This Situation made me feel so...so...non-essential, so decieved

I couldn't stop thinking about her and her friends, who ignored me aswell.

I got so depressed, that I started to hurt myself, for not being good enough and I was so frustrated.

I just don't even know what to write next...

I'm just laying in my bed and thinking what comes next, but I don't know!

I just don't know and it makes me going crazy!

My parents realized what I was doing with myself and wanted to protect me, but Iguess they still don't know how.

I don't really know when the fight turned, but suddenly C. and her sister were so fu***** mad at me and until now I don't even know what I did. We often wrote via WhatsApp. I know that you shouln't clarify via Whats App, but once I started to write, I couldn't stop. I was too inquisitive...

They destroyed me. They said that I did not have any serious problems but an attention disorder and that I did something incredibly bad that would have destroyed C. inwardly

I was so perplexed, I did not have the slightest idea what I could have done and that made me even sadder than I already was and I was carving nearly every two weeks.

C. said she wouldn't miss me.

She wouldn't care about me.

But I knew the truth...She did care about me, more than she knew and I just hoped that she would understand, that I needed her and I just wanted her to tell me what I did.

But she didn't and it make me feel like dirt, like nothing....

It destroyed me.