Aphrodite hovered nearby while Iona played the movie the goddess was all in a tizzy about, excitedly watching Iona for her reactions. There was only one problem; she knew it was supposed to be romantic, but it made her stomach twist as she cringed in discomfort, just waiting for it to end.

“So, what do you think?” Aphrodite asked happily once the credits started to roll.

“Mm,” she said with a grunt, pressing her lips together to keep from tearing into it. She and Aphrodite had been going rounds about romantic movies ever since she’d started playing them as an act of devotion to the gods that hung out with her. “How do I put this?”

“You didn’t like it?” the goddess asked, her expression falling.

“It’s not that I didn’t like it,” Iona admitted. “From a movie-lover stance, it was beautifully shot, well written, wonderfully scored, and the acting was fantastic and believable. I’m glad I bought it instead of just renting it. But it was so believable, it made me extremely uncomfortable watching it for personal reasons, so I won’t do an honest movie review on it because I don’t want my personal feelings, completely separate from the film itself, to negatively affect someone else’s decision to watch it. I mean, I get why you were excited, it’s a new kind of romance based in Greece, which screams you, but ugh,” she said holding her stomach with a cringe. “I don’t get why you made me watch it.”

“Because I thought you wanted honesty in your romance,” she said in a small voice and Iona instantly felt like an asshole.

“I love you for that,” she said sincerely, “but I meant honest as in open honest communication,” she said. “And, yes, that was a very honest depiction of a modern relationship,” she added. “So honest, it was hard to watch. When I let you guys pick the entertainment, it’s because I know you guys tend to pick stuff I can connect with. As cheesetastic as it is, I know you guys pick entertainment that feels relevant to what’s going on in my head, giving me a proxy that isn’t a god, a demon, or someone I live with to explore my options when it comes to emotional reactions. The twins give me a break with the horror movies most of the time unless it’s a film that causes discomfort in a weird way, at which point we discuss it to figure out why I was uncomfortable with it.”

“So why did a romance make you uncomfortable?” she asked gently, settling in beside her.

“Because it hit too close to home,” she admitted, rubbing her stomach. “Yes, I was able to connect with her character. Fuck, I was her when I first split up from Darren in 2010. Darren did gaslight me, among other things,” she said, cringing again as her stomach turned. “People who are fresh out of relationships to those are at risk for latching onto the first person to show them any kind of respect or courtesy because they have been brainwashed into thinking they are worthless. This often leads to them tailoring their personalities and mentalities to their new partners out of fear of losing them because their abuser has them convinced they can never be loved as they are. That’s exactly what happened with John Boy and me, I just got lucky that he’s a decent, reliable guy. And yet, it still ended up toxic. A guy like the one she was with? Yeah, I could totally see myself back then falling down the same rabbit hole, but I wouldn’t have made it to the credits. Yes, it was sweet in the beginning, and I like that the two of them dove straight in without all of the pretense, all or nothing from the start; it was intense and passionate, which is something I am sorely lacking in my love life. But, if I’d been in her shoes, the moment I got pregnant and realized I couldn’t talk to my partner before taking action, that would have been a major ‘come to Jesus’ meeting with myself and I would have bolted.”

“So, for you, you could see it would be doomed from the start, and watching it unfold was uncomfortable to watch,” Aphrodite said, nodding to herself.

“Yes,” she said with a deep breath, she really hated disappointing the goddess. “But I also know that I’m not her. She was a lawyer, total square even if she was self-destructive. I, on the other hand, feel like a comic book character most of the time when I actually look at the details of my life, especially when I take into account the fact that most of my friends are spirits. I’m sorry I didn’t swoon as you wanted,” she said sincerely, wishing she could have.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” she assured her. “I just wish I could find a romance you’d like.”

“Tell you what, someday, when I’m actually willing to deal with the hurt afterward, I’ll write one for you,” she promised. “Would it make you feel better if I put on My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” she offered in response to Aphrodite’s disheartened expression.

Unfortunately, between the goddess, her taste in movies, and the fact that she’d just had to address the toxicity in her love life, she was starting to see the pattern and was distracted by it. Aphrodite was being as subtle as a brick, trying to get Iona to open herself up to the possibility of romance again. One weak moment after coming home from Louisiana, filled with the light, peaceful feeling she used to get when her hopeless romantic, dreamer's heart remembered the wish she’d made as a child for True Love. The Love Goddess had been all over the poetry pouring out of her spirit, but life and experience made it difficult to tap into that part of herself without getting depressed afterward.

