset lover.

Moving down the escalators I couldn't bring myself to raise my head, I was so unsettled here. I hadn't even been here for barely an hour, not even thirty minutes and goodness me I wanted to turn back. I wanted to run into... my face contorted run into whose arms? I shook my head as though the thought of running into Raheem's arms would fly out.

I heard her scream before I saw her face which didn't last long because in no time Amanda was running up towards me and next thing she was right in front of me. She gave me the grandest hug I've ever received and I couldn't help it, a tear slipped past my lashes.

"Hey," I smiled into her hair.

"Oh my goddess, I've missed you. You can never leave again."

I laughed as we pulled back behind her stood my family and the tears really came tumbling down once I spotted them. I ran up to my parents and hugged them both. I pulled back and hugged my brothers and their mates.

The drive back home was anything but silent, we were talking the whole way through, my tremendously dramatic family brought a limousine so that they could all fit. Nobody wanted to ride in the car without me, I thought it was the sweetest thing.

As usual my father is the one who has to speak of the elephant in the room, I knew he would do it but I thought he would at least wait for us to settle in. Or maybe tomorrow, jeez, what is the rush.

As soon as everyone had entered the house he began, "The King has been here quite a few times."

I sigh loudly, "Dad, I'm not here to speak about him."

He shrugs, "So what? We must tiptoe around the subject? No, you need to know what has been happening since your departure."

My mother sits besides me and wraps her hand around my waist smiling gently at me, "He only means well."

Anathi looked annoyed and I could only just feel his energy and I promise you, I shared that energy.

"The King was searching for you around the world, he would contact your brothers and ask them if they knew where you were. He got ahold of Amanda once but none of them told him anything. I was afraid Amanda's knowledge of your area was enough for him to narrow the search but I guess not.

"He hasn't contacted any of us for a few days now but I'm assuming with your arrival he'll be able to both find out where you came from and that you've returned."

I shrug, "I couldn't be bothered with him knowing where I am or was. The Origen Pack don't care about them nor are they ruled by Micah and his family, so, I'm fine back there."

My father's brows dip, "They aren't? I had no idea."

I lay back, "Yeah, so you don't have to worry about me once I head back."

Everyone's head turned, "Once you head back?" Anathi repeats.

My face contorts, "Uhm, yeah, I mean I don't know if I'm staying here or going back just yet."

My mother draws back, looking me in the eyes, "Why would you head back? Kunani lapha?"

[what is there over there?]

I laugh nervously, "Nothing, it's just so beautiful there. None of this fuss and the obvious, they don't care about the Royals. I never have to hear about him, everyday is a breath of fresh air."

My mother narrows her eyes, she knows there's more, "Well, whatever it is you choose we'll always be behind you, backing you."

I smile broadly, "Thanks Ma."

I can see the look in everyone's eyes, they're all thinking the same thing. My goddess, I can't believe I'm that obvious. They all clearly know now that there's more to the reason why heading back to Dubai is something I actually would do.

Although, to be fair I was thinking of it way before I even knew Raheem. He really isn't reason enough for me to uproot my life, although he is reason enough to miss the place.

The day is spent just like that, with my family and friends all day around the house. Sometime down the line it turned into a braai and obviously no one complained. I certainly did not, I have not had a braai in ages.

My father and brothers were all outside standing above the fire, getting the coals burning just right whilst the ladies and I were in the kitchen making salads and marinating meat.

The atmosphere was brilliant, I loved being home and being around all of my loved ones. They were truly missed and my spirit needed it. I needed it, I couldn't be happier right now. Could be happier if he was here. I nearly dropped the knife at that thought.

Goddess, why is he all in my mind? I'm kilometres away from him, why is he still harboured in my mind? This is madness, I thought for sure this distance would dissipate the crush.

Clearly I was wrong and I cannot for the life of me understand why.

When the braai is over and when we've all eaten Anathi wants to take me out to the other side of our parents house and I already know he wants to speak about Raheem. I know he knows nothing about him but that is definitely what he wants to know.

"So who is he?"

We move through the garden and eventually come to a stop at the bench that overlooks much of the garden and the house.

