Chapter 5: Denial

“What's wrong, Crispin?” Jack asked as the siren sat at the foot of his bed.

“What do you mean?” he asked, keeping his eyes on Jack's food tray. His boss had yet to eat a single bite of it. He was, however, used to Jack trying to talk to get out of eating. He was going to make sure it didn't work.

“Something's off about you today.” Jack said simply, trying to find what it was. That he could tell something was wrong at all pleased him; that he couldn't find what it was frustrated him. He would give almost anything to be able to go back to being his normal self.

“I'm fine.” Crispin promised. “Now eat so I can get back to work..”

“Tina's revenge.” Jack sighed. “Of course. That takes precedence for her and, by extension, you.”

“Don't be silly.” Crispin smiled. “I want revenge for my own reasons, too. She's not the only one.”

“Where is she?” Jack couldn't help but ask, looking around. “She's usually here with you when you're pestering me to eat.”

Crispin shrugged. “She's very busy. I'm sure she'll be here next time.”

Jack looked over at Crispin suspiciously. Crispin kept his peaceful smile firmly affixed on his face.

“So, it's about Tina.” Jack said. “What about her? I can't imagine she did anything that upset you.”

Crispin laughed silently and shook his head. “Is it really such an impossibility?”

“Nothing phases you.” Jack explained. “Of course, Tina likes to talk a lot but things like that have never bothered you before. So, what is it?”

Crispin shook his head. There was no way he could tell his boss, his first real friend, that he had terrified his daughter by kissing her. She wasn't admitting it either. She had gone back to pretending to ignore him. The others were even starting to get onto to her for treating him so coldly.

Crispin told himself that he didn't mind. It was, after all, what he expected and completely his fault.

He couldn't believe he had done something so stupid as to moan. He trained for years, practiced for as long as he could remember the art of staying completely silent. He never cried out in pain when he was hurt. He didn't laugh out loud when something was funny. And he absolutely never moaned in the middle of a sexual encounter with a woman.

He knew the consequences of that. It was he always kept silent. Yet, in a single moment, all of those years of silence had been completely destroyed by one wordless sound.

He didn't blame Tina for running. It was a scary thing to know you had almost acted against your own will. Even if Maddie's call had broken through the, admittedly, rather weak thrall he had placed on her, the fact was she had still succumbed to him for however brief a time it had been.

So he merely smiled and assured Jack, “Everything is fine.”

Jack fixed him was a stare that was startlingly reminiscent of the man he used to be. “You're lying.”

Crispin shook his head. “Why is it that your perceptivity is the same as before?”

“So you are lying.” Jack nodded once, pleased with himself. “Then tell me.”

Crispin sighed softly. “It's nothing that will interfere with our working relationship.”

“You're not working at MCRC anymore.” Jack reminded him with only a flash of pain going across his face at the thought. “I don't really care about interpersonal relationships anymore.”

Crispin chuckled silently. “We had a moment.” he admitted. “But it is over and done with. It won't ever happen again. I promise.”

Jack's eyes got narrow. “A moment?”

Crispin nodded. “Nothing...happened. Don't worry about it.”

“Why did nothing happen?” Jack surprised him by asking. “Why won't it happen again? Is there something wrong with my daughter?”

“That's not usually the stance parents take.” Crispin told him dryly.

Jack shrugged. “Tina's a grown woman. She can make her own choice in partners. What right do I have to say about them? However, I do get to question it when you say things like that. So, out with it.”

Crispin shook his head again. He didn't want to answer. It seemed private to him and, also, somehow wrong to discuss such a thing with her father. However, that fierce look on his face was familiar and missed. It was common knowledge that the only thing Jack loved as much as MCRC was his daughter. If he was feeling up to making demands, then he was doing better than he had for a while now.

So Crispin answered, “I think I frightened her.”

“Ha!” Jack laughed once, disbelievingly. “Scare my Tina? No one scares my Tina.”

“I think I was a little too...intense.” he admitted after a moment's hesitation. He didn't really want to be saying such things to Tina's father. However, Jack was one of the only people Crispin could speak to even if he couldn't really speak to him anymore.

