"Do you want something to drink, Lyla?" Dad asked as he muted the TV.

I looked up from my puzzle and nodded.

He held out his hand for me as he stood.

I got up and went to him, sliding my hand into his. It was dumb but I didn't want to get yelled at for not listening. I was tired of it.

Mom came down the steps and stopped us just as we passed her. She grabbed the back of my diaper and held me in my spot.

I groaned. "Mom, what are you doing?"

She pulled my diaper away from my skin. "Checking your diaper. Come with me. You need changed."

I looked at dad as he started filling a sippy cup with milk before looking at mom who was waiting on the steps for me.

"We'll only be a few minutes."

I gave in and followed her upstairs. I laid down on the changing pad while she got what she needed to change me.

She knelt down in front of me and opened my diaper. The smell of poop filled my nose and I felt embarrassed that mom had to deal with the mess. Just using the diapers was embarrassing enough.

She cleaned me up and folded the diaper in on itself. She had just pulled it out form under me when I felt something warm under me. Then it hit me: I was peeing without a diaper being under me. And without me doing it.

Tears immediately filled my eyes and I covered my face with my hands.

Mom used a shirt that hadn't made it to the hamper just yet and absorbed as much of the mess as she could. "Sweetie, it's okay. Accidents happen sometimes."

"It's not okay. I don't want to... I'm not a baby. I don't need diapers." My denial was strong and I was sure mom picked up on it, too. I hated admitting that my body was failing me and making me slip into being a baby. I wasn't ready for it.

Mom lifted my dress up and helped me take it off, careful not to touch me with the wet parts. "Let's go get a bath. That'll make you feel better."

I nodded and followed her into the bathroom. She started the water and filled the tub with bubbles.

"I was thinking of making some cookies tonight. Would you like that?" Mom asked, filling the tension by changing the subject.

I nodded. I shivered from the cold air that hit my bare flesh.

Mom pulled my hair away from my face and into a ponytail so it wouldn't get wet. She grabbed a towel from the small closet and had me get in the tub.

I stepped in and immediately sat down, knowing the faster I got in the water, the faster I would be back in clothes.

Mom bathed me in record time, neither of us saying anything. She rinsed the soap off me then had me step out of the tub. She wrapped a towel around me before going to unplug the bath to let the water drain.

I chewed on my fingernail, silently wishing mom would hurry up. I didn't like wearing the diapers but if it meant not having accidents, I wouldn't complain.

"Go lay down on my bed."

I knew she had to clean up the changing mat. There was a lot of cleaning up that she had to do just from changing a diaper and giving me a bath. I was sure she was glad I could walk and be left alone in a room so she could get it done. Mothers with real babies didn't have that luxury.

I went to her room and sat down on the edge of the bed. Their room was laid out differently than back home as it was smaller. Their bed was always made with the purple blankets mom liked. A quilt my grandmother had made for mom was draped over the chair in the corner along with some books mom had stacked. The dresser sat on mom's side of the bed with jewelry on the top. A bedside table was beside dad with a clock and an empty glass that he usually filled with water each night. Several pictures of me when I was younger were on the walls. One was of me when I was four, my hair braided back in pigtails. I quickly looked away as mom came in, a new outfit and diaper in her hands.

I laid back and covered my chest with the blanket. Mom slid the diaper under me then sprinkled baby powder between my legs. She taped up the diaper then helped me put on the shorts and t-shirt she'd picked out for me.

"Why don't you go watch TV with dad? I'll get started on those cookies soon."

I slipped off the bed and went downstairs, feeling the diaper squish between my legs with each step. At least with the diaper on, no one would know when I was peeing. It wasn't nearly as embarrassing and I thought it would have been.

I picked up the stuffed bunny off the floor and tucked it in my arm. I laid down on the couch, resting my head on dad's leg.

"Did you get a bath?"

I nodded. "It was mom's idea."

"Do you want me to warm your drink up?"

I glanced at the sippy cup on the coffee table. I wasn't able to tell what was inside of it. "What is it?"

"Hot chocolate."

I sat up and let dad take my drink to the kitchen to heat it up. I hadn't expected to be gone so long.

Dad came back with my warmed up hot chocolate and I resumed my spot, my head in his lap. I didn't have any interest in watching the show he had on and figured I'd fall asleep after I drank the hot chocolate.

Mom came down eventually and went into the kitchen to start making the cookies.

Dad brushed the hair from my face. "Lyla, do you want to go to bed?"

I shook my head, the spout of the cup between my lips.

"I don't want you falling asleep, understand?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not tired."

He smiled and brushed the hair from my face. "We'll see."