"I can feel your heart inside of mine

I feel it, I feel it

I've been goin' out of my mind

I feel it, I feel it

Know that I'm just wastin' time,

And I hope that you don't run from me."

— "If I Could Fly" // One Direction

ɤɤɤɤɤɤɤɤ

Abir has been changing sides on the bed for hours now. From the moment Kunal narrated what happened in the meeting, well, sleep is the last thing on his agenda now. In fact, the only thought running inside his head is, without any doubt, Mishti.

And now Abir has learned to adjust with this. That girl has been capturing his thoughts from the day they first met and he can't get rid of it no matter where he goes; be it Rajkot or Delhi - it's always Mishti - Abir's newfound "infatuation", surely a bit more than this! Now it's like there's not a way out from here.

But right now he is unable to simply dial her number to talk to her.

Just keep imagining and try running away from her. What are you even doing Abir?

Abir's conscience is screaming. He knows this is not the way yet yet something deep inside him doesn't give up. So much confusion! So many fears! He knowingly left her alone there to face Nishant, although she's brave enough to handle things, didn't he promise to make sure she's safe? What got into his head to leave just like that? Because he couldn't bear the news of his ex-girlfriend getting married and leading a happy life?

That was so desperate of you, Abir. Such a hopeless act!

She drives you crazy, doesn't she?

You are too attracted, that's scary!

This is messy but it's like a point of no return now.

Then you've made your choice Abir. Good luck.

Suddenly the beep on his phone brings Abir back from his thoughts; seeing the name flashing on his mobile screen he smiles. She's always there at the moment - Mishti - she knows it all.

"I see you found no good reason to call or even drop me a text, Mr. Rajvansh, so I thought of calling you myself."

Mishti sounds a little angry. Abir closes his eyes imagining how she would look with a frown on her cute face.

"Are you there, Mr. Rajvansh?"

"Oh yeah, yes Mishti. So why did you call me?"

"To brief you about the three meetings you left to me before your sudden vacation, of course."

Abir clears his throat. Does he really expect her to say something else? Like, really?

Shut up you stupid brain, she's still in the call. She might hear your thoughts!!!!

Abir Rajvansh, you are so done!!!!

Oh God, shut up!! Just shut up you dreamy talkative brain!!!

What the hell!

"Hello! Are you alright Abir? Why are you making these.. Uh... weird sounds? Did you hurt yourself?"

Yes I did, right inside my heart. I'm planning to rip my heart apart again, for you, Mishti!

Do you hear me Mishti? I'm making a fool out of myself.

Only for you.

"Abir..? Are you still on the phone?"

Yes.. Thinking of you only!

"SPEAK SOMETHING GODDAMMIT!"

Abir jumps out of his bed. What is he even doing?

"Hello-- Hi Mish- Mishti-- Yes yes, I'm here-- actually a bit busy-- Was sleeping-- Talk to you later-- Bye--"

Abir immediately cuts the call. How long is he going to embarrass himself?

On the other side Mishti was still staring at her mobile screen. What exactly just happened? Why is he so weird? Is he alright or has something happened? What is he actually doing - working or sleeping? Or is he dreaming in his sleep?

Oh God! This man drives her mad!

But to her surprise she is not annoyed. Standing in front of the mirror of her room Mishti looks at herself - a wide grin all over her face, probably reaching her deep insides. Is it her win over Nishant today or is it the man behind her win?

No. Mishti is not dependent on Abir Rajvansh nor does she need him. But he makes so much sense, doesn't he? Or at least his words do...

Make sense.

So much more than they are supposed to.

When she returned to India without any plan somehow he found her, he gave her a reason, a way - something to look for beyond her revenge and hatred. Unknowingly Abir built a wall between Mishti and her self-damaging thoughts. He has given her a reason to not die, a reason to reconsider her heart.

A reason to wake up from sleep daily.

Slowly but really - she is smiling a little more, the bitterness inside her is a little less, she feels a little less burning. Abir is truly a great psychologist, her therapist without even letting her know! She might never show this but her Gods know, had this not been Abir probably she'd be sitting inside her house, locking herself in the bedroom, maybe not crying but definitely burning in the flames of betrayal, hurt and pain she had gone through. Abir entered the picture like the raindrops to divert her mind from the agony and let her feel a little calm - should she call him her saviour? Well, does Abir think of her the same way? In fact, does he even think of her? Or is she the crazy one here?

But if he doesn't care, why would he act weird around her? Why would he show concern?

At the end of day the question of the day remains the same - why did he even offer her the job? Will she ever know his reasons? And if the reason is not a good one will she ever be able to accept that all this is fake?

"Pick up the call Mishti, please don't be angry."

The message from Abir flashes on Mishti's mobile screen. She checks 7 missed calls from him! He calls again and this time Mishti immediately picks up.

"Hello Mishti? I hope you're not angry.. You know I was a bit.. You know.. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Abir. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice you calling. And I'm sorry too."

"Cool."

"So why did you call? Weren't you working and sleeping together?"

Abir hears Mishti's slight giggle, he resolves to not make a fool out of himself again.

"Mishti, you were to brief the meetings. But Kunal has told me a few things already."

"Well then I won't recount, I'll send you the keynotes through mail. Good night."

"Uh, what? Good night.. Yes, I mean, did you call only for this?"

"Excuse me, you're the one who has called me, Mr. Rajvansh."

"Um yes, but that's because you did call me earlier and we didn't talk."

"I already told you about meeting briefs and Kunal has already eased my job. So I think that's it."

"Yes, okay."

"Good night, Abir."

