Madison's hands were shaking as she sat. She tried to focus on anything other than the woman in front of her, but ultimately couldn't get past her overlined red lipstick and the spinach in her teeth. It was disgusting, but Madison was too anxious to say anything.

"So, Madison, why do you think you should be here today?" The woman sipped her Fanta loudly, her swallowing being the only sound in the room. It made Madison flinch with discomfort.

"I... I need to figure out how to manage and cope with my emotions, instead of pushing people away," Madison said. She hummed, and wrote something down in her notebook.

—

"How'd it go, baby girl?" Corpse asked, opening the door for Madison to get into the passenger seat.

She waited until he came around and sat down before responding, "It was fine." She knew she didn't sound very confident, and that's because she wasn't. Therapy had sucked. The woman acted as if she was barely paying attention, and Madison hated it. She learned nothing and got no recommendations before leaving. She had already decided she would have to find someone else to help her, but honestly she was emotionally drained.

"How was your appointment," she asked, laying a hand on top of Corpse's on the gear stick. She played with his fingers anxiously, still trying to calm down after the shit show that was her appointment.

"It was okay.. didn't do anything new, just physical therapy."

Madison nodded.

After a month and a half, They had a system going now. Both of them had two appointments a week; Corpse at physical therapy, and Madison at therapy. They scheduled them perfectly so Corpse could drop her off and pick her up when he was done. They saved gas money, and were able to discuss the outcome on the way home. Most of the time, they would talk the whole way, trying to figure out new plans and more ways to communicate.

Madison did have a different therapist, but she was on maternity leave for the rest of the month, forcing her to go to someone new. It was frustrating, having to start over, and it made Madison feel like she had made no progress.

It wasn't a good day for her emotionally, but she tried to keep that to herself. Corpse had enough going on, and definitely didn't need to deal with her problems.

"Madison.." he squeezed her hand to get her attention. "What's wrong? You're pushing me away instead of talking about what's bothering you."

He was using a tactic they had talked about with Madison's old therapist. If Corpse could remind her to talk through the problem, she would realize it wasn't so bad and stop overthinking it so much. It had normally worked, but Madison was feeling defeated. She didn't want to do this right now. She didn't want to talk, or figure it out, or explain anything. She wanted to sit, in silence, with her boyfriend, and pretend her life was perfect.

She sighed, and looked at him sadly. He glanced her way, but kept his eyes on the road. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I know you may not want to, babe, but you'll feel better after you do," Corpse reminded her. She knew he was right, but she really didn't want to.

She huffed, turning her entire body towards the window. She didn't know why she was so irritable. They had agreed to do this together, and she was going to have to get used to him asking her these kinds of questions when she didn't want to answer. They had already talked about that. So why was she mad? She didn't know, but she couldn't calm her racing heart and brain. She was mad, and she herself didn't know why.

Corpse ignored her for the rest of the ride home. She didn't know if he was upset with her, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She was exhausted and wanted to sleep and pretend for a moment that her life didn't suck.

When they go to her apartment, she got out first, just ready to go lay down. She looked back to see Corpse still in the car, staring down at his lap. For a moment she was annoyed. Why couldn't he just figure it out himself? Why did she have to baby him?

She walked hastily to his door, opening it harshly. "Corpse," she began, her voice coming off a lot stronger than usual.

"I... I can't move my right hand," he said quietly. He wouldn't look away. She could see his forearm tensing, but he was right, none of his fingers would move.

Madison massaged his hand slowly, doing what his therapist had showed her. She tried to be gentle, making sure his hand was still and calm. If he started to freak out, it would get worse.

"You're okay, baby. Just gotta awaken your nerves, okay," Madison soothed. "My new therapist sucks," she spilled, knowing distracting him was the only thing that would keep him from starting to panic.