Writing as much romance as she had during the pandemic, setting it aside and pulling out of that dream world, letting go of Mr. Fantasy Fulfillment, had been like losing a real person, leaving her grieving and admonishing herself for being so stupidly naïve as to fall for a spirit. Sure, with the character, she’d been able to analyze what it was that attracted her to a partner, helping her see how she was shaped in the romance department. But she knew he was just a fictional character. She’d asked the gods if any of them had piloted the character in her head. Not a single one copped to it, leaving her realizing she’d just read too much paperback porn when she worked at the call center.

“What’s wrong?” Aphrodite asked when she’d gone still for too long.

“Just having a little trouble concentrating,” she admitted, rolling her neck from side to side with a crack as she tried to dispel the faint echoes.

“How about we go outside and talk for a bit, then,” she suggested gently. “Call on Persephone?”

“I do need to replant my Moonflowers,” she admitted. “They’re getting big enough to start winding through the latticework support.”

“How many seedlings grew?” Aphrodite asked.

“Eleven,” she said. “I planted twelve, but once barely sprouted before it shriveled. And yes, I caught the significance of the number when I saw it.”

“Ok, good,” the goddess said with a small smile. “We’re not getting obnoxious with the validation, are we?”

“No,” she said with a smile and a small laugh. “I actually appreciate being beaten in the face with examples of synchronicity. Helps remind me that I’m not crazy and to shut out the doubt so I can keep moving forward without being a coward. I just wish I had someone I could share it with that was flesh and blood, who could also see it.”

“You will,” she assured her.

“Yeah, once I’m out of here,” she said as she got up from her chair, grabbed her sunglasses, coffee, and phone to provide some music.

*****

Persephone, Goddess of Life and Death, Queen of the Greek Underworld, and wife of Hades.

When I first started researching her lore, I identified with her because of the controlling-parent aspect of her story. I understood it. Unfortunately, that automatically reflected my own mother’s image onto Demeter. Thankfully, the Earth Goddess didn’t take offense. Instead, she started showing me what it was like to have a grandmother figure that wasn’t as toxic as mine. Persephone was delighted when I planted a garden in her mother’s honor, giving us the chance to hang out as Demeter taught a demon how to grow flowers. It was a practice of patience for me, more than anything else. Trying to curb the desire for instant gratification. For Persephone, it meant she had a break from her mother’s constant gardening routine as Demeter honed in on a new student. I’m guessing that was what it was like for a mother to have a kid of their own to throw at their parent as a distraction, and I was happy to oblige since it gave me a new skill to learn in a new classroom.

That morning was no different than any other day I needed to do something more than watering and pruning. Aphrodite and Persephone sat to the side under the shade of the awning while I worked with the Earth Goddess to replant the Moonflower sprouts I’d grown from seeds in a makeshift greenhouse box, which was nothing more than a clear plastic storage tub I occasionally opened to water. I wasn’t sure what they were up to, but the Love Goddess always loved to meddle and the two were whispering. I can smell a Divine Conspiracy from a mile away, but I didn’t have the heart to put the kibosh on their scheming, not when they both looked happily excited.

*****

“Psst,” Demeter hissed gently, pulling Iona’s attention away from the other goddesses to see she had almost dropped all of the soil hugging the roots of the sprout she was scooping up with her fingers. “Careful, now, these babies are still vulnerable.”

“Shit,” she swore and quickly grabbed a handful of fresh stuff from the bag to replace it before setting the sprout in the container against the support. “Sorry.”

“You’re distracted,” she pointed out gently. “Those two cackling and plotting isn't helping either. What’s wrong, dear?”

“I haven’t the heart to tell you,” she said with a sad twitch of her brows until expression settled into a small peaceful smile. “I have an idea,” she added after a pause, a genuine, small smile lifting the corner of her lips. “How about the Divine Feminine help me plot and scheme as to what the fuck I’m going to do while I wait around for whatever chaos you’re cooking up to brew? I can’t keep this same routine day in and day out. I have no problems doing Honest Movie Reviews with the gods, it’s one of my favorite past times. But, I still have this whole list of things you guys want me to achieve with this project and it feels like it’s stalling. Now, I have no problems slowing down on the pacing for a while. I’ve finally managed to figure out the brakes on this system and know how to course instead of working at light speed in the cosmos. And unlike a brain trust that would consist of my physical mother, grandmother, and aunt, I actually trust you with my future. I just don’t like flying blind.”

