The night before Grandall showed up was a night like any other, and yet, to this day, I still remember it clearly.

“How long do you think we're gonna be stuck here, John?”

Right after chores, just before bed, John and I were watching the stars.

“Here we go again with you talking about being 'stuck',” he said.

“What else would you call it?”

“Yrza, look around you,” John said, spreading his arms out. “I don't see any gates. Do you?”

I sighed. “You know what I mean.”

“And you get my point.” John sat back down. “Until we're old enough to not need any adults looking after us, this is our life. Might as well get as much out of it as we can.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”

As I complained, John made himself comfortable on the grass. He laid there and looked above. “Really, I don't see a problem with it.”

“Oh, yeah? Well I do.”

“I mean it, Yrza. There's plenty here for us. We have the younger ones to look after, and when we're older, Mother Marine will surely have more duties for us.”

“That's nice and all, but I just don't feel like I'm meant for that.”

Then John was the one that sighed. “God, I hate it when you talk like that.”

“How else do I say it, man? When I'm helping to keep the church clean, helping the little kids with their chores and all that, it's not bad or anything, but every day I look at what I've accomplished and I can feel it: 'this isn't it'.”

John scoffed at that. “Alright, then, what is 'it'? What are you looking for?”

“I don't even know, man.”

“If this is about you seeing your parents again, I'm gonna fall asleep out here.”

“Oh, shut up.” I looked away from the stars and started to look around at my surroundings. The Garrett River, which seemed to stretch on forever, and the endless landscape that followed along. “What's wrong with me holding on to a bit of hope that they're still out there?”

“Yrza, look, I'm your friend, so I promise you I don't mean this in a bad way, but let me remind you; Mother Marine found you with no memories in a pile of garbage. The way I see it, parents that were alive or cared wouldn't have let it be like that.”

“Why are you talking like they left me there on purpose? I could have gone over there.”

“You're missing my point, Yrza.” John sat up and looked me in the eyes as he said this. “What you're hoping for is like chasing after ghosts. We're right here, and happy you're with us. So why are you so focused on this?”

“I can't say, man, I just...” At the time, I struggled to come up with the words. “...I just 'feel' like there's definitely something else out there for me. Don't you feel anything like that?”

“Johnathan? Yrza? What are you still doing out there?” Mother Marine shouted from inside the church. “If you stay out too late, the beasts might come get you. Come inside.”

I stood up, and helped John off the ground. After I did so, he pointed to the church. “There. That's where I feel like I should be.”

“Damn, what a boring answer.”

“Seriously, Yrza. I've been outside. I didn't see anything I wanted. When Mother Marine brought me here, I was eventually sure that this is where I should be.”

“That's good for you, but what about me?”

“Yrza, Johnathan,” Mother Marine called again, “Hurry up.”

“I hope you figure it out someday.” With that, John went walking inside. I followed close behind.

A lot of nights were like that.

A lot of nights I would look up and hope I saw a purpose. It wasn't that I didn't like the Church of El Rey, or even disagreed with all the teachings. I just felt that something was missing. I could somehow tell my what I was looking for wasn't in there. Of course, being a 10-year-old kid, I didn't really know exactly what I wanted, myself, but that didn't stop me from looking, anyway.

What happened the next morning didn't give me all the answers, of course, but it did set me on the path.

“Hey, everyone, what's up? What are you all so excited about?”

The next morning, the other kids were making quite a bit of noise and forming a crowd. Having woken up a bit later, I didn't know what was happening and asked them.

“Yrza, come here,” Mother Marine said, as she waved me over. “I think you might like to meet this person.”

Moving through the crowd, I eventually came to stand at the front. An old man stood there. He looked just like a wizard out of a picture book, Long beard, grey hair, pointy hat and fine robe.

“Who is this guy, Mother Marine?”

“This man is the great Rune Master Grandall,” she said, clearly excited to be in his presence. “You've read about him before, haven't you? He was one of the Imperial Four.”

A few exclamations and cries of amazement came from the other kids behind me. I myself was quite a bit surprised to have someone like this come visit this church.

“So, uh, Rune Master Grandall,” I asked, studying him, “Why did you come here?”

“Oh, I'm just resting,” he said, as he sat in a nearby chair. “Can't be wandering the Empire's Corpse forever without taking some kind of break, especially not when I'm this old.”

For some reason, that made me giggle. Something about seeing this famous warrior, known for his wisdom and power over the runes, acting like a regular old man was amusing to me. Maybe he picked up on this, because he also smiled and laughed.

“So, who are you, little one? What's your name?”

