"it's hard to wake up from a nightmare when you aren't even asleep"

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

"Your feet are freezing, babe. Jesus," Chase complains when I wedge my feet under his legs.

"And you're my boyfriend, it's legally your job to take care of that," I inform him.

"Is that right?" He flashes me his usual smirk and I melt a little.

I've known him my entire life and yet I'm still not used to it.

Despite the fact that my feet are literal ice blocks, he braves the cold, wrapping his hands around them and warming me up instantly.

Perks of a boyfriend.

My phone rings, interrupting the movie we're watching and I groan.

I'm so comfortable right now. Snuggled with Chase, under a warm blanket. But, I force myself to stand up and walk across the room to answer the call.

Aspen is on a date tonight and I told her she could call me if she needed someone to save her.

I flip my phone around and unplug it from the charger, but the number isn't anyone I recognize.

Still, I decide to answer it because I don't want to have gotten up for no reason.

I press accept and talk into the speaker. "Hello?"

"Is this Jemma Campbell?" An unfamiliar voice greets my ear. If I had to guess I'd say they're a middle-aged woman.

"Yes, this is she," I reply, confused as to who's calling me and why they know my name.

I swear if this is a hacker from when Luke downloaded a video game on my phone when he was bored, I'm going to kill him.

"I'm calling on behalf of Delaney Lawrence. It says here you're her emergency contact."

My heart sinks.

"Yes, I am."

It was between me and Chase to be her emergency contact when we moved out to university. We settled on me because I was her roommate and Chase travels a lot for football. I never imagined they'd actually have to use it though.

"Ms. Lawrence was involved in a severe car crash earlier this evening." The lady continues speaking, adding on details, but I barely pay attention.

"Oh my god," I mutter as I hold onto the table in front of me for support.

"What?" Chase calls out but I don't answer him. I can't speak.

"Babe? What is it?" He's beside me now. Rubbing reassuring strokes across my back. "Jemma, talk to me. What's wrong?"

I tune Chase out for a second, just to focus back on the nurse in my ear and gather the main bits of information.

Drunk driver.

High impact.

Fairview Hospital.

Coma.

Emergency Surgery.

Critical condition.

I hang up the phone and turn to face Chase.

"It's Dell. She was in a wreck. We have to get to the hospital. Now."

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

Chase drove us while I spent the car ride calling his parents and Beth.

I figured Beth was the best option for news like this.

I love Harper to death, but she's not exactly the most level-headed person I know. And Aspen is on a date tonight so I couldn't be sure she'd pick up.

Beth, however, I can trust that girl with anything. She's genuinely the most mature person I know and the second I told her what happened, she snapped into action mode. Telling me she'd inform everyone else for me and all I had to do was wait at the hospital for some news.

Now, I'm sitting in a hospital chair, anxiously chewing my bottom lip and squeezing Chase's hand.

Luckily, he's a blood relative to Dell and was able to get some information about what happened.

The doctors informed us about her injuries but I honestly don't know what any of it means, all I know is it's bad.

I was able to digest the first few things told to me.

Distal radius fracture, badly bruised ribs, minor lacerations.

But when the injuries got more severe, I checked out. Both from a lack of medical knowledge and because hearing a stranger list your best friend's severe injuries feels like hell.

Hit her head... Been in a coma since the moment of trauma... A brain bleed... Needed surgery.

Literal hell.

It doesn't take long for Dell and Chase's parents to show up and for our friends to join us.

I mean it's Delaney, the second all of us found out, we were doing everything in our power to be at the hospital as soon as possible.

I'm pretty sure Owen was in the middle of fucking some chick, Aspen was on a date with a girl she ended up really liking, and Mason and Daisy were in the middle of dinner at some expensive restaurant.

Yet, none of that mattered.

Except Delaney.

We would all do anything for that girl.

The only person who isn't here though, is Sterling.

No one has been able to work up the courage to tell him.

No one wants to be the person to deliver the news.

To tell Sterling the love of his life is in critical condition.

She means absolutely everything to that man.

It's been about an hour since Laney left and I've spent every minute hating myself.

Seeing her in pain.

Knowing I caused it.

It's the worst feeling in the world.

I didn't think it would hurt so much. I never saw myself as one of those guys who was in pieces after a breakup. But here I am, in pieces after a breakup.

Every bone in my body is aching to see her.

To touch her.

To kiss her.

To get her back.

But I can't.

I'm doing this for her, I remind myself.

She deserves better than what I can give her.

The second she closed the door behind her, I sat down on my couch and I've been staring at the wall ever since.

Going over the conversation, replaying it in my head.

The only thing that snapped me out of it was the sound of my phone buzzing on the kitchen counter.

I let it go to voicemail the first few times. Honestly, I don't feel like talking to anyone, plus, it's probably just a spam call.

But when it rings for the fourth time in a row, I decide to answer it.

I look down at my vibrating phone, Theo's face displayed across it. I sigh and hit accept. "This better be important, I'm not in the mood. What do you want?"

