-

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Olivia!”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Get up or you’ll be late for school!”

I groaned and rolled over to my side to snuggle up to someone warm. My breathing matched with his and when we both sighed at the same time when the alarm clock refused to shut up. This jolted me awake.

“Omigosh! What time is it?”

I rolled over and glanced at the clock and felt a rush of relief over me. Seven thirty. Okay, that’s not so bad. I still have an hour to get ready for school.

Once I silenced the clock I turned back over to look at me bed buddy. He was still sleeping, mostly. He was moving around a little more now.

I was in shock he was still in my bed really. He promised he’d be gone by morning and after the last time he spent the night with me, I believed him. Thomas wasn’t the sticking around type. Anyone he’s ever been with can attest to that.

That realization sent an unjustified bitterness through me. It wasn’t me right to get mad at him for anything he did in the past, present or future. We were just friends and nothing more. He could do whoever or whatever he wanted to.

I threw the covers off of me, grabbed some clothes, and stomped to the bathroom, closing the door behind me as I left.

“I’m up!” I shouted before slamming the door the bathroom and starting the shower.

I took a relatively quick one, trying to make sure I wouldn’t miss my first period class and didn’t even pay attention that someone had joined me inside the bathroom. I could hear them lift up the toilet seat and do their business.

“Cody, get out!” I yelled assuming my brother was the only one dumb enough to enter a clearly taken bathroom like he had on many occasions through his impatience.

“Someone’s grouchy,” Thomas laughed. “Forget to take your vitamins this morning?”

My stomach dropped and my breathing stalled for a moment until I realized I was standing naked in the shower…alone in a bathroom…with a very hot and very experienced teenage male.

“Thomas, what are you doing here?” I shrieked. “Are you crazy?”

“That seems to be the common conclusion.” I could hear the amusement in his voice through the shower curtain. “And I had to pee,” he added casually. As if it were the most common thing in the world to intrude upon someone’s shower.

“What if someone saw you come in here? I have two siblings and an aunt who also live here.”

Does he seriously not think about these things before acting on his decisions?

“Are-are you decent?” I asked as I gripped the curtain firmly in my hands. I was ready to lash out at him the moment I was in the clear.

“Mm hmm,” was his only reply.

I cautiously, but fiercely stuck my out of the shower and saw Thomas was standing over the sink washing his hands. One he finished up and dried his hands I began my lashing out. Halfway through, the alertness of my situation got the better of me and I started sputtering for words.

“I-you-ugh- I’m naked you know!” I felt the need to point out the obvious since he obviously wasn’t getting it and made no move to leave.

He crossed his arms, smiled and looked at me through his thick, dark lashes. My knees temporarily weakened in his presence.

“Really?” he asked in feign disbelief. “You’re naked…in the shower? You mean I’m not the only one who bathes in the nude?”

I felt my face blush at the thought of him naked and moved to cover up my face, letting the curtain fall closed.

He chuckled.

“Anita will kill me if she finds out you spent the night here without her knowing.”

There was a moment of silence and then, “I think you’re about ten minutes too late for that one.”

My stomach dropped to the floor. “Wait. Y-you already saw her?"

"That would be why I said you were too late."

Uh oh. Not good. I yanked the curtain back and stared at him once again. “What did she say? Did she look mad? Should I leave through the window today?”

He took a step forward and I clutched the curtain tighter as if it were some sort of invisible shield protecting me from him.

“She smiled, said good morning and told me it was nice to see me again.,” he said.

I allowed my eyebrow rise a faction of an inch, not sure if I believed him or he was just messing with me.”

He started to laugh. "I'm kidding. She was coming up the stairs the same time I was walking by the bathroom so I came in to hide. I didn’t want to get you in trouble."

Well, I suppose that was kind of considerate in his own way.

Then something dawned on me. “Wait, where is she now?”

He shrugged. “Not sure. But I think I heard the downstairs door close a second ago.”

“And the twins?”

“Probably with her.”