“I'm called Yrza.”

“Yrza, hm?” Grandall stroked his beard, as he said this. “Not a name I hear very often, that's for sure.”

“They say that I was already calling myself that when they found me. I can't remember too well, myself, though.” I scratched my head, as if trying to dig through my brain and find the answer I was looking for.

“Did you forget how you got your own name?” Grandall asked, as he raised an eyebrow. “I've certainly run into an interesting one.”

“I think my parents gave it to me.” I sat on the floor next to the chair Grandall was sitting in. “That's one of the reasons I just have to find them. Why would they give me this name? What does it mean? Does it mean something good? There are so many questions I want to ask them.”

Hearing what I had to say, Grandall's expression showed to me that he was thinking hard about it. In retrospect, it's clear that he was thinking about how to offer his insight to a child that had hope in such a thing in a way that would be easy to accept and understand, more than anything else. “So, Yrza,” he said, finally having found the words, “what would you do if you couldn't find the meaning of it, or if there is no meaning?”

It seemed so obvious. I answered him immediately. “It has to mean something important.”

“Interesting,” Grandall said, with a smirk, “but why, my young friend? Why are you so convinced that it must mean something special? What makes you think that?”

“Because it's important to me.”

It was as simple as that. As a child, that was how I thought. It was the only way I could see things. If it mattered to me, it was important. Sometimes I look back and wonder exactly how much this mindset of mine has changed.

“I see, I see,” he said, as he nodded his head. “You've dodged my first question, though, my young friend. What if it means nothing?”

“But it has to mean something.”

He chuckled a bit at that. Back then, I wondered if he didn't understand what I meant, which was confusing to me, because, again, in my eyes, it was such a simple thing. It's clear, now, that he understood far better than I did. “For your sake, I do hope you figure out what it means.”

“I will, once I see my parents again.”

I saw him hesitate upon hearing me say that. Even as a kid I could see it. It was amazing to me, how he “knew” how my search for my parents was going to end. Of course, now, I can tell that the conclusion was obvious to anyone that wasn't me. “That would be nice, Yrza. It would.”

“Yrza,” Mother Marine said, “don't forget you have your chores to complete today. I'm sure Master Grandall will still be here once you're done. Go on.”

“Yes, Mother.” I stood up from where I was sitting and got to work those chores.

By the time I was done, Master Grandall was about ready to leave.

“Master Grandall, where are you going?” I asked, as I watched him prepare his speedscale to leave.

“Well, it's time for me to return to the capital, Young Yrza, or what's left of it.” He tied his bags to the speedscale and adjusted the saddle. “I need to see how the people are doing. Plus, I'd like to check on an old friend.”

“Can I come?” Without missing a beat, without even thinking about it, I said that.

“This is a joke, isn't it, young friend?” He asked, and held back a bit of laughter. “The capital is very far away. It could be days and days before we return here, and it could be a dangerous journey, besides.”

“Even so, I want to go,” I said. “Mother Marine once told me that she found me on the streets of the capital. My parents could still be there. Please, I just have to know!”

As Grandall sighed, I could see the sadness on his face. “I understand how you feel, somewhat, Yrza. A lot of boys and girls around your age were left as orphans in The Last Days, and after the Ghost Hurricane. I know what it's like to want answers, and understand why something is the way it is, but I have this horrible feeling, Yrza, that seeking after this will only disappoint you.” He turned away from the speedscale, and knelt down to look me in the eyes. “I must know, my young friend. If you aren't satisfied with what you find, what are you going to do afterwards?”

“I... I...” I had no idea what to say. An uncertainty I had never felt bubbled up in me. I was so determined to believe what I did, that I hadn't considered any alternatives. Anything beyond the path I saw for myself looked like impenetrable darkness, and, realizing this, I felt terrified. “I have to be right! If I come with you, I'll see either way, won't I? Please!”

“Yrza, what are you doing!?”

I heard a voice behind me. I turned around to see John. “Seriously, what are you up to!? Why are you bothering Master Grandall with this!? You know how worried we'd be if you disappeared, right? Come on, come back inside!”

“I have to go!” I shouted, for both of them to hear. “If I just stay here, my life won't have any meaning!” And there it was. As I said it, I felt tears in my eyes. “I can't just stay here! My... my reason isn't in this place! I'm not good with words like you, John, but I need to be somewhere else! You wouldn't understand! You're satisfied here!” Even then, I knew my words hurt him.

“Yrza, don't go! Are you not even going to let Mother Marine know what you're doing? Are you really gonna leave me and the other orphans here!?”