“Intense?” Jack repeated. “That's good. Shows passion. I would rather someone be passionate about my daughter. That wouldn't scare her.”

“My voice scared her.” Crispin clarified. “I didn't mean to say anything. It just sort of came out. She ran when she realized the power my voice had over her.”

Jack was shaking his head even before Crispin finished his sentence. “There's no way my daughter is so weak willed as to fall to a siren, even one as powerful as you.”

“Desire can weaken will power considerably.” Crispin explained automatically.

“There you go then.” Jack nodded once as if Crispin had proved his point. “Any other time she would be able to stand up to you. You should try talking to her and prove it.”

“She's done with me.” Crispin signed with a slight frown. “I don't blame her.”

“I don't either.” Jack agreed harshly. “Especially if you're coming at her with such weak determination.”

Crispin blinked. “Again, not something a father would typically say.”

“You could be good for my Tina.” Jack explained, leaning back comfortably into the pillows behind him. “I know what manner of man you are and I approve of you. If you feel something for my daughter, than I say act on those feeling.”

“Your matchmaking talents coming to the fore again?” Crispin signed with a bit of a mocking smile.

Jack grimaced. “There is something else though.”

“And that would be?” Crispin asked.

“I'm worried about her.” Jack admitted, looking away. “It's this whole revenge thing. “

“She's only doing it out of love for you.” Crispin had no doubts that was true. Every time the reasoning for her revenge was brought up, Tina listed her father as a reason. “The others as well. What we're doing, we're doing for you.”

Jack gave him a sad smile. “I'm amazed you all care that much. And I'm thankful. Still, Tina never commits to something and then fails to follow through. If she says she'll hunt down Ozera, then she'll do it no matter what it costs her.”

“There are worse traits to have.” Crispin signed, not really seeing the problem.

“I just don't want her hunting down a white whale.” Jack said at last. “I don't want to to lose her to this revenge. Crispin, I want you to watch over her.”

“Me?” Crispin signed, surprised. “Why me?”

“That passion you have for her.” Jack smiled slightly. “If you care, you'll be more invested in making sure she's alright. I know I can count on you for this.”

Crispin was already shaking his head. “I don't think I can. She makes me lose myself control so easily. If I'm around her that often, I'll end up scaring her again.”

Jack scoffed. “My Tina's not made of such soft stuff. Me and her have never been all that close, all that affectionate. Her mother loved her with the same sort of aloofness I have. She's never felt true passion and love from someone. That would scare anyone confronted with it the first time.”

“Who said anything about love?” Crispin asked but he was ignored.

“Stay around her.” he continued. “Keep showing her that passion and she'll get used to it. Don't give up because it's difficult.”

Crispin sighed. This was not the sort of conversation he wanted to be having with Tina's father. But, he had to admit, Jack had a point. He certainly didn't enjoy forcing himself to stay away from her. He wanted more of her, he wanted to be able to hold her without worry.

Though he had always known he would be that way, somehow the thought of spending the rest of his life alone was even more off putting than it had been just a few weeks ago. Especially now that he knew how Tina had felt in his arms. Strong, unyielding, but still so soft and welcoming. Picturing her in his life was as easy as breathing. He wanted that. He wanted it desperately.

And if he had Jack's permission...

“I'll watch over her.” he promised sincerely. “But you know she won't listen if I ask her to stop.”

“Then don't ask.” Jack smiled, pleased. “Just keep an eye on her and, if it ever gets to the point where she needs to calm down for a while and she won't, then just tell her to.”

“She won't forgive me for that.” Crispin signed with a single raised eyebrow.

“Probably not.” Jack shrugged. “Just put the blame on me. I don't mind.”

XXXXXXXXXX

“I've got a list of all the illegal ports that would have the capabilities to service subs that I can find.” Ilia said, bringing up the list on her computer screen. “There are more than I thought there would be.”

“There isn't a great deal of different between submarine ports and ship ports.” Brooklyn said from the couch. She was going through Victor Ozera's paperwork. Kai was sitting beside her. Joe was actually impressed at how well her merman was taking care of the pregnant Brooklyn.