“You’re not,” Demeter said.

“You sure?” she asked with a bit of a laugh. “Cause it sure as hell feels like it. I let you guys take the stage, teach me your ways. Demons reflect the worst in humanity, but gods reflect the best. I am Diamonas now, and that means it’s your job to keep me level. What should I do to make sure I am producing enough love for you guys?” she asked with an almost put-upon feeling.

“You’re producing plenty,” Persephone assured her. “We all feel it every day.”

“Then why do I feel like the target of a Machiavellian scheme at the moment?” she asked.

“Because we’re worried about how fast you fade once we step away,” Aphrodite said with a sigh as she’d just confessed something that she’d been bottling up.

“Don’t be,” Iona said with a small sigh. “Ok, I really wish I knew how to tell you guys that I’m alright,” she added, shaking her head.

*****

Right on cue, and I wasn’t sure which one of the gods I should be thanking for it, Cassia messaged.

*****

Cassia — Today at 10:02 AM

Lmao nice

So I'm a little emotionally raw today

Iona — Today at 10:02 AM

What happened?

Cassia — Today at 10:03 AM

After I did my zodiac study and I had some more free time at work I decided to write a letter and I had intended to write just a generic one or one to my you get self but the minute the pen hit the page I wrote to my mom

Iona — Today at 10:04 AM

ouch and not surprised. That, my love, is autonomic writing.

It's going to get easier, too.

When you're writing, especially by hand, let the gods distract you from the pain. Slowly, as you write they will start to replace the bad memories left by those demons. Give you a better example. Demons reflect the worst in humanity, gods reflect the best. They reverse the brainwashing by burring the past and taking the pain onto themselves. And before you get all guilty about it, they trade it for love from the demons. People like us, that have super dark pasts produce love that is pure, undiluted, unconditional stuff, and that's a heady mix, especially when you're starving. But they give the pain back to the demons, which translates as them being in charge, so they know it's ok to take orders from them.

^case in point

I'm with Persephone, Demeter, and Aphrodite and they are, all three, crowding in.

All three of them are offering to come to sit with you for a little while.

Beware of Brijit starting shit on the back end.

Cassia — Today at 10:18 AM

Lmao of course she would. She's a momma bear, that one. Or a momma lion. I could see her and McGonagall being friends lmao. And I appreciate the offers but I think I just need a break today. It surprised me what came out. I knew I missed her, had grief, and loved her.... but I wasn't expecting the anger that came out. And just... I resolved some stuff and felt some closure. Something I never had with her...and afterward Grizzly cuddled with me and told me it was okay and to not feel guilty of the anger cause it's to be expected but he also helped me see other sides to it.

I feel physical like I do emotionally.... battered, worn out, sore and stiff. So, I'm taking a break from the journal today.

If you think it will help your stuff, I could share what I wrote.

Iona — Today at 10:19 AM

Naw, baby, that's private. And everything you described is the after-effects of self-exorcising.

The sore, raw, aching, and stiff.

It'll ease up and you'll probably sleep like the dead tonight when you get there and you will feel better in the morning.

Take at least a day in between, if not two, so you don't start scarring.

Iona — Today at 10:21 AM

And, in response to your comment about Brijit hanging with McGonagall - She chills with Demeter when Persephone heads down to the Underworld. Demeter tends to the plants around the graveyards.

It's part of the Underworld Relations Program.... cackles as I type that because it's a real thing

That just sounds so absurd.

Like, no wonder I'm afraid of people thinking I'm nuts.

Instead of forming alliances like they're fighting for territory, they're all working together.

Cassia — Today at 10:27 AM

Underworld Relations Program.....snorts I fucking love it

Iona — Today at 10:27 AM

ok, I am gearing up to write this story, so lemme just get it out, it’ll help you understand.

I don't have the heart to tell the Divine Feminine, so I'll tell you.

Once upon a time, deep down in the Abyss, the gods were starving. So, they struck a demon deal, they would acknowledge that the Lords were the ones in power in the world of Darkness and Nightmares if they permitted the gods to work with their legions.