Looking at John's face again, I felt guilty. I understood what I was about to do. John didn't come out there to chastise me, he actually didn't want me to go. He didn't want to lose his friend.

“I'm sorry, John.” I walked over to him and put my hands on his shoulders. “I wouldn't mean to be gone forever. I just... I just need to figure out what I should be doing. If I left, I'd come back.” A part of me didn't feel like leaving anymore. I was looking at John, and realized he was trying not to cry, himself. What I was doing and saying wasn't fair.

“If he comes with me, I won't let him get hurt.” Having watched us for a moment, Grandall finally spoke up. He got on his speedscale and stretched his hand out. “Come, young Yrza. I'll get you there and back as safely and as quickly as I can.”

Hearing that, I looked at John again. Seeing him look like he could break down crying at any moment made the enthusiasm I was feeling earlier so hard to summon back to myself. Still, I thought about what Grandall was offering me. What if I could find what I was looking for, finally?

“Yrza. You want to close this chapter of your life and move on to the next, yes? Come with me. I will take you to the capital.”

“I... I'm coming.” I walked over and let Grandall pull me into the saddle. “I'll come back, John.”

“You'd better.”

John waved goodbye as Grandall grabbed the reins of his speedscale and sent it running at full speed.

It took us about three days to ride to the Old Capital. The entire time, Grandall made sure I had food and water, and made sure we would be safe from beasts and bandits.

When we got there, I made sure to stay close to Grandall, but still turned my head this way or that way, taking in my surroundings. This was not long after the Ghost Hurricane had hit. Ruined buildings, torn-up roads, people sitting in the streets. The awful smell of urine and feces filled my nose, along with other smells I couldn't quite identify back then, like the rotting corpses. I was having more than a bit of trouble taking this all in.

“Don't be afraid, young one,” Grandall reminded me. “So long as you stay nearby, you will be safe.” He walked on, and I followed close behind.

We eventually made our way to a bar. It seemed to be in decent shape, compared to the rest of the city I had seen. “Am I going to be allowed in there?” I asked. “I'm only ten.”

“There won't be a problem, so long as you're with me,” Grandall said, “I don't think.” He seemed a bit uncertain about it, but he walked in, anyway, and brought me with him.

“Grandall?” I saw the bartender. A young woman with long dark hair. “What brings you here?”

Instead of saying anything, he pointed to a man sitting nearby. A rugged guy, with short blond hair and a beard. Grandall started walking over to talk to him.

“What'll it be?” Asked the bartender.

“Anything, so long as it doesn't make me feel like death afterwards.”

“Okay, I think I'll figure something out,” she said, seeming a little exasperated.

Grandall handed her a bunch of coins. “For a little extra, could you keep an eye on the little one?”

“What? I'm not a babysit—”

“Thanks a bunch,” Grandall said, and immediately started his conversation with the blonde man.

The bartender let out a sigh and looked at me. Nervous and unable to figure out what, if anything, I should say, I ended up looking away.

“You seem on edge, kid, don't worry,” she said. “Grandall isn't gonna let anything bad happen to you. Protecting a kid, I know he can do that much.” I just nodded. “Not much of a talker, are you?”

I tried to speak, but it must not have been loud enough for her to hear.

“I'm sorry, what was that?” She said, leaning closer.

“Grandall's helping me look for my parents,” I said, clearly, this time.

“Oh. I hope you find them, kid,” she said, a bit halfheartedly. Like I said, looking back, it would have been obvious to anyone what was going to happen. “But just in case you can't find them, don't give up hope, alright? There's plenty more to believe in if not them. Just trust me on that.”

“Not sure I understand, but okay.”

“You'll get it when you're older, I'm sure.”

“For the love of all that's good in the world,” Grandall said, standing up. “If there's anyone you need to tell not to give up, it's him.” He pointed to the man he was talking to. “Come on, Yrza. Let's go.” Without asking questions, I nodded and followed him out.

“So, Rune Master Grandall, what next?”

“Alright, Yrza. We'll start looking for your parents. Is there anywhere you want to start looking in particular or should we just comb the whole capital?”

“If it's alright with you, I just want to look everywhere as closely as I can, and ask as many people if they know who my parents might be.”

He frowned. I saw him try to hide how troublesome he felt it'd be, but I could tell I was being something of a burden.

“I'm sorry, I don't really know what else to do.”

“It's okay, don't worry about it,” he said, as he laughed a little. “I promised I'd help, so I'll do what I can. Well, let's get started.”

So we did.