“There's not?” Tina asked unhappily.

Brooklyn shook her head.” Most of the time, when a sub makes port, it's just to resupply food. As long as you can get food into the sub, it wouldn't be hard to stop almost anywhere.”

Tina groaned unhappily. “Alright, Ilia. How many ports?”

“117.” Ilia smiled happily at Tina's second groan. “Also, a submarine only needs to come up for supplies every few months or so. The chances of you being at exactly the right port at exactly the right time are slim to none.”

“Maybe Ozera's files have some clue?” Joe asked hopefully.

“We haven't anything yet.” Brooklyn shook her head as Kai closed the file he was reading and reached for a new one. “I'll shout when we do.”

“Where are Dallas and Warren?” Joe asked, looking around for the two big men. “And Crispin for that matter? Is my man the only one willing to work around here?”

“Crispin is feeding my dad.” Tina answered with her arms crossed. “Warren and Dallas are fighting outside.”

“Fighting?” Brooklyn repeated surprised. “Over what? I thought Dallas and Warren were good friends.”

“They're sparing.” Ilia corrected. “Training, you know? Warren's good at hand to hand combat and Dallas is good with weapons. They're trading secrets.”

“Crispin isn't a bad fighter.” Joe said thoughtfully. “They should ask him for some pointers.”

“Let's focus on narrowing down the number of ports, okay?” Tina brought their attention back to the problem at hand. “Can't you do anything, Ilia?”

“Do you want me to enter a description of the sub?” Ilia asked dryly. “Black, long, no windows, spends a lot of its time underwater; think that will narrow the hits?”

“You could try searching for just nuclear powered submarines.” Joe suggested helpfully. “Those are considerably more expensive and harder to get on the black market. That might narrow your results.”

“Alright, alright.” Ilia turned back to her computer and began putting in some new commands. “Question: What are we going to do when we find this port?”

“Stake it out until the sub we want makes port.” Tina said simply.

“Then we what?” Ilia looked over at her. “Storm the place and hope for the best?”

“You got a better idea?” Tina asked dryly.

“Yeah. We could not do that.” she smiled innocently. “I'd just as soon rather not die.”

“Then don't worry.” Tina told her. “I'm not taking you. “I'm taking the muscle. The people I can use.”

“That doesn't mean you can take my boy toy, either.” Ilia jumped from her seat.

Before the fight could get started, Joe jumped between them. “Alright, enough of this. Ilia, to your computer. Tina, why don't you go check on Jack?”

“You're not my mother, Joe.” Ilia mumbled unhappily but she sat back down.

“I'm sure Crispin is taking fine care of my father.” Tina crossed her arms stubbornly.

Joe sighed exasperatedly. “Tina, we're all on the same side. If you can't pretend to get along then just get out of the way.”

“She's the one with the problem.” Tina pointed to her angrily. “I've never met someone so irresponsible in my life. She's contrary for the sake of it and she deliberately says things to make people mad!”

“Then don't give her the satisfaction of getting mad.” Joe said soothingly. “Ilia is useful.”

“And she's got a boat.” Ilia smirked over her shoulder. “It's more like a yacht really. Nice and spacious.”

“And what does that have to do with anything?” Tina asked her.

“Some of these places are easiest to get to by boat.” Ilia tapped her computer screen for emphasis. “A simple bribe and say hello to all the black market goods an illegal port town can offer. A few are not even accessible by foot or car to prevent tourists or governments from finding them.”

“Your point being you're willing to offer your boat.” Tina surmised easily.

“Maybe I will, if you stop being such an uptight b-”

“Ilia.” Joe snapped, cutting her off. “Civil, remember?”

“Civil war, maybe.” Ilia mumbled but she turned back to her computer.

“I found something.” Brooklyn held up a piece of paper triumphantly.

“What?” Tina turned from Ilia to her.

“They've been tracking the money that Eisenhower was laundering,” she explained, “and some of it keeps going into a few city names that I don't recognize.”

Joe took the paper from her and passed it over to Ilia.