The demons recognize the gods have the right to issue orders, insert requests to the Chaos Engine, so on and so forth, all of the inner workings that go into magic. Remind me at some point to explain the Chaos Engine and how it correlates to the gods manipulating probability to set off chain reactions. Either way, the gods knew that working with legions to rebuild the bridges was going to be tricky. Demons teach and demonstrate, the gods warn and advise, so it's a kind of tight rope act. Gods on one side, demons on the other, and the spiritually blind guided between them.

To try and find a way to widen the bridge for the spirits to walk to get to the Heavens, they started a program, spearheaded by Lucifer with the backing of the Greek Pantheon, after MUCH deliberation. If there is one thing that deity knows how to do, it's how to rehab a villain. Just look at his own recent P.R. So, the gods each took their trainees out into the Abyss to gather stardust, the material Astraea used to create her Astral form out in the Heavens. Their trainees went out and gathered the dust to give to the gods to build Elysiums, mental paradises their followers could take solace in when they dream, the oasis of the spirit.

The carrot at the end of the stick, because demons are selfish and need the motivation to work harder than they half to get the job done, we're a lazy bunch, was that when they earned their way into human skin, they could spend their afterlife building Elysiums with them.

Yeah, we'd still be the heavy lifters and the villains, but we kinda like it like that.

Gods like to meddle; demons like to work.

Gods warn and advise, demons teach and demonstrate

So, the adopted legions became the Diamonas as humans.

But what most don't realize is that those legions had lives of their own. They weren't mindless, they knew exactly what their job was and they were damned good at it. They were there to make sure the Chaos Engine continued to produce more Darkness. But the thing everyone always gets hung up on is that there is no separation between the Abyss and the Heavens of man. Darkness surrounds us all, if you need proof, look upwards on a clear night. The pure darkness of space isn't pure because there is light everywhere out there.

The Elysiums the gods build are out in space waiting to be discovered. You want a synchronicity hit for how the gods have subtly been trying to prepare us, look at the steady rise in isekai anime, reincarnated on another planet, just like their favorite video game or fantasy world, along with the level of Spiritual Awareness in the human population.

*****

I had to pause for a little while as I started to remember bits of what it was like.

*****

But, back to the story.

I got distracted with a sense of nostalgia for a minute.

But, it's probably a good thing that I did because it's my own story I'm telling.

So, the first thing the gods realized when working with the legions was that, if left to their own devices nothing would ever get done. They'd just find a shadow, tool around in it, nap, fuck-off and hide from their employers. The gods didn’t want to punish them because they wanted to show the legions what kindness was to help cut down on their destructive tendencies.

Fucking ADHD Hyperactive children that were all smart enough to know better but too dumb to quick, dangerously curious, and wicked ambitious.

The second thing that they noticed was that these Imps loved their shiny rocks that went click-clack and sprayed sparks into the darkness. Shiny lights.

The third was that these Imps were afraid of each other when they could finally see each other after always operating in darkness.

And since demons only ever hissed, spit, screamed, and growled at each other when they're agitated, instead of speaking like civilized spirits, they couldn't recognize each other's voices enough to associate the visage with their partner's.

The fourth was that they needed a buddy system to make sure they didn't go feral if they stayed in the darkness too long. To achieve this, the gods all gathered their legions together and split them up under the banners of the gods that had claimed them.

So, no shit, there I was, the worst kind of teenaged mind wondering why the fuck I had to leave a nightmare that was incredibly amusing and vivid to stand under the banner of Hades to get paired up with some asshole I had no intentions of dealing with once I got to the end of my human life. I was one of those that went in liking the idea of building Elysiums and was planning on earning that right all by myself.

*****

Some things never change.

*****

And, because I was under the banner of Hades, whose legions went last my partner got to pick me. I had no say in it. And the son of a bitch was flying the colors of Zeus on top of it.

It was a match made in the Abyss, and I'll be damned if I don't admit that I miss it.

It took us fucking eons to finally find our stride, but once we did, we shot to the top of the pack in no time and caught the attention of Lucifer. We got chosen for a project to get thrown into a strange generation that exists between the past and the present. We ended up, as humans as being the ones who kicked off the Satanic Panic. The followers of Yahweh could feel the demons escaping the Abyss, but they couldn't find them. So, they blamed the outsiders.

