"We held our cards, built them high

But way too close to the light,

So, turn your head and let us go,

I'll learn to breathe on my own.

And our paper houses reach the stars,

'Til we break and scatter worlds apart.

Yeah, I paid the price and own the scars,

Why do we climb and fall so far?"

— "Paper Houses" // Niall Horan

ɤɤɤɤɤɤɤɤ

Mishti couldn't gather herself to face Abir. It was too difficult to even step outside and face the world. It's never just her or Abir, it never was. For a moment she forgot how this was going to be the hot topic all across the news. It was dreadful to step outside alone only to be surrounded by the cameras and reporters screaming on the top of their lungs. Eventually the situation started to disgust Mishti. She never expected her mother's death to become a juicy drama for the media nor did she want her emotions and sentiments being played out loud with the added spice. There was a moment when she thought of publishing a public statement and shut it all down.

Until Abir Rajvansh did that for her.

"So Miss Mishti Agarwal has an appointment with Abir Rajvansh today? Finally after a week?" Nishant snapped Mishti back to the moment.

"An appointment. Yeah."

"You don't sound happy though."

"Is there anything to be happy about?"

"At least you guys will be talking. For me that's more than enough to celebrate."

"I don't even know what he'll be talking about, Nishant. I know nothing. I don't even know when I booked an appointment to talk to him."

"Your father did that. But you've the option to not go, you know."

"What? Why?"

"He wants your good Mish, you can't even ignore him anymore. After all the chaos. Especially now when trials are going on and you need him to testify in the court. By the way, are you going to Abir or not?"

"Gotta think about it."

"Great." Nishant pulls Mishti along with him and doesn't leave her hand until they're sitting in his car.

"You need to do this Mish, you can't escape it."

~~~

Mishti is shocked to find Vishambhar Maheshwari sitting in Abir's cabin. More shocked she is to see him smiling.

A genuine heartwarming smile.

A smile she seems to have lost somewhere fighting God-knows-what.

"Good to see you, Miss Agarwal."

So this is how it is going to be. They're on professional terms now. What else did she expect?

"Good to see you too, Mr. Rajvansh."

"Please have a seat if you're done shooting daggers with your eyes."

Mishti didn't realise she'd been staring at Vishambhar too long. It was embarrassing, okay. She takes her seat uncomfortably as Abir begins the talk on (again) God-knows-what.

"First things first. The case has been transferred to the state legal agency of the state of Canada because the case of Rajshree Agarwal's death was investigated there. To reopen the case, you both need to be present there physically and rest Miss Agarwal knows the law. There will be a team to aid you throughout the whole process and I believe Canadian laws are more strict and prompt than Indian judiciary anyways, so justice will be surely ensured. Especially now that we've proper proofs and the self testimony of the culprit so there won't be much of a hassle. But again, Miss Agarwal, you know the Canadian law better than me. I've booked your tickets already and I think the sooner we're done with the trials the better."

"Mishti is a lawyer, she can fight the case, can't she?" Vishambhar asks.

"She's not an advocate." Abir replies.

"Oh for God's sake." Annoyance is clear in Mishti's tone. Of course, her father didn't have to know how she earns her livelihood.

"Abir, you didn't have to bother with this."

"This is the least I can do, Mr. Maheshwari. As I won't be there personally but at least I'll feel that I've done my part of the job well. After all, this whole scenario includes my father too."

"I'm sorry for everything, Abir Beta. I--"

"Don't be. And right now I think you need to have a little chat with your daughter too. I will leave you both alone."

"Please stay, Abir." Mishti doesn't even know why she says that but these are the first words that come across her mind. Well, let's be honest here. She very well knows why she said that.

"I can't do this alone, I will need you in this." Mishti speaks as she sees the soft expression in Abir's face.

"But I --"

"Please, Abir."

"Uh, okay."

~~~

"Maybe it's not entirely anyone's fault but you both need to sort out yourselves. The thing is Mishti, your father loves you, he really does. Maybe his ways were wrong, I've always told you that, people do change. Look at yourself. It's alright, take your time. I know you ought to begin from the beginning again but at least you can try, try to trust people again. Try to trust yourself again."