I shivered involuntarily. “I see.”

My knuckles were as white as snow now from the tightly fisted curtain in my hands. Thomas noticed.

“Something wrong, Liv?” he teased.

My heart was beating wildly in my chest. This was really happening. I was trapped, alone in the bathroom with Thomas and he showed no signs of leaving. I was starting to feel like an animal backed into a corner facing down a wolf that hadn’t ate in anything in a week. Thomas the equivalent to the big, hungry wolf of course.

“Uh, what? No. Nothing,” I said snapping from my thoughts. “Just um… just to clarify here. My Aunt is gone and my brother and sister are gone, so we are…”

“Utterly alone? Probably.”

His eyes roamed up and down the shower curtain as if he could see me through it and glanced back up at me with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

Oh sweet heaven. This is not going to end well for me.

“Well.” I tried to act like that fact didn’t bother me, but I’m sure he could hear my heart thumping rapidly. “Thank you for avoiding her for my sake, but I’d like to finish my shower now, if you don’t mind.”

He smirked, dropped his arms and backed to the door. “Yeah, sure.” He motioned to my body with the wave of his hand and said, “I’ll let you get back to that.”

I was just about to ask him what that was supposed to mean when he picked up my clothes off the bathroom counter and turned and left with them clutched in his hands without another word.

I sighed. Great.

I stood in the shower for what felt like an eternity then finally forced myself out. There was no way I would be able to avoid Thomas forever. He was probably lurking by the door anyway, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce on me. This was his dream come true.

I was wearing nothing, but a towel, in a house, alone with him. I wasn't so sure me, or my virginity were very safe at the moment.

“Thomas?” I called, pressing my ear against the white wooden door. It was the only thing separating me from him and I wasn’t about to lose that without some reassurance he was not waiting for me.

No answer.

Hmm. It’s probably a trick to get me out. But I can't exactly see myself staying in here forever just to avoid him. THat woul get pretty boring.

“Thomas?” I called again even louder.

Again no answer.

Alright. Here we go. It’s all or nothing. I gripped the door handle flung it open and stood back, far inside the bathroom. I knew from enough scary movies it was a dumb I idea to just step out into an empty hallway until you looked around a bit first. That’s how the stupid character ended up dead in the first ten minutes of the movie. I was not that character.

“Hello?” I said loudly enough that he should be able to hear me no problem.

Thomas said nothing. The only reply was his silence.

Maybe he left. Yeah, right.

I crept closer to the door and poked my head out. Thomas was nowhere to be seen. I breathed a sigh of relief and stared at my door across the hall. It was standing open wide and there was no sign of him in there either. Now, if I could just make it to the door and lock the door behind me, I’d be fine.

I stepped into the hall and waited for an attack. When it didn’t come I felt safe to proceed to my destination. Silently I crept to the door, making a little noise as possible, just in case he was listening for me from somewhere else in the house. When I reached the entry way to my room I checked for him again and made my way inside.

Still no Thomas in sight. Good, my room was safe.

I quickly slammed and locked the door behind me. Take that, Thomas, you jerk!

I shuffled through the clothes in my closet and found another outfit to wear. I tossed it on the bed, grabbed some undergarmets from my drawers and slipped them on under the towel before removing it. I dried my hair letting it fall into a natural, careless wave across my back and started to get really worried when I still hadn't heard from Thomas. Maybe he really did leave.

I turned to my window and peaked out my blinds looking for him and gave up after a couple of minutes. When I turned back to my bed I let out a loud shriek and reached for my towel on the floor to cover up.

Thomas was casually stretched across my bed like his was a permanent fixture there and he belong. I'd never admit this to him, but he did look good there.

After a few seconds of blind panic I was finally able to speak. “What are you doing? You nearly gave me a heart attack!” I yelled at Thomas.

"Wow, Liv. I didn't think you'd be so trusting out here in the open. "Nice. That shows guts."