“Nice work.” Tina praised. “Joe, I owe you huge for this.” She swept out her arms to indicate everything around her. She wouldn't have gotten nearly so far without Joe's help.

Joe waved her words away. “Don't think about it. I'm happy to do it.”

At that moment, Crispin walked into the living room and looked around at their pleased faces.

“Something good happen?”

“Just following a few leads.” Joe smiled. “How's Jack.”

“Better.” was all Crispin said but he had a strange look in his eye. Before anyone could question it, he turned to Tina. “A word?”

“Sure.” Tina said because she had no reason to deny him. “I'll be back in a minute. Keep going through those files, Brook.”

“No worries.” Brook smiled. “Since you're leaving, can you get me some water or juice or something.”

“I'll get it.” Kai volunteered immediately, standing up. “Anything else?”

“Just something to drink, thanks.” Brooklyn smiled up at him gratefully.

Crispin, Tina, and Kai left the room together but Kai continued on to the kitchen and Tina and Crispin, by unstated consent, went back upstairs and headed towards Jack's office.

Tina was feeling nervous but she tried not to show it.

She had made her decision on Crispin after she had given herself ample time to think far away from him. The truth of it was, he was just too dangerous to have a relationship with in this rather upsetting time she was in.

Maybe if she wasn't in the middle of seeking her revenge for her father she wouldn't mind. After all, she was clearly attracted to Crispin and he obviously had feelings back. However, now wasn't the time for her to focus on any relationship at all. Especially not one with a siren who could make her weak with a single moan.

As much as she didn't want to, and part of her really didn't want to, she was just going to have to lay it out clearly for him. They could not start a relationship.

They walked into Jack's office and Crispin shut the door behind him.

Because it made everything feel more business like, and because it put a shield in between her and him, Tina walked around her father's desk and took a seat in his large leather chair. She drew strength from that. She would tell Crispin no and they would move on friends.

“So, how is dad really doing?” she asked first, not seeking the simple, polite answer.

“Better.” Crispin repeated with a half smile. “Better enough to be making requests of me again.”

“That's great.” Tina beamed. “I'm glad he's getting better.”

Crispin nodded. “He asked me for a favor.”

“Oh?” Tina asked simply.

Crispin nodded again. “He wants me to look out for you.”

Tina blinked in surprised then her brows drew together in anger. “He what? I don't need a baby sitter.”

“That's not exactly what he meant.” Crispin smiled slightly.

“I know what he meant.” Tina jumped angrily to her feet. “I don't need a pair of men deciding to watch out for me like I'm some hysterical female.”

“It's not like that either.” Crispin signed patiently. “He wants me to keep you grounded. He doesn't want to lose you to a white whale.”

“That damn whale again.” Tina growled. “Listen here, you tell that man that I'm a grown woman and perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“He said very nearly the same thing.” Crispin assured her. “He just wants me to be there to ensure your foot doesn't get tangled in the harpoon line.”

“What?” Tina asked, confused.

“Have you not actually read Moby Dick?” Crispin asked her.

“It's a book about a captain searching for a whale that kills him.” Tina surmised quickly. “What's to read?”

“It's a book about a man killing himself in his quest for revenge.” Crispin corrected. “He only wants me to make sure that that doesn't happen to you.”

“Babysit me.” Tina simplified, crossing her arms. “I don't need one. I especially don't need you to do it.”

“Why 'especially'?” Crispin asked.

“That's what I was going to tell you before you started talking crazy about white whales and babysitters.” Tina said, frustrated.

“It only sounds crazy when you say it like that.” Crispin signed but she ignored him.

She took and deep breath and said, in a very formal way, “Crispin, I have decided that my time needs to be focused completely on my revenge. I can't have any distractions.”

“And you wonder why he's worried.” he signed dryly but was ignored again.

“And you, as helpful as you are, are a big distraction.” she pointed to the space between them. “So this? Us? It can't happen anymore.”

“Is this because I scared you?” Crispin asked, his face cringing guiltily.

“I wasn't scared,” Tina ground out, “I was...surprised. Twice. You won't get me again.”

“I've heard that before.” he signed. “You're just a glutton for punishment, aren't you?”