《Objection! Dear Love...》#9 Love that Upholds
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Wounds heal with time but scars remain;
When love comes along, bridges the gap.
Losing control, fly to the stars,
Nothing to hold back, when it falls apart.
Connection of pain is the deepest of all, they say,
And you love who you love, there ain't no other way.
Ah! What a shame, there's no lie.
Running after shadows, now scared of the light.
— K :)
ɤɤɤɤɤɤɤɤ
How do you describe the feeling when you slowly start letting your guard down in front of someone you feel like believing with your whole heart? Maybe you're yet to know what that person feels but the hope that they will try to know you - just a ray of hope makes you keep going. Every time you go out you look forward to coming back home, as if you will give up on everything only if they ask you to. And what do you even expect in return? Just a bit of care. You just want them to look at you and assure you that they are listening. Maybe you're defenseless in front of them, but it feels secure, it feels worth the risk - just for their eyes, you want to show your heart.
You know you've got scars, they keep paining although no one can see. But for that one special person you try to rise above that pain, you want to assure them again and again that you're here, waiting for them, no matter how much time it takes, no matter where it ends, you're here - waiting. You want to tell them that you can wait forever, even when it seems just a waste of time you dare to wear your heart on your sleeves; only they've the power to tear it apart but without them aren't you already missing half of you?
Maybe all these make no sense to them, but you hope they'll listen someday. You're ready to cross every boundary for them, maybe you're simply going out of your mind. But this madness feels right. You just want to remind them that you're here when they feel lost. The darkness inside you might scare you but you want to become the light only for them. Even your pain feels nothing when you look at them smiling - maybe for their eyes only, you're ready to show it all. Even if it ends up in your damage, you walk towards it.
You only want them to stay by your side - always and forever - because you're half a heart without them.
If they choose to never consider you, then also it's okay. You've already given in, there's no going back. You're just wasting time but it is what it is. You are in love and love never demands.
Abir will never demand.
Right after returning from Delhi Mishti surprised him. Along with Kunal, she was there in the airport - waiting for him. It's been nearly two month but the image of a smiling Mishti waiting for him at the airport holding a bouquet of his favorite sunflowers will never get blurry, nor does how his heart was pounding inside his chest! The bright sunflowers on a cloudy day probably meant a new shade of brightness in his life and it was beautiful. Mishti looks cheerful now, not only she seems to have come out of her shell, she is now in fact the favourite of almost everyone in his office. She has made friends with even his clients - from the old ones to the young teenagers. Even Kunal has got along with her very well, Mishti even took part in a few business events, accompanied Abir in site visits and most importantly her past troubled her a little less. Obviously some scars can never be healed fully but you can definitely work towards treating them so that you feel a little relieved. Mishti willingly does that.
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What else can Abir ask for?
Not to brag about it but Abir's office has always been a cheerful one. No one can ever complain of a dull and gloomy environment here. His life never lacked colours. But eventually he has realized Mishti's arrival has brightened up the room a bit more, his colours are brighter now. It is peaceful to finally find a reason for this heart to beat. Looking back he can't believe there was a time when he felt anger at the mention of Maheshwaris. But then, it was always the battle between Rajvanshs and Maheshwaris; far away from Abir and Mishti. The girl his heart has chosen is Mishti - a brave, kind and lovely soul, no revenge can ruin her, no bitterness can pollute her; she is beyond this dirty world.
She is Mishti and he is Abir.
And it's not about a Godforsaken revenge or age-old fight.
It's about the heart.
Abir's love is beyond everything.
So what if Mishti is ignorant to what his heart wants? So what if she's happy just being friends with him? So what if he could never tell her how she lights up his world? So what if Mishti has chosen to be blind towards his feelings? Will he ever stop loving her? What is, in fact, the destiny of love?
Abir is pretty sure, Mishti wants to take it slow. She might have never openly said anything but he knows. And when your heart has already chosen someone, you follow your heart even though it might break sometimes. You love who you love, there's no other way. Of course his story is not an usual one, he feels scared at times, there are moments when he can clearly see he's walking in a road that leads nowhere. But then he sees Mishti happy and everything feels great. He doesn't need anything only if this girl stays happy from within. He knows their story is kind of weird, they are supposed to be rivals but look at the charm of destiny - neither he nor Mishti took things that way even for once. He was mistaken when he first thought of even using Mishti. He hated himself for feeling so. He was wrong to believe he'll never love anyone after Kuhu. He was wrong when he considered Mishti just another girl. He was a fool to not accept what his heart knew the very first moment he saw Mishti.
