"fight for it."

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

There is something so enticing, captivating, and all-encompassing about love. It's natural, instinctive, and unavoidable.

Or so I've seen, in books and movies.

I grew up like most girls, desperate for the kind of love perfectly curated on screens. Written out meticulously, yet played off so naturally. Which is why part of me is so scared of it in real life, the idea that it may not live up to the expectations set by authors and producers.

However, despite this, I use books and movies as a way to fill that hole. Whether it helps or fuels the fire of my desperation, I don't actually know.

What I do know, is that this is probably incredibly over-dramatic. I mean I'm only a couple years into university with my whole life ahead of me, but I still can't avoid the feeling that I'm behind.

Behind all my friends and family that have found someone, someone they love.

Whether that be because I'm unlucky, too eager, or unlovable, is also something I'm not sure of.

I try and tell myself it's because I'm impatient, after all, I'm young with so much time still ahead of me.

I try and convince myself it's just because I haven't had the luck of crossing paths with the person I'm meant to spend my life with.

But the argument that has managed to convince me the most, the idea that bleeds into me with every second, and consumes my mind by the hour, is that I'm merely unlovable.

However dramatic that conclusion may seem, it looks pretty damn realistic to me. I consider myself a pretty insecure person, which is why the fact that I'm in my second year of university and have never had my first kiss, date, or boyfriend is such a hard fact for me to get over and ignore.

And so I bury myself into the pages of books, living vicariously through each character, getting a chance to become familiar with the emotions and feelings I can only dream of.

However, in the last few weeks, I've found myself relying on books to be less frequent. The need to search for feelings of love, admiration, and desire, outside of my own life, has become faint.

The change that brought about this, I'm not entirely sure, nor am I ready to admit it to myself.

The front door opening has me ripped from my deep thoughts and I look up at the boys, getting home from their game.

Their calm demeanour is unusual and my eyes scan them frantically, looking for any sign of what happened tonight.

Luke walks in the door first, his eyes meet mine and he shoots me a half-hearted smile. Next Theo comes in, his hockey bag slung over his shoulder and his hair covered by a hat. I furrow my brows at him, silently asking him about their current state. Instead of an answer, he just walks past me and shoots me a sympathetic smile, one similar to Luke's. Owen and Mason follow as they skulk through the door and actively avoid my gaze.

It's only until I see Sterling do I start to understand their behaviour.

As much as he tries to hide it by keeping his eyes glued to the floor and his head turned slightly away from me, I don't miss the giant bruise on his cheek and his bleeding lip. My view drops straight to his hand and just as I expected, it's riddled with little cuts and bruises.

My eyes widen as I take in his appearance and I look to Mason, trying to gauge what I should do and the severity of his situation. Identifying with my concern for Sterling, Mason just nods his head in his direction—who's walking away from me and up the stairs—signalling to go after him.

I get up from the couch and quickly follow Sterling to his room.

I take the fact that he doesn't shut the door behind him as a good thing and an invitation to enter.

I quietly slip through the entrance and find Sterling taking his jacket off, his shoulders slightly hunched and his back facing me.

He lets out a deep sigh and I contemplate what I should do.

"Who did this to you? Are you okay?" Laney looks at me with concern evidently displayed across her features.

I put my hands on either side of her waist, steadying her as she freaks out over nothing.

"Laney, I'm okay," I assure her.

"Are you sure? It looks pretty bad, it's already bruising too, and bleeding. Your lip, it's bleeding. Sterling, tell me the truth."

"I promise I'm okay." My lips tug upwards into a smile in attempts to ease her but I wince when the motion stings in pain.

"Well, that's good, but I don't believe you, Mr. I-just-winced-in-pain." She nods her head as she scans over my injuries again, "I'm going to clean it. Can't have that getting infected, you know?"

Knowing she needs to do this, mostly for her own peace of mind, I let her. "Bandaids are in the bottom drawer," I call out as she heads to the bathroom.