"Wait, Mishti--"

"Do you want to say anything?"

"I am sorry, Mishti. I really am. For that day, I know you were genuinely concerned but I was, you know, a bit messed up. I can't explain this to you, Mishti, but there are some moments when all you want is to be alone, like to let out whatever you're feeling at that moment. A moment of vulnerability, which you don't feel like sharing with anyone. You know --"

"It's okay Abir, if you don't want to talk about it you don't need to. I understand what you must have felt. That's exactly what I did today. Sometimes you need the space and maybe I tried to get a little more involved in something I know nothing about."

"No Mishti, please don't say that. You were just kind enough to try to help me. I was too rude but trust me I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry if I did. And I'm sorry because you had to see me like that. I know the way I reacted was terrible. I am really sorry, Mishti."

Mishti doesn't say anything for a while. Closing her eyes she recalls that day in Abir's cabin, definitely it was terrible - the devastated look of Abir, his swelling eyes and the pain all over his face, it was too much. She was hurt and ironically it had nothing to do with what Abir said, she felt betrayed looking at his damage.

She felt his pain. And she knows, she cares for him too - from the very first day.

"Mishti, are you there?"

"Yes! Abir, I just want to tell you that you should not be sorry about anything, I can understand what you must have been going through. It's okay."

"But I'm sorry, Mishti."

Mishti thought she'd keep a straight face in front of him now and wouldn't get much involved but oh how wrong she was! Without even trying, her heart accepts Abir and his apology, it doesn't feel wrong. She knows a bit of selfishness was involved on her part when she asked Abir to open up, she wanted to know him and his weaknesses. But she's not sorry about it nor does she think Abir needs to know about anything.

In fact he doesn't need to feel bad for something that's not even wrong. She was intruding and he had every right to protect himself. He shouldn't be sorry for that.

But he did, Abir is apologizing for something that's nowhere near his fault.

So Mishti knows, he cares.

Just in a day she saw two different sides of man. There is Nishant who would not even think twice before hurting her anyday and then there's Abir - a stranger she has started feeling safe with, and now it's a truth she cannot ignore. Abir is not fake, he cannot be.

"When are you coming back Abir?"

"No idea."

"What!" Mishti was surprised. She doesn't even know why he is in Delhi all of a sudden.

"Won't you ask me why am I here?"

Mishti doesn't say anything but Abir knows she's concerned. For the first time after so long, Abir feels like showing his deep scars to someone - without feeling ashamed. He might be wrong about where this is going, but it feels right now. And that's enough. Maybe he will feel a bit lighter or maybe he wants to open a door of his heart for Mishti. His heart has already raced and now is at a point where he cannot return from.

And stepping forward feels right.

"Kuhu is getting married, she is in Delhi and I thought probably I can meet her. I thought we could just talk and it'll be good, you know. I'm not a crybaby over my ex-girlfriend but sometimes things become too much to handle. It's not about just one chapter but a whole section of life together attacks and it's heartbreaking for no reason."

"So did you meet her?"

"You know no matter what sometimes you let your heart lead and even the trouble feels safe. It was stupid of me to run to Delhi but it was productive I think. It took me to come running to Delhi after my past to feel where my present lies. Not like I'm not over her, I am, but a part of me still loves to hold on, you know? Probably that won't happen anymore. I'm not a coward not to accept what my present has to offer me just because I'm unsure. In short, I realized a couple of things."

"And what is it, Abir?"

"Can't exactly explain but now I think I know where my home is." Abir paused for a moment giving Mishti the time to comprehend what he just said.

"Mishti, good night. I'll fly back home soon."

He cuts the call and smiles. It definitely feels good. He has finally stepped towards a new road and now there's no coming back. He will sleep peacefully tonight.

But did Mishti get the hint? Does she think of him? Is there any chance that she'll at least try to look at him as who he is? Only if he could see her once; her eyes would have told him the truth! Or is he playing around a fire that'd burn him?

And then there is Mishti, it takes her a little time to understand the whole conversation. She knows Abir isn't lying. From the day she faced her reality, she longed for a home - a place to feel comfortable in, to feel space, to feel genuinely loved. She's 25 and has enough experience to understand what love is and what truth feels like. She's rational but that never means she doesn't have a heart. Mishti knows sparks fly from the very first second two hearts meet, she always knows it is there.

I'm not a coward not to accept what my present has to offer me just because I'm unsure.

That exactly is the truth. She's wise enough to know that it's more complicated to act as if you don't understand anything. Probably it's better to live this moment, this age old feeling and newly built experiences, forgetting every single reason why this is wrong, it seems okay to smile for no reason.

Wait! She does have a reason - the one who indirectly saves her from getting ruined.

Her reason to smile.

It's crazy to give someone so much control over her, that too without even saying anything.

It's scary. It's unhealthy.

Yet it doesn't feel wrong.

Suddenly Mishti's phone beeps. It's a message from Kunal.

"Abir Sir just informed me that he's returning tomorrow so you don't have to worry about the meetings."

So Abir Rajvansh has surprised her again! The no-idea-when-I-am-coming guy is booking flight tickets and is returning. Maybe not even God can guess what's going on inside his brain. But it feels good, you know, to know that she'll see Abir tomorrow. Smiling like a fool Mishti lies on her bed.

"Come home soon, Abir."

If anything goes wrong, it can be dealt with later. For now she chooses to be happy.

After a long time, she wants to simply live in the moment.

No worries, no calculations, no plans.

Just the night, the moon, a bit of Abir and her.

It's a point of no return for Mishti Agarwal too.