Mishti doesn't say anything. She really doesn't know what to say and doesn't even want to think about it. It's too overwhelm--

"I know this can be overwhelming for you Mishti." Oh God, did he just read her thoughts again? "But Mishti, I just want you to not block every door. The walls you've built around yourself are too high and probably they save you from being hurt. But yeah, you can't always escape you know, at least try, talk and feel. I'm always there for you. And he is too." Abir says pointing at Vishambhar. "He's your father, he made a mistake and he lost everything. He's guilty and he deserves a chance, doesn't he?"

Mishti thinks about it. Giving him a chance means trusting him again. What's the guarantee that history won't repeat?

"It'll never be the same. No matter what people say, you can never forget the pain. The scars remain there."

"But the scars can be healed. That's why we tend to them more, we've to be careful but we can't let those scars overpower us, can we?"

"It's not easy to rebuild the broken trust."

"Mishti, when you give someone a chance you've got nothing to lose but for the other person he might have his entire world at stake. If they're really guilty, they'll make sure to take proper care of that one last chance. If they don't then you've your answer. You don't have any expectations from them, so it's never your loss."

Mishti nods. She has heard whatever Vishambhar had to say; he apologized, regretted his attitude, shed tears over everything, swore to God that he'll be a good father. He really looks sad and deep down Mishti is not happy too. She has admired her father a lot and this defeated look on his face hurts. He said he just wants his daughter back and no business or reputation can ever be equal to the bond of a father with his daughter. Abir is right, she doesn't need Vishambhar but maybe he really needs her. He's alone now, he needs someone to stand by him. In this rivalry he too has lost everything. And no matter what, Mishti is his daughter and maybe his love is not polluted. Moreover, she doesn't have anything to lose here. But wait --

"Abir, if someone does wrong to you again and again, so much so that you know they're hopeless and they've nothing to give you, will you still give them a chance?"

Abir smiles and Mishti's heart flutters.

"No one in this world is hopeless and Mishti, I want you to get this straight in your head that every single thing we do, every single thing that happens, it happens for a reason. We might not realise it right away but that reason is always meant for our betterment. And who said one might have nothing to offer to you? Every single creature on this planet has something to offer, if you really look into it. And we're human beings, we've so many things to give each other and the world is so wide and beautiful." Abir looks at Mishti with eyes full of something that Mishti would like to recognise as hope, "And if you just let people in for once, who knows, maybe you won't regret it that much?"

Mishti doesn't know why but she feels her chest lightening. There's nothing extraordinary in what Abir just said but the way it affects her is nothing ordinary. There's an assurance in these words, like a silent promise that only they understand.

A silent love that's meant for her.

"I'll wait for you to come back from Canada, Mishti. Go, finish the war and rise above this vicious circle of revenge, hatred and past. Just promise me that you'll embrace your present from now onwards."