"It's Delaney."

Two words.

Ten letters.

It's all it takes for my world to stop spinning and my heart to stop.

My vision blurs, and the only noise I can hear is the ringing in my ears.

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

20 minutes later I'm sitting in a hospital chair, in the same hallway I sat in years ago when the same thing happened to mom.

I don't even know how I got here. I honestly think I blacked out when I heard the news. My subconscious took over, listened to the conversation, drove to the hospital, and found my way to everyone else.

What I do know is that I'm about ten seconds from fucking falling apart.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I feel like the same helpless little kid listening to the doctors inform his dad that his mom just died.

"She was in a car accident." Theo's words from earlier replay in my head.

"It's bad, Sterling." My own thoughts suffocate me.

"She's in surgery now." My lungs threaten to give out again.

"They aren't sure what's going to happen." Tears fall down my cheek.

Before I know it, I'm a quiet, sobbing mess. And despite the fact that I'm in a room full of 20 people, it's silent. No one has said much to me since a got here. And even that was a few measly, "I'm glad you're here." "I'm sure she's going to be okay." "We're still waiting for more information."

Everyone's walking on eggshells around me; they're worried about what this is going to do to me, and it would be a lie to say their concern is misplaced.

Some of them saw me go through the same thing with my mom and the others who didn't, have heard about it by now. They know how much the accident fucked me up.

I'm sure everyone can hear me as I break down. Crying like a goddamned baby.

I stand up from my chair and leave the room.

I feel like I'm dying.

I can't see. I can't hear. I can't breathe. All I can do is think up fifty of the worst possible scenarios and torture myself with it.

She won't make it.

She'll die and it'll be your fault.

You did this to her.

Her last few thoughts will have been about me breaking her heart, telling her I couldn't be with her, questioning if I still loved her.

I'm sick to my stomach.

I'm about to find the nearest bathroom to go throw up everything in my system and then dry heave until my jaw is sore, but I feel someone tap me on my shoulder.

"She's going to be okay, Sterling." I recognize Jemma's voice.

I know Jemma is just as devastated as I am, but she hides it better. She's stronger than me.

Her straight blonde hair is in a messy ponytail and she's wrapped in one of Chase's old football hoodies. She gives me a small, hopeful, reassuring smile, but I can tell by her bloodshot blue eyes, it's a facade.

She's just as scared as I am.

Somehow, my heart finds it in itself to break even further, I didn't even think that was possible.

Not only is Laney in critical condition, but her friends and family are going through hell. All because of me.

Tears fill my eyes and, try as I might, I can't hold them back.

She pulls me in for a hug and I let myself cry on her shoulder.

Over the last few months, I've gotten really close with Jemma. I look at her as a little sister of sorts, even though she's my age.

"This is my fault," I accidentally let myself voice my thoughts in a whisper. I hope to god she doesn't hear it, but when she stiffens, I know she has.

She pulls away from me but keeps her hands on my shoulders, "Why would you say that? Of course this isn't your fault."

"No, you don't understand."

Her brows furrow in confusion.

"Earlier tonight, Laney came over."

"I know, she told me that. She was so excited to see you," Jemma says.

"Well she was excited because she didn't know I was about to breakup with her."

Jemma's eyes widen in shock. "Oh my god, what do you mean? What happened?"

"I freaked out. After the rookie camp, I got scared. Scared the NHL would take up too much of my time, that it wouldn't let me be there for her in the future. So I broke things off. I told her she deserved better than what I could give her and we were over."

I let Jemma absorb my words. Process the information I just told her.

"That's dumb, Sterling. But I can yell at you for that later, another time. I'm still confused on how that connects to Dell's state right now."

"She left my house. She was on the road because I told her to come over. She was driving because of my decision to breakup with her."

The blonde's eyes soften in sympathy. "Oh, Sterling. None of this is your fault, okay? The only person who's to blame is the dumb drunk driver. Please don't torture yourself with misplaced guilt."

I nod my head.

"Now, C'mon. Let's head back. We can get something from the vending machine and wait with the others. I'm sure the doctors are going to come back with information soon."

I know Jemma is right.

I know this isn't technically my fault.

But god does it feel like it.

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

I really enjoyed exploring Jemma's POV this chapter, despite the rather unfortunate circumstances. As this book starts to come to a close, I'm letting myself transition into Jemma and Chase's book.

As of now, I'm still planning on writing it but It's definitely not a done deal. After 'Just a cliché', I'm going to assess how I feel and move on from there. I don't want to force myself to write anything. These books are passion projects and the second I feel like I'm burdening myself with it or it's affecting my mental health, I'm putting a halt on it all.

With that being said, my brain is constantly going and thinking of ideas and plot lines for their relationship and I'm very excited to see what the future holds.

Question of the chapter: Would you guys read Jemma and Chase's book if I wrote it?

Please vote and comment!

Stay safe and healthy <3