《Brains and Brawn (BxB)》Chapter 26
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Leo's POV:
Everything sucks. Not being able to call Matt mine is worst than I ever thought was possible. It's been a week now since we broke up, and I have been going through some serious withdrawl. Matt is like a drug and I need him, more than I need a lot of things.
By now, everyone in school knows we're broken up, or at least suspect it, seeing as I've been getting flirted with again. And I do not enjoy it. I can't even think about finding someone else attractive because the only thing in my mind are Matt's eyes. Those brown eyes of his that hold so much love for everything and everyone even when the universe may not have been the kindest to him. But God, do I love him.
He's so cute and hot at the same time which is really unnerving because it makes it really hard to concentrate when he's around. He's not short, at all, I'm just really tall, but I like that he's shorter than me, I like to have him in my arms, he just fits there so perfectly. And I like to rest my head on his hea when we hug, because his hair is great. So fluffly and slightly curly an smells like peaches, which now that I think about is weirdly adorable. And he's not lanky, at all, fram from it, which is strange because he doesn't exercise all that much, but that makes me a little jealous 'cause I work out like Hell to keep in shape and then here he goes with a gorgeous body without effort.
Man , I miss him.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by my phone ringing.
I't's not Matt, I know it's not Matt, but still, every time it rings I jump for it like there's no tomorrow, for that very slight chance that it might be him.
But, like I thought, it's not him. It's just fucking Laurel, who kept texting and calling me, even when I was dating Matt. I tried blocking her number, but seems she just got a new one, so I guess it's hopeless.
God, seriously, can she not take a hint? I ignore her in school, I try rejecting her carefully as to not be too harsh towards her, I don't answer her texts or calls, or even her fucking nudes when it comes to extremes (honestly, I try to not even look at them, and then immediately erase them), but still, she just doesn't know when to give up.
"Leonardo! Cena!" My mom calls from downstairs, letting me know that dinner is ready.
I'm going downstairs when the front door opens and my dad walks in, suit an tie and all business-like, probably tired from another day at his boring ass job full of blood and organs. He's a doctor, just to clear out, not an assassin or something.
I don't hate my dad, not even close. We just can't seem to see eye-to-eye, seeing as he wants me to be a full time football player an I want to be an artist. But he doesn't seem to believe that that's a good carrer because he says he won't pay for my college tuiton if I decide to follow my dream, so I have to work my ass off to get a scholarship and be good enough to get into the college of my dreams.
But I know he loves us and that he just wants what's best for us, but he refuses to believe that for me, it's art. But I believe his heart is in the right place, so I don't usually talk with him that much, knowing that the subject of conversation relating to college will come up and I'm not always looking for an argument.
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We all sit down at the table and start eating. Cat and Liam are here today, seeing as it's Sunday and they usually visit us on the weekends, an sometimes even more often. They live close by. Soemtimes is not that fun. I was looking forward to not having her annoying self around all the time. But alas, we can't always have what we want.
"So, Leo, how's Matt, you should invite him over to dinner sometime again," to my surprise, it's my dad who suggests it. I know he isn't homophobic or anything like that, but it still feels weird that he wants my boyfriend to visit. Oh, ex-boyfriend. That's gonna take some getting used to.
"He won't be visiting so soon," I answer. Well, I was gonna have to come clean about it sooner or later, I can't hide it forever.
"What? Why? What happened," Cat asks, my mom noding along, agreeing with her.
"We broke up. Well, he broke up with me, but...you know..." I answer quickly, not really wanting to talk about it all that much.
"What did you do?!" My mom asks a little mad. Seriously, I am hurt. I mean, I know she loves Matt, she makes sure I know that, but sometimes I feel like she loves him more than she loves me. I would be jealous too if wasn't for the fact that I love too much.
"Nothing! He just seemed to remember that I'm older than him and that next year I'm going to college, an he's afraid I'm gonna break up with him or find soemone better or something, even though I tried to convince and reassure him that it won't happen. But he's scare and I get that, but I just wish he wouldn't cut me off just like that..." I finish with a frown. I kina feel like crying and that's defenitely a feeling I'm not used to, I never cry. But right now, I really want to.
"Oh," my mom says interrupting my thoughts. "That's why you've been moping around and in a bad mood lately. Well, don't give up then. If that's the reason then he's just scared, make him realise that there's nothing to be scared of, don't just give up on him."
"I wasn't planning on it."
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School without Matt sucks. Well, school in itself sucks, but I think I've become too dependant on Leo, an I feel like he made things better just by looking in my direction.
"Man, seriously stop scowling and go do something about your man!" Jackson says. "Seriously that kicked puppy look does not look good on you! And I thought it was bad before you started dating. This is much worse."
"Shut up, jackass," I say and push him, making him stumble back a little and bum against someone. The thing that gives away that person is the hair, which is a bright purple color, making me positive it's just Harry.
"Ok, wow, I just came here to tell Leo man up and do something about Matt, yes I know what happened, he told me, and I had the intention of kicking your ass, but let's be real, it wouldn't be a fair fight," Harry says, gesturing a lot with his hands. "I would obviously win. My charm and good looks would knock you down unconscious in a matter of seconds. Also, there's just wayyy too much testosterone here for me to handle. So I'll be going." And with that he leaves, but not before winking at Carter and touching his bicep not so secretly. That's another new thing going on, Carter an Harry, it's weird but it just fits, it simply looks right.
