the first two boys awake the next morning were changbin and jisung, changbin couldn't wait to leave chan's room, being completely miserable due to the fact he had to witness felix laying on chan's chest while he slept.

having been away from felix all summer made him forget what being around the boy felt like. felix was only in korea for a week after he and changbin broke up, but then he immediately got on a plane and headed to australia. changbin didn't have to deal with the consequences of his actions, but now he was paying the price.

"hey bin," jisung said as he rubbed his eyes, joining changbin on the stools that were placed by the island in the kitchen.

"hey jisung, how'd you sleep?" changbin asked the boy who looked exhausted.

"uh-- i slept... i um..." jisung kept stuttering, unable to form a complete sentence.

"shut up jisung, i won't tell chan." changbin shook his head as he let out a heavy sigh.

"no it wasn't like that!" jisung stated defensively.

"then what was it like?" changbin asked as he cocked an eyebrow at the boy.

"we-- we uh... well we watched a movie on his phone... and then i--i um... i kissed his cheek... and then he kissed my li--"

"jisung, just shut up." changbin laughed at the boy trying to tiptoe around what really happened.

"no no no! we just kissed and then we started talking for majority of the night! it was really nice actually." jisung said shyly as he looked down at his hands whilst he kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"hmmm... okay, i believe you." changbin shrugged as he placed his head in his hands, trying to shake off the exhaustion he still felt.

"did you sleep well?" jisung asked in return.

"fuck no." changbin stated as if it were obvious.

"but you were with hyunjin, thought that would make you happy." jisung shrugged.

"what do you mean?" changbin narrowed his eyes at the boy.

"you like him, don't you?"

"uh... well... jeongin slept in the middle anyway." changbin said nervously, avoiding eye contact with jisung.

"i guess we know why you broke up with felix now... you know he used to worry you were cheating on him with hyunjin. that's why he stopped talking to him for awhile." jisung explained, having the intentions of helping felix.

"h-he did?" changbin asked, feeling the guilt swarm him.

"yeah, i cant even count the amount of time he cried to me about you while you guys were still together. he always just wanted to make you happy, he loved you so much changbin."

"way to make me feel like shit..." changbin sighed.

"you should feel like shit, you broke him. all he wanted was to do right by you, he did all he could for you and yet it still wasn't enough."

"i know... i didn't mean to fall for hyunjin, it just happened." and as changbin let the truth come out, a floor board creaked exposing the sunshine that had turned into a rain cloud.

"felix..." changbin said as he watched the boy turn around quickly and walk into the bathroom.

felix locked himself in there, letting the tears pour out of him as he realized all his worries were right.

changbin likes hyunjin, he probably always has.

felix felt worthless, his depression eating away at him in the worst possible ways and convincing him that he is unlovable.

changbin doenst realize the internal battle felix is facing, no one does.

felix keeps it all to himself, allowing others to think the only issues in his life have to do with changbin.

but in reality, felix is numb. the only real pain he feels is inflicted by changbin, but even that he is starting to get used to.

felix walks around day in and day out like a robot, programmed to be happy around others, but as soon as he is alone he shuts down.

he didn't know how much longer he could continue to fight that battle.

a.n.

yall my heart breaks for felix in this story

but I DONT WANT YALL TO HATE CHANGBIN

also all your theories are so good

some of you got parts of it correct:)

OH AND THANK YOU FOR 1K READS ALREADY LIKE SIDHWODO WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH