《Astral Reviews Vol. 2》Review 21- Between the Redwoods

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Plot (6/10)

I was confused at first to what the plot was or even what was going on. I was only sure about what your story was about because I read your synopsis. Make it clearer what's going on and why.

Grammar (7/10)

There is multiple errors here and there. They are big enough to notice but not so big that they take too much from the reading. There is a need for punctuation in certain places or its in the wrong place. There is also a few run-on sentences.

Characters (7/10)

Characters don't show as much depth as you need. We don't really understand your characters and who they are. We should feel apart of thier lives rather than just reading about them. Your characters should be able to inspire the readers that read about them. You need to show they can be more dynamic and have more personality.

Cover (6/10)

Your cover is very underdeveloped and does not flow well together. The words under the title can't be seen without zooming in. You can make the title pop more to stand out. The story cover isn't something that pops out. It's one thing is a piece of art is being showcased but it's only trees. You can fade things in or make the trees metaphorically. I would look into it if you can.

Title (8/10)

Creative name but I still think it can be taken a step further than what it is. I don't know the exact direction you want to take it in but I still feeling its missing that it factor that makes it unique.

Detail (7/10)

There is attention to detail but not enough that I get a sense of what is going on. You want the reader to know exactly as you see everything. Detail brings a book together and without it, your book won't be able to reach higher heights.

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Originality (7/10)

You seem to have a unique idea but it's not fleshed out. I was confused with the unique ideas you were trying to showcase with your story. You need to make it clearer what makes your story one of a kind and something a reader can't see anywhere else.

Prologue/ Introduction(6/10)

Honestly, with just reading that first part, I was just confused about what was going on. I was lost reading it and I reread just to see if I misunderstood. Clarity can make or break a book. If your reader doesn't understand what's going on even at the beginning then they won't read. Of course, there is a mysterious 'I don't know whats going on' but your start is all over the place.

Writing Skills (7/10)

Overall there is work to be done. I would say in the sentence construction area and syntax, you should work on those first. There was also a few errors in spelling so I would look into fixing those. After that, I would say to work on your word choice or diction.

Overall Story(6/10)

I look forward to seeing how you improve your book. There is work to be done in all areas but don't be discouraged. I read how this was maybe your first book. Skills increase over time so keep writing and your skill will get better. The ones that I may have not given the best score are the ones I hope to revisit and give another review because I like to see the growth of other writers.

Overall Score: 67 (D+)

Contact me with any questions or concerns.

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