"Hello everyone!" She greeted, letting her intro finish. "Today we are going to have a little bit of a chill stream. I'm gonna let you guys ask some questions, then play some Among Us!" Madison announced.

She let more viewers arrive, posting the link on Twitter and Instagram before zoning in to the live chat. "Because most of the questions are about where I've been, I do think I will touch on that a little bit today, but only because I feel like it. Not cause you guys asked."

She continued watching the chat, thanking people for their donations as they popped up on her screen. She didn't want to start too early, intending to avoid having to repeat herself multiple times. When the viewer count got to what she thought was good enough, she began her story, sipping on her iced coffee to get her through this.

"Okay, so like I said, a lot of the questions are about the last six months or so... well, I guess seven now. I do just want to preface this by saying I will read the superchats and donations and everything at the very end of the stream. I won't forget! Also, even though I've been through tough shit, I'm still a bad bitch, and you are too." She sipped more of her coffee, unsure if it's helping or causing her nerves.

"Alright so of course, most of you know I've been streaming with some pretty popular gamers, instead of doing my normal beauty or lifestyle videos... I don't want to ever say I won't make those videos again because I don't think that's true, but it's also unfair to you guys to make statements I don't truly know the answers to. I just fell off of it, I guess. I stopped being inspired by that, so I stopped producing content. I knew it wasn't what everyone wanted but it was what I had to do at the time, to keep myself sane..."

Her chat began to spam hearts, encouraging her to continue on. "Thanks for the love, I see it, by the way. Anyway, so it started out by me just not posting videos, then all of my comments on Instagram became so negative that I wasn't interested in that either. So I deleted it all. I was a mess, for weeks, because of that shit. It was so negative and disgusting. I felt disgusting about myself and I hate that feeling.... Something I also was unsure if I wanted to mentioned is that I have severe anxiety, so when people start to hate me I take it extremely personally. I don't just let it go because my anxiety, combined with my OCD, convinces my brain to think that the whole world hates me because of one thing. And I know that's not true; I'm just trying to explain how I feel."

She was grateful that her mods were filtering the chat pretty well. She didn't want to know what Twitter was doing right now, but she was sure it wasn't good. She knew people would accuse her of doing all of this for attention, but if talking about her own struggles helped one other person she would be happy. "So when I started to hang out with Rachell, Imane, and Janet, I was so happy. I was happy that I had found a group of positive friends that were honest with me when I was wrong, but were also truthful with me when my anxiety was hindering me from moving on. I spent a lot time with them, talking through my emotions, and trying to make sense of what I was feeling on a day to day basis. I had the best summer of my life because of them, and I was scared as hell that the second I came back, all of the progress I had previously made would go to shit."

Madison noticed a lot of people piecing her anxiety together with Rae's stream. "So yeah, I was nervous as hell, and being over sensitive, and already having a bad day when I agreed to stream with Rae a few days ago, but I made it through it with only a single anxiety attack and slight discomfort. I'm trying my best!"

Everyone in her chat seemed pretty supportive. She tried to thank as many of them as she could before she saw more questions pour in. "How is Corpse? I don't know, honestly. We're more like friends through friends. I don't have any way to contact him aside from Instagram, and he doesn't respond to me when I reach out," she laughed. She had gotten over it by now, instead trying to be positive and funny about it.

The second she mentioned Instagram DM's, the chat flooded with everyone saying "HIS DM'S DONT WORK." Thousands of comments, all saying the same thing, brought Madison to a realization. He hadn't intentionally ignored her.

—

After Rae walked through installing the proximity chat mod onto her Among Us, the entire group settled on that being the more fun option. It was unfortunate that Madison had just learned how to play the regular version when it got changed.

"Alright, guys. Just want to warn you, I probably can't talk to chat a lot since everyone can hear me all the time..."

For the first game of the night, she was a crewmate. It was weird to hear everyone around her, having conversations, as she did tasks. She tried not to talk too much, but didn't want to seem sus for being too quiet. It was a fine line to walk on.

She noticed Corpse alone in Navigation, standing in the corner on top of a vent. "Uhhh.. Corpse?"

"Yeah?"

"Is the vent... um.... is that vent fun to stand on?" Madison's pink character made slow movements towards Corpse.

"Yeah, you should uh, try it? Maybe?"

Madison joined Corpse on the vent. The way she was standing made it appear that he was wearing her bat wings instead of his cat ears. "Wow, this is pretty nice. The bat wings suit you."

"You look better, but thanks." They stood still for a few more seconds before Madison slowly started to back away. She was surprised they hadn't been joined by anyone else yet.

"Hey, uh, Corpse while we're alone, quick question..."

He hummed out a response.

"Why did you ignore my Instagram DM?"

"Oh, my DM's are broken. I don't check them at all. You can have my number though, just check the discord chat."

Madison was running away when he stabbed her.