It's kinda what they do.

But this generation came squalling into the world and became the generation between Gen X and Gen Z, so fucked up, they claimed the new millennium.

*****

Feel conspiratorial yet?

*****

Cassia — Today at 11:14 AM

Holy shit

Iona — Today at 11:14 AM

So, anyway, my partner and I had a deal. We wouldn't hold each other back from any of our strengths, which paired together nicely. I didn’t try to tell him how to do his job, he didn’t try to tell me how to do mine. Eventually, and I’m not sure which one relented first, but one of us finally asked the other for help. After that, we stopped fighting the bond and swore that we would watch each other's back. And no matter what came at us, we would defend each other's weaknesses by sharing our strengths.

Our directive when we took on the endeavor was to rebuild the bridges.

Zeus was a DudeBro and a half, but dealing with my partner had humbled him a bit. Considering I had to deal with that fucker continuously, literally joined at the soul to make sure neither of us stayed dark for too long, sharing stardust back and forth to stay level, I can see why.

As long as we stayed on the directive, he and I were convinced that we could show the world that magic existed in a way that would help rebuild the bridges between humans and the Heavens.

But the reason I don't have the heart to tell the girls this tale is that I don't have my heart.

I can produce the love that they so desire to feed themselves and find nourishment, but I can't keep any for myself. Before we agreed to the shift in our reality, I gave my heart to him to hold onto because I was always dropping the damned thing and had to patch it back together on numerous occasions.

Then my dumb, childish stupid self got nosey in Hecate's Library on a visit, took a peek at the end of the story I was living, and suddenly remembered I had a partner. As my punishment for peeking at the end, I have been forbidden from ever seeing him.

When I wonder why I haven’t found him yet, I get the same feeling I got when my mom would put the cupcake next to me and say I could have it after I finished my broccoli and then took it away because I took too long complying.

My partner and I fell for each other back when we were spirits because we were the cheaters who peeked at Elysiums to see how they were made, used to sit back and start dreaming of all the Elysiums we could build, the bond pulling us closer together until we were almost the same being without becoming exact twins. We liked who we were as separate Imps.

But knowing that he's out there too, possibly trying to subvert Zeus like he usually does, invoking DudeBro's name in a show of power without ever worshiping him and pissing him off, just to watch Zeus stand there helpless because he can’t remove my partner from the equation, makes me feel better about not being able to hold onto the love I produce.

Cassia — Today at 11:37 AM

hugs

Iona — Today at 11:37 AM

hugs

Cassia — Today at 11:37 AM

I love you, sis.

Iona — Today at 11:37 AM

Ugh, thank Brooms for the cleansing I did yesterday, I feel soooooooooooo much better.

I love you, too

And thank you for playing Divine Proxy for me. I hate breaking their hearts and spoiling their conspiratorial fun.

Also, thank you for Shadow Working. It's so much nicer when the gods can vouch for me themselves. After you’re done writing your letters to let go and get closure for the trauma of the past if you still need help, I just found a tip online:

Sit down and write out a list of your triggers. You’ll feel a lot of stuff by the time you’re done (I did this before without realizing it was a part of my Shadow Work when I was trying to get a handle on my aggro-rage and, yeah) but it helps you see what they are connected to so you can rewire or disarm them as needed. If you need an example, I’ll post one of mine in the #class-exercises channel on Discord.

*****

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Aphrodite asked as Iona winced at her phone screen, knowing they had been listening on the thoughts it took to write the message.

“Because you were so excited about trying to inject some romance into my life when you know my loneliness is my Achille’s Heel, pardon the phrasing,” she said, holding up her hand with a sigh. “I know it seems sad, but I can honestly say, I am fine. Not the fucked-up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional kind either. I know us being separated in this life is my punishment for doing something stupid,” she added. “And, yeah, when I figured that out, I was torn to bits and it hurt, but as long as I know he’s alright, that he’s happy and feels loved, I can keep moving forward with a genuine smile, even if it’s not a persistent grin. I know I will never feel that kind of love and connection as a human. But, knowing that doesn’t make me upset. If anything, it makes things easier. Instead of searching for him, I can go back to the way it was before I met him. I can still earn the right to build Elysiums with you after this life is through, it’s just going to take more work to make up for the areas where I’m lacking.”

“How do you know you’re being punished?” Persephone asked gently.