I follow her quickly after, deciding this should probably be done by a sink and not in the middle of my bedroom.

"Alright, sit down," she points to the toilet and I sit down on the covered seat.

Wetting a cloth with some water, she walks over to me and I separate my legs to give her some room. Reaching out and grabbing her hips, I pull her in between my legs so she can get closer to me.

"What happened?" Her tone is harsh and demanding, yet somehow, still soft.

"I got into a fight"

"I'm not an idiot, Sterling. Don't avoid my question with an obvious and half-added answer, what the hell happened tonight?"

"I punched a player on the other team and apparently he punches back."

Laney scoffs at my response, "And this happened on or off the ice?"

"Off." The urge to avoid her scrutinizing gaze becomes harder to avoid.

"Why?"

"You don't want to know," is all I offer her as I think back to the events that led up to my current predicament.

"Good game, Blake," the captain from the team we just beat offers my a handshake as I leave the locker room with my team.

Oh god, Sebastian Rivera. I've heard stories about this kid, stories that have me more than pissed off. Frankly, he's a complete jackass who I want absolutely nothing to do with.

I purse my lips together in a sort of smile, "Yeah."

But of course, as I turn to leave with the boys, he opens his mouth again, "In a rush, I see."

"Not really, no. Just wanting to get home." I don't even know why I'm offering him an explanation, not like he needs it or even cares for one.

"Why don't you stay, come out with me and some of the boys tonight, tell me about that girl I've been hearing about."

"The girl?" What the fuck is he talking about?

"Yeah, that sexy ass you took home drunk the other night. You're a pretty famous guy Blake and people talk. So, you fuck her, or what?" his slimy ass offers an explanation.

Just as I'm about to knock the few braincells shaking around in his minuscule brain, Mason extends his arm up, putting it on my chest to hold me back. I look over at him and he shakes his head mouthing 'he's not worth it'.

I take a breath, agreeing with Mason, "You're way out of line, Rivera, I think you need to fuck off and leave."

"Woah man, no need to get all moody. I see you've been spending too much time with her, why don't you just pass her along to me then" he laughs at his own words, looking around at his friends for any sort of encouragement.

My lack of a response clearly pisses him off, "Well if you won't give her to me, maybe ill have to take her for myself, if you know what I mean."

His insinuations make my blood boil and the second I feel Mason take his hand off my chest — a clear sign he wants this dick to be knocked to his senses as much as I do— , giving me the freedom to take a swing at Sebastian, I do. Because while he's not worth it, Laney is.

"In case you missed it, I asked, a pretty good sign I do want to know." Laney's words bring me back from replaying earlier tonight.

"Fine," I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "He had heard somethings from people in the league about, you."

"Me?" Laney's eyes go wide.

I nod my head, "He said some pretty disgusting things about you, I'll spare you the specifics, and so I punched him."

She just keeps wiping the dried blood off the corner of my mouth, not saying anything. "Alright, fair enough, I guess." She puts the cloth down as she meets my eyes, "You can't keep getting into fights though, especially not for me. I don't like violence, it freaks me out. I don't want to surround myself with people who go around getting into fights and throw punches as their first instincts."

"Ok." Shrugging my shoulders, I agree to her demands.

Obviously, it's no question at all, I mean I'd give up food if it made her uncomfortable. I'm sure this will prove more difficult when I'm actually in a provoking situation, but she's more important than any sort of retaliation or defence.

"Ok? That easy, huh?" A teasing and unbelieving smirk decorates her lips as one eyebrow raises in suspicion.

"That easy."

This is the first time I've written a chapter in a few weeks because I finally got a break from all the school work.

I started Bridgerton this weekend (yes I know I'm late to the party) and its so good, I highly recommend if you haven't watched it already. Although maybe too good because its giving me little motivation to do anything but watch it, including writing.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, if you did please like and comment!

Question of the chapter: Have you guys watched Bridgerton, and if so, which is your favourite season?

Stay safe and healthy everyone