My face was flaming red, the top of my head my prickling with anger, and my heart working overtime to pump blood through my body. And one thought kept constant on my mind. For a split second I’d been standing in front of Thomas in only a bra and underwear.

“Nice? Nice? I almost died!”

He gave me an incredulous look. “You’re just being dramatic.”

Of course I was dramatic, he just scared me to death!

I huffed and pointed toward my door. “Out! Get out, get out, get out.”

He didn’t move from his position in front of me, almost as if I hadn’t spoken at all. He only smiled at me.

“I’m serious,” I said. “Get out of my room.”

He shook his head and made step toward me. He now stood between me and my clothes and I began to panic again. He was slowly nearing me still. I didn’t like when he got too close to me. He messed with my head and breathing. It was impossible to think clearly.

“Come on, Liv. What are you so mad?” he teased.

I crossed my arms and gave him a looked that dared him to come any closer. He paused only for a moment. “You took my clothes!” I said.

“But it was funny.”

I narrowed my eyes and stared him down. He took another step forward. “It was a little funny. Admit it.”

“No.” My voice was firm though I didn’t feel it.

He took another step closer. “Yes.”

I shook my head. “No.”

Another step. His body was touching mine now, our fronts barely touching. “Yes.”

My breathing hitched for a second. It was as if he had hold of my wind pipe and wouldn’t let it go. After a second of trying to get my head together I tried to speak again but my voice only shook. “No?”

He nodded, his eyes bore into my daring me to contradict him again. They were still full of humor, but he also and an intensity about him that made my knees go weak. You are weak, Olivia.

I gulped. “Okay, maybe a little funny.” At least it would be once some time passed and we both looked back on this moment together.

He grinned finally, taking a piece of my hair between his fingers and sliding it threw them. “That’s my girl.”

That snapped me out of whatever spell he had me under and I moved around him to my bed. He didn’t try to stop me from try to retrieve my clothes thankfully, so I gathered them up and turned to look at him.

“I’m not your girl. You don’t date, remember?” It wasn’t something someone like him was likely to forget.

“Just because I don’t date,” he said, motioning between the two of us, “doesn’t make this any less than what it is.”

I slipped on my pants on under my towel and then turned away from him before stripping out of it completely and placing my shirt over my head. It wasn’t anything Thomas hadn’t already seen before, but I still felt shy.

I turned back to face him. “And what is “this” exactly?” I asked, deliberately making air quotes to emphasize the word.

He stared at me for a minute as if trying to think of the answer and after what seemed like a considerable amount of time he finally answered me. “It’s whatever we want it to be. We don’t have to break it down and define it. Just because it doesn’t have a title doesn’t me it isn’t something.”

I laughed, though it was absent of humor. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. It has to be something or else it’s nothing. What am I suppose to tell people when they ask what we’re doing? If I give them your crazy answer they’ll laugh at me.”

He raised his eyebrow at me as if I’d just initiated a challenge by rebelling against him and he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me, hard. Thomas liked challenges. It gave him a chance to show off his power and what he could really pursued someone to do. I can't ever remember a challenge he didn’t win. Whether it was fighting, arguing, or just trying to show-off, he never backed down and never lost. And, unfortunately, I was the reciprocate this time.

I didn’t stand a chance.

“Then don’t tell them anything," he said. "It’s not anyone’s business but our own.”

I stood there shaking my head feeling at a loss of what I was supposed to do. I suppose on some level he was right, it wasn’t anyone else’s business, but I wasn’t because of them that I was asking. It’s because of me. I needed to know what to tell myself what was happening between us.

“Maybe, but I have to know. What is it that you want from me exactly? I don’t even know what you’re suggesting.”

The space between us didn’t last for long. Thomas made his way to me and erased it completely. Without enough time to think about what he was doing, I stood there watching him unsure of what was going to happen next.

He reached out and hooked his fingers in the belt loop of my jeans and pulled me forward until my body crashed into his. It temporarily startled me that I didn’t have time to register what was going on, and before I knew what he was doing, his lips were on mine.