"I promise Abir." Mishti smiles wholeheartedly.

~~~

Mishti cried. She really did.

It took nearly two months to completely close the case of Yash Singhaniya because basically he sort of went crazy and had to be admitted to some rehab center. Nishant kept telling it was all just an act and eventually Mishti too felt that way only. She was determined suddenly a certain fear started building up inside her. Quite ironically Abir kept repeating Mishti that she had to fight not just for her mother but for herself too.

Once the court procedures began, it was like she didn't even have the time to breathe. It was tough, rough and exhausting - physically and emotionally. At some points she felt it's going nowhere because the lawyer of Yash Singhaniya was an asshole too. But the turning point of the whole case was the moment Nishant's mom Mrs. Jasmeet Singhaniya decided to testify against her husband. 'Shock' was not enough to describe what Mishti felt but yeah, that was the last nail on the coffin of Yash Singhaniya's release. Mrs. jasmeet not only was the witness of Rajshree Agarwal murder case but also provided evidence against many other scandals. Eventually this was no longer only Mishti's revenge because in this whole time she met many people whose lives were ruined by the Singhaniyas in one way or another. Many well known faces of the industry were dragged to the court and it ended up revealing some dirty secrets of these high profile personalities. From black money to illegal drug supply to match fixing - every scandal was exposed. Towards the end it was not only Yash Singhaniya to be punished; the business world was shaken and this case was going to be discussed all over the media for a long time now.

Yash Singhaniya was finally sentenced to death.

Mehul Rajvansh was cleared of all charges posthumously. This was the least Mishti could do for Abir. Vishambhar Maheshwari was convicted but Abir being the too kindhearted person he is, withdrew the case. Although Mishti protested, it was in vain.

She will be returning to India tomorrow and now she's kneeling in front of her mother's grave.

And she cried for hours.

And with her tears she let go of all the burden she's been carrying all along. In these 26 years of her life, her family was the center of the world until one day she learnt their house was anything but a home. With every step her truths were revealed to be lies, her trust was breaking, good memories were started to question itself.

But now she has started to realise she's been wrong too. Everytime she made a decision in a rush it ended up hurting her only. She left Canada and ran to India without any proper plan. Revenge blinded her so badly that she didn't bother to care for others. All this while she has seen Vishambhar, she knows she has hurt him too. No matter how wrong he was, she was not good either. And tomorrow she's flying back to India, where Abir is supposedly waiting for her.

He has always been waiting.

Does she even deserve that? Is she really worth the wait?

"It'll be alright, Mishti." Kunal says with a warm smile. Mishti looks up, Kunal is now kneeling with her and his hand slightly patting her back.

Mishti tries to smile back but it doesn't exactly happen. Instead she wears a blank expression, her eyes are probably void of any moisture by now. And it's Kunal, so no need to pretend. Since she landed in Canada, Kunal has been a real help. He has turned out to be the brother Mishti never knew she needed and she has made him stop addressing her as "ma'am". Honestly this is probably the first bond she has made outside her troubled family apart from bonding with Nishant. Well, except for whatever that she has with Abir because even she's not sure about it. Still Nishant says this is a good sign of progress as she is finally letting people in. And she can't disagree, it feels good to have people around her who seem to genuinely care.

"Do I even deserve this, Kunal?"

"You what?"

"All this love and care. Do I even deserve this?"

"You only get what you truly deserve. So if you're getting this love and care, then you surely deserve this."

Mishti smiles, more like a mocking smile.

"I didn't know crying felt this good. It's weird, I thought only weak people cry, everyone says otherwise but I never believed that. But now I feel much lighter."

"Yes, it's okay to cry, you know. At least you accept your emotions. You accept that you too feel the pain or you're sad. It makes you more human, Abir sir says so."

Mishti doesn't say anything but stares at the stone of her mother for some time. She'll be gone tomorrow and here she leaves the chapter of revenge, bitterness and a messy past. She doesn't know what happens next but at least there's something to look forward to. Someone to look forward to.

Irony is she's still too unsure about it.

~~~

When Mishti steps into her apartment she thinks she entered the wrong place.

But no, this is her flat only!

So basically Mishti is astonished to see the change. The walls are painted in different colours, a beautiful shade of blue and green, it looks so beautiful. The furniture looks better and the whole interior of the apartment has been changed. It's radiating a much warm and at the same time calming vibe.

She finds a note on the fridge - "Welcome Home, Mishti.." - it says.

Of course, Abir! Who else can it be?

Mishti shakes her head and smiles. She never expected this and well, that's the speciality of Abir Rajvansh - he has been surprising her since day one. She never imagined her otherwise dull and boring flat could look this impressive. Now she owes Abir a big thank you.

She finds another note in her bedroom.

"You deserve this Mishti, no need to thank me or anyone. You deserve to be as happy as the earth deserves the sun. Just never underestimate yourself. And you're always welcome to your office. Here's to the hope for a better future."

This time Mishti sighs, she doesn't deserve this much love from Abir.