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What Harry doesn't seem to know though, is that I did do something for Matt. I woke up extra early today and bought him a flower along with one of his favourite chocolates, a twix, and left him a note saying, "A white tulip: they symbolize warmth, beauty and new beginnings. You were a new beginning for me Matt, a breath of fresh air. Not to mention you're also beautiful and incredibly warm. Love, Leo."
"Hey boys!" Jessie greets us and leans up to peck Jackson on the lips. "What are we doing all brooding here like weirdos?"
"Actually," Jackson says matter-of-factly. "Leo is the one brooding, he just seems to put everyone in a bad mood nowadays with his scowls."
This time I don't push him, I simply punch him in the arm and glare at him.
"Oh I get what this is. Matt, huh? Break ups are always a pain in the ass," Jessie says, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "The important thing is to know when to give up and if to give up. If you're not ready to let him go, you gotta fight for him, man, show him how much he means to you."
"I did, just wait," I tell her and tell them to shup up when I see Matt approaching his locker. After our months of dating I started noticing his little routine and how the first thing he does when he gets to school is go to his locker, so that's why I'm here.
"This is creepy, we look like a bunch of stalkers, we're not even trying to be discreet," Carter says with the usual frown on his face.
No one makes a move to stop though, so I just watch Matt open his locker, who's combination I know (he knows mine too, just in case) and watch him taking out the flower and the chocolate and only then seems to notice the note.
I'm sweating an abnormal amount right now just from how nervous I am. But I guess that's acceptable.
The little smile on his lips when he reads the note doesn't go past me, but he seems to quckly recover and remind himself os something because the smile disappears just as soon as it appeared and then he puts the flower back in locker, but takes the note and the chocolate, so all hope isn't dead. Yet.
"Aww," Jessie gushes with her hands on her chest where her heart supposedly is. "You gave him flowers, a chocolate and a note? That's so cute!"
"Yeah man, stop! You're setting the standards up too high!" Jackson complains.
Jessie looks like she was about to say something, but is cut off by the annoying sound of the bell signaling the beggining of another day, so she just rolls her eyes, kisses Jackson and leaves.
After a few seconds, so do we.
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"Ok, I take back what I said before. What you did for Matt was absolutely adorable."
Is the first thing Harry says when he gets to our lunch table.
After the break up we stopped having lunch with them, obviously, I don't want Matt to be uncomfortable in any way.
"Maybe try and talk to him, make him see things from your point of view," Harry continues.
So that's what I decide to do. I take the little push of courage I have and twhat Harry said too and make my way to Matt's table.
At least that's where I was planning on going, because halfway through I find my path blocked by none other than Laurel.
Fucking Christ, can't she just leave me alone?
"What do you want, Laurel?" I ask with an exasperated sigh.
"I want you. As you probably know already. Did you change phone numbers, 'cause there's no way you're not answering my calls willingly and now that you broke up with the loser over there it is only a matter of time before you come running off to me," she says with a snobby tone in her voice.
That snapped something in me, no one calls my Matt a loser,"Actually, it was willing, I don't like you Laurel, I never did, and I tried to be nice, but you don't seem to get it. Matt is not the loser here, you are , you are just a bitch who thinks the only way of getting attention is by spreading her legs and that's why you're jealous of Matt, because he's 10 times a better person than you. So next time, try being a better person instead of a bitch."
Ok, so maybe that a was harsh. But I've had it with her. She flirts with me in front of Matt, even when she knew we were dating, she keeps calling me and sending unsoliceted nudes and let's not forget the little stunt she pulled at the party. I have had it with her, that's for sure.
When I finally, finally, get to Matt's table, John, Macy and Ethan notice me before Harry and Matt do, seeing as their backs are towards me, so I tap Matt on the shoulder to get his attention.
When he turns around to face me I ask, "Hey, can we talk? Please?"
Matt seems to think about it before nodding relunctantly.
I understand, I'm always a bit unsure when it comes to him too. It's like a constant fear of fucking up and having him break up with me and even when I'm always aware of my actions around him and seem to think things through more often than not, I'm more me with him than anyone else.
"Matt, I miss you. I need you back," is the first thing I say once we get inside a deserted classroom.
"Leo, I know. Trust me I do. I miss you, too. So, so much. But I broke things between us for a reason. Loosing you know was painful, I can't imagine just how much more painful it will be in the future. It's for the best," he answers, never quite meeting my eyes an fiddling with his fingers as if looking for something to keep his hands occupied. That's how I know that at least part of that statement is a lie. That's his tell. The fumbling fingers. I don't think he even realises he does it.
"Matthew," I say and only then does he meet my eyes. How much I love those eyes. Well, I love everything about him. His eyes, his fluffy, slightly curly chocolate brown hair. His little nose, that never seems big enough to hold his glasses, his amazingly soft lips, that make me want to kiss him everythime I look at them, the little beauty mark above it and his neck. Man, I love his neck and he seems to love it when I kiss him there too, because the sounds he made were sinful. I wanna kiss it again so badly."I'm still in love with you."
He seems to be holding back tears, but this time he doesn't break eye contact when he answers, "I'm still in love with you, too. I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. But that won't change my mind."
And with that, he leaves the classroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
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Three weeks. It's been three weeks of me trying to impress Matt.Of the little surprises I'd give him from little drawings of random things I saw and would leave in his locker notes I'd give him, of trying to talk to him and convince him to take me back. But it's like Jessie said, I should know when to give up.
And it's time I think of Matt, too. This is what he wants. And I want him to be happy.
So I should let him go.
And that's exactly what I do.
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