"She drank orange Fanta through the whole session, and had food in her teeth. It was awful. She didn't give me any advice, just wrote in her notebook, told me to have a good day, and she left before I could even stand up from the chair. I miss Dr. K. She was nice, and patient. This lady... I hate her. She horrible... and I will never drink Orange Fanta again."

Corpse laughed softly at her over exaggeration, "so new therapist then?"

"Absolutely," she finished with his pinkie, "try now, bub."

He finally got some movement back, but not full motion. She kissed each finger, before tugging him out of the car. "You were upset because of your appointment?" Corpse confirmed.

Madison nodded, keeping her hand in his as she stepped into the elevator and pressed the button up to her floor of the apartment complex. "But I couldn't stop being angry for a minute... I'm sorry," she looked at him apologetically, kissed his hand again.

He shook his head, "it's okay. You didn't take it out on me, and that's already showing progress, baby. You're doing better than you think you are," he reminded, kissing her forehead before they stepped out of the elevator and walked to her door.

After Madison made them dinner, Corpse had to join a stream. They had gotten pretty good at having traveling set ups in each other's apartments. For Corpse, it was easier because he didn't use a face cam, so he played anywhere. Tonight, he had decided to play on her couch, Madison sitting next to him with a book in her lap, her legs under his laptop. He was using his mouse against her thigh. It wasn't the most professional set up, but he wasn't supposed to be playing for long anyway.

Tonight, he was playing RAFT with Rae, Toast, and Sykkuno. Although he wasn't streaming, everyone else was so Madison had to be quiet.

He had never played before, so they started from the beginning, immediately working on gathering materials. They continued to collect until they could make a water purifier and a grill. Corpse made a fishing pole, trying to help his friends stay alive. They were quiet in this game, only freaking out when the shark would attack them, and Corpse liked it more than the loud nature of Among Us or Phasmophobia.

About an hour in, Madison noticed Corpse had been quiet for a long time. She set down her book, and lifted her head, seeing Corpse staring at his right hand. The mouse was slipping through his fingers, nearly out of his hand.

"Baby?" she whispered, hoping he was muted.

"Madison," he said, his voice shaky. She could tell he was nearly to tears.

"It's okay, bub, hold on," she moved the laptop from her legs, setting it on the coffee, table and moved her legs. She sat up better, so she could make him as comfortable as possible. "What happened?"

"I... I don't know, I just... I can't move them," his voice cracked, drawing her attention to his face. He wouldn't stop looking at his hands, silently crying. "I'm trying to move... but, I just can't!"

She began working at his hands and wrists again, trying to get more blood flow to those areas. Because Corpse had so many chronic issues, the doctors couldn't pinpoint what the cause of this was, which was only making it more frustrating. He took his medicine daily, and some days it worked better than others. Today wasn't that day. She tried to help, without overworking his hands more than they already had been. She assumed that's what had happened. After physical therapy, then driving, then playing; it was a lot for him. She worked her way up his entire arm, and into his shoulders, hoping that if worked at enough places, he wouldn't lose feeling everywhere. As she moved across his limbs, she kissed each part, telling him it would be okay.

"Unmute me," he rushed out, Madison immediately clicking the button on the keyboard. "I'm here, sorry," he said sadly.

"Corpse? Are you okay?" Rae asked.

"Uh... real life or in game?"

"Both..."

"I'm okay," he let out a deep breath. "My symptoms are acting up right now," he said quietly, trying not to bring too much attention to himself.

Rae reassured him it was okay for him to leave, along with Toast and Sykkuno. Madison understood that he probably didn't want to let anyone down, but honestly he should've gotten off long ago. She gave him a soft smile, nodding slightly.

"Okay," Corpse gave in, sadly. He let Madison shut down everything and take his headphones off for him. She helped him into her bed, and they opted for a cuddle night before bed. After watching random shows on Netflix, Corpse finally fell asleep, still unable to move.

Madison would never have admitted it to him, but she was terrified.

next update: 12/22 9pm est