They were hot and rough at first, as if he were starving for something he couldn’t quite have, something just out of reach and then after he realized I wasn’t going anywhere, and was slowly starting to respond to him, he relaxed a little and he became gentler.

His hand cupped the back of my neck as his tongue touched my bottom lip. It was very warm and my mouth was welcoming to it. I didn’t even understand what I was doing, as I was doing it. It was as if my body had suddenly had taken over and my mind was in the backseat. In the moment I was just a bystander watching myself succumb to Thomas’s charms without a spark of resistance.

I found myself acting on impulse, reaching up and tangling my hands in his hair. He needed to be closer; I wanted him to be closer. I pulled him against me so hard it was as if our bodies were trying to mold into one person.

Heat was spreading like fire through my body. It touched in all the most dangerous places. My head was spinning. I had no idea how to control myself and I didn’t have time to figure it out now.

No doubt he’d been through this routine several times with Sarah and whoever else struck his fancy. This thought seemed to bring me out of my stupor long enough to see what was happening and I let out a light squeal.

Thomas froze and pulled away from the kiss. His look was startled and then confused.

He looked worried as he tried to speak. “Liv,-”

I looked down and straightened out my clothes while avoiding making eye contact with him. I could still feel the heat on my face from what I’d done. “We can’t do this. My aunt could come home at any minute despite her schedule, we have no protection and I refuse to be a cliché of the aftermath.”

If I slept with him, not that I was planning on it, I knew I’d be that girl. The one that asked all the wrong questions that freaked the guy out and made her seem needy. Where’s this going? Are we dating now? I guess we should tell our friends.

Uh-uh. No way. I didn't want to be her. But I refused to be just some random hook-up. I'd feel cheap and used and I knew that's exactly how he made girls feel.

Ohmigod. I'd be Julia.

That was more than awkward. It was clear my willpower needed some serious work.

“That’s a lot of reasons,” he finally said after some thought.

I fumbled with the end of my shirt, suddenly finding the stitch work very interesting and worthy of all my attention as I spoke back to him.

“They’re very good reasons,” I said. “I know that this is probably second nature to you, but for me this is new and I want more than…” I took in a deep breath before finishing. “…just sex.”

He grinned teasingly. “For the record it wouldn’t be “just sex.” It would be great sex.”

I shot him a look. “Thomas, I’m serious. I need more something real. You feel-” I cut off. Was I really about to confess my fears and thoughts to him just like that?

"Yes?" he questioned.

He was staringa tme intently when I looked up to meet his gaze. He was waiting for answers and I was the one who had them.

I sighed. Here I go. "You feel unstable. I feel like once we take that last step you'll have had what you wanted and you'll evaporate into thin air, like you were never really here."

What I also didn't say was I couldn't imagine a life that Thomas wasn't in. He'd made my life far complicated than it needed to be, drove me insane and intemidated the hell out of me, but the truth was, life would be quite boring without him. And the only scarier than a life with Thomas was a life without him.

"I want," I continued searching for the right words.

He cut in. “What I can’t offer you.”

I looked at him and nodded. It was a bitter realization to come too. What we had been doing the last few weeks had been fun, and annoying and real. I hated to give that up so quickly, but I knew I couldn’t let this go on anymore. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I would always want more and he’d never want to give enough.

“So, what do we do now?” I asked, almost reluctantly. I feared the answer.

He looked down at his feet and no matter how hard I tried to study him, I couldn’t even guess what he must be thinking. He was a closed book and always would be.

He sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair. “We go to school.”

"Okay. School." If that's what he wanted then I would go along because anyhting was better than facing this right now.

Neither of us came to a solution on the way to school. Of course that was probably because he was in his car and I was in mine. I had to carpool today. Today it would only be Farrah and I though. Grace texted me on the way to her house saying she already had a ride. I think Farrah and I both knew it was a guy. One in particular she was ready for either of us to meet you.