From a million mistakes if Abir has learned something it is the fact that he is in love with Mishti.
And to love is to let go, if that's the demand of the situation.
Maybe Mishti is never going to know this but Abir's job was to bring her back to Vishambhar Maheshwari. His world revolves around her today but she came to her life as a case only. She is a promise he made to Vishambhar Maheshwari. She's not meant to stay with him and one day she'll walk out of his life, or he'll let her go. Deep down Abir knows Mishti won't take much time to forgive Mr. Maheshwari when she'll see his genuine regret. She'll go back to her home, will she think of him? Does she ever need him?
As the time is passing and he's falling a little more in love with Mishti then before a part of him is afraid of the inevitable. He is willingly pushing himself towards his damage. Abir is not oblivious to how devastating this will be but he has no choice now. He has seen Mishti when she got uncomfortable and tried to avoid the discussion about her past and her father. And he is with Mishti when she can freely talk about how hurt she was and what she felt about her father. Abir has witnessed her change in perspective. Irony is that the good happening to Mishti's mind might be damaging to Abir's heart. She'll leave and he'll stay, watching his ruin.
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He can't tell Mishti any of these. He promised Vishambhar. Mishti will never know.
"Abir, if you're free can you please check this file?"
"Oh, hi Mishti. Please come in."
Abir smiles as Mishti enters. She looks happy.
"I've the best news for the day, Abir. The Government has approved our project for the people in slum areas. We're officially in a partnership with the Government for a duration of three years. I know this is your biggest project Abir and congratulations, you made it."
"We made it, Mishti. Together."
"Yes, we did. We finally did it. I'm so happy that I've announced a celebration tonight. Even Kunal said the same. Tell me if you're in. You know, Mr. Bajpayee, your last client he was here today and he said --"
Mishti keeps on saying things Abir doesn't really hear. Yes, this is the biggest project of Rajvansh Wellness but Abir can't really feel happiness. It's nearing the time frame of six months that he promised to Vishambhar, Mishti is working with him for a period of six months as per the job agreement, just a few more days left to the end of everything.
"Mishti, I think we should invite Mr. Maheshwari too."
"Okay done. Wait, WHAT?"
"You said okay, Mishti."
"Did you actually said Mr. Maheshwari? You mean my step father?"
"Yes, Mishti but I want to invite him as the previous owner of Maheshwari & Co., I think I should at least meet him. Do you object?"
"You seem to have made up your mind, who am I to object?"
Abir can see Mishti's face falling down, her excitement dead. He hates being the reason her smile is lost, but he had to do this someday.
They can't really picture a future if their past is still lingering in their present.
And the said past is inescapable.
Most importantly, falling in love was Abir's choice. The nightmarish consequences are to be faced by him only.
Maybe alone.
"Then it's a yes from you. I'll ask Kunal to invite him."
"Abir, does he know that I work here?"
"Did you tell him?"
"You know that Abir, I haven't talked to him for ages. And please bother to answer me honestly, why do you want him here?"
"You know Mishti, probably I won't answer that clearly. But if I have to say, maybe because I want to put up a show?"
"I trust you Abir, I know you're not the one to use feelings and emotions as a weapon. You're not the one to play with people's pain. I can trust you with my life, Abir."
"Then trust me Mishti, I want no harm to anybody, especially you."
"I know."
"It's just, Mishti, you know this well, one day you'll have to face him. The sooner the better."
"You had this in your mind from the first day, that's why you acquired that company, didn't you?"
Mishti lips curve upwards, it's not a smile but she isn't sad either. Abir looks at her but doesn't say anything.
"I know you're a well wisher, Abir."
"And I won't let anything wrong happen to you, Mishti."
"Do you want to say something Abir?"
And for the first time Abir sees the request in Mishti's eyes. This is after so long that Mishti has hinted at something he has concealed deep inside his heart. Sometimes Abir can't stop himself from overthinking and that hurts. The circle of "only if" and "but in reality" is wide, his mind running here and there endlessly.
