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So here we are by the beach. The air is warmer than back home and smells distinctly of salt and sunshine. The mini road trip here with the family was...less than pleasant. Thankfully that's easy to forget when I'm struck by the beauty of the ocean. On and on, it stretches as far as I can see. Looking at it, I feel small and insignificant. Water is the most powerful force of mother nature and the ocean somewhat scares me.

There's so much of it, it can swallow ships three times the size of my school and hide them for eternity. My mind takes me down to it's darkest depths and I have to wonder. What's down there? Graveyards of centuries of sunken vessels? A flooded ancient civilization? Megalodons? Mermaids? All the things Namjoon's ever lost?

Speaking of, this is his fault. Since when do I think this deeply (pun intended)? Never. I'm one dimensional. He's the one that says things like, 'If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, then does it make a noise?' and I'm the one that says, 'That's the stupidest shit I ever heard.' Which, it is. Sound isn't created in our own ears, it's created by waves of vibrations meeting in the air and reflecting off of any medium. Air, water—DAMMIT NAMJOON! Now I'm thinking all scientifically.

How dare he make me smarter.

The point, which wasn't originally the point when I started, but is now the point because I say so, is that I'm saying it today. I love you. He has to hear it. Today.

The inn was small and quaint. Two stories with huge floor to ceiling windows, it's close enough to the ocean that I could hear it but not see it, due to the thicket of trees and shrubbery surrounding the building. Comprised of twenty rooms in total, it's family run by this adorable old couple, both of whom are shorter than me and sweeter than a bowl of skittles. They paid no mind to the dysfunctional cluster that is my family and greeted us with professionalism.

I ditched them as soon as possible and headed out with the people I can stand being around, i.e., Eun-ji, In-guk, Namjoon, and his friends (with the exception of Yoongi since he'd rather sleep and hang with his 'baby girl' all weekend).

His statement makes me feel somewhat threatened.

Is he beating me in a cat loving competition?!?

NO. Calm down, Y/n. If dad wasn't direct family I wouldn't have come here, either. Besides that, it's not like Carl isn't the best cat sitter I could get. I purposely did not invite him to this so he could cat sit for me. Does that make me a bad person? I like to think it makes me an opportunist. And Carl lit up like a kid on Christmas morning when I asked him to watch my babies for me. That, and I have a nanny cam so I can check on them whenever I want.

BEAT THAT, YOONGI.

From now on, we are rivals!

I'm not dramatic. This is a serious matter.

Once we hit the (apparently private—Ronald is way more extra than I originally pegged him to be) beach, everyone ran off to do their own thing. Mostly taking pictures and doing normal stuff, and here's my boyfriend chasing crabs.

Apparently, crabs are Namjoon's cats. It doesn't matter that they run from him, bite him (this has happened four times already and each time he's equally heart broken), hide from him, and pretty much seem to hate his entire existence, Namjoon really loves crabs. He's like an excited kid each time he manages to catch one and bring it to show me.

It's a pretty good afternoon overall. Until Namjoon brings up a subject of a different kind of ceremony.

His crab curiosity satiated, he plops down to the ground next to where I sit to watch the other guys burying Jin in the sand. I take his hands in my own and huff in annoyance over the small bites those stupid crabs made. Next time I eat crab, I'm going to enjoy it so much more.

With a smile he wraps an arm around my neck and pulls me closer. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you." he states, glancing towards the guys (who are now sculpting what seem to be sand breasts on Jin's chest) before shifting his eyes back to mine.

"Me too." I admit. "But you go first." I need to tell him I love him, but going on past experience, it's probably best to wait till there's no danger of 'Noona!' Or 'Hyung!' From any of his friends.

"Alright. There's something that wasn't in the book I gave you about our culture."

Odd, but ok. I motion for him to continue.

"This has to happen at some point—whenever you're ready—but you need to be initiated into the pack by a ceremony."

