《Chasing the Hurricane》Chapter 10: Living With Purpose
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“So are you sure you still want to go, Yrza?” Mother Marine, who has since come in and started listening, asks me this.
“Really, it was nice seeing you again,” I say, “but I have to keep going. My journey isn't quite over yet.”
“Yrza, what is this journey about?” As she asks, I see a sadness in Mother Marine's eyes. It's clear that she would rather not see me go again. I feel a bit guilty, to be honest. “You seem like you've found your purpose, why do you have to leave again?”
“Sorry. This might take a while.” I scratch my head, wondering where to start. “The day before my training was finally complete, Grandall died.”
“Oh...”
“I'm sorry to hear that, Yrza. So, is your quest due to some last request from him, or something?”
“Not exactly. I made Grandall a promise. I told him that I would prove that his teachings and him taking me in had meaning. So, to show meaning to this Empire's Corpse, I will find the meaning behind the greatest mystery, the Ghost Hurricane.”
Mother Marine and John both gasp.
“You're serious, aren't you!?” John shouted, unable to believe it.
“Serious as I've ever been about anything. I'm confident there's something to be found, and that there was a person connected to the Ghost Hurricane.”
“So, Yrza, you're going to the Old Capital to look for a clue, or something?” Mother Marine asks.
“I have a lead. A man called Walter has told me that Sir Agil of the Imperial Four is still said to be in the Old Capital, and he knows the truth about it all. I have to go talk to him.”
“Your mind's made up, isn't it?” John asks, disappointed, yet resigned.
“Yeah, I'm entirely set on this. Look, that guy, Walter, wanted to find meaning, too, you know? It was different from me, though. He wanted a big picture, cosmic truths. You, John,” I say, pointing, “you've got that for yourself, from the church, right? Me, I just...” I actually need to take a moment to think about it. I know how I feel, but putting it into words isn't so simple. “I want people to see that what happened wasn't just random chaos. Divine order or no, I want people to see that they shouldn't give up on living with some purpose... do you see what I mean?”
John seems to be thinking it over in his head.
“I understand what you're doing, Yrza,” Mother Marine finally says. “After all, you know well what the void of meaninglessness is like.” After saying that, she smiles. “What you're doing is very admirable, in its own way.”
“I mean, I do understand, but...” Trying to come up with the words, John sighs. “Yrza, I was kind of hoping this was something we could have done together.”
That should have been obvious to me, honestly. Even when we were kids, I probably could have seen that if I was really looking. “In a way, we're still a team, the way I see it.” John looks at me, seeming slightly confused, but still listening. “In the end, we want to see the Empire's Corpse move on from the all the damage caused by The Last Days and the Ghost Hurricane. That Walter fellow was after the same thing, in a way. We're going about it in different ways, but all of us want to bring meaning to peoples' lives again. You'd see them return to El Rey. Walter seems to want to look to older scriptures and philosophies. Lastly, I...” I think for a moment. “I don't know what to call it, yet. I just know I want people to start picking themselves up and moving forward again. We're never done learning. Grandall used to tell me that.”
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As if finally processing it all, a tear runs down from John's eye. “Yeah, you're right,” he says, nodding. “When you look at it that way, it'd be wrong for me to try and keep you here. Guess it always has been.”
“As always, Johnathan, remember,” Mother Marine says, putting a hand on John's shoulder. “You'll never lose Yrza as a friend, no matter how far he goes.”
Wiping away his tears, John nods again. “I understand.”
“I'm glad you do,” I say, with a smile. “Hopefully, the Empire's Corpse won't be so much of a corpse for much longer.”
“I certainly hope so,” John says. “Well, we've still got some time before the ship returns, I think, so...”
“Actually, I've been wondering, Yrza,” Mother Marine says, smirking, “Who are these two girls following you around? I wonder...”
“What!? It's not like that!” What an odd turn this conversation has taken.
“I just met him,” Fal says, pointing at me and slowly backing away.
“Ah, sorry, don't get the wrong idea,” Maria says, waving her hands in a panic. “We're also headed to the Old Capital, for our own reasons.” She looks at me, now. “Although...”
“Maria, what is it?”
“Nothing, it's nothing,” she says, giggling, and blushing a little.