I look over at Anathi trying to be as nonchalant, "Who is who?"

"Whoever is waiting for you back in Dubai."

I threw my head back and laughed, "Waiting for me? What? Who do you think I am? The Queen?"

He chuckles, "You know what I mean, stop deflecting."

I went ahead and told him all there was to tell and he just sat and listened making sounds here and there to let me know he's listening. Once I was done he looked over at me and gave me a look I couldn't breakdown.

"So you would... go back for him?"

My eyes instantly turned to the ground as though the grass was suddenly far more interesting, "I feel like I would but I don't know why. I don't even know why I think about him so much, he has invaded my mind and it's just the craziest thing."

I turned my body to look at my brother, "I don't know him Anathi, I don't but I want to know him. I want to know him so much and I want to spend time with him all the time. I spent perhaps a week with him, maybe three purposefully it doesn't make any sense."

He smiled knowingly, "Well then I think you should go back."

I know my face was depicting my shock, "What?"

He nodded, "Lerato for your whole life all you've ever wanted is the perfect fairytale. You've dreamt of love and wanted love your whole life and here is someone who is willing to possibly give you just that and you actually want it from him. What's standing in your way? It can't be that douche, it can't be us. We're a trip away, we could come there or you two come here.

"Either way we will always be here and your job? Good ol' nepotism always works well." I nudged him and he chuckled, "I'm kidding but you're so great at what you do Lerato they would be dumb not to hire you."

"I'm a vet, Anathi they don't shift much in that Pack I'd have zero to no patients."

He rolled his eyes, "You're going to tell me they have no pets?"

I laughed, "Oh, yes that could work."

He smiled at me, "So what's really holding you back?"

I looked up at the sky willing my eyes not to do this, we had been good for a solid two weeks. Why oh why do I suddenly want to cry now? I tried to fight it but as soon as I blinked a tear slipped past.

"He has a mate out there."

That's what it always boiled down to, I can't do what Madeline did, I can't take someone's mate. I would feel awful, I would feel sick to my stomach every time I saw him. I just couldn't do something like that, no matter how great and whole he makes me feel.

Anathi places his hand on my knee, "Amir said you don't know him... maybe you should do that before you think things like that."

I paused for a moment, stunned at his words. He's right, Amir did say that and he said it exactly when I was trying to downplay Raheem's interest in me. I looked over at my brother as though he had just said the single most smartest thing he could have ever said.

The pessimist in me didn't let me think too far though, "Yeah well, what are the odds of that." I shrug.

My luck has been horse manure so far, why on earth would it suddenly change? What could have possibly even happened to his mate? She could not have run off and Bounded to someone else. I laughed at the thought, "Imagine if his mate is Madeline."

Anathi joined me and laughed too, "Goddess, that would be wild."

"How was the Ceremony?"

He choked on his laugh coughing violently I chuckled and patted his back, "Jeez, I didn't think it was that much of a surprising question."

"I was not expecting it," he cleared his throat, "I suppose as Ceremony's go it was grand but I mean, I just wanted to leave the whole time I was there. Everyone looked happy and joyful, not a single wolf looked unhappy, so, he must be good at covering up his emotions."

I chuckle, "Still didn't break his cover" I roll my eyes, "What a pathetic wolf. I hope he doesn't show up while I'm here. I really have no intention of seeing him, he'll have to drag me out the house to see him because I'm not going any-damn-where."

Anathi gave me a sympathetic smile, "You know he's going to show up." He turned his head to look at our parents home, "Unless you stay here."

I followed his eyes and I knew he was right, he wouldn't come near me here. If I stayed alone in my own home he would definitely come after me, however, I came home to be home not to be in hideaway.

"If... When he comes to my home I'll just have to listen to what he has to say but I'm not going to hide. I didn't come home for that, I came back so I could step right back into my day-to-day routine. How am I supposed to see it being home is right for me if I'm hiding?"

I suppose he understood because he nodded, "That's the sister I know, the fighter. I'm glad you're back."

I caught the double meaning and I had to agree with him too, it feels so good to be back.