"The pack? Why would there be a ceremony for that?" The hell if I'm going through some weird ass werewolf ceremony that probably has a lot to do with them sniffing my armpits or something.

Why did I put that image in my head.

He shrugs. "Why not."

I'm gonna ignore that his answer matched my thoughts better than my question.

"So what does this ceremony entail?" Watch, I bet they're all gonna smell me.

"Well..."he glances as me nervously. "For starters, I'll be naked."

"WHAT!"

"And they can only take place during a lunar eclipse because that's when the bond can be felt to its full extent."

"What bond? The mate bond?? Why? And why do you have to be NAKED?" I screech, still hung up on that detail.

"The mate bond, and because it's tradition." He says this like its the most normal and obvious thing in the world.

"Being naked is a tradition?!?"

Paying no mind to this, he continues. "Only when the earths shadow has completely encompassed the moon can you dip your hand in blood-"

"WHAT!"

"Virgin's blood," he adds this casually as if I asked.

"Where do we get the virgin's blood?!?" MY HEAD IS GONNA EXPLODE.

"Then, with your hand covered in blood, you place it over my heart and say the vows."

"Oh god." I feel a migraine coming on. I don't want to know what the stupid vows are but I ask anyway, too horrified at this point to stop listening now.

Namjoon answers immediately and with confidence cause apparently this is all day to day, average happenings here.

"I do so solemnly swear by the kingdoms of old and new, by the lives of my mate and I, by the gods, Jupiter and Saturn, by the Luna's light and the moon and sun and stars, I, Y/n lay down my heart and soul-"

"You're making this up."

Namjoon stops and we both stare at each other for a long stretch of silence. Eventually he cracks and busts out into hysterical laughter. I try not to join him but the stupidity of the fake ceremony gets me to chuckling anyway.

I'm just glad it was fake and voice my relief.

"Only the vows were made up." Namjoon says, straight-faced.

"WhatEVER." I roll my eyes, knowing he's faking it again. "I'm not dipping my hand in virgin's blood while you-" laughter bubbles out of me, making the words hard to get out. "While you-" I double over, clutching at my stomach, "are naked-" the last part comes out in a squeak and I can't speak anymore, only laugh at the ridiculousness I'm imagining.

Namjoon joins me soon after and before long he's crying laughing while I'm struggling to breathe.

Spending so much time together turns me into a deep thinker and has Namjoon conjuring up the most insane scenarios to present to me as truth. I've definitely been a bad influence.

After some time, our laughter has subsided into the occasional giggle as we observe his friends and mine now immersed in what appears to be a very childish and somewhat uncomfortable sand fight. Hoseok scrubs sand into Jimin's hair, then screams bloody murder while running away, only to trip and then be subjected to handfuls of it being thrown under his shirt. Eun-ji throws sand down In-Guk's pants, while Jungkook scoops up a huge amount of wet sand and flings it onto Taehyung's back. They all oo and ah over how painful the wet sand is and so begins a new fight between the guys, this time to see who can hurt each other the most.

I don't understand boys.

During all this, Jin is still buried and is screaming at them to get him out. Eventually my friends go to help while the chaos continues.

Meaning, everyone is preoccupied. Now. Now is a good time.

"Namjoon-ie." God, he's beautiful. That blond hair. The little sparkles in his eyes when he laughs. The way his entire face softens when he looks at me. My throat feels dry when our gazes interlock, his head cocked slightly in question. Say it. Say it now. "I lo-"

"Noona!"

MOTHER FUCKING JUNGKOOK-

"Noona, help!" Exasperated, I look over my shoulder to see a now free Jin chasing all of them with a giant sized bucket of wet sand (Where did he get that from?) and a terrified Jungkook running to me for protection. Why me?

"Here, Kookie, hide behind us." Dad Namjoon invites him over and covers him with his jacket before bringing his attention back to me. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

Should I...say it anyway? I glance from the covered Jungkook to the enraged, sand wielding Jin (just now catching Hoseok), to the image of Taehyung who has run so far down the beach he's become a tiny dot.