“I want to investigate The Decay,” Fal says, suddenly. “I feel like the key might be at the Old Capital, where The Decay is the worst.”
“You're a Dark Rune Master, aren't you?” Asks Mother Marine.
“Yes. I hope you don't mind me being here.”
“So long as you're not here to hurt God's people.”
Fal holds her hands up. “No ill intentions whatsoever.”
“That's Fal, and I know she's not bad. Don't worry, Mother Marine.”
“Well,” John says, laughing a bit, “anyone Yrza will trust is someone I think I can trust, as well. Besides, if you really did figure out what might be causing The Decay, it'd be a great help to all of us. I wish you luck.”
Seeming unsure what to say, Fal just nods.
“And I'm Maria,” she says, smiling, still. “Maria Redwolf.”
“The Redwolf girl? Hmm...”
“Something wrong, Mother?” John asks.
“Hm, no, don't worry about it.”
“My father, Lord Redwolf, actually had me go to a Church of El Rey when I was younger. That's where I learned to read and write.”
“Interesting. I hadn't figured you for a sister,” John says.
“I'm not anymore. Eventually, father had me stop going. Actually, I'm out here because of something he asked of me.”
“Oh? What did he want you to do?”
“I'm going to the Old Capital to meet a Doctor Cook. He's working on a solution to the decay through his alchemy, and I was to deliver his payment.”
“I honestly don't know how I feel about sending your own child on such a dangerous journey for something like that,” John says, making a sour face.
“Well, father says he trusts no one else with it,” Maria says, seeming like she still feels a bit of doubt. “He's handling business with Wingsgrave, my brother, Chris, who usually makes this trip, is busy completing a special kind of sword training, and my mother is just a simple housewife.” She sighs. “The many people in his employ, he just doesn't trust to do it. It had to be me.”
“I see. Well, I guess that makes some sense. Still, though,” John says, scratching his chin.
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“I guess it's a good thing I ended up running into Yrza on my way,” she says, laughing again. “It would have been a lot more dangerous if I hadn't. Dangerous, and a lot more lonely, too.”
“I guess I'm happy you ended up coming this way, as well,” Mother Marine says. “It wouldn't have surprised me if Yrza would have taken a different route if not for having bumped into you and being guided in this direction. He would have gone on his big journey without stopping for us.”
“Mother Marine!”
She laughs. “I'm joking, it's only a joke.”
“Ugh...”
Mother Marine sighs. “Honestly, though, I'm glad you've decided to stop here and talk to us. I feel like you've made my day complete, having shown up like this.”
“I'm happy to see you again, too.”
“Yrza, Maria, Fal, I hope God shows you favor on your quest. The ship should be arriving sometime soon, and you should be allowed to board some time later. I hope we can meet again.” Saying that, Mother Marine walks away.
“I'll go down there and see you off, if you don't mind,” John says.
“We don't,” I say, looking to Maria and Fal for any objection, but there is none.
“Okay, then.” Saying this, John goes walking back to the dock. We follow him.
“You know, Yrza,” John says, “there's a part of me that's still sad to see you go.”
“Say, Johnathan,” Fal says, “Have you thought about going with Yrza? I don't think he'd mind if you joined us.”
“It would be nice, but...” John smiles again. Resigned, but now, truly at peace with this, “really, my duty is here, and I can't leave. It's too much for Mother Marine to handle all by herself, you know? I need to do my part, just like Yrza and the other man he met.” He looks at me again, a newfound determination in his eyes. “Surely, more lost souls will drift here, and I need to be here to help guide them. Yrza, you go on chasing your goal, okay? I will do what I must, but only because I have confidence that you're also accomplishing something.”
“Same to you, John,” I say, returning his strong gaze. “If I go out there and complete my mission, it won't mean anything if only a few find a new path because of it.”
“All aboard!” A voice from the ship shouts out. I hear a bell ringing from there, too.
“Well, Yrza,” John says, reaching out, “Guess this is goodbye, again.”
“Not forever, though,” I grab his hand, and shake it. “See you again, John.”
Maria, Fal, the speedscales and I get onto the big ship. I look back one last time.
“Farewell! Take care!” John is waving goodbye. I wave back as he starts to walk away.
