《Unspoken Thoughts》second thought
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"I'm leaving."
They all stared at me with equal looks of shock and confusion. Realising they would probably start asking questions I continued speaking.
"I deserve better. I deserve better than being everyone's second choice, because honestly that made me see myself as someone who isn't worth first place, and god I am worth so much more than that. I deserve so much more than people who managed to cause me pain of all kinds . Maybe none of you realised how I felt when you basked in the feeling of being loved, and maybe you're not selfish, you were just so caught up in your own life you didn't realise that we're not side characters. I am not a side character in your story. I have my own story which you lost the privilege of being in, i am not a side character to make the structure in your life fit, I am me, I am great, and I deserve to be loved.
I constantly tried to find the affection I know I deserve here, because I love each and every one of you, but I realised that, as much as I love you, you will always love someone else more than me.
And god I deserve so much better than that.
So I'm leaving, for me. Because each and every one of you had so many chances to prove that you cared, but you constantly kept breaking me without realising. I deserve more than being broken with no intent. You hurting me was so insignificant to you that it didn't even register when it happened.
I broke, I healed, and I realised that I'm not obligated to stay for people who would do just fine without me.
So I hope this hits hard, and I hope that maybe you'll realise that it's not ever going to be your story, and other people's stories deserve to be recognised as well.
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Maybe me telling you this instead of giving a shitty excuse that will warrant me pleasantries every couple of months will help you realise something. So other people wouldn't have to go through what I did alone. It may not have been much, but it was tiny pieces that belonged to each and every one of you getting chipped away.
I deserve better.
So I love you, but until you learn to love me for what I'm worth, this is goodbye, and I can't say I'm not glad to finally know that I'm worth so much more than being a second thought."
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