Whatever. I don't care who hears me say it.

"I was saying that I-"

"Noona!"

Why.

This time it's Ji-ho, looking deceptively cute in a pair of floaties and swim trunks. I force a smile and ask Uncle, who stands by his side, "he's swimming? Isn't it still too cold?" Not that I care if Ji-ho is uncomfortable.

"He's just dipping his feet in." Uncle's hand pats the top of his son's head, while said son looks up at him with a red face.

Oh lord here we go.

"No! I wanna swim!"

"Ji-ho," Uncle begins to placate, only for my cousin to drop to the ground and start thrashing around and screaming like he's undergoing an exorcism.

I wish he would.

"Well, I'm gonna head out..." My voice is indifferent as I stand and dust my pants off, but really I'm dying a quick death of humiliation. Namjoon and Jungkook both scramble to follow, staring at my family in horror.

And why wouldn't they? THIS ISN'T NORMAL.

Namjoon's son might interrupt me every time I try to say something important and be low-key evil but at least he doesn't give me the urge to chop my own head off.

"JEON JUNGKOOK!" Jin's voice somehow roars over all else, and when I look over to see a wild eyed Seok-jin sprinting towards us, brandishing a bucket overflowing with sand, I book it the fuck out of there. Namjoon, naturally, attempts to protect Jungkook and ends up with half of the sand on himself instead.

I'm trying not to laugh at his expense, when the universe decides that it, once again, hates me, and this GIANT ASS BEE makes an appearance, diving straight for my head.

There isn't a lot that scares me.

But bees. Well, lets just say they can go die. I don't care how important to the environment they are. The environment can go fuck itself. Anyone who likes bees? You can go do that too.

In the most unflattering way imaginable, I scream like I'm dying and flap around like a fish out of water. It all happens in slow motion. There's that stupid bee. I swear its the size of my fucking HEAD. We make eye contact. I CAN SEE IT'S EYES THAT'S HOW BIG IT IS! The flapping of it's wings and that spine-chilling sound of buzzing overtakes my senses until that's all that exists in the universe. Me, and the bee, staring at one another at the edge of a great precipice. It's me or this bee. Only one of us is making it out of here alive today.

It dives for me and that's when I see it. My entire life, flashing before my eyes. Mom. She always smelled like chocolate chip cookies. That stupid ‪Justin Bieber‬ phase I went through. My first kiss in a game of truth or dare. That time I accidentally sat on Namjoon's hand and the three days afterward when were too shy to even look at each other. Taehyung saying 'Hyung!' a billion and one times. The one thing I wanted to say and never got to thanks to a certain someone.

I don't know what makes me say it. For a second, I don't realize that it's come out of my mouth. I'm scared, and on the brink of death, and thinking of all these things and the one person I call for help is....

"JUNGKOOK!"

The maknae instantly springs to my defense—though he's laughing while doing so. He swats at the offending insect but this seems to anger it.

Again with the life flashing at the precipice and the overactive imagination as the stupid bee flies right back in our direction.

When I chance a glance at my surroundings, it's to see that Ji-ho has decided that since Uncle looked away for two point zero seconds, he would run straight for the ocean. Uncle is racing behind him screaming, "JIIII-HOOOO!" Jin, In-guk, and Eun-ji are laughing, (at me) a sand drenched Jimin and Hoseok are running over to see what's going on, and Namjoon (the one face I want to see before I die) looks downright...hurt. WHAT? WHY? WHO DID IT?

Jungkook—still laughing—is doing a piss poor job at protecting me, because by the time I've finished taking inventory of everyone at the beach, I feel a sharp sting on my chest.

The stupid bee stung me on my boob because it's a PERVERT.

All I wanted to do was say I love you. Why. WHY?

"Noona!"

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Edited 6/3/22