Not a single bit.

~~~

"Good to see you back, Miss Agarwal. Didn't expect to meet you in my cabin this soon."

Abir smirks at a slightly-nervous-looking Mishti.

"What did you expect then?"

"Should I be honest? Well I expected you to ignore me, avoid crossing paths with me and act as if there's nothing that happened. I was really surprised when I received your mail the other day, I never thought you'd be back."

"Please Abir, I know I was wrong. I just want to make it up to you."

"To me? And how would you do that, Miss Agarwal."

"I-- I don't know. It's just I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have left like that. And-- and I've hurt you although you were always just too kind to me. You've helped me way too much, you were hurt. You got shot for God's sake! How can I ever thank you for this, for everything you've done. I kept pushing you away when all you did was to help me. You didn't need to go through all these but-- Abir, please forgive me, I won't be able to return your favor in a million years. Honestly --"

"Mishti, how long have you been preparing this thank you speech?"

"Huh, what? No. No Abir, I was just --"

"Trying to recall all my favors?" Abir says in a sarcastic tone.

"Just tell me what I can do for you. I will do any--"

"Just be yourself Mishti, be your usual self and know that I'm not favoring you, I'd have done that for anyone."

"Anyone?" Mishti remarks.

"Yeah. Anyone." Abir raises his eyebrow, "Why?"

"Uh, nothing as such. It's just I-- You are too kind Abir. Thank you again."

"You don't need to thank me, I'm telling you again. You've gone through a lot and this is not me sympathizing with you, in fact I'm really proud of you. Really." Abir explains, "And Mishti, please understand that whatever you did or said in the past, I really hold no grudges. I know you're doing better now but you've survived and struggled through a lot. You're a trauma-survivor. There's nothing irrational about the way you acted or behaved with me or anyone. It's okay, you are never supposed to please everyone you know. Just don't lose yourself in the process. I'm not trying to be your therapist here but Mishti, your trauma does affect you but there's nothing you should feel sorry about. It's none of your fault. But if you show a little more courage and don't give up without even trying, you'll overcome even this soon. Just don't leave in the midway, alright? There might be someone waiting for you at the end of the tunnel, you know."

"Abir?" Mishti calls after five whole minutes of silence. Abir can tell she's been thinking hard.

"Yes Miss Agarwal?"

"First, my name is Mishti. And secondly, are we still friends?"

Abir feels like an idiot at that moment. What else did his stupid mind expect?

"Friends?" We were always more than that, weren't we? "Yes, of course we are. Unless you again disappear suddenly, we're friends." Mishti feels Abir putting a little pressure on the word friends but whatever.

She extends her hand for a shake, Abir looks a little hesitant at first but he follows her anyway.

"Yeah, so friends." Abir gives a tight-lipped smile.

"Thank you, Abir."

"Not again, Mishti."

And they both smile.

~~~

No no no, I'm not that bad, please don't leave. Please please.

Where are you Abir, please don't go. I'm alone here. Please please please.

Mom? Mom, please mom, talk to me. I swear I'll listen to you, I swear. Every single thing you say, I'm gonna follow it. I killed you mom, it was all because of me. I should not have even existed. I don't deserve to live. Please mom, please come back. Come back and don't leave. I swear I'll become the one you want me to. Please please please.

I'll be a good girl, love me please. I know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anyone. I hurt everyone. I'm a bad girl. But please don't leave me. Please.

I'm scared. So scared. It's all dark, I deserve this. I'm not good enough to be loved. I don't deserve you Abir. Look at me, I'm a mess. I'm a heartless dumbfuck, hate me please. You can't love me.

I've nothing to give you. Leave me alone.

Stop it!

Finally Mishti wakes up. Everything is fine, everything is alright. She's good.

It's just a nightmare. Breathe in, breathe out.

It's alright.

It's not fucking alright! She is fucked up. She's scared.

She's not good enough.

Don't give up without even trying.

Don't give up.

Don't give up.

She can't give up.

Mishti doesn't know why she does that but her fingers automatically dial the number. It's 3 a.m. and there's no reason she should call him and Abir has enough reasons not to pick up the call.