“So long for now, my friend.”
Other people are getting on. The ship should be taking off, soon. For now, I guess all I can do is wait.
“Hm, this ship is really something interesting,” I say to the captain once they've got the ship going. “How are you guys moving it? I don't remember seeing an engine room, or anything.”
“Rune Complexes, young fella,” says the captain, taking the pipe out of his mouth. “Specifically, wind and water. We've hired some folks, two teams worth who can charge those, and switch them out with every trip.”
Come to think of it, a lot of the people getting on and off were people wearing the white uniform and hat of a sailor. So they're making the ship move, right now? Must take a lot of focus. “I never would have thought to apply Runic Arts like this.” More than anything else, I tend to be focused on how I can use it for a fight, or something. How ironic that I've only had to do that once, so far.
“Yeah, it is pretty fascinating, isn't it?” He says, grinning. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. Fast as this bad boy is, we won't be making it to our destination for quite a while.”
“I'll do that. Thanks again, captain.” Saying that, I start walking about the ship.
“Fal?”
When I see her again, she is staring out at the river, watching the world go by.
“You just looking around, too?” She asks.
“Pretty much,” I reply. I walk over, standing next to her, and take a look at the view, myself.
As the silence between us sets in, I start to take in the feeling of the wind blowing past me, the sounds of the ship rushing through the water. I see the sun starting to hide beyond the horizon, for the moon will soon take its place for the night.
“I was glad to learn more about you.”
Hearing Fal say that, I turn to face her. “It felt good to talk about it, honestly. I've always wanted to talk to someone about exactly what it is I'm trying to do out here.”
“Does it really make you feel better?” She asks with such sincerity that I have a hard time figuring out how to respond.
“I think of it this way,” I start, looking back out at the moving river and landscape. “I see my goals as... as this huge monument. I'm just a small human, though, and I can only see it from one angle. When other people get to see it, however, I can get a better idea of the 'shape', and it seems more and more like something I reach with my hands.”
“I see.”
More silence. Especially awkward, this time. I can't help but feel that we're both beating around the bush, in our own ways.
“And the sad things that happened?” Fal asks. “Did it help to talk about that, too?”
I'm a little caught off guard. The realization finally hits me; she hasn't had anyone to really talk about her feelings with. Lady Eiha, maybe, but it wouldn't surprise me if she had some difficulty opening up to her. I wasn't entirely comfortable around Eiha, myself.
“Well...” my eyes dart around, as if to search for the words. “For me, the sadness I carry with me are like weights. It's really heavy for just me, when I'm keeping it to myself, but then other people see it, help me carry it, and it lightens the load. Not just Maria, John, Mother, Walter... you, too, have been helping me carry it, just by listening.” Fal doesn't say anything, but when my eyes find her again, she's looking away. “It's no good for one person to handle all their sadness alone. They'll be crushed.”
“You think so?”
“I'm pretty confident.”
She looks at me for a moment, then looks away again. “I always held it in.”
“Hasn't that been hard?”
“I... I don't know if I should say.”
“Trust me, you aren't any weaker for admitting you've struggled if that's what happened. Even just starting my journey with no one to talk to was hard. If it's something you don't want to talk about, I think I can understand that, but...”
“You deserve to know about me.”
“Huh?”
Fal looks at me, her eyes cold and serious. “You and Maria have put your trust in me, a Dark Rune Master, and you haven't asked a single time where I came from before that, all the while letting me know who both of you are. Also, it would be unfair to have you reveal so much about yourself to me, only to get nothing in return. I will tell you my story.”
I find myself looking around again, not feeling very comfortable. “I've got mixed feelings about that logic, but if you want to tell me, I'm listening.”
“I know you'll listen,” Fal says. Maybe my eyes are mistaken, but I think she just smiled a bit. “Maybe that's why I feel you'd be the best to tell.”
“I'm not sure if I should be flattered by this, or not, to be honest with you.”
“Then don't worry about that too much, and just listen.”
In a way, I guess this is what I wanted. Might as well. “Okay. I'll hear your story.”
At this point, both of us are looking down at the river. I thought we might see our reflections in the water but it's now gotten a bit too dark to see them clearly.
“Okay, then. Where to start?”
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