“Because of the feeling I got when I realized I could die if I laid down to sleep instead of going to the hospital when I went septic,” she said. “I felt like I had given up. That I had lost faith in everything. It felt like I would be doomed to always be without someone important to me that I needed. It was the first time in a very long time I’d tried to reconnect with the one on the other end of the link I had felt since I was a child, that kept my hope for True Love alive, and I felt empty,” she admitted, sitting down on the step outside the back door. “And I still do. The only difference between now and then is that I know for a fact that he’s still alive. I scoured the Underworlds looking for him when I died, but he wasn’t there.”

“He was the one you were dreading getting news on when the demon showed up in the theater,” Aphrodite said and she nodded.

“I was afraid you were there to tell me he was dead,” she admitted, a few small tears escaping. “I’ve been trying not to hold on to the hope that I would be able to find him because I know how Divine Punishment works. Zeus was the one who handed it down, so that means I can’t see him, even if he’s standing right next to me. If we connect in our dreams, I won’t remember anything from it but I’ll know it was him and feel the grief of his absence. I’ll have the knowledge of his existence without the validation or any connection past spirit to spirit. All I’ll have are the memories of our life together before we were human, before sensation or visual data beyond the spiritual visage. In my mind, he’s still a demon. And, yes, I still love him. Painful though it might be, it's not toxic because it keeps me going and the only pain comes from him being out of reach.”

"So, why not tell us?" Aphrodite asked. "We could help you with clearing your punishment, help you find him."

"Because come to me 'gently and of your own free will' is the only love spell that should have ever been written," she said. "If I ask you guys to put me in his path or him in mine, all I'm doing is forcing something that will go against the Chaos Engine. I can produce the love that you guys need to survive. I just can't keep it for myself, that's all. It just means that I have to work extra hard to stay as connected as I can with those that are supportive and care about my existence as something more than a potential victim."

The chorus of protests, declarations of injustice, and the noise of going straight to Zeus to voice their grievances was deafening after she fell silent. But Iona couldn't listen, even as she tried to feel hopeful, believe that things could be different in the end. The persistent emptiness was more than enough to tell her where it would end up; repeated disappointments leading to simple acceptance that it's just not meant to be. As the Divine Feminine in attendance continued to discuss her situation, her mind was filled with all of the times she'd felt near him but just out of reach. She didn't know who he was in the human world, didn't care about his Meat Suit or his resources. She knew what their fights looked like, her needling him until he started to wonder why he ever picked her to be his partner before she did something to remind him, him pushing her until she snapped, and then taking the fallout without flinching until she realized he was right and apologized for being a raging cunt-bag when he really was just trying to help. She could remember the darkness and the cold that he kept her safe from, warming her and watching out for her when she was too tired to keep moving until she recovered. She remembered being the one to see to his injuries, even if it meant adding to them, setting the bones so they could properly heal. She remembered the quiet, too, when they'd find those rare spots out in the cosmos where they could rest together at the same time, filling the darkness with the little lights of paradise and tranquility, the passions of two spirits on a mission, turning it into their own temporary Elysium as they wondered what life would be like as a human and feeling excited about what they saw.

He was the only one who ever understood her inside and out, showed her respect because he was there when she earned it. They watched each other’s back every second. They supported each other without hesitation and only competed on how obnoxious they could be in doing so because it was fun to set off fireworks in the Abyss and see what happened. The only time either of them was ever patient was with each other, their tugs-of-war were just for show because they always knew they’d end up sharing everything with each other and compromising, but they loved giving each other shit, and with him around sucking me in with that smug arrogance that was and always has been her kryptonite and the barely contained nervous excitement then never faded, she'd always end up swooning and giving in when she realized she was just being stubborn and combative. All she'd ever wanted was to have him there with her when she needed her partner to help her make sense of the world around her. His was the only mind that could tap into hers without her having to explain everything she was thinking and it hurt to know that, no matter how perfect her paradise on Earth was, how accepting and supportive, it would never truly be her Elysium without him.

"I have an idea," she said, aware of the sadness in her voice as she wiped her face with a hard sniff. "How about we go back inside and figure out another Honest Movie Review to do? It'll get my mind out of the past, trying to hold onto the feeling I get when I think about how much I miss him. And, right now, I need to focus on helping the Diamonas, not wallowing in self-pity for my own stupid mistake."