We must have spent all day and all night asking people if they knew my parents, if recognized my name, anything. However, we had made no progress at all. We did all that running around just to end up right back where we started, with nothing to show for it. Tired, I sat in front of the bar with Grandall, who was looking pretty beat, himself.

“I swear, we've looked pretty much everywhere, Yrza,” Grandall said. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I know you had your heart set on finding your family, but it looks like they're just not here. It's about time for bed. Maybe we can keep looking in the morning, you think? Yrza?”

I didn't answer him. I couldn't. There was nothing to say. I finally realized what I needed to see from the start. I wasn't going to find them. We could keep searching for days, for weeks, it wouldn't make a difference. I felt like a fool.

“Yrza?”

“We don't need to keep looking anymore,” I suddenly said. “The time we spent looking already was nothing but a waste.” I was trying not to cry, but I couldn't help it. Emotion was pouring out of me like it never had before. “I'm sorry for wasting your time, Rune Master Grandall, I just... I just wanted answers!” I screamed, so loud the whole city might hear me. “I just wanted to know what my life meant! I just hoped that there was something special! Something to point me in the right direction!” I fell to the ground, screaming, still. “Why... why am I even here!? What is even the point!? Does it even matter at all!?”

At that point, Grandall picked me up off the ground and looked me in the eye. “Yrza, never let me hear you say these things again!”

“Wha.. what?”

“Don't be ridiculous! Just because you found no meaning in this doesn't mean there's no meaning in anything. Here we are, your parents are nowhere to be found! You fixated yourself on the idea that finding them would give you meaning, and we have almost no chance of finding them. Now that you can't reach that goal, what are you going to do, now? Just die?”

I was starting to realize that he not only knew what was going to happen, but he knew how I was going to react, as well. I was struck silent by his wisdom.

“Yrza, listen. Do you see how bad this city looks? It got this way, no, the entire Clawscar Empire is the way it is, now, because people thought nothing mattered, anymore. They lived merely to consume endlessly, hoping to full the void left behind in the absence of meaning. It's not that nothing meant anything, if you ask me, they just stopped looking. So they lived worthlessly, accomplishing nothing, leaving what you see before you.” He spread his arms out. “I've seen where that attitude gets us, so I won't hear it.”

I was completely in awe. In my young mind, I thought to myself that this old man had finally opened my eyes to the truth. Nothing I had learned at the Church had moved me so much. Never before had I wanted so badly to learn more.

“Rune Master Grandall, let me learn more from you!” I shouted, which seemed to catch him by surprise.

“Surely, you could find another teacher, young Yrza,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“No, it has to be you! The way you understand the world... I want that for myself! I want to be able to see what you see, and feel what you feel!”

“I can't make you any promises.”

“It doesn't need to be a promise,” I said. “I just need a chance to understand.”

Grandall let out a sigh. He seemed unsure about what he was going to do, but still, he was smiling. “I guess it wouldn't hurt if I took on one more student.” He snapped three times for his speedscale and helped me onto it.

“Rune Master Grandall, before you start teaching me, can you take me back there, one last time?”

“So you're really leaving, this time?”

Back at the church, I made my goodbyes and prepared to leave. Mother Marine and John were there to see me off.

“Yeah.” Having packed a single bag of what little I wanted to keep, I started to walk through the door.

“Do you really have to go, though? You just came back,” John complained.

“Remember how I was complaining about not knowing what I should do and not seeing my future in the church? Well, I finally found it. I've found the path I need to take.”

“Hear that, Johnathan? He'll be alright,” said Mother Marine.

“But...!”

“Johnathan,” Mother Marine knelt down and wiped the tears from his face. “Yrza seems to have finally found his purpose. You know how badly he's wanted a place in the world, don't you? You should be happy for him.”

“But he's going away! I'm about to lose my best friend! How can I be happy?!”

“Johnathan, believe me. You will not lose him. Yrza is leaving, but your friendship isn't over.” Mother Marine looked at me. “Am I right?”

“Yes, Mother,” I said. “Thank you for everything. Well, I don't want to keep Master Grandall waiting too long.”

“Of course, take care,” she said, waving goodbye. “Don't forget us.”

I just nodded, and walked away, but then stopped.

“John. I promise this isn't our final goodbye. We'll see each other again, and by then, I'm sure that we'll both be far on our path.” I waved to him. “See you later.”

“Don't worry, young Johnathan. You'll see Yrza again, I'm sure, and he'll always be your friend,” said Grandall, on the speedscale. “Young Yrza, shall we?”

“Yes, Master.” He helped me onto the creature's back, and I waved one last time. With that, we rode off once again, and headed for his house in the southeast corner of the Empire's Corpse.