Shut up, Abir, you can't keep floating in the air.
"Mishti I think we're nearing time, so I want to ask you if you --"
"Say it, Abir."
Abir looks at her bewildered. What does she expect him to say?
Does she feel the same?
Does she want it too?
Is this the right moment?
Is this right?
There's a tsunami of emotions inside him and he doesn't know what to do. It hurts.
This ache in his heart.
This pain.
These unreasonable logics.
What if he confesses and she rejects him?
What if he has mistaken her kindness?
What if she goes away?
Blurred past condensed into a teardrop,
Unending desires drawing an arc of smile,
And a fleeting life - negotiating between the two.
Him falling in love with her was not the plan.
It wasn't supposed to have happened.
"If you want to continue the job or not, I mean we've like one more month and paperwork and other --"
Abir turns his back. He can't complete it.
"Seems you're too eager to let me go."
Abir can feel Mishti walking towards him.
"I guess I'll be given the choice to stay if I want, Mr. Rajvansh? I'm yet to find out the reason why you offered me this job in the first place."
Abir tries hard to concentrate on the ground, he can't let anything slip out of his tongue.
"I'll personally invite Mr. Maheshwari, Abir, I think we're yet to know some things about each other. And don't forget to dress your best to the party tonight."
Mishti puts her hand on his back in a manner of assurance.
"I will wait for you, Abir."
And when she leaves the room, something inside Abir screams that this is the end.
The end of something that never really began.
Yet he doesn't want to.
He doesn't want his story to end like this. Abir and Mishti have only just started to know each other, Abir has just accepted to follow his heart, it was only yesterday when Mishti started talking to him freely, only a few moments back everything was right - he could have said it, he could have asked her to stay, he didn't. He will have to let her go.
At least till the moment his deal with Vishambhar is over.
And Abir's love is not weak to not let her go if she wants to. If they're meant to be, they'll find their way back. But the circle of past, revenge and deals have to end.
The pillar of a home lies in mutual trust; and hiding the truth is no less than lying. Even if takes everything from him, one day he has to do it.
Mishti deserves a life of truth, a love that is true, a home that is not built upon the bricks of selfishness.
Will Mishti understand him if she comes to know the truth? Will she believe he never faked himself in front of her? Will she still choose to stay? But Abir never took advantage of his deal, he didn't demand anything from Vishambhar nor did he misuse Mishti. So he has a chance, doesn't he? Mishti might get angry because he lied, he hid something from her, but will she listen to him?
Will she forgive her father?
Will she love Abir back?
The night arrives sooner than Abir expected. He meets everyone, even spots Vishambhar Maheshwari's driver outside. Kunal is busy attending guests and the ambience is heartbreakingly beautiful. He gets the feeling as if he'll lose everything tonight. He needs someone to assure him that it's going to be alright. But Abir cannot find Mishti waiting for him.
Is it really the beginning of the end?
I know the chapter ended in a not-so-good note but that's how I planned it. However I hope you enjoyed it and forgive me if it didn't make sense. Thank you everyone for your constant support and I hope all of you are doing fine. Times are tough but know that someone out there is always stand by you, you just need to show them that you care. And by that I mean take care of yourself too, it costs nothing to be nice to people and yourself.
Okay, honest confession time - I dedicate this chapter to the boy in my high school who will always have a very special place in my heart. No matter where we stand today, I hope I am not someone you won't talk about. Because my words still carry a bit of your traces although it's been too long. Maybe I don't to go back anymore but I hope you too have no regrets.
Also people, I won't be able to update for some time for some family issues. The COVID situation is really bad and I hope all of you take it seriously. Please stay safe and take care y'all, you never realise the loss until it's someone your own.
Love,
Kingkinee ^_^
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"Направих нещо ужасно само защото мразя майка и. А тя?! Тя е единственото момиче, което някога ще обичам. Но...това, което направих е непростимо." Мислех си за това, когато тя ме прегърна в гръб. Усетих ръцете й да стискат кръста ми. Тя подпря главата си на рамото ми. Плачеше. Тогава чух две думи,които ме стъписаха: -Обичам те! Погледнах я. Целунах я по челото и си тръгнах.Корица:sadreamer
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